By Kalib DuArte

PUBLISHED BY ASYLUM ARTS PUBLISHING

Mountlake Terrace, Washington

Forward by Joe Price

No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner

without the prior written permission of the copyright owner,

except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

To request permissions, contact the publisher at kalib@asylumarts.com

First Edition

Hardcover: 979-8-9994669-7-6

Paperback: 979-8-9994669-8-3

eBook: 979-8-9994669-9-0

Library of Congress Number: 2025914446

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: DuArte, Kalib, author.

Title: Audio Terrorist

Description: First Edition, Asylum Arts Publishing, 2025

Identifiers: LCCN: 2025914446 | ISBN: 979-8-9994669-8-3

Subjects: LCSH: Creative Ability. | Creation (artistic, musical, etc.) | Music | Culture

Classification: LCC BF408 .R7368 2028 | DDC 153.3/5 – dc23/eng/20220921

Edited by Kalib DuArte

Cover art by Kalib DuArte

Layout by Kalib DuArte

Printed by

Asylum Arts Publishing

23210 57th Ave W #482

Mountlake Terrace WA 98043

www.AsylumArts.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FORWARD

PHILOSOPHY

COLLABORATORS

MENTORS

DISCOGRAPHY

PHASE I - Art for Art Sake

PHASE II - Let’s Make a Band

PHASE III - Finding Our Way

PHASE IV - The Dream Team

STUDIOS

LYRICS

INTERVIEWS

REVIEWS

THANK YOU

RECOMMENDATIONS

ARTWORK

PHOTOS

ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGENCE

DREAMS

FORWARD

It was in the late Eighties, a time which began with an upheaval and the growth of several parallel musical genres 'beyond the damage' of typical commercial fare, when I met Kalib DuArte at a major Science Fiction convention in San Jose, California - it was a crossroads of a sort at the time. We would reconvene at this event several more times before our connection transcended mere fandom and related commercial fan satiation.

While I was, and still am, merely a 'patron' of the arts, and of the underground music nightlife, Kalib was not one to be so content to enjoy product, but desired to create too.

From a young age he began his exploration along the outer fringes of popular media; American ~~Public~~ public tTelevision and the British T~~elevision~~ television which fed it, the world ~~Science~~science-~~Fiction~~ fiction books/television/film, and finally ~~Avant~~ avant ~~Guard~~ guard recording artists and their producers. This would add to his own pursuits of vocal music as well as early media technologies for audio/video, and then computers. The earliest of internet-related contacts, broadened his resources and drive for creating and sharing music and lyrics the likes of which few had seen at the time.

By the time we had met, Kalib had been experimenting with video and music using the accumulated resources gathered around him, as well as collaborating with fellow artists, mentors and technicians - partners in crime if you will. They all shared his direction and vision of establishing a network offering of what they individually could for the inertia to transition into movement, a movement that continues to this day.

Just outside the realms of fandom, Kalib and I spent many a time at various cafes, concerts and dance floors, not only in the San Jose area but in San Francisco as well. I would note that while at the time San Francisco was the leading place for the arts, music and nightlife, the South Bay was coming well into its own with Club Oasis (SJ), WORKS gallery, and later Club F/X. There was a quest desire in the suburban landscape for outlets of similar expression. We would share many a good idea, and a few bad ones of course, noting which the direction the 'underground' music scene may be headed as reflected in Goth-Industrial clubs, online communities, atin concerts, or what have you. As well as what creative fan course to follow. Magazines like Mondo 2000 and Research lead the way.

Every so often we would slip back into being merely connoisseurs of good music, not forgetting the dance floor or the fellowship therewith - The Trocadero, DNA Lounge, Oasis (SF), Cat Club, and various spots which came a went. Some quite underground like seeing Survival Research Laboratories performances near the old port. We were always roaming like a band of scavengers to find the most underground parties, happenings, and parties.

A much later point in time which stands out to me was when David Bowie had just passed away on the heels of his final album, “Blackstar”. Just days afterward, Kalib was at San Francisco's ~~Goth~~ goth staple “Death Guild” while I wandered into the Cat Club a few blocks away for their Thursday night 'Eighties' DJ night...which had quickly morphed into a memorial for Bowie. Suddenly his decades-spanning music was dominating the speakers as more fans rushed in packing the place. Texting Kalib that some special ~~Gestalt~~ gestalt was developing, he rushed in and I managed to get him past security into the packed club (thank you Auggie). Every Bowie persona was represented in the sweltering and claustrophobic space - I’m sure exceeding the fire limit. The mourners and revelers generating a communal energy would just not let go, not just yet, with the memory of the Thin White Duke. An epic club night to keep the underground home fires burning for sure. Again, the underground and the mainstream touching in a transitional zone between art and pop worlds.

Audio Terrorist’s music is known around the world, not so much via some 'Top 40' approval, but through the web, a resource well-used not just for music distribution but also collaboration as well, between its producers, arrangers, mixers, writers, mentors (or should I say 'peers' at this point) and fellow musicians. They are all partners in crime, all restless creators pushing the envelope in matters of sonic exploration and the discovery of new ideas. From his earlier songs such as “Beyond the Damage” to more recent endeavors like “The Bitter End”, Kalib DuArte, Audio Terrorist and all parties therein, will not be stopped in their creativity, nor perhaps have they the luxury as they are pushed, driven, to go further to discover what lies ahead.

How does one explore beyond the spoon feed mainstream comfort culture? It all starts with coffee and a few notes on a napkin. Enjoy the sonic adventure.

Joe Price

Observer, Reporter, Participant.

PHILOSOPHY

“Don’t just do anything, do something” - Dan Wyman

Audio Terrorist has never existed to make money. Historically it hasn’t sought attention beyond the establishment that it exists. It is a found artifact, the sound and image collage byproduct of experiments, collaborations, and concepts - some more abstract and others more reflective of pop culture. It has existed mainly underground as a series of performances or media where a chance encounter leads to the crossing of paths.

It was born out of a drive to explore beyond what is packaged and provided, gather the results of those explorations, then package them and provide them back. It is the recursive exercise of a dog chewing on a bone. It is the wheel which turns by engaging others to create in ways they might otherwise not. It is a mix tape with unfamiliar sounds issuing forth from the speakers of a vehicle you are in some way trapped in.

Its form was a result of what was available: broken cassette tape blowing in the wind, scissors, and tape. Start and stop buttons. Limited skills and unlimited imagination. Junk technology found in thrift stores, or the previous generation now used as door stops. Gathered and explored with no context or knowledge of what was possible with it.

When recursion is introduced a feedback loop begins. Collaborations grow to new levels, access to better gear results, collaborations become more polished, broad chaotic flailing of the limbs become structured. Yet, they, against all odds, retain the fingerprint of what came before. Something still rough along its edge. Unfinished, but shared.

Intent requires knowledge, skills, access, money, and a market. Intention simply requires drive and a vision. Sometimes they blend into their own eddies of probability resulting in something washing ashore. In other cases, they splinter and fragment against the rocks leaving no record of having existed. Perhaps a passerby looked up and noticed before it was gone. Some acts are meant for the doers, and no viewer is required.

This is a world of the “Found and Edited and Curated”, an underground which does not market itself as such, thus negating that it is. A Post-Modern land of mirrors and contrarian non-alliances embracing errors and flaws celebrating the fly in the ointment. A cave in which to ~~ReThink,~~rethink, ~~Revise~~revise, and eEvolve, unable to see the next result, only the task at hand.

None of this was preplanned. It happened. Doors opened or closed unexpectedly, creating filters, shaping events, engagements, and ultimately, results. Only in hindsight does any context present itself. Some in reflection an influence, some from a broader cultural subconscious stream tapped, but most postmortem justifications for that base human urge artists have to shake at the social cage and see what happens.

Looking back, the art music approaches of John Cage, the cut-up methods of Brion Gyson and William S. Burroughs, collage and experimental compositions by Negitivland, the raw and ranging creations of The Velvet Underground, the and late 70’s / early 80’s British groups like ‘The Human League’, ‘Tubeway Army/Gary Numan’, and Soft Cell who were intentionally combining experimental electronica with pop songs (or unintentionally like the American performance artist Laurie Anderson), and late 80’s goth influenced projects like ‘Sisters of Mercy’ all have a kindred spirit in the journey of ‘Audio Terrorist’.

Going the other direction, The Beatles so- called “White Album”, showed how big-name pop could become experimental. They could have rested on convention but John Lennon’s “Two Virgins”, and George Harrison’s “Electronic Sound” which showed even very famous people could experiment and explore - with minimal equipment.

For Audio Terrorist, it was a necessity originally born from limited resources which was then augmented over time by Mike Jennings, Kedar Roy, and composer/synth programmer Dan Wyman (Donna Summer, Sparks, Devo, Midnight Express, Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, The Fog, Apocalypse Now, Lawnmower Man, etc.). Later influences include producers Tyrone Stanford, Tim Leehane, Ed Clare, and Amit Amran. Each opened doors between and during different phases of focus and left a fingerprint of their own on the material.

Many of the periods were influenced by the ideologies of mentors like Barbara DeGenevieve (Photographer, Provocateur, and Mentor) (1), or dear friends like Eric Wenger (Composer, 3D Artist, Software Programmer: Bryce, MetaSynth, ArtMatic) (5). Sometimes just the word of a total stranger.

Every time an ideology has developed such as “no guitars”, “no marketing”, “no focus on results”, it’s counter has grown into a pounding need to be explored - add guitars to everything present and past, research all marketing options, focus entirely on results. It is something which can’t and shouldn't be pinned down. It is sonic Genderfuck.

The one thing which is consistent is the focus on “process” of the journey from concept to creation. Again, not always planned, but recognized when witnessed. A question becomes an experimental jam, an jam becomes an experience, the experience a recording, the recording a soundtrack, the soundtrack used to create a single. A single with the vocals of someone you met in a different context and on both occasions does not know you.

That Post Modernist reworking, revising, refining, diverging. Theme and ~~Variation~~variation. Not “is it good, will anyone like it,” but “is it done, is it complete, has the object come to rest, and I can let go now?” Fall into the abyss.

~~Audio Terrorist, w~~Where does ~~this term~~the name Audio Terrorist come from? It was ~~birthed~~ inspired in 1984 ~~inspired~~ by something Kathy Acker wrote in her novel “Blood and Guts in High School”:

“Terrorism is not being conscious. Terrorism is letting happen what has to happen, Terrorism is letting rise up all that rises up like a cock or a flower. Tremendous anger and desire. Terrorism is straightforwardness. You are a child. Only you don’t imitate. For these reasons terrorists never grow up. Terrorism is a way to health. Health is lusting for infinity and dying of all variants. Health is not stasis. It is not repression of lusting or dying. It is no bonds.”

Natural ~~child~~ child-like exploration rising organically from a natural impulse. A healthy creative expression not based on anything one is conscious of. Constantly in motion, not knowing where the boundaries are or even that they exist. Creating original, or unintentional derivative works which avoid recycling pop media “fandom”. This somehow happened and didn’t happen looking back. It is hard to unplug from a society and not reference it in some way.

Say “no” to even “no”.

You can hijack culture. This is act is now no longer underground or counterculture. What was post-modern art has become mainstream, packaged, co-opted for political and financial benefits. It is now a tool of power, but at the time, it stood against forced conformity, sheep like consumption, cookie cutter reactions within a safe zone. How times change.

Inserting into television and radio and print media was a creative event. Now, a simple, direct, and fact-based truth has become the act of transgression. Gone is transgression for transgression’s sake or as an act of defiance. The banal desolation of suburban America has become the terrain of paranoia fueled by fantasy and substance abuse masquerading as critique. How now does the creative spirit thrash about now that artistic expression is political delusion, the Science Fiction convention is big corporate business, and freedom stands for the destruction of the institutes of art and science? Ouroboros has truly eaten its tail in a case of social indigestion. So, what now?

Post Script: [BW1]

Early on, the drive was to discover, compose, collage, record, and distribute. By grad school the psychology plus art studies were having an impact, and the lens turned from outward to inward. As a result, I felt I had to do everything myself as an artist - audio, video, images, writing, performing, production, scheduling. I’d still rope in anyone interested (few) to join in superficially, but over time it became more and more collaborative. Eventually I was gifted with not being much involved, just there to just identify and edit. Albums like Glitch and, Afterburner, started having more “found backing tracks” that I arranged. By 95% of Entertainment was all Eric with “October” and “Entertainment” being my songwriting to his music (although “October” was modified a lot). [BW2] By the time of “Vampire’s Ball” it was the result of arranging music from a generative tool. Now everyone can do that with a few clicks, so what is the point? Time to collaborate live with people in unstable situations and be surprised again.

In 1991, I was diagnosed with ADHD, Visual, and Auditory Dyslexia. By luck, the Americans with Disabilities Act had passed and being at a State University this meant funding for me to begin receiving computer aided biofeedback, learning how to ask clarifying questions, plus using colored filters and slit filters while reading. It also gave me access to the “Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic” library of books. They produced unique 4-track mono cassettes I could play with this this big vari-speed tape player. After graduating, and getting money, I bought the “modified Walkman version”. This all opened what was possible for me, professionally, personally, and creatively. Suddenly, I could absorb information and learn at my pace, up tempo or down tempo and hear what I was seeing creating a parity check on data. Who I was before and who’d I’d become after (able to become) physically and cognitively took a turn for the better. I was able to claw my way out of the mental blockages, learn on my own in a way I where I wasn’t told I was lacking or inferior. It was a bBig step.

After that, I graduated with my degrees in Clinical Psychology and Music Production, decided to jump ship on a career in Psych, was accepted into a Graduate program in Multimedia, and became an artist full time. During this time while returning from a photo developer getting slides for a gallery show, Kedar and I were in an auto accident. While it left me with decades of physical therapy and pain I manage to this day, the settlement also gave me the funds to buy real studio gear for the first time. Mike Jennings got it all 1/2 off through his work which stretched the budget even further. The result was an actual 8 track digital recorder at home with a 2-track digital recorder to bounce masters. Now, I could really produce. This was the base system everything was done with until Hybrid.

Demos which had been started on the Mirage or Korg could be laid down and vocals overdubbed then mixed with effects. Of course there were immediately technical issues. For example, the Alesis ADAT tapes turned out to be only playable on the machine they were recorded on. Take them to another ADAT for vocal recordings with my coach, and when I got home, they were unplayable. Alesis said both machines were calibrated within spec just at the opposite ends, so it wasn’t a support issue. Nice job guys.

This is a theme which has plagued my tech life to this very day, and why I am passionate about Quality Assurance whenever possible. It has led to a lot of yelling, slamming fists on tables, etc. vs. creating music and songs. I was so raised DIY (Do It Yourself) and with no money, to took me decades to realize I could outsource and focus on being a creative.

Still, stuff did get done and material would flow onto what became the “Damage”, “Asylum”, and “Fracture” releases. Also, created music videos for “Mother (alt)”, “Genderfuck”, and “Beyond the Damage”.

Previously, in 1990, I’d convinced my friend Shelly’s dad to cosign a loan so I could purchase a Sony Hi8 camera, and shot videos for Phoenix I, Phoenix II, The Heart, and End Theory~~, and~~. I also shot a ~~Sci~~sci-Fi fi movie called “The Last Mechanic”. Material from the movie later became the “Kicking the Dog” music video. It is hard to imagine now how expensive it was to create audio and video back then. Also, the expensive but still mid-priced gear was crap. Better than VHS, but less reliable. I think I’ve mentioned elsewhere the “Genderfuck” video benefited from a tape being eaten, and me remembering my gutter cassette splicing, turned it into an effect which I wouldn’t be able to afford at the time! I think in the end the gear in the 90’s ran $15-20 thousand dollars, half in loans, and I made $10/hr. You do the math.

Anyhow, this meant stuff at the time did get documented, unlike earlier adventures, and again the gear held out until “Hybrid” where we switched to MiniDV format video. By that time, I was way ~~out~~ out-of of-date with what others ~~had and~~ could do for far less a price. A Windows laptop with a DV card and the camcorder was maybe $1-$2k ~~by comparison~~. Also, I’d become an ACID Pro junkie, so I could do everything all that gear did on the laptop. Only one piece of hardware to manage, and no cables/wires where every connection could fail or be confusing to trace and see what was going on. I joked that in the 90’s 50% of the budget was just for cables to connect all the things you wanted to buy to each other. The ~~laptop, like now the smart phone,~~digital revolution changed everything, from how we worked in the studio to playing live. You didn’t need a truck of racked gear, just a laptop, keyboard, mic, and mini mixer. It was very very liberating.

On a personal level, the 90’s continued to have transformations (3) which impacted the band and the content that was written for it. My adventures were encouraged by Barbara, Jan[BW3] , etc. and not only had I tapped into the growing Theremin revitalization scene, but also the Fetish Fashion one promoted by the UK magazine “Skin Two” and German magazine <<O>>. Like ~~Punk~~punk, it was migrating from across the pond to the San Francisco Bay Area. It had connected itself to on one hand the Dance Electronica scenes (all clean and reflective), but soon also influence the Goth Industrial (Dance) scenes as well. For some it was simply fancy, if impractical and expensive dress up like at Science Fiction Conventions, and for others a link to the world of Kink. Honestly, I don’t know that there is really a difference except in Kink there are a lot more rules and protocols.

When it came time to ~~decamp from San Jose and relocate to~~ ~~Oakland~~relocate from San Jose to Oakland, I’d done all I could do to introduce the ideas from ~~Grad~~grad-school ~~into~~ to the Biohazard gang[BW4] . Some of it might have happened anyhow as that was the art and music zeitgeist at the time, but it was clear no matter how much deeper, this was still a fandom culture. A~~Still a~~ themed party, not the art world. I ~~also~~ got to see how without the guard rails of a formal community, the ideasit could devolve into something else. Something more chaotic. Creative spaces, and edge communities, need to have some structure.

Barbara [BW5] had stressed during my mentorship, that San Jose would always be a provincial place, no matter how much it was pushed creatively. It would limit me. I firmly believed at the time that the shaman/mystic must live in the mundane world too, not be taken away to the monastery to have visions and become canonized as a saint. Also, that it was better to be a unique artist in a sea of suburbia, than go swimming in a sea of “art world zone”. It’s so easy to push boundaries in a community who does that for breakfast.

Yet, being in the artist lofts community area of Oakland, as she was, and visiting it regularly I knew the relaxation of being in a place where my soul was at home. This contrasted with meeting her for 1:1’s in a “Commuter University” office vs. being in her loft with a photo area downstairs and living space upstairs. There was space to work and to imagine. You could feel the different vibe and mindset around you for miles.

She was convinced you had to be in the scene to make a name as an artist, be surrounded by collaborators to be engaged, participating in critique to really develop. She was right. Dan [BW6] had said, if you want to do commercial music, go to Los Angeles, show tunes New York. I didn’t want to believe it. I thought the coming tech was going to make remote work possible. 1. It was way too soon, and 2. I hadn’t considered the human element. Networking is still king, and for that you have to meet people and position yourself on the web of opportunity. Larry [BW7] really brought that home as did other experiences.

Perhaps it was a fear of letting go, but I stayed in San Jose for around four years longer than I should have. Life awaited, and I remained in a self-imposed purgatory. Part of it was my inability to find work elsewhere. All my social and economic connections were there. I tried to branch out and find $ elsewhere but it seemed the San Francisco and Oakland crowd could sniff that I wasn’t of their tribes. Even after I moved, I’d commute south to Silicon Valley for work for years to pay the rent. This led to continuing to live two very different lives at once. That part was okay, I was used to operating in parallel universes, but it did continue the fragmentation and focus issues. I can see now the band suffered as a result.

Note on Barbara: at the time I didn’t see how out there she was, or would become, and that I was really was as well. The world of Psychology pushes and breaks expectations, so this was normal to me. It thinks this is “striving”, the bane of conceptual artists who continue to develop a line of thinking without breaking off or settling in with what they will be remembered for. Not until I stayed with her in Chicago, and we discussed the continuation of her intellectual path did I see just how extreme and ultimately nihilistic it can become. I think creatives like David Bowie had a built-in ejection seat once it got to that point, pull the rip cord, and reinvent the whole thing. I’m not sure Barbara ever did that vs. continuing to push boundaries until the next frontier in freedom is reached, which ultimately is death itself.

But I did take the leap in 1998, and I was born again as myself for the first time. Or more likely just another shedding of the skin and rebirth in a series of rebirths. I was living in an artist community, being an artist (when not commuting to and being at my tech QA job to pay bills). I was going to the events with people like me vs. representing that in a community which wasn’t. That would continue for another decade plus, before transforming again into the Karaoke me. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself…

1998 Annikah [BW8] and I setup shop at Ford Street Studios~~, she’s study~~. She was studying at Cal[BW9] while I worked. Her degree was the carrot which really got me to act and make a leap of faith. Me knowing Barbara, whom the property manager adored, put us top of the list in front of others. This is the reality of the world. It is about relationships in a sea of fear. In some ways I didn’t land until after the 9-11 attacks, but in others I was now in the flow artistically and musically like never before and on so many levels.

Also, I got the next diagnosis which took my life to another level of healing: Crohn’s Disease. With this and proper treatment for it, in 2 years I was in 95% remission for the rest of my life taking me to the next level of living in the world. Yes, there were setbacks but with more focus and days of health, meant ~~more~~ I could get more done.

Just before that, Eric Wenger had moved to San Francisco from Paris to promote his follow up to Bryce, MetaSynth (5). He had seen a gallery show of my work (while still living in San Jose) and emailed me. I used Google Translate to reply in French - I still struggle to speak it at all. ~~- w~~We booked a meeting at the bar in the ~~____~~ ~~[BW10]~~ St. Francis hotel. Him in a cream leather suit, and me in a leather trench coat with hair flowing. We became fast friends. ~~By being~~Being in Oakland meant being closer to the art scenes - I could DJ his parties and have many adventures which eventually would morph to those we had in Paris.

While most of my friends cut all ties with me when I moved to Oakland [BW11] (only 30-40 miles away!) which was a bit of a shock, some came to visit regularly like Kyu, Rebecca, and Thomas. ~~Which~~ Each clearly demonstrated it was possible to stay in touch if someone wanted to. h. It put a fine point on matters, that if you hang out with us in suburbia you exist, if you don’t, you don't. It didn’t matter how many years we knew each other or how close we had been in the past.

I’ll say in their defense, it the Oakland area wasn’t suburbia, and th~~hos~~e areas can be rough. So, if you are not used to the real underground, it can be a repulsive magnetic force vs and attractor. Still, it was a bit of a bitter pill, and it ~~also~~ drew a line of where my new life began. Annikah and I did however remain well connected to a mystical and neo-pagan community in the South Bay. ~~with~~ ~~which~~ ~~I’d~~ I’d been interacting with them since the 80’s. ~~That continued until the shift to~~ k~~Karaoke~~~~[BW12]~~ . Perhaps the subject of another book in the future.

Outside of that, Oakland became the first place where I felt like I belonged. It and the surrounding areas or Emeryville, Berkeley and El Cerrito wereis kind of one unit, and I still list it as my favorite “City”. ~~Or at least what it was, was.~~ T~~All t~~hose places ~~and~~ had so many adventures; , every pebble, every road I walked or a road bike on, a~~. A~~ll the bars and restaurants. Everything in the area dripped creativity and reality. I’m sure it has changed in the last decade. I see m~~, with m~~any places ~~closing~~ have closed (Loren Cafe), and tragedies ~~changing~~ have changed the lifestyle (Ghost Ship). Still, when I just flew over it 9 in 2023, ~~months ago~~ my heart swelled, and my mind said “home”.

“Wanna be on my show?” the email read. Barbara was right. Being in the East Bay made us come to the attention of creative people. One of them being ~~like~~ performance artist Frank Moore. We’d end up performing on his show several times, and be interviewed by him (once bumping a city council member of the roster). Later we’d~~, and~~ collaborate on a single and soundtrack without even knowing it. Frank was Mercury incarnate. Things that I I thought were limitations, would now be shown to be assets.

~~The~~ My engagements with Frank continued from the “Fracture” period to the “Hybrid” period. ~~as did much of the~~My lifestyle, social life, parties became “East Bay”. I’d even get a local job, so ~~things~~ life became more focused than ever. Even the mystical group I had links with bleed into ~~my groups which lead to~~ me composing ~~the~~ instrumental material which later Pixie would bring her song writing talents to. More shows were performed than ever before. It was a good run while it lasted[BW13] .

Foot notes:

1. Barbara DeGenevieve Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_DeGenevieve

2. Words to Victor Frankenstein above the Village of Chamounix (Performing Transgender Rage) by Susan Stryker

3. The Emerald Tablet – Alchemy for Personal Transformation but Dennis William Hauck

4. The Shaman – Piers Vitebsky

5. Eric Wenger: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MetaSynth

COLLABORATORS

Current Projects:

Kalib DuArte - Executive Producer, Song Writer, Vocals, Keyboards, Drums, Guitar, Lyrics, Mixing, Mastering, and Artwork.

Biography: Founder and curator of Audio Terrorist, Cuir Bleu, and KALIB music projects.

Tim Leehane - Producer, Guitar, Bass, Keyboard, Drums, Mixing, Mastering.

Biography: Indie music producer and songwriter working with artists across the United States. He has performed, arranged, recreated, recorded, edited, mixed, and mastered Audio Terrorist tracks for longer than anyone. The project would not be where it is without him.

Edmund Clare - Producer, Arranger, Editor, Mix Engineer, and Marketing.

Biography: Nova Noir productions songwriter with Georgann Ireland, and some top shelf names. A denizen of the goth-industrial scenes, he understands the sonic vision.

Chris Wirsig - Song Writer, Keyboards, Beats, Lyrics, Mixing and Remixing.

Biography: Film and Television score composer for Counter Communications, Lead producer for NO: Carrier, and Audio Terrorist collaborator. He wrote “Your Heroin”, has done a number of remixes over the years, booked shows, and co-written several other tracks.

Amit Amran - Producer, Mix Engineer, Editor, and Guitar

Biography: Owner of Amit Sounds producing artists in the Seattle Washington area. A patient soul as the vision is distilled into tangible audio recordings. He’s also a talented guitarist who’s laid them down on several tracks.

Raven Alexander - Producer, and Recording Engineer

Biography: Going by the moniker Auralincarnation he’s contributed to several remixes to the band’s catalog including “Sex Toy”, “Dying Dreams”, “The City” plus contributing parts to our covers of “Fame”, and “Being Boiled”. His and Tim’s reworking of “Your Heroin” became the album version of the track. He has taught Recording Music at the Art Institute of California.

2008-2018 Projects:

Tyrone Stanford - Guitar, Bass, Keyboards, and Vocals

Biography: Songwriter, Producer, Mix engineer, Editor, Singer, Guitarist.

Lee Presson - Keyboards, Drums, Remixing

Biography: Leader of the band Lee Presson and the Nails, owner of DetMach Studios, actor at the Renaissance Faire and Dicken’s Faire (Edgar Allen Poe). Remixer of multiple Audio Terrorist tracks.

Eric Wenger - Keyboards, Guitar, Beats, and Lyrics

Biography: Creator of the Bryce, MetaSynth, and ArtMatic software. Composer, Artist, and collaborator with Audio Terrorist, (Slavic Gal), PURPLEMAZES, El Silencio Blanco, and Zohreh.

Chris Mahon - Guitar

Biography: Live performances and recordings on “Sexy Bitch”, “Sex Toy”, and “Pleasure and Pain [Edge Mix]”

2002-2007 Projects:

Pixie Bleu - Vocals, and Lyrics

Biography: Renaissance Faire and Dickens Faire actor, Pagan Priestess, Stripper/Pole Dancer, and Songwriter. Retired to become a Christian Deacon administering to prisoners, and has now settled on a farm.

Bobby Cochran - Producer, and Recording Engineer

Biography: Recorded vocals for the “Hybrid” album, mixed some of it, and created several remixes including “Take a Picture”, “Slip Away”, and “I’m Your Lover”.

Lita Alexander - Bass player, Backup singer, Dancer

Biography: Member of Information Society and The Road Vikings.

Makana - Bass Player

Biography: The chauffeur and nanny.

1993-2001 Projects:

Annikah Boorse - Vocals, and Lyrics

Biography: Multimedia developer, and model. A big influence on the late 90s, early 00’s material. Alternated lead vocals with Kalib during this period.

Thomas Asmuth - Visuals.

Biography: Professor, Gallery Artist, Painter, Technologist. All round nice guy. His paintings have appeared on several covers.

Micheal Castellanos - Keyboards, and Drums

Biography: Founding member of the San Jose electronica band “Enrapture”. Remixed “Beyond the Damage”, “Branded”, and “Caravan of the Soul”.

Pyke - Vocals, and Lyrics

Biography: Guitarist, ACID Pro Insider. So many loop libraries were provided. He appears on the SJSU interview and Frank Moore performances.

BR5AN - Beats, and Samples

Biography: Created the Channel One video project, and a number of 8-Bit tracks. Remixed the track “Genderfuck”.

B.J. West - Guitar, Videography, Author

Biography: Strafe Font, Kelp Productions, creator of the Story Forge Cards for writers. He produced the music video for “She Said, I Am”.

1984-1992 Projects:

Kedar Roy - Bass, Composer, and Recording Engineer

Biography: Bass player for numerable SF Bay Area Blues bands. A man who opened doors.

Michael Jennings - Keyboards, and Noises

Biography: Technologist, Composer, and someone who opened many doors over the years - including studio gear, to computers, to image generation. His song “Your Will” sparked “Branded” being written and his end keyboard solo can be heard in several versions.

Chechi - Drums

Biography: Drummer for San Jose’s funk/punk band “Curbside”. The only live drummer in the group’s history. While no studio recordings were made, his year in the group was a turning point.

Chris Stroth - Keyboards, and Piano

Biography: Collage Artist, and fellow Science-Fiction Fan. His arpeggios lead to the songs “Night People”, and “Mother” being written.

George Unknown - Vocals, and Telephone

Biography: Brother of Barbara House and fellow creative in the High School Choral scene.

MENTORS

We never know how we impact others. Sometimes a one-time simple conversation, or years of engagement, council and stories, or simply by doing what we do, can create inspiration, open portals to worlds we didn’t know existed, and validate was of being we thought only existed in our mind only. The moment you realize you are not alone.

Dan Wyman - Composer, Professor.

Biography: Synth programmer and composer for Giorgio Moroder, John Carpenter, David Shire, and more. I think of him when “I Feel Love” by Donna Summer plays at the gym. He was the first person to find what I was doing interesting and worth developing. He also got me to take a Multimedia course, buy my first computer, and get into a graduate program for Multimedia. That lead me to dedicate myself to the arts, learn audio, image, and video production.

I got there to see him work on “Lawnmower Man” in all three variations and cheered when his name came up in the opening credits - his first big screen recognition. He taught me that humility is important but has its limits. One of the unsung greats of synth history.

Barbara DeGeneieve - Photographer, 3rd Wave Feminist, Professor, and Provocateur.

Biography: Gallery Artist, and Cultural Theorist. She pushed me to focus in ways I was maybe dabbling with, encouraged me to leap off a cliff in several ways.

From lectures, conferences, happenings, and 1:1 mentorship she helped me fuse a scatter of ideas, habits, traditions, creations into something with a unified vision. How to ground the conceptual into a moment of interaction which opens a door.

Larry Heller - Music Business Consultant, and Statistician.

Biography: Larry founded Music Research Consultants, Inc. (MRC) in the 1970s doing record test surveys for the big labels. During the 2000’s and beyond provided insights to how things in the biz used to work, and how they were changing. This gave me a baseline for when I started working with Balanced Breakfast and consulting for artists. He also got a track, which Tyrone, and I were working on, to the ears of Jerry Moss of A&M records, who liked it.

Dorthy Pallante Burkhart - Art Critic

Biography: Writer for ARTWEEK, ARTnews, and the San Jose Mercury News. Teacher and Curator.

Connection: While working at the San Jose Mercury News Dorthy recognized my interest in the arts and approach. This was before discussions with Dan got me to “make the leap” into being primarily an artist. She loaned me a book on “John Baldessari” by Coosje Van Brugge. Along with Dan, it was the most validating “being seen” event in my young life. My approach to art existed in the professional world! She also recognized my “mystical leanings” and took me on a few trips to meet people who would understand what I was about.

Unknown - Unknown

Biography: Unknown

Connection: At San Jose State University I was sitting in a stairwell and a man started talking to me. He set the seed into me that I could do anything anyone else ever had, the only limitation was time. From this point I strove to make each moment count and be productive. Also, to partner with kindred spirits to create more than each of us had time to do ourselves. “Rock Lotto” for life.

The Grounded - Various

Biography: Various

Connection: Most of the people who have had an impact on the world we live in are unknown, and/or unseen. This can be by design, neglect, or indifference. They are there, all around you. You can witness them, and when appropriate engage with them. Make it real when you do.

I’ve had brief engagements with people who are very grounded in reality. No masks, no bullshit, just present, aware, fully human. For example, Henry Rollins, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, and Frank Moore. Each made me let go and drop into reality for a moment. It’s not a place most people live it. We mainly live in our stories.

Discography

Year	Album	Type	Singles
1984	27 Meditations on Experimental Behavior	Studio	-
1988	Death Drives a Pinto	Studio	-
1990	Oscillations in Tension	Studio	The Heart
1991	Experimental Behaviour 1984-1991	Compilation	-
1991	A Bug in the Asylum	Live	-
19921	Nightporters	Live	Mother (live)
1993	-	Non-Album Single	The Shore
1994	Damage	Studio	Night People
1996	-	Non-Album Single	Fame
1998	Asylum	Studio	Oh, Old Man
1999	-	Non-Album Single	Branded
2000	Fracture	Studio	Beyond the Damage Genderfuck Kicking the Dog
2001	-	Non-Album Single	Spaces
2004	Hybrid	Studio	Sex Toy
2008	Wander	Studio	Dark and Moody
2009	Hypochondria	Soundtrack	A Bitter Pill
2010	Glitch	Soundtrack	Caravan of the Soul
2013	Leather, Sex, & Love	~~Remixes~~Studio	~~Take a Picture~~ Black Leather Take a Picture
2014	Afterburner	Soundtrack	Afterburner
2015	The Stork Club	Live	-
2016	Entertainment for the Day	Studio	October Entertainment for the Day
2018	Who Are You?	Studio	Your Heroin ~~Boys of Summer~~ Sexy Bitch The City (Genderfuck)
2019	Pleasure and Pain Symphony	Live	-
2020	The Bitter End Suite E.P.	Studio	It’s the End The Bitter End
2021	Resonator	Soundtrack	-
2022	Raw Jam	Live	-
2023	Vampire’s Ball	Soundtrack	Gothic Nights
2024	The Singles	Compilation	Lucretia, My Reflection Tainted Love
2025	Re:Vision 1984-2024	~~Remixes~~Compilation	~~Branded (2024)~~ ~~Spaces (2025)~~-
2026	Resistance	Studio	~~How Soon is Now?~~ We Fall from the Sky How Soon is Now? Being Boiled

PHASE I

Summary:

Where it all began. A pocket cassette recorder, a razor blade, and scotch tape. Found sounds,

I had no gear nor skills but a drive to do something, anything original. Not fandom. So many people I knew were just consumers of popular and unpopular media. What they saw as underground was wearing black, going to Rocky Horror at midnight, and discussing more obscure or bands from the UK and Europe. It was still pop, not art. They were taking more risk than being a suburbanite watching football, but it wasn’t John Cage. The closest to the actual art world some got was Laurie Anderson but that was riding the edge.

Folks, me included, found status and opportunity by mimicking something else. The Doctor Who fan club got me on television, we’d dress up as the characters during PBS pledge drives, and on stage at SciFi conventions playing a bit part in production by ‘The Elite” - some older folks who built full scale props, and were a little bit subversive with their scripts adding humor, parody, puns, etc. Perhaps clever but again, not wholly original.

That was a level of risk, or spoiling the party, folks were unwilling to take.

I was unwilling to fully take on many levels, but I had my trusty cassette recorders starting in 6th grade and had moved from sampling TV shows, to recording found sounds, improv “situations” as performance. Audio Terrorist was an outlet which didn’t need fans or fandom. It existed purely for itself.

I was always surprised when someone discovered the cassettes I’d sneak into shops or radio stations. Had a guy meet me on the dance floor at Club F/X and tell me loved them and played tracks on his radio show.

From the beginning Audio Terrorist was a collaborative set of “documented events” where the participants might not see themselves as creating, but as just being. Moments where there was either no pop context or it was so pulled out of its original context it became moment of art.. Which is the purest form of Audio Terrorist. And even with the increased focus on songs today, and yes pop covers, there is a parallel set of activities that remain improv, conceptual, and chaotic. Found moments which are not repeated, just documented.

Footnotes:

1. Dan Wyman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Wyman

2. Allan Strange: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Strange

3. Frank Moore: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Moore_(performance_artist)

27 Meditations on

Experimental Behavior

“With enough force, anything can fly”

About the Cover:

The monk meditating captured the focus on stimulation from the internal state (one’s creativity), vs. the external prescribed stimulation like Television. Going with the flow and seeing what happens, vs. producing a product for others to enjoy.

About the Album:

Where it all began. A pocket cassette recorder, a razor blade, and scotch tape. Found sounds, playing records backwards, spoken word, chance operations, and recording incidents.

The “Final Meditation” is a rip-off of John Lennon’s “Nutopian International Anthem”. Silence, noting, and nothingness. This was before I knew of John Cage.

I believe at one point there were 26 sonic pieces plus this silent one, but I only count 19 now. The tapes are long gone. Most likely more found conversations, tape collages, or Chris playing piano.

About the Tracks:

Nixon on the Beach - My friend George called me on a broken telephone, and my mother had an answering machine you could switch record on during a call. The name is a reference to Phillip Glass’ musical, which I love to this day.

My Mother’s Garden - A spoken word piece about looking out a window at you guessed it, with sound effects.

Chris in an Artist - Another spoken word piece about Chris and cafe culture, with sound effects.

Grrls n Grout - Recording of Chris Stroth talking in a tiled bathroom as I flush all the toilets.

Piano Musings I-II-III - I improv on piano while speaking in some sort of fake French.

Experiment I-II-III - I improv on guitar and piano harp plus vocalizing.

Chris Addresses His Audience - Chris improving at the piano and pulling the chain of a drunk man who thinks the work is by a famous composer he can’t recall.

Bomber - Another recording on the broken phone with George.

Chris’ Bath Time - Another track lost to time. It featured conversation recorded over the phone with him and his girlfriend taking a bath. This was edited down and set to a beat and music. Don’t recall how I achieved that but I remember being proud and holding onto the cassette for a long time.

Let’s Get the Sisters - Improv vocals during conversation while walking back to a Sci Fi convention from a Deny’s (restaurant) while the batteries in my cassette recorder slowly die. Playing it back at normal speed turned us into chipmunks.

Speaking in Tongues - Improv piano recordings with some sort of spoken fake language.

Für Elise [Tonal Cluster] - Straight forward playing from sheet music arrangement.

Inconsequence I - A collage created with piano banging, playing a record backwards with my finger, while changing tracks on an 8-Track cartridge (ca-thunk).

Grrls n Grout [Toilet Flushing Time] - Chris talks obliquely about attractive women and tile grout while I flush as many toilets and urinals as possible. 4 am at a Science Fiction convention.

Final Meditation - silence.

Death Drives a Pinto

“What is that other quote I keep forgetting”

About the Cover:

The original was created from photos, collaged with scissors, and glue stick, then finalized with a copier. Stuff which is so easy to do now. It featured the figure of “Death” riding a Pinto horse, and driving a Ford Pinto car - which I drove at the time, and had survived an accident in. Lucky for me I owned the model before Ford changed the back bumper from a shock absorber into just a strip of metal, which cost people their lives.

About the Album:

This material developed while at University. Many were assignments, others just me exploring multitrack technology, synths and samplers. More tech, composition, and planning, while retaining many of the improv ideologies of the first album. It wasn’t about the result but the exploration, the process. To do something conceptual and document the results.

About the Tracks:

In My Life - A ghostly The Beatles cover, lots of reverb. No idea how I made those sounds in a small closet 4 track studio at University. Only thing I recall in there was a Roland Juno.

Ironwind - Recorded live near Biohazard (a local alternative hangout/party space) of sci-fi nerds, goths, and cyberpunks. I convinced them to wander into the night, forget fandom, and create something original. Spying the train wheels like bells, I planted idea seeds and soon we were doing improve with sticks and steel. Another truly industrial track.

Underfire - A waterfall MIDI sequence generated by drawing back and white pixelated images in Master Tracks. Foreshadowing my relationship with MetaSynth and Xx starting a decade later! Layered on top are samples from the movie “Wizards” and a Hawaiian record I found at my parents. Recorded in Allan Strange’s studio he hated the track except for the Hawaiian music. For a guy whose claim was experimental music, he only seemed to like conventional music. Dan Wyman’ reputation and actual tastes were just the opposite.

Land of the Free - Featuring samples from Laurie Anderson, William S. Burroughs, and Frank Zappa interviews. Set to a stomping beat loop. All loops were really that, a spliced loop of tape with a mic stand holding the tension as it ran over the playback head on the two-track reel to reel recorder.

Underground - A reading of Dostoyevsky’s “Notes from the Underground” spoken over loops from David Bowie’s “Width of a Circle” and The Velvet Underground’s “Heroin”.

Needles for Addicts - A radio play about junkie case officer on the phone, he gets into an argument with his apparent girlfriend over playing Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” to drown out the neighbors having sex on a creaky bed. The twist is the girlfriend turns out to be a prostitute, and the officer goes back to his phone conversation. Mike Jennings worked hard to get the motion on a squeaky bed just right. His exhausted panting at the end was real.

Hello Earth - This Kate Bush cover might have been created on the Buchla modular synth. It includes some type of buzzy speech processing, and that the gear didn’t really work the way I wanted and was unmixable. Other than some of the chord stabs you’d never guess what it was a cover of.

Mozart 569 - A bit of Mozart sequenced as MIDI then set to a synth.

Chamomile - A simple original composition played into a cassette 4 track at Mike’s Garage. It was a chill relaxing piece. Thus the name.

A Clockwork Woman, a Jabbering Man - Also recorded at Mike’s Garage, I laid down a keyboard part, then asked the first two people who entered the room to read a passage from Anthony Burgess’ “A Clockwork Orange” (I didn’t know either of them at the time), and then the third person to read from The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carol. An old friend from Junior High School.

Für Elise [Tonal Cluster] - Was very proud of this track. A university assignment to do a tonal cluster arrangement. I picked Für Elise as it was one of the few pieces I could play on the piano, wrote the score, then programmed bits of it in the Roland Juno’s sequencer, dumped to four track reel to reel. Cleared the memory, programmed the next set of notes, then hit play on the synth and record on the tape. Dramatic pauses happen with each start/stop of the tape.

Funeral Chant - Did this on a keyboard at Mike’s Garage and improvised vocals on top. Kinda reminds me of Gary Numan’s “I Sing Rain”, then played the whole thing backwards.

Buchla - Sadly this track is lost. It was the only early Audio Terrorist track created on a modular synth. This one took up a wall in Allen Strange’s studio.

Oscillations in Tension

“Humanity isn’t a coordinated effort”

About the Cover:

StoryThe original cover was a collage of images I’d taken with an early Mac scanner: a rumpled United States of America flag, and an old oil lantern lighting the way.

About the Album:

Oscillations continued in the vein of Death and Meditations - orchestrated chance events, reading literature, and references to popular media. Just with a bigger studio, more advanced gear like samplers, tape loops, 16 track tape recorder, and a MIDI computer.

About the Tracks:

The Heart - This one doesn’t fit Audio Terrorist at all. More of what the KALIB releases would become. A combination of two songs composed at the piano, “Right by Your Side” and “Sandy”.

A Clockwork Woman and a Jabbering Man [Studio Version] - A re-recording at Dan Wyman’s studio featuring the original vocalist/speakers.

Monster in the Orient - A Dan Wyman class assignment and my first all sample-based composition. Each sound was to be changed so that it was hard to guess it’s source. An egg slicer became bells, breaking fiberglass a thunderstorm, etc. Loosely based on the Chinese invasion of Tibet.

Sculptured Meat - The first track collaboration with Kedar Roy (recording). Largely me improvised on the piano in a Debussy meets Cage way while I read from “The Futurist Cookbook” by Filippo Tommaso Marinetti

The Ballad of Jennifer Logan - Added to later editions of the album, this was truly composed, then sequenced in MIDI and played back. It is electronic but somehow rustic, so I named it after a vision that I was the reincarnation of a man named Anthony Logan. Who moved to the United States from England and died drowning in a creek - thus my early fear of water. His wife’s soul visited me to release me from the fears I had adopted from her late husband. Mission complete, she could evolve to the next plane of existence and merge with the greater unified spirit.

Tribal Dawn - A romantic song written on piano, loosely inspired by the opening keyboards in the Siouxsie and the Banshee’s single “Hong Kong Garden”, then sequenced in Master Tracks, finally played on sampled drums with lots of reverb and delay.

Inconsequence II - Using the cutup method and stream of consciousness layered over samples and clips from commercial movies, television shows, phone calls from friends, all set to an original looped beat. Highly un-releasable these days.

Fur Elise [Dream Mix] - Yes, even at this early stage the tradition of remaking/re-envisioning tracks was a regular thing. Trying to recall which synth this was done in. Perhaps the Roland D-50 in Dan Wyman’s studio.

My Mother was a Car Bomb - This is real industrial music - harsh like a sonic jackhammer. A soundtrack for someone trying to start their car as zombie’s approach.

Tie Me Up! - Added to later releases of the album as it fit here more than anywhere else, recorded in 2002 for Cleo DuBois’ bondage video DVD.

Fiesto [Trans-Erotic Birth] - Added to later releases of the album and recorded in the early 2000’s with Frank Moore. His team edited an improv jam of him and I into a soundtrack for his movie Fiesto. Another person edited this into a single, and his friend Annie Sprinkle added orgasmic sounds. Frank had been confined to a wheelchair unable to speak all his life. Shows how much more power you have in the world than you think.

A Bug in the Asylum

“Leon, behind the iron curtain”

About the Cover:

An image from the Barbed Wire Theremin art gallery show with hands outstretched playing a low growl. A space between tension and release.

About the Album:

Time does not flow in a straight line with ideas. They weave and fold back in on itself as technology, focus, opportunity drives. This sonically belongs to Phase I but happened in Phase II with my Master’s thesis and the recording was 5 years later, but as it is a part of the SJSU years, it belongs here.

After “Nightporters” and during the development of the tracks on “Damage” an Audio Terrorist tradition began. It consisted of performing experimental instrumental works using Theremin’s at Art Galleries in parallel to the increasingly song orientated music being produced for the albums. This practice came out of my master’s thesis where I used a homemade Theremin attached to over 100 feet of barbed wire encircling a weather balloon to convey the concepts of the psychologist Wilhelm Reich.

Again, Mike Jennings came to the tech rescue. My $50 Theremin need a multi-thousands of dollars voltage regulator to stabilize it as people moved in and around the room. In the end, everything worked, it was innovative, and low budget. A few years later this evolved into another art gallery piece about borders and danger, then eventually to the “Notes from a Bug in the Asylum” about the Soviet Union and Leon Theremin’s tangled history.

It’s a throwback to Phase I but also a split which would continue with the band. On one hand more produced songs, and on the other hand experimental instrumentals, plus improv pieces in the middle. A similar concept using the Theremin would play a role on a different live album, The Pleasure and Pain Symphony, but that’s a story for later.

Original recordings don’t exist, some video clips from 1994, and a later recording of a performance in Oakland does. This is what is presented to represent it. Three Theremins: Etherwave played by me triggering the Korg 01/R + Lexicon LXP-1 and LXP-5. Each alternating foot pedal push would change either a synth patch or an effects patch. Annikah played the Longwave Theremin on the same effect’s buss, and Michael Blakley read poetry and played a handheld Theremin - the same circuit from the gallery show but in a box.

This was at a gallery that Thomas Asmuth hosted events at. He ran the slide show I put together of 1950’s USA Propaganda films, signs of later collaborations with Thomas, projected on a large sheet I rigged to drop after the first movement, but the strings caught on the ring they ran through, so we got a draped effect, which was kinda better. The universe provides.

About the Tracks:

Movement 1: Iron Curtain/Propaganda - Lev Sergeyevich Termen invented the bugging device which spied on the United States’ Moscow office for 7 years but also had discovered a unique way to make music.

Movement 2: Rediscovering Leon - Like Wilhelm Reich, the Theremin had been forgotten by the early 1990s. My mentors scoffed at me saying there would be a comeback. I turned out to be right.

Movement 3: Travel/Kidnapping - Leon traveled the world to promote the Theremin but was eventually captured and taken back to the Soviet Union.

Movement 4: History/The Bug - Leon’s inventions were used for creative and political purposes which play a role in everyone’s lives more today than ever.

Bonus Track: Gallery Show Kink – During the 1994 gallery show at SJSU I filmed some friends doing a DS Session within the space with the Barbed Wire Theremin going. It seemed to create the real life tension Sigmund Freud and Wilhelm Reich were writing about and inspired the show. Tension/Release, or threat and safety. Sometimes submission is the release from harm or danger and passivity a place of healing. Within a safe space it and dominance can be expressed in a healthy way which leads to growth.

PHASE II

Summary:

After the release of the track “End Theory”, Kedar and I were introduced to a drummer from The Czech Republic whose nickname, no surprise, was Chechi. We rehearsed Sunday mornings in the Czech’s living room where a drum kit was the only permanent piece of furniture. the Czech. The household was made up of several Czech guys who drank bottles of beer on Saturday night, so Chechi was quite often hung over with us waking folks up with our racket, yet no one cared. I recall him going once going to his return and saying, “she likes your lyrics, they are depressing”.

Most of the tracks were developed with just the 3 of us playing live: Drums, Bass, Mirage Sampler, and Vocals. I still had the 80’s Electronica ethic of “no guitars” in mind. I’d record the session, edit the results, and then duplicate that the onto cassettes. No one could remember what we had done the previous week, so this provided a framework to keep things moving and for us to evolve beyond just jamming. Sometimes we’d have guest players.

Key would be visits by Chris Stroth who’d play keyboard arpeggios and chords which left me free to sing and write songs. Two of these pieces became “Mother” and “Night People”. Both sets of lyrics originally created via stream of consciousness during the jams and then given a bit of edits later. His presence opened what we could do, but his wife had some sort of separation anxiety, would call him home not long after he’d get there, and ultimately disrupt proceedings.

Other guests included James Tejada who was key to opening me up to Prog Rock and Art Rock like early Genesis, Frank Zappa, Marillion, etc. Stuff where the band went complex and epic. Something I’m trained in doing but rarely go there as a composer/writer. I’m more of a keep it simple person. James had played on “The Heart” for the Oscillations album and added guitar so some versions of “The Child’s Song”. Rebeka Ahrendt did a jam track with us (The Gypsy) and later played Cello on the version of “Mother” heard on the “Fracture” album.

While the “Nightporters” album is a compilation of live recordings, there were attempts to make a studio version. Recordings were started in The Big Studio, but things never worked out. This is one reason why after a year or so of this “live band” version of Audio Terrorist, it was disbanded. Kedar went on to be a well-known blues bass player and gave up on experimental music, Chris stopped playing with a group, and Chechi joined the San Jose band “Curbside” doing live shows and recording three albums with them. I did the graphic design on their first album. Kedar referred to the live band line up as Audio Terrorist Brigade, which would be repurposed as the name for the fans and support team: The Brigade.

Sessions at SJSU were booked to get higher quality recordings and several attempts at “The Shore” were made, but rather than tracking, they turned into noodling jams as always and the hoped studio album never happened. Just live recordings via a mono mic plugged into a cassette player.

Outside of The Cactus Club, and a video shoot at F/X Club, we never got out of that living room. Kedar and Chechi kept saying, “we are not ready yet”. I’ve seen worse bands. Was still trying to live to the moto of no-guitar, but Chris’ attendance was too irregular to be counted on and Chechi was frequently hung over, so his tempo was loose. I couldn’t focus on keyboards and vocals at the same time. Went round and round but never really got anywhere.

“As the Day Breaks” would get me hired as a lead vocalist for “Oceanside” as the bass player felt I sounded like Ian Curtis of ‘Joy Division’ on it. The guitarist loved ‘The Cure’ especially the track “The Forest” so it should have worked out, but 1. Their previous singer was more of a high rock singer voice Ala ‘Pearl Jam’ vs. my low. 2. The tracks were in the wrong key for my voice, and no one had an interest in transposing. So, the Guitarist wanted me out and would drown me out during gigs. He and the bass player fought over it and broke up. Shame, they had something…

At that point I was done with humans. It was time to retire them and go with machines. Drum Machines, Synths, and less drama.

Nightporters

“We are like night porters and dreams”

About the Cover:

A person who knew someone knew Siobhan Halstat who had access to camera equipment in the back room of a Kinkos copy shop - where you made copies of pieces of paper - they also did passport photos etc. The snuck me in and we did the rubber opera gloves and Renaissance Fair shirt with the air of fear of being discovered there, changing, or being shirtless in rubber opera gloves! It was the most stressful modeling I’ve ever done.

About the Album:

The original release gathered the live sessions and performances with Chechi and Kedar into one set plus some studio attempts at San Jose State University’s “The Big Room”. Later rereleases contain expanded live material from several years later which fits well with the earlier recordings. Inspired by the many The Velvet Underground and The Beatles (Get Back) bootlegs I had which didn’t sound any better, so why not. It captures the state of affairs at the time.

About the Tracks:

As the Day Breaks [Live ’92] - A brief clip caught on tape during rehearsal. What got me and lost me the Oceansize crew. Bass player wanted to be Joy Division (which I sounded like), the guitarist wanted to be Pearl Jam (which I did not), yet loved The Cure, so it broke up the team. Glad to finally have a full studio version done.

Mother [Live ’92] - a very fast version performed at The Cactus Club. Chechi was a punk drummer so tempos could really vary.

Baby Likes [Live ’92] - Captured live at The Cactus Club. Dedicated to sexologist Carol Queen who was a friend of mentor Barbara DeGenevieve. She once told me my hand was too big for the task at hand, I believed her and the duties went to a friend. There is a great photo of this moment.

Night People [Live ’92] - A fast version performed at The Cactus Club. See “Mother” above.

The Child’s Song [Live ’92] - A mid-tempo version performed at The Cactus Club.

The Gypsy [Live ’92] - An improv between Kedar Roy, Chechi, and Rebekah Ahrendt now Dr. of Musicology at Utrecht University, Netherlands. She also played on the third studio version of “Mother”.

The Hunter [Live ’92] - A performance with backing band Oceansize.

Angel [Live ’92] - a performance with backing band Oceansize.

The Child’s Song [Live ’91] - a dirge like version caught on tape during rehearsal.

Time is Not My Friend [Live ’91] - A dynamic track with a catch crowd engaging chorus vocal. Always thought this one would be a single if developed.

Fame [Live ’95] - performance and video captured at Apple Computer featuring the Multimedia Integration Team on instruments and backing vocals. Jan Leger asked me to wear “Fetish Fashion” to the performance, and other events. She could be quite the provocateur.

Kicking the Dog [Live ’99] - Live recording from the board with Annikah on vocals. Unsure the location, perhaps Burnt Ramen?

Stupid Bitch [Live ’99] - Live recording from the board with Annikah on vocals. Unsure the location, perhaps Burnt Ramen?

The Shore [Live ’91] - A track where I tried to be stream of conscious and also clever with the lyrics. It just ended up needing a definitions list. ~~Always thought this~~This one would become a single. We did several attempts to make a studio version in San Jose State University’s “The Big Room” studio. The final recording was a splice of two takes.

Byron Lie Down [Live ’91] - An homage to Lord Byron and Marquis De Sade and Wilhelm Reich it would seem. Attempts at word plays. Featured a train horn sample played on the Ensoniq Mirage DSK.

Night People [Live ’91] - Slower demo version recorded during rehearsals. James Tejada who had played on “The Heart” improvised with us.

Mother [Live ’94] - Recorded at San Jose WORKS gallery, it features sonic landscapes by B.J. West on MIDI guitar (he’d go on to create the video for “She Said, I Am”), and Dave Penny on Sax (he’d appear on “October” years later), and Howard Buzick on bongos (appreciate your appearances). The original lineup bailed on the performance. So, we ended up with more roadies than performers. The show must go on!

Branded [Live ’97] - Recorded in San Francisco at the Maritime Hall. This was a big “Fetish Fashion” event with us as the guest band. It also featured a gallery show of my work and a GYN table as a stage prop - which one of the roadies ripped up the paint on the new truck with, and others didn’t show up as they went for dinner. By time I hit the stage to sing, I was already wiped out. After performing I was so drained I found a stairwell and curled up in a ball sobbing. I really needed a pro stage manager at this point. The members of “Enrapture” performing electronic drums and looking awesome, Mike Jennings appeared on stage as the mix engineer, and I had even scripted actors to interpret the songs and interact with the audience. I could dream big… making things happen was another matter. Specially making them happen at the quality level I wanted. That kept escaping me.

The Shore [Single Version] – Non-Album Track studio version of the song. Later enhanced and re-released. The technology was crude, error prone, and expensive back then. You really had to save up and eat little if you wanted to polish something, so it was hard to be cohesive with productions. Current technology is cheap and powerful and allows for fixes to be made on old masters. Wonderful tools for the archivist!

Fame [Single Version] – Non-Album Track studio version of the song from 1996 based on the 1995 performance. While these are later recordings fitting in between the “Damage” and “Asylum” albums, the live version was added to “Nightporters” in later editions and so dropping the studio version here. A foreshadowning.

~~A Bug in the Asylum~~

~~“Leon, behind the iron curtain”~~

~~About the Cover:~~

~~An image from the Barbed Wire Theremin art gallery show with hands outstretched playing a low growl. A space between tension and release.~~

~~About the Album:~~

~~About the Tracks:~~

~~Movement 1: Iron Curtain/Propaganda~~ ~~- Lev Sergeyevich Termen invented the bugging device which spied on the United States’ Moscow office for 7 years but also had discovered a unique way to make music.~~

~~Movement 2: Rediscovering Leon~~ ~~- Like Wilhelm Reich, the Theremin had been forgotten by the early 1990s. My mentors scoffed at me saying there would be a comeback. I turned out to be right.~~

~~Movement 3: Travel/Kidnapping~~ ~~- Leon traveled the world to promote the Theremin but was eventually captured and taken back to the Soviet Union.~~

~~Movement 4: History/The Bug~~ ~~- Leon’s inventions were used for creative and political purposes which play a role in everyone’s lives more today than ever.~~

Damage

“What do you do when you don’t need to fight?”

About the Cover:

Story Little did I know it when I did my first Tarot based image and showed Mike Jennings the “Ace of Spaces” sketch of what I wanted the final image to look like, and he wiped out Adobe Illustrator, drew the spade, then dropped it in a tester beta of something called “Bryce”. That image would go on to be in gallery shows, in publications, and get used as the “Beyond the Damage” single cover.

I’d been drawing people in this pose since I was a child. Now alchemical elements were added along with Tarot representations of them. The piece was published in the British magazine “Skin Two”, and years later the same concepts were used by Frank Ockenfels (photo) Dave De Angelis (collage) for his cover of David Bowie’s “Earthling” album. Coincidence? Most likely, the concepts are universal in “Western Hermetic Esoterica”. Zeitgeist of the time.

I’d go on to do four additional large format images of all 4 aces (thank you Apple printer test department), and a huge photoshoot where I shot most of fool’s journey cards, some court cards, but it was never completed (life happens) and technology changed, but Eric Wenger, the man behind Bryce, just happened to enter a specialty shop when they were doing an art gallery show of my work, recognized it was done with Bryce, and got my phone number. Which lead to decades of adventures… and my involvement with MetaSynth.

Anyhow this image of four people on a GYN table was intended to be the “Fortune” card, there is another shot of the exam table for “The Charioteer” featuring Mr. Bondage-a-Go-Go dancer Lun Esex. The gal in the album cover can be seen in his mirror shades on the other. In prep for the photoshoot, he and I re-enacted a scene from Highlander in the “Infinity Loop” parking garage. Says something about Apple at the time.

This photo shoot was the largest and most complex daylong event of my career. Many thanks to everyone who supported it, some words to those who undermined it, and a tip of the hat to Dave Gurley who kept it going. Years later he’d create the photo for the “Hybrid” album and its sister album under the “Cuir Bleu” brand “Sex Toy”.

About the Album:

In many ways, this album was the model form for the major Audio Terrorist albums moving forward. Traditional rock songs mixed with electronic arrangements, remixes and some tracks remaining experimental. It was titled “Genderfuck” then “Beyond the Damage” and then simply “Damage” to align with the one-word titles post the purely art concept experimental phase of the band. They were songs, just quirky ones. As with the 80s’, the 90’s albums were to avoid guitar whenever possible.

About the Tracks:

Night People [Lost Boys Mix] - Needed a drummer for the session, the studio owner said he knew someone, but I’d have to pick him up in Santa Cruz, drive him to Campbell, and take him out to breakfast. He was returned home feed, and we had our studio version done. The owner played a kind of “spaghetti western” style. Robert Jasman from Apple played keyboards on this, a version of “Mother”, and the live version of “Fame”. Recorded on my ADAT 8 Track.

Branded [Industrial Mix] - Also done at same studio in Campbell, it was a recreation of Mike Jenning’s track “Your Will” but with different lyrics. The drums were played by Michael Blakley on a Roland Octopad II. The six-pack of beer may have made us a bit loose. I think I played the synth parts on the KORG 01/R but have no memory of doing so. Maybe it was Robert Jasman. I also don’t recall why this was done there, I thought the Barn Studio was in place by then. The lyrics were meant as a short cinematic poem in the middle of the music with the atmospheric beginning setting the scene, and the intense synth the aftermath.

You Are in My Vision - The first of four Gary Numan covers created. Recorded to ADAT at the Barn Studio using a MIDI file on the Mac SE30, and it sounds like the Casio CZ-101 and DR-660. Most likely the vocals were done in one take.

Sympathy 89 - This song has shades of a spoken word piece over an earlier asymmetrical track like “Under Fire”, yet a with a darker feel. The opening part is the Korg 01/R played by the Moog Etherwave Theremin via the MIDI converter. This and Branded were the first “kink” themed tracks for the band. A narrative which would peak in the mid 2000’s.

Beyond the Damage [Shatter Mix] - I created this track with the Boss DR-660, Casio CZ-101, and Mirage keyboard playing a sample of breaking glass. Fairly minimalist even though the arrangement is Drums, Bass, Guitar, and vocals. The lack of synth pads and rhythm guitar made it feel open, too open, but much more truly industrial.

ALT: me with a Doctor Rhythm DR-660 (drums), Casio CZ-101 (Bass) with the Noise button on, and Ensoniq Mirage-DSK. The goal was to start making tracks without anyone else’s help, schedule, or potentially drama.

Genderfuck [Machine Mix] - Started off as a demo track called “Standing in the Rain” the lyrics were based on my grad-school studies with Barbara DeGenevieve. She introduced me to Susan Stryker who introduced me to the term (1). Some of Barbara’s students asked me to model in drag, and I’d been exploring Hermetic philosophy and it’s gender symbolism in Alchemy. The video was my first “blue screen” work and contained the first image from Eric Wenger’s “Bryce” app to be used in a video. The b-roll and backing material was from a photoshoot by the artist Andrea StClair (another student of Barbara’s who I was head over heels for). The Sony Hi8 video technology I had invested in was just pricy junk and one of the tapes was “eaten” by the player. Remembering the cassette repair days and the principle of “waste not, want not”, I rethreaded it, then digitally captured it. This lucky accident was used as the background layer of distorted and colored video textures. The effect would have been impossible to easily create at the time. It was achieved on Mike Jennings’ video editing station. Based on Adobe Premiere and sold by Radius. It’s drives held 10gigs of data was a foot tall. It’s video/audio sync would drift with time! So, I had to add white screen flashes in the original 7min video to resync. This lucky accident was used as the background layer of distorted and colored video textures. The effect would have been impossible to easily create at the time. Limited setup but a leap forward from the Videotronics tape shuttle and sync systems used on previous videos.

Transmissions - a self-generated track. I was looping a simple MIDI pattern in the Barn Studio and the audio from the Korg 01/R through the Lexicon LXP1 and LXP5 and it began to morph and evolve. Recognizing what was happening I hit record on the DAT tape and let it run for 10 minutes. Another pure Audio Terrorist moment.

Orgasm - This track is sadly lost. It was generated by a brainwave reader which could output MIDI. The data was recorded to a cassette tape then loaded into the device for playback. I loaned it to a few friends to record. Originally this would form the basis of my Master’s thesis, but in the end, I built and used a Theremin circuit to interact with viewer’s bodies in the gallery space in real time.

Mother [Single Version] – Non-Album Track version of the song. The definitive version amongst the various others - including an up-tempo version for the short film by Vanessa Newell, a dreamy reverb version where the lyrics waterfalled over themselves, Michael Castillano’s electronica remix, or the version heard on the “Fracture” album featuring Rebekah Ahrendt’s lovely cello playing. I think this is the best vocals I’ve done.

Asylum

“Don’t look at me…”

About the Cover:

One of Barbara DeGenevieve’s challenge to her students was, go out in public as the other gender. Especially for the men. Learn what it is like to be heckled or fear rape. Also, for your beauty to be artificial and take quite a bit of time and effort to create. She was an intense artist, professor, and mentor. This is a selfie (before that was a thing). I took it one such an outing, but I have no memory of when or where it was taken, but there were so many parties, clubs, and dress ups being attended at the time it is hard to tell. It was the era of “Skin Two” and <<O>> magazine and all that Fetish Fashion - got in Skin Two twice.

About the Album:

Asylum captures the first recordings made at Ford Street Studios. These were paired with earlier instrumentals previously unreleased. Plus a remix from BR5AN. It is somewhere between an E.P. and L.P. really. In many ways a precursor to the Fracture album which was the “big album” which was recorded there.

This album is unusual as it contains three Gary Numan covers: “Tracks”, “A Game Called Echo”, and “A Seed of a Lie”. The second was also included on a fan compilation covering his entire “Telekon” album. Honored to have been selected to represent that song. It was a fav.

About the Tracks:

Phoenix I - An instrumental recorded in Alan Strange’s Electro-Acoustic studio and sequenced on a Macintosh computer. It was controlling some synths and samples I can’t recall. Years later I heard the intro to the band Sparks’ “Number One Song in Heaven” track and said “wow, that sounds like my Phoenix tracks”. So, I flipped over the album, read the credits, and I saw “synth programming by Dan Wyman”. So, no surprise after all!

A Game Called Echo - This was second Gary Numan cover recorded. I recall it being a straight forward affair. Playing banging pipe samples on the E-mu ESI-32 sampler, one take vocals, add reverb, mix to DAT.

The Mystic - This one was quickly improvised on a Casio CZ-101 and an Ensoniq Mirage. It was inspired by the theme to “The X-Files” and books by Aleister Crowley. Annikah’s vocal “comments” make it creepier than originally intended. The lyrics on one hand are the reflecting the “fool’s journey” of wide-eyed innocence leading to wisdom. Like Harry Nilsson’s “The Point”. The fool ends up at the Hierophant’s house who tempts them with a promise of knowledge or salvation. In the end, the lyric comes across more like a evangelical preacher in an Ice Cream truck. The true perverts.

Oh, Old Man - This was written by Oceansize, but I felt connected to it strongly due to relationship with my father. Which in hindsight was more to do with being self-focused and not understanding or relating rather than any negativity. Though Annikah did a great job putting her own emotional twist on it.

Big Daddy’s Bones - Chechi came by the warehouse at Ford Street Studios. I put him in front of the Octopad II + DR-660 and initiated a recording. Total improv and this Tom Waits like piece just flowed out. Chechi looked at me like, “did that just happen?” When improv works it is like magick.

Tracks - The third of the Gary Numan covers sung as a duet with Annikah. An imperfect track but emotionally it really has something that touches me. Two people singing to each other from the same perspective, asking the same questions, and yet on the other from each other and distant. It was a good idea that would be repeated a few more times over the years.

Seed of a Lie - The last of four Gary Numan covers the band did. This one again sung with Annikah. His work was such an influence on me. It’s less effective than “Tracks” but it was nice to cover a more recent song of his.

Phoenix II - A variation recorded in Alan Strange’s studio. No memory what systems were controlled. I do wish I still had the recording done on the Buchla, sadly it isn’t in the archives.

End Theory - Originally recorded in 1991 with Kedar Roy at Dan Wyman’s studio using microtonal sampling on a Macintosh computer using the Alchemy application, then loaded into an E-MU Emulator II+. I believe I wrote a series of triggers in Master Tracks Pro. Additional sonics are most likely from a spring reverb unit.

Genderfuck [BR5AN Remix] - BR5AN took up the challenge to create a remix using an early competitor to ACID Pro. Forget it’s name. Largely instrumental and the choice word I was shy about front and center. He would date Annikah a few years later.

Fracture

“I don’t have the answers, I don’t know the questions”

About the Cover:

The image of Annikah is from a photo shoot by Marie-Laure Requet who was the wife of Eric Wenger at the time. The idea was to use this as a portrait on the cover which blended beauty and a reality underneath - her battle with manic depression. I started with a black background and a hard boarder then Annikah introduced the grey with the mirror image boarder which kinda suggested an Eastern European feel. It was the first to use the Apple’s “Cracked” font on the band name, which was then retroactively added to reissues of “Damage” and “Asylum”. BJ West’s “Strafe” font seen on the “Nightporters” album was originally used on earlier albums, and the first album by Chechi’s band “Curbside” - I did the CD layout for them.

About the Album:

The first cohesive Audio Terrorist album in my book, I see it as a companion piece to “Who Are You?”, and “Resistance”. It contains remakes, remixes, and originals from its time. Now that I think of it, lots of them do outside of the “soundtrack” albums. This is the second album to feature Annikah, and at live shows she would sing on half the song set, and me on the others. Stepping away from being the “lead vocalist” until 2008’s “Wander” started here.

B.J. West created a music video for “She Said I Am” using material from photo/video material shoot with Brian Northway. The inspired the initial concept of us in “Back to the Future” the car. B.J. took it from there and made a mini cyberpunk film out of it.

About the Tracks:

Beyond the Damage [Fracture Mix] - Originally released as a single in 1998, it held the #11 position on the Goth-Industrial chart for 6 weeks (mp3.com). Very proud it got attention. It was also featured on several Eastern European radio stations. The music video was a lucky accident. I was asked to bring a video recorder to a photo shoot a friend was doing. In exchange, I got to shoot footage used. Some of the material was also used as B-Roll in the video for the Damage version of “Genderfuck”.

Stupid Bitch - Sometimes when you are in an abusive manipulative situation with a mentally unstable person, you just have vented your feelings in a song form. I didn’t like calling anyone stupid so changed it to “sexy” in later versions. I’m told this made the situation worse.

Kicking the Dog - Another emotional purge song, this time about the two abusive people who inspired Annikah and I to flee San Jose and find a new start.

Asylum - A backing track by Antibiotic Orange with lyrics and vocals by Annikah. I’d always worry my lyrics being too edgy. Then, I’d listen to hers. She didn’t hold back punches. The music video by Eric Wenger is very revealing.

Genderfuck [Radio mix] - Intended as a single version of the song, this was recreated using a Boss DR-660 Dr. Rhythm, and Korg 01/R synth. It’s a faster more synth pop version than what had appeared on the “Damage” album. For a long time it was the topmost streamed Audio Terrorist track.

Branded [Enrapture Remix] - Michael Castilanos joined on drums for the live performance at The Maritime Hall in San Francisco. After that produced not only the “Beyond the Damage” single remake but this more electronica remix of “Branded”.

Mother [Intro] - The third piece Michael worked on would have been a remix of “Mother”, but it was never finished. An extended edit of it became the Karaoke version of the song.

Mother [Cello Version] - Rebekah Ahrendt again makes a guest appearance here.

The Child’s Song - Studio version of the track this time using the Boss DR-660 Dr. Rhythm, and Korg 01/R synth. Another minimalist track. A reflection on leaving fandom to do something original even if that meant isolation.

She Said I Am - Another very minimalist track composed on the Casio CZ-101. When it played on the radio someone told my parents it sounded like “Manson”. I was horrified to be compared to a murderer. Only years later did I realize they most likely ment Marilyn Manson. Duh.

Night People [Dark Duet Remix] - A completely re-envisioned version as a male/female duet. The E-mu ESI-32 sampler played a role in its production.

Landed in Hell - Just a little snippet, again commenting on bad personal relationships in the 90’s. There was a remixed version in the archives. No idea now.

Stupid Bitch [Antibiotic Orange Remix] - AO did a really great job remixing this. Still a bouncy favorite.

Spaces [Live] - Various versions of this track were started, but this one was the most promising. I heard a mix of it which was amazing but sadly was lost 5 minutes later. The engineer had quickly applied a mastering process to it and then bounced the file for me to take. It was horrible, the mastering ruined it. I begged him to undo and give me the unmodified file. He said he was too tired and would do it the next day. That day was Sept 11th, 2000. Everything in the USA was shut down, and the company he worked for, and the one worked for, folded and so we never saw each other again. To save it, I added an audience and reverb, then re-EQ’d to sound live. It seemed to work and explain its sonic wash. The track would be later reworked with a different Pixie vocal and lyric becoming “I’m Your Lover”.

Branded [Single Version] – Non-Album Track version from 1999. These annual singles were able to get more attention and budget than the albums. The re-release includes some enhancements not found on the original single, but Annikah’s lead vocals and most instruments are from the original ADAT recordings – you can hear the digital glitches. I did a new male whisper voice for the re-release to cover where her vocals dropped out.

Hybrid

“I’m your Sex Toy”

About the Cover:

Photographed by Dave Gurley in front of a colorful carpet store near Ford Street Studios where I’d lived a pivotal part of my life but had since moved back to suburbia. The Cuir Bleu mobile, Pixie, Makana, and I had modeled all day for him, and this was one of the last shots. It captures so much of what passed as “regular life” at that time.

About the Album:

These tracks were originally created as a soundtrack for a Bondage DVD called “The Pain Game”. The music was rejected as being “Too Dark”. Go figure! The music was released as an instrumental soundtrack album called “Our Tribe”. This captured the original versions while referencing the social media platform everyone I knew was on.

The goal was to then add lyrics, vocals, and guitars. Multiple recording sessions were booked for layering new parts over the beats and synths I’d created in ACID Pro. At one session Annikah didn’t appear, Pixie pulled out her book of lyrics and started singing them on top. A new phase of the band was born that day.

Unfortunately, the “9-11” attacks on the USA had meant the word Terrorist was no longer metaphorical to the country. I mean people were being called “terrorists” and stabbed on the streets for San Francisco at the time. It was very scary. So we quickly rebranded as “Cuir Bleu” for a time to avoid unwanted attention. It would eventually branch off to become its own thing later on for its second album, but this one was always Audio Terrorist.

It started in the kink world, and it ended in the kink world.

The album had started as a follow up to Fracture and was the first to not feature outboard gear. Everything was created on a laptop with loops in ACID Pro – now something which isn’t allowed. It was nice as the studio and live shows now needed a lot less equipment, cables, and roadies. It also featured a shift to majority female vocals with only backups performed by me as she had the better voice and vocal troubles continued to plague me. Most of the lyrics were by Pixie Bleu with some by me or from earlier Audio Terrorist songs.

The sex positive themes by Pixie layered on top of the more dance orientated tracks set the tone for the project. The “Our Tribe” title to the backing tracks was because everyone we knew in the Bay Area, especially creative, 80’s, sci-fi, costume, and kinky people who seemed to be all the same folks, were on the social media platform called “Tribes”.

Bobby Cochran mixed several of the tracks, recorded Pixie’s vocals, and created three remixes. How times had quickly changed from all that outboard gear.

Performances at Kink festivals and parties were the mainstay of this period.

About the Tracks:

Slip Away [Remix] - A remix by Bobby Cochran

Take a Picture - what started as a guitar riff evolved into the most rock sounding track to that moment. I recall playing it live during a parade and I’d strum one open chord with distortion and people went crazy. That never happened when doing the same thing on a keyboard. The power of popular media.

I’m Your Lover - new lyrics and music added to what was the bed track for “Spaces”.

Falling Through Mirrors - the most “hippy” track to appear on an Audio Terrorist album.

Slip Away - a version of the song with my original music.

Marquée [2ème Partie] - Branded set to new music and spoken in French.

Sex Toy - the most popular Audio Terrorist track for a decade, it’s dropped to #3 behind Pleasure and Pain, and Genderfuck due to Spotify playlisting.

Brass Pole - inspired by Pixie’s performance on the Erotic Life DVD and earlier life as a stripper in an Adult Club.

Pleasure and Pain - vocals over a simple drum look and bell sound I looped. Quick and dirty. The sounded wrong. No one else seemed to hear it in the studio. I did a car test and found the left channel had a fixed tone running through it. There was no time to remix. So I simply duplicated the right channel to the left and released it mono. No idea that years later this little album or B-Side piece would grow into being the most played Audio Terrorist track. You just never know.

The City - remade and revised version of “Genderfuck” with 90% new Pixie lyrics.

Future Transmissions - what my music business mentor Larry Heller referred to as an “art track”. Not a complement. A reminder of the experimental side to the band using collage and spoken word. You have to tip your hat to the band’s history.

Take a Picture [Dream] - Another remix by Bobby Cochran

I’m Your Lover [Water] - Another remix by Bobby Cochran

Haunted Play - Another classic Pixie hippy meets darkness track. I see it as a vampire love song, along with Night People, and others.

Blue Leather - This was originally going to be the title track.

Brass Pole [Reprise] - This was later to be re-released as “Touch” with Mistress Liliane speaking.

Sex Toy [Telephone] - A remix by DJ Moda. We had attempted starting a business together but that had fallen through. Later he did this, and then later we met a third time. In each case we were in a different space in life. Funny some ~~some~~ folks are in orbit’s to another no matter how close or far.

PHASE III

Summary:

After Pixie left the band, there were a few directions taken: Reworking that period’s material a be a blend of male and female vocals as on earlier releases, albums with just my vocals on what would have been follow up material, new material which was largely piano (like Mediations} but with electronica elements, instrumental sound track albums, etc. In the end all were attempted and released to one degree or another and/or developed in what would become Phase IV of the project.

In a lot of cases lyrics were written for these tracks, and vocal recordings attempted, material performed live, but they never seemed to really work due to the vocal performance/attitude/style mismatching, or frequent technical errors in the studio. At one point all of this work was lost when the Buffalo NAS had 7 out of 8 redundant drives fail. Most of the work was restored with recovery tools from single drive backups piled in the closet.

Wander

“I won’t walk away from you”

About the Cover:

The original cover image was a blurred shaken image of me in a hoodie and is sadly lost. The final one shows a more confident and is more on brand with a black hoodie and shades. Self shot on bluescreen then added an ArtMatic texture.

About the Album:

This one is a real mixed bag and is the band’s “lost album”. It was never properly finished in any form. Some concept albums became soundtracks, or others remixed onto compilation albums - what albums aren’t?). This one is really scattered between sexy electronica tracks which were intended for a follow up to “Hybrid”, or piano based moody depressing tracks about relationships dissolving and taking everything with it. Maybe it will be polished off one day…

After Pixie and I parted ways, Cuir Bleu continued being developed as a lighter more funky pop or even acoustic guitar with vocals affair. I produced most of the backing tracks but it wasn’t Audio Terrorist. It was time to yet again shed the skin and find out what @ was all about. Let the collaborations return!

Overall the album was more somber with piano parts, synths, and vocals. Ironically some of the tracks for the second Cuir Bleu album still ended up in the mix here in a different form. Never felt Wander really worked. Tyrone Stanford was now producing and introducing RnB elements. Kinda like when The Human League did the “Crash” album. Like the backing music for “Asylum” on the “Fracture” album, it featured a backing track by a contributor (music for “I Won’t Walk Away”) vs. a collaborator. Something seen even more on albums like “Glitch”, “Hypocondria”, and “Entertainment for the Day”.

While the “We Are Done” single was reworked (more guitars and attitude) and included on the “Who Are You?” Album, “Wander” was a work caught in between worlds and transitions.

About the Tracks:

Phoenix III - Rising from the ashes once again. An instrumental synth keyboard chords, with drums, and percussion such as bells. Lyrics were written and a Karaoke version made but I prefer the instrumental.

Dark and Moody - a Pixie lyric, possibly about me. This whole project I was exploring the piano again, then sequencing drums to them. After that Pixie would improv a vocal. It ends with a very funky guitar part I added. In some ways not very Audio Terrorist, but then again that is what the term means – to be surprising with one’s style.

What it Means to Share - a Pixie lyric about polyamory. Using samples to explore my love of funky guitar parts which started with the theme for “Space: 1999”. Was a huge fan as a kid. Okay, I still am.

Carry Me Home [Remix] - a piano piece with beats and vocal collage. Many shades of the pieces from our albums in the 80’s. Also, “Mother”, and “Nightpeople” which started on the piano.

Electro Truck [Connector] - an instrumentaal bit with beats and guitar.

I Won’t Walk Away - a collaboration with someone who’s name I’ve forgotten, Tyrone Stanford on backing vocals. Introduces some RnB elements Tyrone would add to later versions of “Black Leather”. A track about Mistress Liliane.

Exorcist [Connector] - an instrumental piano bit with arpeggios which reminded me of me of…

Wax Pulling Hands - a song about a performance piece I say and participated in at SF Citadel. You could say it made an impression.

Let’s Go [Connector] - a synth stab instrumental bit with handclaps and a kick. This was how tracks sounded when I’d first start them.

Things that Dreams are Made of [Cuir Bleu Version] - a The Human League cover we often played at live shows. Pixie on vocals.

Glissen [Cuir Bleu Version] - a lyric by Pixie about the spirit of her Godfather visiting.

Shotwell [Connector] - an instrumental bit again with synths and beats.

Do We Have the Time? - upbeat instrumental track using a similar synth to Phoenix III. It also has lyrics which were not mixed. Perhaps someday a delux version will get done.

A Simple Idea - a piece which reminded me of those 1970s synth albums.

We are Done [Simple Mix] - the original version on piano, bass, and drums (no guitars). A reworked [Single Version] would later be included on the “Who Are You?” album.

XIO - the only thing I ever ended up recording on the Novation XIO. Another thing I’d jam on which never really lead anywhere. It’s amazing how a piece of gear can open up so much in the store, then do nothing once at home.

A House Called the Citadel [Pleasure and Pain] - The a reworking of an English folk song with new lyrics to honor SF Citadel who had us play a many parties and at a few parades. It also become a track on the “Pleasure and Pain” E.P. with a mashup of Pixie singing lyrics from “Pleasure and Pain” track.

Minimalism - piano arpeggios with adlib lyrics. A morning after the party is over track.

Along with Me - a shuffling beat, a synth lead line, an Ovation acoustic guitar, and lyrics written but not recorded.

My Life [Connector] - piano bit repeated. Another scrap which went nowhere.

Remembrance - yet another piano with drum and an electronic kick/bass bit. I was shooting for the sunrise uplift after the darkness of the storm, but it sounds more like the Snoopy theme, so abandoned.

Descending [Connector] - just a quick piano clip.

Goodnight Darlin’ [Scratch Vox] - another attempt for an end of album statement about the lineup going their separate ways. No angst, just reflection.

Leather, Lust, and Love

“Your My Sex Toy”

About the Cover:

Thomas Asmuth had joined Audio Terrorist in the late 1990’s as a “visual artist” like Phillip Adrian Wright’s role in the early version of “The Human League”, and his focus was using film and slide projectors for the visual aspect of shows. One of his paintings became the cover of the “Slip Away” maxi-single, and here his work with Cloud Chambers was used. The single used an image by Larry Utley

About the Album:

With Pixie losing interest/focus in the band, the idea was to do to an e.p. reworking the “Hybrid” tracks with me returning to lead vocals and adding guitar to increase the energy at live shows. The result never really lived up to the vision, and I didn’t feel the vocals I did with Tyrone as producer were right. They never really got a final mix. A track which had been an instrumental got the spoken word treatment via Mistress Liliane which was ~~similar to~~like the approach taken on “Clockwork Woman and Jabbering Man” with Ailsa Barrett and Karen Davis back in the 80’s.

The remainder of the tracks were made up of instrumental variations as a soundtrack for “scenes”. Best track on it would be the video version of Blue Leather. It really works in the video, unsure if it stands alone without it. There were multiple versions created, one released as a single, and an alternative version with more funk elements via Tyrone.

“Pleasure and Pain”, “Sex Toy”, and “The City” got rocked up single versions which appear on the “Who Are You?” album. I’d like to revisit the rest of the material and rework it sometime in the future. UPDATE: Black Leather and Take a Picture got redone!

I’d stepped away from the Kink and Darkwave communities after the “Hybrid” period to focus on the Karaoke community, but as time passed, I dipped my toes back in now and then. Some interesting remixes with Auralincarnation (Raven) were created as a result.

About the Tracks:

Branded II [Extended Mix] - a longer edit which was sometimes used as the outro at shows with the band leaving the stage one at a time, leaving me to finish on a sustain.

Haunted Play [Negotiation Mix] - Same as “Hybrid” version but Kalib vocals, Tyrone mix.

Pleasure and Pain [Edge Mix] - Adding guitars for what would become the version released on the “Who Are You” album.

Slip Away [Shadows Mix] - Swaps out the original chorus with something Tyrone came up with or I improvised or both: “their breathing down my neck…”

Deliverance [Elemental Mix] - New lyrics based on the western alchemical elements, and hermetic iconography.

Take a Picture [Motor Mix] - Re-envisioned as a leather clad motorcycle rider. Seems a little silly now.

Touch [Mistress Mix] - “Brass Pole [Reprise] but with Mistress Liliane spoken word. The idea was for this to be the start of the journey. A “welcome to our world” kinda thing. I was working on her magazine ads and website at the time.

Hymne [Original Mix] - A Vangelis cover played in one take on the Yamaha Motif ES.

Branded II [Instrumental Edit] - A shorter version of the track meant as a bed track for a single.

Sex Toy [Instrumental] - Same but without vocals.

Pleasure and Pain [Instrumental] - Same but without vocals.

Black Leather [Instrumental] - Same but without vocals.

Brass Pole [Late Night Sinners] - Alternative version for the Late Night Sinners interview. Features the Karaoke crew at Nick’s Lounge yelling “Brass Pole”.

Touch [Instrumental] - description

Black Leather [2014 Funky Single Mix] - Tyrone’s first take on the track, released as a single later but replaced by the earlier rock version on later releases.

Black Leather [Funky Alt Mix] - Tyrone’s second/remix take on the track.

Black Leather [Single Version] - Non-Album Track. This is an enhanced rework of the [Video Version] on YouTube for years. If time permits, I’ll rework this album and make it the album version. We shall see…

Take a Picture [Single Version] - Non-Album Track. Same situation here. Improved for the Re:Vision album but might get the chance to weave it back one day. Money permitting. It always comes down to money to pay the right people.

Glitch

“Your love has, dwelled in me”

About the Cover:

The final “Glitch” (Glitch II) cover art was from a photo I took of the Hollywood light rail station. I was visiting my music biz mentor Larry Heller who lived in Laurel Canyon at the time. It looked super ScI-Fi and 70s so I solarized it and added the design elements. The “Glitch I” cover is of the Berkeley BART station.

About the Album:

Writing on what became “Glitch I” started in Colorado during a ski trip at 10,000 feet and would have featured lyrics written by both Pixie and I. Recently I’d been hearing various “glitch electronica” tracks and felt this was the direction to go. These ended up as a collection of seeds we could develop just as the material for “The Pain Game” DVD had.

Unfortunately, the decision to split the hybrid of Audio Terrorist and Cuir Bleu into two distinctly different projects, one taking on some rock elements (“Sexy Bitch”) and the later some more folk arrangements (“One to the Left”) meant those seeds never grew, and were forgotten, and then lost for a time. Yet the name stuck.

What ended up being released as “Glitch” wasn’t in that style at all. We’d done a remix of Zohreh and Eric Wenger’s “Navai” which used words by the Persian/Iranian poet Rumi. This inspired me to write new lyrics based on an English translation. Additional tracks were worked on with someone Tyrone introduced to me to named “Hebrew”. While I wrote lyrics for all of the tracks inspired by the DEFA Sci-Fi Collection - a series of East German films.

A reworked album with the fully lyrics recorded and mixed was planned to be called “Glitch Redux” but ironically it never happed due to Acid Reflux. Maybe that was fixing the glitch in production?

The doumbek playing using the Roland HPD-15 first heard on “Spaces” returned on this album for an “exotic dash” of Middle Eastern and Indian feel to the backing tracks. Similar to the “Sex Toy [Harem]” remixes. For a long time a red aluminum doumbek was in the studio.

In the end, Glitch I is a series of short electronic instrumental ideas using loop as with “Our Tribe”. This was “glitch style” soundtrack material, could have been a new album, but it never went that far. It’s now an appendix to the expanded edition of the “Glitch” album which features tracks which are not glitch. While vocals and lyrics were written and performed live telling Sci-Fi stories, only the vocals for Caravan of the Soul were ever released. The rest of the album went out instrumental. Oddly there is a video of someone singing Karaoke of “We’ve Come So Far” even though it was never released. The power of chords to tell the melody where to go.

About the Tracks:

Caravan of the Soul [Original Vocals] - Mike Castilian was back. He’d done the arrangement for the “Fracture” version of “Beyond the Damage”, and I asked him to do a take on “Navai” for a maxi-single but loved the track so much I also repurposed it for Audio Terrorist. The vocals were later re-recorded for the “Who Are You?” album.

The video is a fan edit of one of the DEFA films. Greatly reworked/reordered to follow the story of the song and not of the film.

Seductions - an arpeggio and sustain based track.

Who Are You? - an electronica beat based track.

We’ve Come So Far - heavy power chords on guitar, keyboard top line, drum machine. Lyrics never mixed but the Karaoke version exists, and it was originally going to be the single. Only time I’ve found video of someone at a karaoke bar singing an Audio Terrorist track!

False Paradise - the version with guitars. Lyrics and a karaoke version were used in some live performances.

In the Dust of the Stars - a poggy synth patch, string parts, and basic beatbox drum. Inspired by the movie of the same name.

Uprising [Three] - an arpeggio keyboard part. My nephew used it as the soundtrack to some of his video game playing. It is a repeat of the third bit of the Glitch 1-17 piece.

Who Are You? [Reprise] - same as about without my vocals. The video was fan-edited from one of the films which inspired the track.

Create Paradise - a different arrangement of “False Paradise”. This time with a synth lead at the end.

Seductions/In the Dust of the Stars [12” Mix] - a version with “Seductions” as the intro. This was used for the Karaoke version of the song.

Glitch 1-17 - various explorations with “Glitch” styled loops. Originally intended as starter files for a follow up to “Hybrid” with Pixie. Ironically the files were lost in hard drive crashes, but the album went out with the name. They were recovered later and included with a re-release. Sketches for something never completed.

Caravan of the Soul [Single Version] – There is a live version with the band No:Carrier and around that time we re-recorded the vocals for a single version. The album version was deleted on the BandCamp release of “Glitch” and this version included on the “Who Are You?” album.

Hypochondria

“I can feel it coming, this threat”

About the Cover:

Made with Bryce 3D by [I don’t recall the artist but it reminded me of my work], text design by myself. I will need to recreate it as a new piece someday.

About the Album:

Started in the mid 2000’s as a collaboration with William Masback, the bedtracks are all his. I set Sci-Fi songs (vocals and lyrics) to the music telling a tale of a pandemic which impacts the world not just on a physical level but a psychological level. It involved projection, denial, inability to detect truth (nailed what Covid would be), it also described how as a result humans leaned more on machines to do the work for them, and they question this. There is a happy ending but one where nothing is resolved. All the fears and paranoia still hidden underneath the smiles. Vocals were recorded but judged not right for release. Someday, til then it’s just a soundtrack and a concept.

Other bands have since created albums which covers what this was attempting, so it’s not as novel as it would have been at the time.

Untitled No. 5 was later remixed by Tyrone and I to add more edge resulting in the single “A Bitter Pill” was later reworked is included on the “Who Are You?” singles compilation. This is how the other four were expected to develop.

The lyrics and karaoke versions are available for singers to invent their own melody to the backing tracks. Tools in a box you can explore and be creative with. Perhaps that’s what it was all along?

About the Tracks:

Threat - a military beat announces the coming storm - something isn’t right. Folks can feel it in their gut. Guitar samples are triggered in an early attempt to add that industrial-rock element. Reminds me of some stuff on “Glitch” or later “rock version” tracks on “Who Are You?” or the “Afterburner” soundtrack.

Overthrown - a very clubby dance track. The status quo has been toppled, and people are now unsure what to do.

Number Five - as mentioned this track would be developed further as “A Bitter Pill” for the “Who Are You?” album. Here it is a rushing beat, synth arpeggio, and samples. A global virus of fear and uncertainty.

PEBKAC - high synth arp intro, with a good stomping beat. This is the robot’s working song in the story. They are sent to find a cure, while the humans hide from the mysterious threat.

Never Through - straight forward drum and arpeggio track. At this point in the story humanity has survived, yet folks don’t really understand what the threat was, and people forget. They just know they can celebrate. So, the situation has simply gone underground and isn’t really gone, just ignored.

A Bitter Pill [Single Version] – Later included on the “Who Are You?” album, it was an example of how all the tracks on the album would evolve from William’s demos. Time and money limited this happening, but perhaps one day.

Afterburner

“Welcome to the future!”

About the Cover:

Modified photo from the “She Said I Am” video, includes a A.T. license plate, and hyperspace lights to stress the energy of the album.

About the Album:

Originally two different albums, they morphed into a final “hard rock” soundtrack called “Afterburner”. In its final form, it includes some instrumentals of earlier guitar-based tracks such as “We Are Done”, “A Bitter Pill”, and “Sexy Bitch”. The title track does have lyrics and was performed live several times. Best complement was for folks who were outside the club and quote a song lyric as they entered: “Welcome to the future!”

Some of these tracks were created with loop libraries which are now very frowned on so must likely are not worth the legal and distribution hassle anymore so is a largely withdrawn and unfinished album. The more electronic dance tracks like “We Are Failures” were dropped from the project and were planned to be used on an album called “F-11”. But…same issue.

Trivia: The loop-based tracks were finished while riding the TGV between Paris and Frankfurt using a mini Windows laptop (thank you Renee) which had a 12” screen. Sometimes it’s the limitations that focus you.

About the Tracks:

Afterburner - heavy speed rock track. Lyrics recorded but not mixed.

Masses for the Dead - another heavy rock track, a bit slower.

Just Breathe - grove based rock-industrial track. Lyrics were written.

I Would Like - up tempo mosh pit rock-industrial track.

We Are Done [Single Mix Instrumental] - same version as on “Who Are You?” but without the vocals.

A Bitter Pill [Instrumental] - same version as on “Who Are You?” but without the vocals.

Rock Jam Session - simple drum, bass, guitar jam.

Scrape Me Clean - grinding guitars and drum with electric sounding samples.

Taste It - heavy speed rock track.

Shove It - more of a stomping dark dance track with guitars.

Sexy Bitch [Instrumental] - same version as on “Who Are You?” but without the vocals.

Entertainment for the Day

“I was just your entertainment for the day, in every way”

About the Cover:

The graphic implies the “game” of Russian Roulette where a gun with a spinning barrel has one bullet in a chamber and people spin it, then take turns firing it at their head. The unlucky person is shot. Became my view on romantic love in my life, so I bowed out for some time…

About the Album:

Eric and I both were nursing broken hearts at the time, the backing track music is 99% his, with me only contributing original lyrics to two of the songs, covering his lyrics on three, and the rest being instrumentals he’d created in his app MetaSynth. I planned to do a lot more original lyrics on the album but struggled to do more with the material as it made me go darker into depression and anger, vs. helping me purge it. So, like the relationship I was singing about, I moved on and let it be what it was.

I recall doing a set of lyrics and vocals on my iPhone which then vanished, which didn’t help my mood either. Along with Glitch, L, S, & L and the soundtrack albums I thought I’d revisit them when things settled down. Things just never settled down.

Eric eventually reworked many of the tracks for his and Coco Franca’s project PURPLEMAZES and their album “Destiny”.

Integrate Xtra: This one was again to be a collaboration where I focused on lyrics and vocals. The backing music is 98% Eric Wenger. I had saxophone added to “October” and some other bits. Some of the songs he wrote (Somewhere, Away) would be recycled and released on his an Coco Franca’s album “Destiny” under the PURPLEMAZES brand.

In the end I contributed vocals to five tracks. Also, wrote the songs “October” (my mother’s and a sister’s favorite), and “Entertainment for the Day” about a recent bitter breakup with a karaoke singer. I had on one hand no reaction, on the other hand bizarrely intense ones. I’d come home and feel/perceive/imagine a ghost that looked like her standing in the corner of the room, yet she was alive with her new BF. Very strange. Eric had just gone through a breakup, so maybe it was the spirit of the music?

The songs were performed live at the time, but I still don’t like to listen to the tracks. Tho’ I think “Entertainment” was the most heartfelt tracks I’ve ever written. Tyrone and I mixed the first 8 tracks in our style.

About the Tracks:

Entertainment for the Day [A] - Featuring guest vocals by Lee Presson, Tyrone Stanford on the peak moment of the song. Totally could have been covered by “Queen”. Lyrics by me.

Tempest - My vocals, Eric lyrics.

Carousel - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Away - My vocals, Eric lyrics.

Hell - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Somewhere - My vocals, Eric lyrics.

Morning - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

October - My family’s favorite A.T. song. The most romantic since “The Heart” and yet not romantic. The lyric meant to describe a “call of the wild” passion, kind of sounds like something else. Unclear if that was a veiled slight or an oversight on my part. Lyrics by me.

Plastic - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Entertainment for the Day [Reprise] - A Karaoke version in a way.

Generator - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Dark - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Predator - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Where Do We Begin? - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental, retitled by me.

Tensor - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Hell [Reprise] - An Eric MetaSynth instrumental.

Entertainment for the Day [Single Version] – Currently unreleased. Perhaps one day.

PHASE IV

Summary:

Quitting my day job and meeting Tim changed everything. This statement cannot be over emphasized.

The whole history of the band had been about limitations due to finances, talent, drama, etc. Suddenly all that was gone. Health issues remained an issue but networking, collaboration, manifesting ideas into reality were now an ongoing flow rather than fits and starts trashing about. Rough diamonds and rocks everywhere.

Now, things could be as raw improv or polished product as desired. Tim opened that door and I drove through it. He brought professional context and a fellow traveler as my focus increased and his expanded. That lead to other doors opening.

Everything I ever wanted Audio Terrorist to be, was now possible. Partnerships with Ed and eventually Amit expanded the canvas even further, and Steve was there to put on the polish, but I’d have to go through another crucible before that full potential would cement in 2024.

Flash back to 2019, I was driving through the hills on California 280 listening to a CD of “Who Are You?” Which Tim had recently mastered, and it was perfect. Exactly how I thought a A.T. album should sound and be. The ship was arriving in port; we could really begin. My moving to Seattle would have no impact as travel as flight travel to the Bay is regular. We’d have another anchor point to the North with Chris in the South. A West Coast tour plan was begun.

I’d have to finish up work in Paris first, then settle in, connect and launch. Gear was purchased shows were booked, then boom! Covid lockdown for two years. One level everything collapsed and on another within days everyone one had a Zoom account and were hosting streaming shows tied to their Patreon accounts. Then financial disaster hit, then health issues. Momentum went out the window.

My streaming show “Sunday Live” started as a sort of autobiography, and honoring folks who’d been an influence on the band, but I thought that to be limited so started booking other acts. Managing the tech (always issues) and hosting was a nightmare, so tapped Joe Price to join in, provide the human touch and insights. I’d spend a day per episode gathering all the material, sequencing it, announcing it, etc. Most folks never repaid the favor or even said thanks, but a couple like Anne Wichmann have been there in my “artist time of need” for which I’m forever grateful.

Who Are You?

“And you pray that this is the day you’ve been waiting for, the time of your life,

you need to go; down the golden road you’ve been meaning to take.

To the land of the living, where nothing is fake anymore.” - Chris Wirsig

About the Cover:

Starting with this project, I discontinued the practice of the covers having to be original artwork I had created and started using licensed images with my graphic design added. It still took a lot of hours to make a cover but a lot less than starting from scratch. As with Fractured, wanted an image which captured the tension between something polished and something rough and varied. Some of the original philosophy of the band was lost, but one only has so many hours in the world.

About the Album:

I see this as the sequel to “Fractured”. It’s a full “Best of” collection of tracks over time arranged to form a full album of songs with each having it’s own style. Like a photo album or montage. “Resistance” forms the final installment in a trilogy, but more of that later… The track listing evolved overtime and eventually the title track was dropped but still reflected a growing interest to start marketing the band and show a “good face” with a refined “product”.

Chris had released “Boys of Summer” previously under his NO:CARRIER brand, but I found it really worked as an album closer on this release, and I’m forever grateful he let me included it. To ensure it was different, we used the music video version which was unreleased on an album. Side note, I’d sang the vocals with a certain breakup heartbreak gone weird in mind, and when I arrived for the video shoot, the gal looked a lot like her! So, it was very natural but unnerving to shoot. Also, the script paralleled what I’d experienced even tho’ I’d never told anyone involved with the track. A strange set of coincidences.

During the tail end of working with Pixie, we did a couple shows where the Audio Terrorist versions were sung by me with more rock arrangements, and the Cuir Bleu versions would be more electronic with her on lead Vox. This let us be a double bill with the same gear/effort/staff while letting me return to vocals. Rather than do the trading off of songs as Annikah and I had done, we’d approach things more like the David Bowie/Nine Inch Nails shows in the 90’s - morph between the two styles as the set list goes while in the middle doing tracks in the other’s style. These then became the basis for the “rock versions” which were done live and appear on the “Who Are You?” album.

Once all the tracks were selected, arranged as an album with a final listing order, Tim did a great job mastered it. The best sounding Audio Terrorist release to that date, I blasted it in my RX-8 cruising up the 280 freeway thinking, finally here was the professional I’d always wanted.

Inspired by “Your Heroin” I quit my lucrative corporate job and spent a year and a half focusing on being a recording artist, record label, with time to socialize in various communities and attend conferences for West Coast Songwriters, Balanced Breakfast, and CDbaby. Networking about production, promotion, royalties, etc. etc. It lasted until the angel in the garden died and was revealed to be a devil and revenue again became the focus.

The titles on of the tracks are wrong and conflict with earlier releases making it appear as a compilation record, vs. a release of remixes and remakes. Subtitles have been added here and on some distribution platforms for clarity. So, in the end, is it a Compilation album or original album? If you look at Audio Terrorist’s history and at other artists the line between the two can be vague. I see it as a full studio album made up of tracks which were incomplete elsewhere, or finished near it’s release, but it can also be see as a collection of the “single versions” of the tracks. For example, “Dying Dreams” and “Your Heroin” don’t appear anywhere else, and the ultimate goal is collection which flows.

About the Tracks:

Your Heroin [Auralincarnation Single Mix] - After “Boys of Summer” Chris moved to Los Angeles to build a sync license library and start scoring films, television, etc. His new So.Cal. male vocalist sang it for NO:CARRIER and I loved it. It mirrored everything I was experiencing in “Corporate Life” so I turned it into a karaoke track and began performing it live using it’s backing track. When it came to do the album, I thought it best this time the the Audio Terrorist release to have a different arrangement. Enter Raven Alexander aka Auralincarnation. We had a lot of back-and-forth work but the basics came together. Tim reworked it changing out some of the synths. In the end, it had become a different beast. The album has the full-length version, and I did a single edit release as well.

Sexy Bitch [Single Mix] - One of the new “rock version” tracks. I never liked the title/lyric “Stupid Bitch”. Calling someone who is “acting like a ‘b’” seems fair but calling folks ‘stupid’ I’ve always felt below me - becoming like people I never wanted to be like. So, I changed it to “Sexy Bitch”, which a friend later told me only makes it worse. Oh, well. I still feel the first is ‘name calling’ someone who is being manipulative, where the later is a deeper story where people a captured by someone who is abusive, and put up with it due to their good looks.

Dying Dreams [Single Mix] - I took German in High School so had always wanted to do a track in it. My dear friend Ninja helped me brush up on my pronunciation and appears in the opening part of the song. The original bed track by Janne Tamminen can be heard as the “Polar Mix” on the maxi single. Hard to recall how much Tyrone and I changed it. Worked with Gregory Thompson on the final mixes and mastering I believe. I know there was a lot of back and forth, and we discontinued using him. Thus, the remaster is by Tim Leehane.

Pleasure and Pain [Single Mix] - Another attempt to make a “rock version with my vocals” of an earlier track. This established a version for playing live with more energy and me back on lead after Pixie parted ways.

A Bitter Pill [Single Mix] - Originally from the “Hypochondria” e.p. and mastered by Gregory Thompson, this single version was created with Tyrone. He wrote the female vocal section/lyrics and brought in Victoria Sepe, a singer/bartender from ‘Nick’s Lounge’ to sing them. A blend of rock, metal, industrial, and goth sounds with driving drums and synth bass. What began as a part of the Darkwave SciFi album "Hypocondria" as now evolved into a hard-hitting rock influenced single. Originally called "Untitled No.5", the name of a potential cure or curse for humanity, the track now has a more universal theme. Fan Review: "Nice hard-hitting beat with female vocals adding a good dynamic to rock guitars and electro breaks."

Sex Toy [Video Mix] - Yet another “rock version” for playing live with the band. Chris Mahon and Lee Presson were in the lineup at the time. After some gigs, Chris announced he was moving away, so Tyrone and I rushed over to his place with a portable recorder and had him lay down parts on this, Pleasure and Pain, and Sexy Bitch. Whew. Another lineup era over but captured.

October [Single Mix] - Honestly don’t recall how this version differs from the “Entertainment for the Day” album. Maybe the saxophone? Lee Presson did a different mix which appears on the maxi-single of “October”.

The City (Genderfuck) [Lee Presson Mix] - I attempted to add guitar to using loops and made a mess of it. While the arrangement got layed out so someone could reproduce or mix it, Lee found I’d added parts which were in two different keys and had to sort it out in post. To date, he has never spoken about his work with the band, so I’m name dropping here.

Caravan of the Soul [New Vocals] - I was never happy with the vocals for the version on the “Glitch” album. So, when the opportunity came up with Tyrone to do a single version, I jumped at it. We’d been remixing it for live shows starting in 2015, very happy with the result. I suppose with new technology it could be even better, but at some point, you have to say done, and focus on new things.

We Are Done [Single Mix] - Originally a piano based track from the “Wander” album, I rearranged it further added guitars and new more aggressive vocals transforming it into a angry emotional purge. Like “Entertainment for the Day”, it was a hard track to listen to at the time.

Boys of Summer [Video Mix] - this is 100% Chris with me as vocalist [Insert Chris’s Memories here]. Chris had invited me to sing on it and I showed up to the recording session a mess - a bad bout of allergies, a ruptured ear drum from trying to clear my years, freaking out I might lose my hearing, forgetting/confusing the lyrics which even in a better state I found tricky. Somehow the takes were usable, he selected it as a single and asked me to be in the music video for it. Talk about a confidence builder. The video shoot was fun, folks I know got to be extras, and it did great and becoming the most played music video, I’d been involved with until it got blocked by UMG and YouTube. YouTube would just tell us only the Don Henley version was allowed, no covers. When pointed out that the Ataris’ cover was not blocked, they just repeated “no covers of the song were allowed”. Unspoken was, apparently that didn’t apply to Sony’s artists.

Pleasure and Pain Symphony

“Pleasure and pain, pleasure and pain”

About the Cover:

The image is from Tim and I performing at Resonant Frequencies.

About the Album:

We were invited to perform at Resonant Frequencies in Oakland California and this is pure Audio Terrorist. I orchestrated and framed improv with me triggering loops and effects via a PUSH2 + Ableton LIVE, while playing a MIDI Theremin. Tim Leehane then improvised on piano while the team at Resonate Frequencies visually jammed to the music. He was a trouper as he’d never done this kind of thing before. Overall this release fits in with the Theremin performances over the years and jamming with Frank Moore. The result is the most “Eno” thing we’ve done. There is a good video of it on YouTube which captures it very nicely.

After that, I was invited to play the piece at Resident and performed it solo. Given the improv nature of it, and how temperamental a Theremin can be (stopped working at one point), it’s a different take on the piece.

About the Tracks:

Pleasure and Pain Symphony [Live at Resonate Frequencies] - This followed in the improv instrumental tradition side of the band. I programmed events ala John Cage “chance happenings” in Ableton Live and triggered them on the PUSH2 grid, improvised on the Theremin while Tim played his keyboard. The space is fantastic and located at Soundwave studios where both the Lee Presson and Chris Mahon “How Are You?” lineup and earlier “Hybrid” lineup had rehearsed.

Pleasure and Pain Symphony [Live at Resident] - Another performance of the piece but done solo this time at Korey Luna’s electronica event in San Francisco. The Theremin at one point stopped responding then came back to life - as they can do in a room full of people. I prefer the Resonate Frequencies recording, but this one captures that “riding on the edge of disaster” aspect of improv.

The Bitter End Suite

“This bitter pill is the end”

About the Cover:

N/A Unreleased

About the Album:

Like the Pleasure and Pain Symphony, this was intended to be an abstract composition which expanded and improvised on a song in the catalog. In this case “A Bitter Pill”, “It’s the End”, and “The Bitter End”. It never quite got there and is now deleted. The singles moved to later album and the instrumental just exists on YouTube more as a promo for U&I Software applications MetaSynth and ArtMatic.

Maybe as with a lot of the material, we’ll make something more of it in the future.

About the Tracks:

It’s the End [Live at Rock Lotto] - The single version now appears on the “Resistance” album.

The Bitter End [Live at Resident] - The single which now appears on the “Resistance album.

The Bitter Suite [Live at Piqued] - description

Resonator

“Sunshine, can’t fight the future”

About the Cover:

The album touches on my love of steel resonator guitars and they featured on several of the tracks.

About the Album:

“Sunshine (Can’t Fight the Future)” started as a couple of riffs, and slides, I was playing on a guitar at Chris Wirsig’s studio in L.A. It had a dusty windy twang. He captures it, morphed it, and created a final track. The lyrics started to come that day but took time to sort out, and many vocal approaches were made for years but have never been mixed. I then wrote “It’s the End” quickly and it also used a steel jazz guitar, so an album of tracks in that style was forming like a movie in my head. In the end it was decided to leave it as a soundtrack to a desert Sci-Fi movie in my head. Sunshine would go unreleased and It’s the End would go elsewhere. Their instrumentals appear here. Along with the ending track made in MetaSynth.

Alternate Text: I’d recently gone to Los Angelis to work on tracks with Chris Wirsig. I started playing a couple of guitar parts which sounded jangly. Chris captured, manipulated, and began composing around it. I was thinking of all those desert Sci-Fi films but with a touch of Harry Partch. The sun beating down on rusted metal. That sort of thing. Wrote the lyrics for “Sunshine (Can’t Fight the Future” and made several attempts to record the vocals. Melodically it never really worked as an Audio Terrorist track.

When I got back to the Bay Area, I started working the other bed tracks for what I hoped to be a new full album. Using Ableton LIVE and a starting loop library, I blended dusty desert twang guitars with electronica elements.

The full album never ended up with lyrics and vocals and was released as another ‘soundtrack’ album. The instrumental of “Sunshine (Can’t Fight the Future)” is included on it as “A Broken Land”, which was it’s original title. Two other tracks, “The Road Opens Ahead of Us” and “Hope on the Horizon” did get written lyrics and vocals recorded and became the singles “It’s the End” in 2019 and “The Bitter End” in 2020.

The first came together quickly the day it was announced all our opportunities to stop global warming had passed. Humanity had pulled a ‘don’t look up’ and now it was just an inevitable journey across the remaining generations. Things were over, I had an acceptance of the future and turned it into a matter-of-fact statement.

The second was a track created in L.A. I laid out an industrial beat, Chris arranged parts and J.D. added guitars. I knew I wanted to write about the impeachment and embezzlements going on but felt the lyrics to on the point so took to rewriting for a year. Shaping it into something more universal, but the bones of commenting on cronyism remains in it.

The singles for Bitter and End with vocals are planned to be included on the “Resistance” album. Sunshine still isn’t quite working so has been shelved.

About the Tracks:

The Road Opens Ahead - the jangly resonator guitar instrumental which was developed into the “It’s the End” single.

The Desert Sun - a strut, strum, and clap track. Again, the steel resonator guitar.

A Broken Land - what happened my jangly guitar musings made in Chris Wirsig’s studio. He warped them, chopped them, and wrote a whole piece around it. The lyrics for “Sunshine (Can’t Fight the Future)” were written there in the desert. Many vocal recordings exist but have not been mixed.

Shadows of the Day - simple 80’s beat and bass, with plucked jangly resonator guitar.

Beside the Road [Fireside Chat] - an instrumental of Tim Leehane’s reworked version of “It’s the End” for my solo acoustic album.

Of Glass and Dust [Instrumental] - a groovy bass part sets off another round of jangly resonator guitar noodling.

Let’s Rumble - simpler 80’s beat and bass, with plucked jangly resonator guitar. Synths provide a ray of sunshine.

Hope on the Horizon - instrumental of the track which became the single “The Bitter End”. This started with me introducing an industrial beat, and Chris laying down a synth bass line and his buddy JD laying down guitar.

The Road Closes Behind Us - instrumental version of the alternative version of “It’s the End” with different drums.

The Night Sky - alternate slower version of “The Desert Sun”.

The Air We Breathe [Instrumental] - created in MetaSynth as an atmospheric piece. It also appeared on the compilation album MetaSynthia volume 8.

Vampire’s Ball

“Now, do what you are told. Hope you die, before you get old.”

About the Cover:

In recent years I’ve stopped using original images for the covers and turned to licensing artist/photographer images on Shutterstock which match the concept best. Still takes me hours to select, add, position, and adapt the text fonts to the image. After 4-6 hours of that, it is best I turn my attention back to executive producing, file management, project management, editing, mastering, and perhaps actual singing.

About the Album:

A collection of instrumental tracks generated with the soundtrack composing Cinescore AI app (2007). I then curated them into a collection of tracks inspired by a vampire movie which Jean Batt was costume manager on. They slipped our T-Shirt into it and Renfield wears it. So, it is a combination of edited material placed into context. I can think of one Academy Award for best film score where the person’s name on it didn’t play on it at all (the true synth pioneer who did it was never paid). These things happen. I’ve credited everyone. Another inspiration for this kind of release is “Softcore Jukebox” by Ladytron which just collected records they loved - no editing or remixing. Like it, how the metadata works on services like Apple Music and Spotify such releases are now problematic without expensive and complicated contracts.

The tracks were originally intended to be bed tracks for a new album with lyrics. A lyric came to me for “Die Before You Get Old”. Unfortunately, I was driving at the time it surfaced, and by time I pulled over it was gone - never to be remembered. All too common with me. Released a video for instrumental of “Gothic Nights”. This was to promote Eric Wenger’s “vQuartz” app. It was a combination of 3D/PhotoEditor/VideoEditor. Unfortunately, a year later Apple dropped the Mac software platform it ran on (Carbon).

In the end the album was released as a soundtrack for a film which has yet to be made, or perhaps is to be made in the listeners mind as they flow through the track order. Yet, because the opening riff of “DBYGO” is clearly inspired by The Smith’s “How Soon is Now?”, it was instead turned into a cover tune. I worked on this for about a year. Ed Claire came onboard as producer and decided to take the cover into a different direction for the single. This is what appears on the “Resistance” album. The demo appears as a b-side on the maxi-single.

About the Tracks:

Gothic Night - a classic goth-industrial style track.

Mourning the Sun - ambient vocal, strings, wind movie score track.

Die Before You Get Old - goth-rock track with that Johnny Marr touch.

End of the Road - techno track with sound effects.

Heavy Heart - a downtempo dance track which reminds me of the work of Eric Wenger on his solo and collaboration albums including Audio Terrorist’s “Entertainment for the Day”. I keep being surprised to find common threads across the albums over the years with more consistency than I imagined.

Bitter Rivals - a heavy rock track like what’s on the “Afterburner” soundtrack.

When All is Said and Done - atmospheric vocals, keyboards, and big drums.

Over All - another heavy rock track with that loose growl bass sound I love. Too much guitar noodling on this one.

A Dark Room - a reprise of some of the vocal themes played against more industrial beat loops.

Ratchet It Up - yet another heavy rock riff-based track but more rock-industrial like Nine Inch Nails.

Forces of Evil - atmospheric synth drones, strings, percussion, and samples.

Through the Air - a more melodic bass and guitar driven track. Again some Johnny Marr delay’s for the rhythm.

Gothic Night [Reprise] - alternate version with longer dance club kick drum intro.

Sunrise in Eden [Bonus Track] - flute, water sound effects, drones.

Asylum of Mirrors [Bonus Track] - atmospheric drones, water, samples.

Room Full of Tears [Bonus Track] - synth strings, piano.

Raw Jam

“You can feel him coming around”

About the Cover:

Originally to be the “Your Heroin” single cover as the early demo versions were more rock and electro-punk inspired. Once the edited remix became the single, the image worked better for this raw dystopian release.

About the Album:

This live e.p. was the result of Greg Reid (Drums) and Steve Turnidge (Bass) asking me to get together and Jam. I’d met Steve at a music industry mixer, chatted a bit, then he whisked me away to a AES meeting about speaker cabinet design. He is a grounded and mercurial creature. The session felt like I was back jamming with Chechi and Kedar but with a new level it all being dialed in. Very intimidating, and I hoped I was able to step up and deliver my bit.

The result was very 1991 Audio Terrorist in approach and style, so I asked if I could release it as such. Thankfully Greg said “yes”. It’s as pure A.T. as it gets. A friend said it sounded like Patti Smith. We’ve done several other jams, and none of them sounded Audio Terrorist which just reinforced my believe this was channeled through that brand filter.

Alternate Text: 100% improvised live band performance in a kind of late 70’s Art/Punk rock style. A friend said it reminded them of Patti Smith. I went an listened and can see that. The Player’s Lounge gang of Greg Reid and Steve Turnidge were very welcoming and I just dove in their deep end. The resulting live e.p. felt Audio Terrorist and sounded so too. Reminded me of the “Nightporters” sessions with Kedar and Chechi in 1991. Greg agreed to let it go out as such.

We’ve jammed a couple of times since but those have been of a different character and branded by Greg in various ways. Audio Terrorist does many things, but it doesn’t do Comedy. They’ve agreed to be performers on the next all Theremin show ala “Notes from a Bug in the Asylum”. Stay tuned, or discordant!

About the Tracks:

Feel the Rushin’ - up tempo slapping loose bass and drums. Reminds me so much of the “Nightporters” period of the band with Kedar and Chechi. Just slamming improv. I can hear bits of lyrics from other songs creeping in, cutup phrases. It holds up surprisingly well for ad lib.

Watermelon Head - Titled after a bit Chechi used to do at rehearsals in 1991, where he wanted to wear a SNL CBoneheads hat and yell, “I am short, I am fat, I have watermelon head”. A bit of more chaotic exploration…

Johnny’s Got Something - some fun call and response/start and stops and breaks from the guys. Then they just let loose with mid-tempo punk grooving along as Johnny cruises the road in his big car.

Superstar, You Are! - a cool intro riff by Steve launches this one. Love how it stumbles then finds its feet over and over like a late-night wander back from a bar pontificating a jumbled philosophical position outside of bodily concerns.

The Singles

“The City’s like an angel, opening her wings…”

About the Cover:

A photo of me at the time - d. Dressed up yet raw and riddled with “errors”. Kinda how I see the music as imperfect outcomes of artistic acts. It is a~~. A~~ distillation of the years in a single snap shot.

About the Album:

Over the years, Radio Edits and other shortened versions of key tracks were created. The goal is to get to the vocal and storytelling quickly and strip away any exposition. This way if someone like it in it’s concentrated form, it can open the door for exploring the full version and/or remixes elsewhere. Made sense for the 40^th anniversary to compile this into one volume. Some of the edits were simply challenges to see how short like early The Beatles singles the tracks could get, and what would current technology allow.

About the Tracks (Volume 1):

Lurcretia, My Reflection [Radio Edit] – As with “How Soon is Now?” this cover repeats the same verse so it easy to strip down into a bit sized version. From the digital maxi-single.

Black Leather [Radio Edit] – The original had several instrumental and looped sections. These were either removed or shortened in cycles.

How Soon is Now Radio Edit] – The second verse uses the same lyrics, so this one was easy to cut of the first section of the song. With new “stem” ripping tools, separating the music from the pickup notes/lyrics is now easily possible.

Mother (Reconstruction) [Single]– Vocals re-recorded at Tim’s studio and music reworked with Amit, this is my favorite version, and I love the result. As with other work with Amit, the track is now met its full potential.

Tainted Love [Trim Edit] – This track has been on such a long and twisted journey with other versions, attempts, and tweak, tweak, tweak of drums. Ed refers to this as the “Glee Version”.

The Bitter End [Trim Edit] – Another light edit, just enough to streamline. Joe Price said, “chopped and lowered like a kid’s hotrod”.

Boys of Summer [Single Edit] – The original full track on the No:Carrier album “Ghosts of the West Coast”, and the video version on “Who Are You?” lacked the punch to fit in here, so the full track was remastered by Steve, and then I re-edited it to something similar to the video edit. Considered using the “dreamy bridge” instead of the full vocal one, or a blend of the two as an alternative mix but found it to be less “solid”. Chris knows what he is doing. 

Spaces (2.0) [Trim Edit] – A bit off the top and bottom.

Caravan of the Soul [7” Edit] – The full Lenth music from 2010’s “Glitch” album had a re-recorded vocal version appear on 2019’s “Who Are You?” album. From there a single edit was made for the digital release, and an even shorter version edited for a vinyl single. Was tricky to do.

As the Day Breaks [Studio Version] – Originally a live track which had a clip represented on “Night Porters and Dreams”, Time reconstructed it, I reworked the melody and expanded the lyrics creating the full version to current standards.

You Heroin [Radio Edit] – From the digital e.p. maxi-single.

Take a Picture [Rework Edit] – The full reworked version is edited down to just over 3 minutes, the traditional single Lenth.

The City (Genderfuck) [Single Edit] – Another case of focusing the track on the story.

A Bitter Pill [Alternative Single] – The techno version didn’t really fit the 2015 direction of the band, so I came up with a different more “rock drum and guitar” approach, but the original single had been released. Over the years I’ve grown to prefer this one. The mix technically isn’t balanced but loses something when reworked. So, her it is in its bombastic glory.

October [Radio Edit] – Some songs don’t really need two guitar solos, so one was sacrificed. The track is so layered it is hard to edit down so a “jump cut” was required. I think I got away with it…

Stupid Bitch [Antibiotic Orange Remix] – This was an interesting remix for trade project with A-O in exchange with the track which became the music for “Asylum” on 2000’s “Fracture” album. Still thinks it kicks it and captures well the slurred dyslexic two vocal take lyrics weaving in and out of articulation. A sense of a situation which is simple and direct, yet hard to explain.

Sex Toy [Single Edit] – Chopped from the “Hybrid” album version, still has the best stereo panning of any of the singles. Love that left/right bounce.

Beyond the Damage (Reconstruction) [Radio Edit] – Another 90’s track reconstructed and improved on with Amit. In some ways easy to condense due to repeated sections and a long intro but never imaged it could become so compact!

Branded [Radio Edit] – The Re:Vision version was restructured as a Verse/Chorus format vs the mood track with poem in the middle of the original. Then trimmed down for this.

We Fall from the Sky [Rock Single Edit] – trimmed this one down a tad. Hot off the press from Ed, though’ he’s doing the “electronic mix” as I type this, think the rock one fits better here.

Pleasure and Pain [Rock Single Edit] – The “Hybrid” album version is basic and mixed poorly but has become the most streamed track in the catalog. It has an atmosphere but doesn’t come across as a “single”. So, the rock version for the shows in 2015 is edited down here for the single mix. Fits the set better.

Re:Vision 1984-2024

“Mother would you say, I didn’t quite turn out the way you planned?”

About the Cover:

The original cover of a circuitboard was an attempt to convey all the technology involved in this process, reworking electronics, and the title being stamped onto it. This was then changed to archive photos to convey the idea of dipping into the past and touching it up. Also, releasing something which hasn’t been seen before touched with nostalgia.

About the Album:

Why a rarities album?

As the “Resonator” album grew from what was to be a simple prefab cover tunes album into something original with new music by 3 producers, multiple arrangers (including me), and it’s release date moved out, it was clear it was turning into a top shelf album, not a quick n’ dirty one.

At the same time I was reviewing the catalog and found that there were remixes which had never been properly released before, or tracks which needed minor tweaks to be called complete. So, how about a rarities album spanning the 40 years instead?

Should be quick to do, and ensure a release is ready for the anniversary. Easy peasy. By time I finished selecting the track list, it had grown into a two volume set. Also, I thought, with new technology I could make corrections to some old tracks which was just not possible before. In cases were the track was originally created on the multi-track cassettes or reel-to-reel tapes long tossed out to save space, they could now be reworked.

Rip, Split, Extract, Remix, Remaster, done.

I started simple, such a taking a live instrumental recording from 1988 and removing the bit where someone started talking over the performance. Then I began getting new ideas and decided to rework or rearrange some of the material. Additional tracks I engaged Tim on and he reconstructed tracks adding new parts.

Certain tracks got new vocals recorded and Amit was brought onboard to mix and take the material to a whole new level. If you are going to do something, why not do it right and make it better than ever before? Revise, Remake, Remix, the original material. What has become an Audio Terrorist tradition.

We scheduled a weeklong vocal recording week at Tim’s studio. Then I few down from Seattle to San Jose and we could crank through multiple takes on multiple songs, creating a backlog of vocals for Amit to mix. Overall it worked out well and was very productive.

Update: As work on Resistance took unexpected turns, with whole tracks being recomposed with new producers, sonic issues investigated with mix engineers, etc. and the 40th Anniversary rapidly coming, I discovered a bunch of unfinished and alternative mixes hadn’t been released on an album.

Why not put them out? Then each track’s issues would become apparent. I’d reently been listening to the 2024 remix of The Beatles’ “Red and Blue” albums. It wouldn’t take much work to give the early tracks the same treatment. Use stem ripping technology to pull apart masters and rebalance a drum here, remove a stray vocal there? Do little fixes, yes?

I’d be able to resolve things which had annoyed me since the 80’s such as Mike’s uncle Lawrence talking during the live performance of “Iron Wind” in 1988. Use RIPX on the master, mute vocal audio content, and gone! A bit of xtra mixing and viola! Started with this and another early piece “Funeral Chant”. Then moved onto the live performance of Vangelis’ “Hymne”. Rip n remix.

But like many projects that start simple, the opportunity to ‘make better’ creeps in and before you know it, I’d asked Tim to recreate some early 90’s tracks such as “Mother”, “Beyond the Damage”, and “As the Day Breaks” - this last one had never been fully recorded with just a clip from a jam session with Kedar and Chechi in 1992. Suddenly a studio version existed and needed the full melody to be restored/recreated, plus additional lyrics. So, I slaved over the keyboard (piano and computer) to get that right, re-record vocals, and get back to Tim for mixing.

A lot of the time it’s easy to start focusing on the results and not the journey. This gave me the opportunity to work in detail on composing the melody, something I’ve rarely had the focus or time to note by note.

About the Tracks (Volume 1):

Bomber Recall [Remastered] - the first Audio Terrorist track really. George called me and his house phone was having issues, I quickly recognized the value of recording his improv performance via my mother’s answering machine which had a manual record switch.

Mother [2024 Remake] - engaged with Tim during our weekly calls to recreate this track as a clean contemporary recording and then redid the vocals at his studio in San Jose on the U87 with a Universal Audio Apollo preamp.

A Bitter Pill [Howl Remix] - I wanted much heavier rock drums on this track. Added them but felt the double time electronic drums were better for the single, so this was shelved. I mixed the drums too hot for some playback environments, so had to rebalance it for this release.

Branded [2024 Remake] - originally was just going to use an unreleased studio recording where Pyke added guitar to the 1998 remix and Annikah did some new vocals. Really liked it’s energy and had totally forgotten this recording existed.

wanted to add different drums but then got the idea of breaking up the poem into two verses with instrumental choruses. Immediately the track came alive and was exciting in a whole new way. Asked Tim to add new guitar replacing Pyke’s. Then listened in the car for months.

Used RipX to extract Annikah’s original vocals and multiple parts from the version. I liked their fragility but it became apparent some words were unintelligible.

After discussions with Amit, decided to double her vocal’s so he could blend in my articulation on words where the ends were clipped. Also add what Tyrone calls my “Mr. Whispers” plus an octive below. After a couple of rounds of tweaks, it was done.

Sex Toy [Auralincarnation Remix 3] - remixed a number of times/variations by Raven Alexander. When I am too familiar with and stuck on an arrangement, I can hand things to him to break the mold, then can either take that another direction, or as in this case listen to the various submissions and select one to be final.

It’s the End [Military Mix] - drum replacement experiment. An emphasis on the half time snare drum creates the illusion of a tempo change slowing down the track, when everything else is actually the same. Makes the song more reflective. If the single version is an announcement of the end of the world, this is it’s funeral march.

Slip Away (Remix) [Guitar Mix]] - again an attempt to add guitar to tracks from “Hybrid”. Tim did a great job of rockin’ it up.

Black Leather [Video Mix] - Yup, yet another case of “Hybrid” plus guitar. In this case Tyrone is the guitarist. A very different version to the released single and alternate single which saw funk elements added.

Beyond the Damage [DetMach Reconstruction Mix] - Michael Castellanos did two remixes for the live show at The Maritime Hall fetish themed party in San Francisco, but I never got a multitrack of them. So asked mister Lee Presson to reconstruct the track. He hacked up the audio and laid that over new MIDI tracks to control synths similar to the original, but it never got a final mix. I passed it along to Tim to see what he could do with it. He’s like you have 3 different songs in here, so it was passed along to Amit. His work on “Lucretia, My Reflection” gave me hope he’d sort out the rest.

Your Heroin [Hybrid Folk Mix] - The first attempt to make an acoustic version for my solo album ended up a kind of hybrid electo-acoustic. Kinda works, kinda doesn’t.

Boy’s of Summer [Live] - recorded on the Sonic Subversion show on Radio Valencia in San Francisco. This was the last live performance with Chris Wirsig before he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in sync licensing (TV and Movie soundtracks).

Iron Wind (Live) [New Mix] - rather than sit around and talk fandom, I encouraged the crew to go on a walk with the intent of recording the results for release. The trusty cassette in hand we set off into the night. Coming across a rail yard one of us picked up a stick, noticed the wheels off the train acted like bells. I thought it was me instigating a moment of creativity, and it was a metal piece of scrap so it had a sharper attack. It’s possible I did this to plant a mental seed in others to initiate discovery. During the improv performance, one of the gang started making a Television reference. This was annoying as the whole point of the art moment was to get away from popular media. With the help of RipX I was able to extract the offending comment, and remix the track in Apple’s Logic X.

We Fall from the Sky (DM Mix) – An alternate mix Ed Claire whipped up.

About the Tracks (Volume 2):

Nixon on the Beach [Remastered] - another of George’s improv phone calls on his broken landline, which I recorded and included on early releases.

As the Day Breaks [Full Version] - ever since that ad lib was recorded in 1991, I felt the track had something. Others too as this is what got me the gig singing with “Oceansize”. I asked Tim for a base arrangement, which he performed it in a matter of minutes. Then I added drums and more synths, slaved over rewriting the lyric and melody for months, and finally recorded vocals at Leehane Studios. Handed everything off to Amit for mixing.

Take a Picture (Remix) [ReVision Version] - a legacy of the “Leather, Sex, and Love” project of replacing Pixie vocals with my own, this project finally gave me the opportunity to complete a polished version. This time with Amit as co-producer. A friend texted me, “I’m not into Audio Terrorist music, but this track really has something.” Will take the complement quite proudly. Another track with fresh vocals recorded by Tim at Leehane studios.

Beyond the Damage [Shatter Version Remake] - I was working with Tim to finish and mix the DetMach remake of the 1998 Mike Castilanos version, but he said it was a mash up of too many things to figure out what to do with it, but he was inspired to produce a new cleaned up, and expanded remake of my 1994 minimalist industrial version.

Fame [Studio Version] - originally considered for the “Resonator” covers album, this studio remake of the duet performance at Apple Computer fit better here. The idea originally was to simply make a policed version, but then decided it should be a new music arrangement. Raven Alexander was tasked with taking it into a different direction, then I took those parts picked and choose which to include and asked Tim to come up with guitar parts for it. Also, asked my voice coach Nancy Lake to sing the female parts. Somewhere along the line the tempo got changed to 104.999 in the key of F# tuned up 1/4. Couldn’t figure out how to fix it, so Tim just tuned his guitar up and I laid down vocals. Then realized Nancy would need it in an actual proper key to do her part, so the task went to Amit to sort it all out. In the end it got done but something was lost along the way.

The City [DetMach Remix] - more work by mister Lee Presson. Mainly as a new bed track for live shows he played in 2015.

Phoenix III - an instrumental piece originally planned to be on a follow up to the “Hybrid” album. Lyrics were written about losing a friend (we almost lost Tyrone due to a heart attack) a few years later. While it was performed a couple of times, an attempt at vocal recordings were abandoned.

~~Spaces/I’m Your Lover~~ - the music I composed, and Annikah wrote “Spaces” for, had a bunch of attempts during recording sessions which never worked out. A couple of session guitarists tried (see “Fracture” for the released live version) but was finished as “I’m Your Lover” for the “Hybrid” album. What would happen if the later audio was married with the earlier vocals and merged with the later lyrics. Turns out something quite creepy and disturbing. I’m sure Annikah would approve.

Spaces [Single Version] – Amit and I agreed the old recordings just didn’t hold up so reworked the track into a whole other version with new vocals, etc. Holds up way better.

Stupid Bitch [Annikah Version] - we started trading off who sang what at live shows. This unfinished demo captured in the studio her interpretation of the song. Don’t believe it’s ever been released before.

Funeral Chant [Remastered] - a sonic experiment with a synth, don’t recall which, plus vocalizing captured live at Mike’s Garage, then played backwards and re-recorded.

Hymne [Remixed] - recorded in one take on the Motif ES, this stereo track never really found a home. A cover by the composer Vangelis, it combined the idea of a instrumental cover track like early on but with the rocked-up guitars of the new arrangements that would follow.

Sex Toy (Duet) – Remixed copy of the duet version with both Pixie and I singing. Never felt done so handed to Amit to remix, and Steve to remaster.

Resistance

“Waiting here, this is my decompression”

About the Cover:

Mill Valley Yoga Wives and their Doctor/Lawyer, soon to be divorced if it wasn’t for the money, husbands are into surprising types of pop music. Even the artsy kind.

About the Album:

It was time to do a new full song-based album again, but I kept hitting resistance in my mind and body. What was the point in making and releasing music with the ever-decreasing chance a track would actually be heard?

I’d spent two years consulting in the music industry and swimming in the constant steeple chase of how to manage the financials and marketing, app after app, trick after trick. It made me lose all interest in music for the first time I’m my life.

Could I find my way back, did I even wanted to? The fever had broken, and it was easier and cheaper to walk away from the constant battles of technology and legal landscape. A full-time low paying job just to keep up.

Hosting Balanced Breakfast sessions in Seattle had maybe 3 good sessions before Covid locked everything done, and the west coast tour had to be cancelled. Was I just licking my wounds? Perhaps, it was time to do, like many artists do, a covers album. Don’t have to write. Just generate backing tracks and focus on just vocals-that would be work enough!

After a couple of years running a weekly show promoting artists, many of which never repaid the favor, it was time to get back on the horse and focus on myself. Yet there were mental blocks and physical issues standing in the way, thus the title of the album.

The original idea was to use a discontinued software application to autogenerate backing tracks which I’d arrange cover tunes to. Thus lowering the barriers to getting back into the groove. One track which was used on Vampire’s Ball already contained a guitar loop which sounded like “How Soon is Now?” by The Smiths. Another track could be repurposed as “I’ll Melt with You” by Modern English.

We’d done a straight up cover of “Lucretia, My Reflection” by Sisters of Mercy live for a couple of years. What would an original Audio Terrorist version sound like? Amit Amran stepped in a producer, arranger, and musician so we got to find out. I sketched out the concepts of the arrangement blending rock with electronica, then adding an acoustic guitar at the end. It was his first journey into the genre and did a great job.

There were challenges with the vocal track tho’ and this would impact the single timeline, the album timeline, and the release of the remix. It all comes back to acid reflux and a pre-effected vocal mic chain. When I arrived at Amit’s to do the vocals my voice cut out.

This vocal problem has been the single greatest delay in me releasing tracks for the past 5+ years. It happened live a few times, and increasingly was a regular occurrence which would make my voice unpredictable. Once initiated it could take 10 days to recover. I’ve now had over a year of speech therapy (they found issues), medical doctors (they found nothing serious, whew!), and a return to singing lessons (I’d missed Nancy). But it was frustrating even with all the attention and progress in 5 min the rug could get pulled out from under me for days.

The situation was multiple issues ending with a big result: Acid Reflux, Mouth Breathing, Speech Habits, Tongue Mobility, Larynx Rising, plus Jaw/Neck/Shoulder tension. The good news is as of November 2014, I take Reflux Gourmet and that is doing amazing. Working to reduce night eating. Also, getting myofascial release massage release to the mouth and neck muscles. Keep asking questions, looking for solutions and never give up hope!

Unfortunately, the vocals for Lucretia were done in 2023 and as I mentioned my voice had totally cut out. We tried takes standing, and no dice. So, I sat chin down so I could force the vocal folds to close and the larynx to stay down. This way we could get something. To his credit Amit was able to edit the takes into something usable.

Then I noticed somewhere along the line, how I did the vocal, how it was recorded, and how it was mixed lead to an issue which irritated my hears. Worse yet only some people could hear it. After all the years doing music, going to clubs, etc. my hearing isn’t the best anymore. Oddly this has improved my ability to listen and find issues in audio. It kinda removes a mask layer, and what is there can’t be ignored.

With the voice increasingly uncooperative, I threw myself into months of EQ work find a solution. After hours and hours of research, tweeking in the studio, listening in different environments, consulting with Tim and Anne Wichmann (she could hear it too), I was able to remove it, but couldn’t describe what it was or how other’s could. It burned months of the timeline.

The good news is in the end I was able to work with Amit, and Chris who was doing the remix, to tame the irritating beast. We’ve gotten beyond it and are now cranking out a track a month.

As mentioned earlier, the originals “It’s the End” and “The Bitter End” were already done and released as singles, so that’s two in the can. Another track started with Resonator, “Sunshine (Can’t Fight the Future)” seemed close after long last - how wrong I was on that one. More vocal takes more ideas (a duet perhaps), but nada. Shelved.

Update: Work on “Resistance” has gotten bogged down in remakes, rewrites, writer’s block, not to mention everything Ed has suffered working on “We Fall…” (Ironic for what started as a project of quick cover tunes). So did not make it for the 40^th Anniversary. Delayed til 2026 is my guess. I was digging through unreleased tracks and playing with new tools and realizing there was enough material for a different release.

Thus the “Re:Vision” album was born. Then I started tweaking on that and it expanded to two volumes, then that got bogged down in additional production and opportunities to have dreams realized. Not a bad reason. So, I was thinking I’ve got some Radio Edits lying about, I wonder what a collection of those would look like, and challenged myself to edit more, see what would need remastering, etc. so that got released instead. Which means “Re:Vision” had to change and go after, leaving time for “Resistance” to move out and have an expanded track list using move pieces scheduled to be developed with Ed. So “The Singles” became the focus – which makes more sense as an anniversary release.

So, “The Singles”, “Re:Vision”, and “Resistance” will be the new release order. Toss in single re-releases and new maxi-singles and the schedule will be full through 2026. I need to do new vocals for “I’ll Melt with You”, and “Decompression” – once I rewrite the lyrics. The quick wrap up before finishing the acoustic album has become an extended remix. Then again, the adventure, social and creative engagements are leading to the best releases ever, so I shouldn’t complain.

About the Tracks:

Lucretia, My Reflection - We’d added this cover tune by “Sisters of Mercy” to live set around 2018. It was effectively a karaoke backing track with live instruments played on top, in many cases doubling parts. The song has a great groove, and a good vocal for the end of a set - fairly in my pocket and easy to sing.

Should be super easy to lay down a cover, but as usual my desire to be conceptual, let collaborators take things in new directions, incorporate this idea or another, and have vocal issues made this track take months and months of listening, testing, and conversations to complete and release.

Let me explain. Amit had never done an electronica-rock piece before. So, this was all new, and yet from his own skills and hours of me babbling about the “vision” for it, came up with a great arrangement. It nailed that style, added a Euro-Beat flavor similar to Janne’s on “Dying Dreams” (or was that me?) which was uniquely different from the original version.

After some back and forth with the arrangement, it was time to do the vocals. I’d been having bouts of “sudden laryngitis” for years, some impacting shows, but I thought I could make it work, and by time I arrived at Amit’s my voice was gone. He encouraged me to have tea and still try (Nancy has since proved him right) but no dice. The folds were barely closing. I found I could tuck my chin and get more control of them, so eventually I was sitting down, chin tucked, with the mic below me, and we got something.

Not as traumatic as what happened with “Boys of Summer” but def second place. In the end Amit was able to edit a useful vocal at it. All was good until… a sonic nails on chalkboard was heard in mixes. I’m not particular about much, but when I am, I’m a pit bull with lockjaw on a bone. It took almost 6 months to figure out what was going on and put a fix in place for this version and Chris Wirsig’s orchestral remix. I lost sleep and some hair but eventually it got 99% resolved.

The Bitter End - One of two tracks created with Chris Wirsig in his Los Angeles studio fall 2019. I’d flown down from Seattle to visit. The lyrics were written during one of the impeachment sessions, but after a few re-writes over the coming year were expanded to paint a picture of political corruption in general and the formation of dynastic power.

Tainted Love - Chris created the original backing tracks in 2015/6 for live shows with No:Carrier. Tyrone and I recorded some vocals using a “implied melody” method, but the track was rejected. Decided to alter it and finish it as a full Audio Terrorist track around 2020 but Chris also got interested as well. He took it in one direction, completed it as a Chris Wirsig+Audio Terrorist version in 2023, while we continued to develop it along the original lines. A couple of different drum versions were created and released. This is the drum kit one (vs. the minimal beat or the original).

How Soon Is Now? - Originally started with the music from “Vampire’s Ball”. Ed Clare re-envisioned it as a slow burner. This time we intentionally avoided the iconic guitar part for focus on covering the song (lyric and melody) vs. the arrangement. Makes it a uniquely Audio Terrorist arrangement.

Being Boiled - Selected for inclusion on the album as we’d added it to the live set in 2018 and one of the goals of the album was to do studio versions of anything done live. I created a couple of demos but felt I was to close to the original so handed it to Raven to take it in a new direction, then to Tim to add guitars, then to Amit to mix.

We Fall from the Sky - The most truly “goth” track Audio Terrorist has ever produced. It started with Ed Claire the concept for it evolved over time from being about race cars to space vampires or sky demons who convert people, finally into a sort of romance where the male vampire turns a female into a vampire to find her beastly desires a match for his own, or even greater. I had writer’s block on final lyrics for 6 months, then got Wednesday Ireland to do guest vocals, then Ed got busy, then he wanted to recreate on analog equipment, did so but lost a power supply, just to get it done he recreated it a third time for a flood to enter the house and fry the computer, then recreated it and Tim sang a new harmony, but we couldn’t find the Wednesday’s original vocal recordings, etc. As I type that all has been sorted out and is in final edit and mixing. At least a two-year journey…

Decompression - Tim created the backing track during one of our vocal recording sessions. I described what I was looking for and before I knew it, it existed. He and Ed are like that. As with “The Bitter End” I then got writer’s block and have been hacking away at them, or avoiding them, for months.

It’s the End - A post-punk simple beat with jangly resonator guitar. Started in 2018 when I saw the United Nations report that attempts started in the 1960’s to stop global warming and save humanity had failed and we’d gone past the point of no return. On the other hand for political and financial reasons people were still claiming denial. It’s like a post card sent once you “toss in the towel”. It is what it is.

Rise of the Machines [Instrumental] - The world of humanity has come to an end. We had the opportunity to save ourselves, but preferred to live in denial, and our stories. Long live our children which like gods we created. Ones who may prove more successful and having a long-term story, yet as of now would stop running in a matter of days without us. A grinding industrial track generated by slowing down “The Bitter End” into a mechanical slog.

I’ll Melt with You - As with “How Soon is Now?”, another goth-industrial generated backing track to do a cover against, got replaced by something more original by Ed and I. Doesn’t exist as I’m writing this, but soon, soon… Update: He’s pitching we drop the Goth Industrial approach for something more like The Cure. I’ve been handed the track with AI Vocals to practice to. Half-tempted to leave that on and say the machines took over. They are singing to themselves. Then again, it isn’t always about the result, but the journey, the connections with people.

Sunrise on a Desolate World (The Air We Breathe) [Instrumental] - Will the machines continue to grind the world into dust, or will nature consume them too and heal as it has done before?

STUDIOS

1984 - 1986 : The Cassette Recorder

Growing up in a working-class family where allowance wasn’t a thing meant making do with what you had and begging for a stereo or cassette recorder for Christmas. I’d commonly find streams of tape blowing in the wind like spider webs, gather them up, edit with scissors and scotch tape, and listen back. I’d also record television episodes like Battlestar Galactica for listening to later. Eventually I’d record friends playing music, conversations, manipulated sounds, etc.

I could then compile these onto other cassettes; thus Audio Terrorist was born. While most of my vocals were formal choral works, jazz standards, and later show tunes, sometimes an experimental piece would be introduced with asymmetrical rhythm, sustained glides up and down the frequencies (not just notes!) Which opened ideas and experimentation, meditations on what was possible vs. playing in a band or “classical” works. This provided a creative outlet with friends to make something original.

It had an audio out jack wired to speakers made with cones pulled from old radios then glued into cardboard boxes, decorated and hung on the wall with push tacks. Unplug he speakers and it was portable. A piano my mother went into debt to get me, plus record/cassette/8-track cartridge/radio unit. Scissors, scotch tape, screwdriver, and pencil. Various smaller cassette player/recorders which were smaller would come in time.

Eventually the cassette became a Tascam PortaStudio One 4 track cassette recorder, and Casio SK-1 with a built-in sampler at Mike Jenning’s Garage space. A few early pieces were recorded there.

1987 - 1988 : The Closet Studio and the Ground Zero Studio

I had entered University as a Psychology major with a Choral Music minor. I’d been in school choirs since 4th grade, a tap dancer sometime after that. In high school this expanded to Jazz Choir and musical theater, so by undergrad studies I was ready to add recording studio projection to the list. Already having an in with the Music department, I enrolled in a 101 class which turned out to be in a space we students called “The Closet”. A real mixing board! 1/2 Inch (?) tape, 4 track reel to reel, and Juno 8 Synth. Für Elise was created here. Had to do a semester in there before you were able to go to “The Big Studio”.

The Macintosh SE Dan Wyman told me to buy, and my mother co-signed for and later upgraded by Mike to an SE30, with Master Tracks Pro. A Casio CZ-101, Ensoniq Mirage DSK sampler keyboard, and a modem for getting online - thanks to Kedar Roy. This Ground Zero studio would serve me for 1988-1994.

1989 - 1991 : The Big Studio

The Big Studio - the Dan Wyman Studio. Macintosh SE with MIDI to a EMU sampler, Yamaha DX-7 (never liked it’s sound), Roland D-50 synth. Spring reverb you could rap your knuckle on for added effect. Alesis ? 16 track 1 inch tape, with a SYMPTE module for slaving a video player/recorder. Big matrix mixing board from the band Heart.

The Electro-Acoustic Studio - the Allan Strange Studio. Macintosh SE with MIDI. Buchla 100 Modular which included a touch sensitive metal keyboard and a vocoder.

Lessons with Dan Wyman and the electo-acoustic studio with Allen Strange continued. Creative things ensued and Dan gave approving nods to my wildest submissions. I felt creatively validated for the first time in my life.

Allen didn’t care for my improv experimenting and its results. He wanted deeper theoretical work, something he’d never seen before, not just unusual ways of working or communicating. I recall speaking to him in a ~~hallway~~hallway, and he turned to my girlfriend Janet and asked what I was talking about. She politely translated. In another instance, he asked if I wanted to put a piece of mine in a recital. I did but was slow to respond (it is slower than average at times), so he said “no” for me and excluded me. I was never asked again by him or his acolytes.

But I got my revenge which felt good. When exploring what I’d do for grad school he dismissed me as having no musical skills and asked, “what was that chord just played down the hall?” I quickly replied, “F flat 7th”, he was speechless because he knew I was right, and it put stick into his mental image of me. I got up and left never speaking to him again. I enrolled in the first Multimedia graduate program in the USA. It would change my life.

I was also diagnosed with visual and auditory dyslexia as well as ADHD, to no one’s surprise. The Americans with Disabilities act had been passed and I was at a State University which had to comply, I had doors opened to treatment using specialized computer programs, alternative studying practices and adjusted testing options. This would also change my life.

1990 - 1992 : The Hi8 Video Suite

Let’s make a movie! Various edits of “The Last Mechanic” have been made using Audio Terrorist music as its soundtrack, and two music videos were edited from it: “Beyond the Damage [Shatter Version]”, and “Kicking the Dog”. I think the second works the best.

I was working at a newspaper to pay for University, and one day a couple years into it, I saw a door I hadn’t noticed before an opened it. A whole massive multi-level warehouse appeared out of nowhere. In it stood an abandoned massive printing press. Nothing was locked or secured. I got permission to bring in actors, and film in it. No one care or were concerned. But it would be deconstructed in a month. There is footage of the whole room empty somewhere once that was done. It was to be the original ending to the film.

Originally the movie was going to be based on Ray Bradbury’s “Dial 00” which I’d seen. You used to be able to check out a projector and watch reels of film the library had in its collection. The idea was to reframe the film with a night club going gal who was into electronics and the Artificial Intelligence in the phone lines would contact her. Her boyfriend would think she was crazy.

There was to be a second film about a car mechanic in the future when working with oil-based machines was illegal. My father owned an auto repair shop and knew folks at scrap yards to getting permission to video and have actors on site would be easy to get. At some point I realized they were the same movie and merged the stories. The phone A.I. was dropped. She just got a bad feeling from a dream and when the boyfriend didn’t show up to go to the club, she went to the factory. Which all looks cool, but her final line staring into the wires and saying, “It’s You!” no longer had its original meaning. Years later additional footage was shot when I worked at Apple. Provided a “control center” for the eco-police. Folks happened to be in it. Getting video shot was rare and expensive back then. Editing too. The technology would have to wait until 2000 to get a decent edit done of the footage.

Many audio masters were backed up to Hi8 MultiAudio format, and when that machine died were lost. This is something hard to appreciate today with so many standard formats.

1992 - 1993 : The Cassette Recorder II

Let’s form and live band with musicians who rehearse weekly! Firmly seated in Grad school with financial aid available to me at last, it was time to move out of the studio and play live. Kedar and I had met earlier in one of Dan Wyman’s classes, composed “End Theory” together, and he recorded several other tracks too. Loved that he played fretless bass like Mick Karn. Chris Stroth’s wife at the time recommended a drummer (then proceeded to interrupt every rehearsal Chris attended, with a “when are you coming home?” Even tho’ we practiced late Sunday mornings. Drama. Originally I alternated playing riffs on a Mirage sampler keyboard and sang. When Chris could join he played arpeggios, and two of which became tracks: “Night People” and “Mother”. The lyrics and most practices were initially all improv. I’d record them, then go home and recompile bits into songs, make everyone copies, rinse and repeat.

1993 - Present : Enter the Theremin

By the time of my masters thesis, I’d dumped focus on educational CD-ROMs and website building projects (clandestine floppy disc swapping of code a night clubs) for being a “a true artist” creating performance spaces, sound collage, provocative 3D art. This where Mike Jennings introduces me the Bryce software beta which opened doors, sooner, later, and again much later.

The thesis could either be purely written or a document gallery show with a write up. I chose the latter. The idea was to incorporate all the philosophy and sex and kink studies encouraged by Barbara DeGenevieve with interactive technology, but it kept being just a bunch of “pieces” in a gallery room, and I couldn’t afford my design to be naked in a plexiglass box with a brainwave to MIDI reader on. Folks would reach in and the audio and video would modify as a result. I got to test out the brainwave gear and did a mini project with it, it was on loan. Time was short, then I realized, simplify the whole thing into a symbolic form where visitors move from the safety of a fleshy sphere towards a wall of real barbed wire who’s audio pitch would go up when approached. I had subscribed to an electronic music fanzine and it had a circuit I could build for under $100, find parts at Radio Shack, and it was a kind of Theremin. I loved Sci-Fi growing up so I’d heard of it and the alignment felt right.

Suffice to say my low tech design squeaked past the cultural censors, and the masters was signed by my mentors Barbara, and Dan. Even Joel Slayton, who did not care for me, signed and even admitted “I’ve never understood a word he said, but he achieved something here.”

I then invited a couple I knew to perform and domination scene in the room and filmed it. That would seal the deal with Barbara.

Robert Jasman would call me one weekend and ask “do you still have your Theremin?” I replied, “yes” and was asked to come to a studio to play on a track called “Plan 9 from Las Vegas” for a band Marc Moreland of ‘Wall of Voodoo’ fame had started with folks we worked with at Apple Computer. I came in and played to the track and they said “no, we want aliens and UFOs”, so I flopped my arms around wildly and touched the pitch antenna to make it squeal. Exactly what they were looking for.

1994 - 1995 : The Barn Studio and Compound Studio

A decision was made to move in with Mike Jennings. We’d create a multimedia house. I had my settlement from car injury which would effect me the rest of my life, time to buy some gear. He could get discounted prices, so an 8 track ADAT for recording, a 2 Track DAT for master tapes, a couple of Lexicon LXP (1/5) boxes for effects, Mackie mixer, and a lot of cables. I still had the Ensoniq Mirage DMS-1sampler keyboard (HD Floppy) and my 1988 Mac SE Mike had upgraded to an SE30 - this would be the studio brain until 2000.

Also the Boss DR-660, Korg 01/R synth, ESI-32 sampler with 1 Gigabyte Jazz drive, , Longwave audio to MIDI converter, Longwave Elysian and Pocket Theremins, Moog Etherwave Theremin with Audio to MIDI expansion, PAIA Theremin, and 88 key Keyboard controller. Guitar amp. Which was later accidentally sold by Guitar Center way under value. Don’t let others manage your gear. All setup in Barn/Shed in the back yard. What could go wrong?

Unfortunately, between my social activities, work, and choices in girlfriends, plus his parenting duties and ex-wife’s dramas, it meant very little collaboration happened there. Just five tracks by me on the album done over a few years. Two others were recorded at the nearby Compound Studios in Campbell: a re-recorded version of Mike’s backing track for Branded with keyboards played by Robert Jasman and electronic drums by Michael Blakley, plus a studio version of “Night People” again with keyboards played by Robert Jasman

The Compound was Full scale studio with audio and video production suites. Big mixing board, 24 track reel to reel, almost none of the gear really worked well. It was more of vanity studio for a hippy dude with dreams and a chip on his shoulder. The place was successful as a rehearsal space.

1996 - Present : Enter Eric Wenger

Expanding the Bryce Tarot Aces (thank you for the prints Apple) and meeting Eric Wenger creator of MetaSynth meant It’s become one of the DAW studios I create in.

1998 - 2004 : Asylum Arts Studio

At Ford Street Studios, essentially the same as the barn but over time with updated computers. Including the last “true Mac” the 9600. Finally let the SE30 and Master Tracks Pro go. Lasted over decade. Added a couple guitars, Windows laptop with ACID Pro, Fender Keyboard 200 stereo amp, a turntable, and a ton of ACID sample libraries - thanks to Pyke!

Annikah and I had fled San Jose in 1988 for where I was always told I belonged, Oakland. How very very true that turned out to be. It is a very real, diverse, hidden, and adventurous place with the best food in the world. Some of the fondest memories of my life are tied to that city and the surrounding Emeryville, and Berkeley. Artists can be artists there, or at least they used to be. It was what San Francisco had in the 60s/70s/80s before Big Tech bought it up and closed the neighborhoods and art communities.

The artist warehouse culture was communal. Everyone was a creator and there was little popular media fandom evident, even the “alternative” popular media was a side conversation or an introduction to someone, not the main topic as happened in the South Bay, where even alternative people were mainly consumers not creators.

Barbara DeGenevieve had lived in one I thought it was better to be a “big fish in a small pond” bringing what was happening in the current art world to the South Bay, vs. being one of thousands of artists already living it in Oakland. There was some truth to this but, standing solo against a culture is a different experience, than living in its warm embrace. The growth opportunities are spent burning energy that amounts to a “cool party” vs. a refined work.

The HPD-15 was added to the lineup. The idea was that it could be play at the shows, Annikah would sing more, and we’d trade off managing backing tracks on the laptop - we no longer need the haul the ADAT, Samplers, Synths, and a rack of effects around!

This was augmented by trips to Pyramind and Expressions ProTools based recording schools. We went there for the extra hands, access to the expensive U87, and a number of high-end preamps. Attempts at “Spaces” with Annikah occurred at both, the transition from Annikah to Pixie happened at Pyramind. Tyrone studied at Expressions during our period of producing tracks. Got to leverage some nice preamps which lead to finally purchasing one.

2004 - 2007 : The Domestic Studio

Pixie and I moved out of the Artist Loft (Warehouse) and into a house. Different atmosphere. Added the Motif ES to the lineup at this time, it became the primary machine for shows. Also, added some guitars and a Mackie automated mixer – it looked cool, and got some use.

2008 - 2007 : The Sky Box Studio

Tyrone and I worked on Wander; Leather, Sex, and Lust; Hypocondria; and Glitch at this one. Great view of the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge and Yerba Buena Island. It was the center of operations for all the Spartan Tour performances, and next door to the Expressions multimedia school. Had full blue screen setup for videos and photos.

Powered by a custom-built Windows XP box running ACID Pro, VEGAS Pro, and ProTools all linked to a Mackie 16 Automated Mixer. Motif ES married to a PowerPC Mac. KSM 32 mic + Avalon 737sp preamp, Wave’s plugins.

2008 - 2007 : The Wine Bar and Overlook Studios

Hello Marin California. After a move which saw the data backups all fail meaning the total history of Audio Terrorist and decades of work were lost, set up the new location. I began the months of finding CD-Rs, and old hard drives to attempt to reconstruct what I could. Even the engineer at Buffalo said it was a “dirty industry secret that NAS raid stripped systems fail over time simply from wear of running so much”. Seriously 7 out of 8 drives died even tho I hand carried them from one studio to another (in a car). If I’d used multiple hard drives did not raid stripped I would have been fine.

Work continued there on Leather, Sex, and Lust; and Entertainment for the Day, as well as projects for other bands. We ditched keyboards like the Xio, the Mackie mixer, etc. Just found we used the mouse clicking more than a control surface.

Same setup as the Sky Box, different view. Transition from Windows XP tower box to a Acer Predator 17x Windows 10 Laptop. ACID PRO is still the main DAW at this point.

2019 - Present : Tree House Studio

Generation One: contained all the previous studio gear going back to the 2000 plus another Theremin and DMX lighting. The main editors and DAW were still VEGAS Pro+ACID Pro but the transition to Apple’s Logic Pro started fairly quickly to dominate. The big green screen setup only got used once and the amount of reflection off objects made most of that useless. A pricy lesson to learn.

Added a Wave RING controller, and a Theremini with SONUUS Audio to MIDI boxes to the “no touch” collection +SONNUS audio to midi boxes to expand sounds. Also, TC Helicon VoiceLive3, Focusrite Scarlett 18i20, and other gear.

Generation Two: Logic Pro on a Mac MINI has been firmly established as the main DAW with MetaSynth+Xx, Ableton LIVE, and ProTools there for legacy file management and archiving. The last two will be eventually dropped. Certainly ProTools. Hard to believe I was introduced to 1.0 by Dan Wyman all those years ago. Also, downsizing gear. I’ve packed up the Yamaha Motif ES + PowerPC + Presonus audio setup. Like Ableton LIVE, I’ve created almost no music or songs with it. The AKAI MINIAK, a guitar and bass, plus the HPD-15. What I need is space to work and sing.

Also, you can do so much on an iPhone, iPad, or simply farm out the work, it doesn’t make sense to have a museum of gear anymore. Good speakers, audio interface, mic + preamp suits my needs.

LYRICS

Over the years I, Pixie, and Annikah wrote the lyrics for the band. Tyrone added some too. I’ve included Chris Wirsig’s “Your Heroin” as he and the song have been key to the group.

Some have been “through composed” improv like a collage of postcard images, or an overly intellectual cultural theory rumination, or others were attempts at a traditional lyric and went through years of writes and rewrites before being completed.

I’ve worked to keep them either as abstract or as universal as possible, but sometimes something done in a single burst from the subconscious came forth and described an actual or perceived wrong was uttered. In the end such people are best avoided and not commented on.

Annikah’s lyrics were dark, abstract and personal, while Pixie’s tended to be about lust and kink with dashes of a hippy utopian free love spin. Tho’ she could also go a bit dark, which surprises me, because she never showed that side. Maybe that isn’t true.

Multiple Sci-Fi stories were started for Hypochondria, Glitch, and Resonator but never evolved into a full set of lyrics or cohesive story. While performed live, the vocals were never produced for the final tracks, which went out as instrumentals. Some singles with vocals did come from each project.

A Bitter Pill

By Kalib DuArte and Tyrone Stanford

What is this?

Untitled No. 5

Will we survive?

Untitled No. 5

Our arrogance.

Rises above.

This devastated

World

Of spit,

and steel

A bitter pill

Breaking my will

Aching and ill

Another bitter pill

A bitter pill!

Raging pain (x3)

What is this?

Untitled No. 5

Will we survive?

Untitled No. 5

All our schemes.

Fall apart.

We had the best of

Intensions

Of ash,

and hate

A bitter pill

Breaking my will

Aching and ill

Another bitter pill

A bit-ter pill!

A bitter pill

Heaven and hell

Under your spell

Another bitter pill

A bitter pill!

We had the best

Of intensions

A bitter pill

Breaking my will

Aching and ill

Another bitter pill

A bitter pill!

Feel it in our veins

Numbing us

Once, again

A House Called Citadel

[Pleasure and Pain]

By Kalib DuArte and Pixie Bleu

“It’s just a game, we play”

There’s a house

I San Francisco

They call the Citadel…

And it’s been the pleasure

Of many a boy

And god’s know

I’m but one

My mother was a butch dyke

She sewed

My new leather jeans

My father was a leather daddy

From down in New Orleans

Now the only thing

A biker needs

Is some glasses

And a load

And the only time

He is satisfied

Is when he’s out on the road

“Does it hurt?

When I touch you that way?

If I turn the other way

Will you be smiling?”

Oh, mothers

Tell your children

They can do

What I have done

Spend your lives in sin

And “kinkery”

In a house

They call

Citadel

“Does it hurt

In all of the right ways”

I’ve got one foot on the BART platform

The other on this train

I’m going back to the East Bay

Take off, that ball and chain

Well, there’s a house

I ol’ Frisco

They call the Citadel…

It’s the been the pleasure of of many a girl and god know more than one

“Does it hurt?

When I touch you that way?

If I turn the other way

Will you be smiling?”

Afterburner

By Kalib DuArte

4, 3, 2, 1

With enough force

Anything can fly!

You motivate me

Like a kick in the head

---------

Punch me into motion

(You burn me out)

Motivaaaaaaate!

Kick my ass into motion

(Motivate me)

Flying over your ocean

(Generate me)

How time flies...

When you're fuckin' in pain

CHORUS

Every empire falls...

By it's own design

Welcome to the future!

Welcome to the future

Where we are kept as slaves

in our Techno - Caves

(orig: Where they keep us as slaves

in our comfortable caves/cages)

Begging for a dollar

Is your new (slave) collar

Humanity is not a coordinated effort

Lurching to and fro

With enough force

Anything can fly

Don'tcha know!

You motivate me

Like a kick in the head

Punch me into motion

(You burn me out)

You motivate me

Lying in my head

Punch me into motion

(You burn me out)

Kick my ass into motion

(Motivate me)

Flying over your ocean

(Generate me)

How time flies

When you're fuckin' done

CHORUS

Every empire falls...

By it's own design

Welcome to the future!

Welcome to...

Here we are, kept as slaves

In our charred, burnt out caves

Humanity is not a coordinated effort

Lurching to and fro

With enough force...

Anything can fly!

Don't you know?

Afterburner...

Welcome to the future!

As the Day Breaks

By Kalib DuArte

In your eyes

I could never believe

What you say…

As the,

Day breaks

As the day breaks

As the day…

In your mind

You can never perceive

What they say…

As the,

Day breaks

As the day breaks

As the day…

As the day breaks

As the day…

Your soul

Has nothing left

There is nothing

To feel

Yet you

Want to believe…

As the

Day breaks

{the streets are empty}

As the day…

{where is tomorrow?}

As the day breaks

{rising up}

As the day…

{the future waits…}

As the day…

{for me…}

Asylum

By Annikah Boorse

That bad habit

You’ve always had

Blood on your fingers

Sweat on your back

On your back

You watch her

She’s right there

Writhing on

White sheets

You conscious creeps in

But doesn’t speak

My eyes close and

Then I turn my head

Unmoving lips

Pressed together

Never share your secret

Of blood stained sheets

The horrors of you

Fill me

Spill over me

Mar all of

Scar all of me

Away

By Kalib DuArte and Eric Wenger

Waiting for the call

That never comes

Long hours spent

Nightmares dancing inside my brain

In silence

Still waiting for the call

That never comes

Staring into space

You have left me sitting here

In silence

Each moment

I stand

I woke up cold

A message read

“I’ve moved on”

In silence

And I tell myself

The pleasures that we had

Are still within reach

And you are here, within me

In silence

The lightning in your eyes

The joys we had shared

Are pulling me to you

Are bringing me to you

Are pulling you to me

Are brining you to me

Driving in the blade

As you tore my heart away

In silence

You walked away

Away from us

Away.

Beyond the Damage

[Fracture Mix]

By Kalib DuArte

I’ll sit and wait for a new motivation!

“My beloved vampire”

Loves like a latex smile see

Wedding ring paid with bankruptcy

Your archetypes bind me again

My feet don’t touch the ground

Walk on water

Don’t feel anymore

Beyond depression

This is numbness.

-Uh, Uh, Uh

The fading light of orgasm

I laugh for I’ve become a monk

I said, “I am this”

No choice decisions

-my, my, my, my, my…

Beloved vampire

I don’t know the answers

[Beyond the Damage]

I don’t have the questions

[Beyond the Damage]

I don’t know the answers

[Beyond the Damage]

Beyond the Damage!

Beyond the Damage

[Shatter Mix]

By Kalib DuArte

Loves like a latex smile see

Wedding ring paid with bankruptcy

Your archetypes bind me again

My feet don’t touch the ground

VERSE TWO

Walk on water

Don’t feel anymore

Beyond depression

This is numbness.

VERSE THREE

A fading light of orgasm

I laugh for now I’ve become a monk

I said, “I am this”

No choice decision.

I don’t have the answers

I don’t know the questions

One dream fading behind me

One light ahead of me

Puzzle pieces on a daily basis

And me only….

[Guitar Solo]

I say give up all this

And get beyond your damage

What do you do

When you don’t need to fight?

I sit and wait for a new motivation

A new motivation

Beyond the damage

What do you do

When you don’t need to fight?

She sends

information

Documentations

of a moment’s time

Beyond the Damage

Ah… Damage!

Damage

Damage…

Beyond the Damage

[ReVision Mix]

By Kalib DuArte

I’ll sit and wait for a new motivation!

I don’t know the answers

I don’t have the questions

I don’t know the answers

Beyond the…

Loves like a latex smile see

Wedding ring paid with bankruptcy

Your archetypes bind me again

My feet don’t touch the ground

Walk on water

Don’t feel anymore

Beyond depression

This is numbness.

A fading light of orgasm

I laugh for now I’ve become a monk

I said, “I am this”

No choice decision.

I don’t know the answers

I don’t have the questions

I don’t know the answers

Beyond the…

I want to get beyond my damage

Beyond the Damage!

[Don’t leave me]

Big Daddy’s Bones

By Kalib DuArte

Big Daddy’s bones

A worn too low

Big Daddy’s bones

Will lead me along

Big mama knows

Everything runs cold

Big mama knows

What’s never told

Big Daddy’s bones

Are long and cold

Big Daddy’s bones

Are gnarled and old

Big Mama’s stole

All that she’s owned

Big Mama’s stole

All she’s ever known

Big Daddy’s bones

They have this worm

Kept in a jar

His name is Billy

He ain’t got a job

Big Daddy looks at him

Puts him in

The bottle again

Big Daddy’s bones

Just how it goes

Knows how it goes

Knows how

It goes

Mmmmm

Blue Leather

By Pixie Bleu

Baby take me in the shadows

In the club before the show

Remind me I belong to you

And mark me so my body knows

Blue leather – cuir bleu

Black leather – fantasy come true

Blue leather – cuir bleu

Black leather, I belong to you

Elements of ice and fire

When you touch me, I explode

You like to see my raw desire

And know that I am yours alone

Black leather – cuir bleu

Black leather – fantasy come true

Black leather – cuir bleu

Black leather, I belong to you

Catch a glimpse of cool blue leather

As we walk on to the stage

You know it’s only getting better

Now that we live the life we crave!

Black leather – cuir bleu

Black leather – fantasy come true

Black leather – cuir bleu

Black leather, I belong to you

Black Leather

By Pixie Bleu and Kalib DuArte

Take us in the shadows

In the club before the show

Remind me us belong to you

And mark me so our bodies know

Black leather

Black leather – fantasy come true

Black leather – cuir bleu

Black leather, I belong to you

Elements of ice and fire

When you touch us, we explode

You like to see my raw desire

And know that we are yours alone

Black leather

Black leather, I belong to you

Fantasy come true

Catch a glimpse of black n’ blue leather

As we walk on to the stage

You know it’s only getting better

Now that we live the life we crave!

Black leather

Black leather, we belong to you

Fantasy come true

Fantasy with you

Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy…

Branded

By Kalib DuArte

Lying here on my back.

I find it is getting harder to take.

These golden tears of passion.

I know my position well.

Suspended toes grace the ground.

Trust is the course of the day. Today.

This land is mine. I hear her say. All conquer's mark you.

Branded [2ème Partie]

Allure…

Allure bien

Etendure par terre

Je la trouve plus difficile a prendre

Ces larmes de fureur

Les orteils effleurant tout juste le sol,

Ce soir on apprend la confiance

Cette terre est a moi, elle a dit

Tout conquerral la marque

Brass Pole

By Pixie Bleu

Went to a party

The lights were low

There was a stage

With a big brass pole

Music was wild

The crowd was bold

Oh what I do with a

Brass pole

I had a job a while ago

Dancing for money

Felt like gold

That lost its charm

When they told me to blow

Cause, all I wanted

Was that brass pole

Baby, baby, take me to a brass pole

I wanna dance and let go

Baby, baby take me to a brass pole – Oh!

Cause when the music starts

And there’s nowhere to go

You gotta get me to a place

That’s got a brass pole

Cause you know how it goes

When everything is closed

You gotta get me to a place

That’s got a brass pole

I go to clubs you wouldn’t know

Dance for my lover hot and slow

He loves to watch as I lose control

All for the love of a brass pole!

Baby, baby take me to a brass pole

I wanna dance and let go

Baby, baby take me to a brass pole – Oh!

Baby, baby take me to a brass pole

I wanna dance wanna lose control

Don’t talk to me baby, you gotta know

All I want is that brass pole

Cause when the music starts

And there’s nowhere to go

You gotta get me to a place

That’s got a brass pole

Cause you know how it goes

When everything is closed

You gotta get me to a place

That’s got a brass pole

Flash of skin, no control, brass pole

Bring me to a stage

With a bright brass pole

Let me dance, let me lose control

Don’t talk to me, baby, you gotta know

All I want is that brass pole

Caravan of the Soul

By Kalib DuArte

This caravan of the soul

Passes me by

A Wisper calls out

Under a sheltering sky

Will we sing

Will it please the gods

Or have we forgotten

To lay down and die

Your love has dwelled in me

Will we sing

Will it please the gods

Or have we forgotten

Have we forgotten

To lay down and die

Have we forgotten

Or have we forgotten

to lay down and die

lay down and die

to lay down and die

[spoken]

Listen to the sound of this wounded vessel

How will it heal, how will it heal

The seperate tracks that take me from you

Can not be concealed

[spoken]

Destroy signs of hardship

Destroy all the pain

I'll move on,

I'll move on with this caravan

Have mercy, have mercy

Will we sing

Will it please the gods

Or have we forgotten

Will we sing

Will it please the gods

Or have we forgotten

Or have we forgotten…

Dark and Moody

By Pixie Bleu

Talk to me

Tell me where you are now

Let me feel

What you’re going through

How can I

Be a shining beacon

Giving light when

Darkness presses through

I don’t mind

When you’re dark & lonely

Take your time

I’m still hanging round

I don’t mind

When you’re dark & moody

Take your time

I’m still holding ground

Come to me

When you’re feeling tired

If you’re cold

I can give you warmth

All I want

All that I desire

Is to share

What’s within my heart

I don’t mind

When you’re dark & lonely

Take your time

I’m still hanging round

I don’t mind

When you’re dark & moody

Take your time

I’m still holding ground

Decompression

By Kalib DuArte

(As of the publishing day I am still rewriting these lyrics. Perhaps they will be final in a later edition of the book! I often get good lyrics while driving or in the shower and by time I can document them most of it is gone, like waking from a dream)

You

You must know by now

Resistance is futile now

They control all the ways

To make us pay and pay

With our submission

We won’t rise up and say

Our decompression.

Welcome to my decompression

How can I decompress

With so much going on?

How can I find the time

Sit down and write a song?

Things are changing fast

All I know is in the past

Will we even last past this day?

Or run away?

Burying our heads in the sand

Can’t you understand.

Things are happening so fast

Time, you bring me to my knees

Begging for release

The pain and all my needs

Pray For decompression

When the bends start to shake

(And i start to break)

(There’s) Only so much I can take

Your demands and my pleads

For my decompression

And you, you know how it feels

When things start to get real

And there’s no/only one way out

To decompression…

Life takes its toll

We all grow old

We need decompression

Don’t take it to fast

Or your not going to last

Your own decompression

You, must know it’s too late

Past survival date

And decompression

You, such a shame

Your body wracked with pain

It’s just the same, it’s decompression

Deliverance

[Elemental Version]

By Kalib DuArte and Pixie Bleu

Can’t you see me

In the shadows

Don’t you know

Your all that I don’t need

Can’t you see?

I am lightning of deliverance

And my spirit splitting

The sacred tree

I’ll be free

I am fire

I am pain

I am anger

Do you know why I came?

I am burning and

I don’t know why

Why I’m burning and

I am in the flame

Tonight, tonight

There’s a screaming

Can’t you hear it

Welling up from the

Hell inside of me

I am pleading

For deliverance

In a shivering clap

Of thunder feel

Set me free

I am air

I am sane

I am logic

Do you know why I came?

I am speaking and

I don’t know why

Why I’m speaking

And I am in the sky

Tonight, tonight

There are nights I

Need the rain and

I cry for it’s release

Oh, please

Let me be.

I am dreaming

Of deliverance

I am thrown across

A raging sea

I am free

I am water

I am rain

I am passion

Do you know why I came?

I am flowing and

I don’t know why

Why I’m flowing and

I am on the tide

Tonight, tonight

Deliverance

Down to earth

Deliverance

Down to earth

Deliverance

Come down to earth

Do You Remember?

By Kalib DuArte

Do you remember

The pleasure and pain?

Do you remember

Doing it again?

Do you remember

The lingering kiss?

Do you remember

The seductive twist?

Do you remember

The leather and fur?

Do you remember

Whispering, “Sir”?

Do you remember

Where it went wrong?

The body moves

Without thinking

Witness here

With eyes unblinking

The mind flows

Without thinking

Witness here

Without eyes

Have you forgotten

The promises made?

Have you forgotten

The accusations saved?

Have you forgotten

Your darkest hour?

We ride

We ride along

We ride

We ride along

We ride

We ride along

We ride

We ride along

Have you forgiven

The time it takes?

Have I forgiven

You?

Have I forgiven

Me?

TV screen present

Camera on

Dying Dreams

By Kalib DuArte

Hier stehen wir

Ohne Angst

Hier tanzen wir

So nah

Wir erobern

Ein neuer Tag

Sterbende Träume

Here we stand

With nothing to fear

Here we dance

We're all so near

We will conquer

Another day

Dying dreams

Fall away

Weeping in dark spaces

Silent to our cries

Crimes of lust and faith now

Silent til time took

It all… from me.

Hier stehen wir

Ohne Angst

Hier tanzen wir

So nah

Wir erobern

Ein neuer Tag

Dying dreams

Fall away

Whisper to our sighs how

Miracles have no plans

Dreams of trust are wraiths now

Silent til time took it all from me

Entertainment for the Day

By Kalib DuArte

I met you, in the sun

We drank, and had fun

I met you, in the night

We drank, and had fights

I was just your entertainment

For the day, in every way

She’ said, “I’m damaged goods”

I said, “I don’t care”

I’ll give you, undying love

This is our ballad of faith

In the cold hospital ward

I would hold your hand

I’d be sitting there

Till you died.

I hear you made plans

With another man

And then you

Tossed me aside

I was just your

Entertainment for the Day

In every way…

What went wrong

I blinked my eyes

You were gone

And I just died

Time kills all the pain

But your silence drove me insane

I hear your laughter in the night

Singing our song, bar after bar

We could have risen to the stars

Now there’s nothing

But ash in my hands.

Yet, I still hear the beating

Of your heart.

False Paradise

By Kalib DuArte

Tempt us with your dreams

Drug us with your schemes

We dance and drink

Tell us what to think

False paradise

Your seductions

[Will not suffice]

The boss is always right

And yet we still fight

With force an might

Tell us of your plight

With your reductions

They seem to suffice

But now the tables

Have turned…

False paradise

Don’t be a slave

Dwelling underground

Come out

Into the sun

We’ll show you how…

With your reductions

False paradise

Your seductions

The tables

Have turned…

With your reductions

False paradise

Now your seductions

Don’t seem to suffice

Your reductions

False paradise

Now your seductions

Are a false paradise

Genderfuck

By Kalib DuArte

Genderfuck time my darling

Take me to the heights of passion

Do anything you want with me

Dress me up in fetish fashion

Parade me all around your world

Who needs a color code when

Black is the primary color

In my, fashion

Patent Priestess

I confess my sins

Purple Hearts, stories of men

Tightened fist, prepare the sacrifice

Find in me, home tonight

Touch me once more

With the Tesla toy

Electric dreams cum to life

With pulsations of joy

Cure the heart

Of this girl fucked boy

Reich’s release and tension

Genie bottle makes me scream

With the sweat tears flowing

Come baby, harness that thing

Genderfuck

Read the books, got the cover

Feminism, new delight

Brings Genderfuck it’s lover

To the alter of night

Perverse little kitten

Cum, show me the truth.

Genderfuck

Take me, take me

Take me again

Haunted Play

By Pixie Blue

Are you lonely, lover?

Are you blue?

Are you lookin back

From where you’ve come

And only seeing you?

Do you wonder

If what they say is true

That the only one that matters

Here is you…

I can be a wild thing

And lead you far astray

Pull you in from the outside world

Keep everyone away

But only if you make me so

Within your haunted play

For you I’ll be a demon

If you write me in that way

Look into my eyes

And know a different kind of lie

By saying I don’t matter

You can only make me cry

But come to me at night

And tell me it’s alright

And know it’s there for you

If you’re prepared to fight

Let me run on my own

And I’ll show you my heart

And all the wild things

That bloom when love is art

I can be the world for you

If you’ll only let me start

I can be your angel-fire

And your guiding star….

It’s the End

By Kalib DuArte

It’s the end

My friend

And we don’t have a place to go.

Talk to me

Can’t you see?

We’re living in a land of false dreams.

And we

We are standing

With both of our feet of the ground

We’ll all loose

If we choose

Not to find some common ground

Have to turn this thing around

Or we’ll loose

[instrumental]

[solo]

You deny

While people die

Your thinking is quite unsound

Got to turn this thing around

We’ve got to turn this thing around

It’s the end…

I’m Your Lover

By Pixie Blue

Don’t know why

I give you my heart and

Keep coming back for more

But ever since it all fell apart

I find myself back at your door

Now don’t worry about a thing

I can hold my own

Just take me as I am

And you won’t ever be alone

I’m your lover, your lover true

I’m the one who never leaves you blue

And I’ll be there all through the night

To love you and to hold you tight, alright

Don’t ask me why I am who I am

You’ll never get me figured out

But if you want me, I’ll be your friend and That’s when all the fun will start

When I go to sleep at night

I wanna be there in your bed

And when I greet the morning light

You’ll make it so I can’t forget that

I’m your lover, your lover true

I’m the one who never leaves you blue

And I’ll be there all through the night

To love you and to hold you tight, alright

Now

Don’t expect me to play those games

That’s not the kind of girl I am

But if you’re lookin’ for the Truth

I’ll give you all the best I can

Let me stand and meet your eyes

I can see into your heart

When it’s cold and it’s dark outside

I will be your warmth and fire, cause

I’m your lover, your lover true

I’m the one who never leaves you blue

And I’ll be there all through the night

To love you and to hold you tight, alright

In the Dust of the Stars

[12” Seduction Mix]

By Kalib DuArte

Oh, oh, oh

Dreamless slumber

We’ve gone under

This seduction

To answer your call

We’ve given up all

This seduction

Let the journey begin…

Time to awaken

We’ve been shaken

This seduction

Now we have arrived

We’ve traveled so far…

We heard your signal

We came to your call

In the dust of the stars

We fly to help you

Won’t suffer at all

In the dust of the stars

We heard a transmission

We’ve come so far

In the dust of the stars

Find that this mission

Blinded by your ambition

In the dust of the stars

We’ll stand and fight

For the common man

Cause that’s who we are

In the dust of the stars

After we learn

We must return

To the dust of the stars

A cry for help

Was received

Now we find

We’re deceived

Heading into night

To answer this call

In the dust of the stars

We’ve come so far

We’ve come so far.

Innocent Destruction

By Kalib DuArte

That wasn’t what I voted for

But i should have known

The signs were there all along

Yet there wasn’t a better choice

(He spoke in my voice)

He might have raped and killed

But he backed my side

And told me he’d make things cheaper

By handing my money to billionaires

(Con men and religious nuts)

It’s an Innocent Destruction

I didn’t know?

An Innocent Destruction

Don’t you know?

Does it really show?

(I’m not to blame)

He said he’d tear apart the country

I thought it/that was a just a joke

Now i watch as my world goes up in smoke…

He’s known to lie each time he spoke

Spitting in childhood and hope

Let him run the country he repeatedly

I felt betrayed by hope

So I chose smoke (and mirrors)

It’s an Innocent Destruction

I didn’t know

An Innocent Destruction

Don’t you know?

(I’m not to blame)

A rapist - no problem

A traitor - no problem

A con man - no problem

A 34 time felon - bring it on

He’s a law onto his own…

Its an Innocent Destruction

I just didn’t know?!

An Innocent Destruction

Don’t you know?

(I’m not to blame)

When my kids can’t think, can’t eat, I doubt I’d change my mind. I’ll just rinse and repeat… then watch as the bonfire gets higher until It’s my children in the fire…

Kicking the Dog

[Corporate Version]

By Kalib DuArte

You kill to cum

Fuck everyone

So you can profit better

Steal our homes

Say its fair

Pass a Senate bill

Screw with our heads

Play the game

Just to refine your stunt

Did you laugh as we

Turned on each other?

Kiss ass wallstreet

Telling lies

Tease us like no other

Sick little banker

Balance the sheets

Blame us for this fire

When it’s done

Call scream

Gather all your troops

Grab sympathy

For all you can

Love for our abusing masters

God knows

You fucked with us

God knows

You fucked with us

God knows

You fucked with us

Lie to our friends but

God knows

You fucked us over

God knows

You fucked with us

God knows

You fucked with us

Lie to our faces

But god knows

You fucked us over

The dreams of corporations

The games of the courts

Stains forever…

Did you hear about

The Pennsylvania kids

Who a judge jailed

Enslaving them to a corporation?

We are talking pure profit (labor)

Hey, Hey, Hey

They took it away

Hey, Hey, Hey

Do we have nothing to say?

Hey, Hey, Hey

When they look my way

Hey, Hey, Hey

I will just walk away

May you rot in hell

Kicking the Dog

[Personal Version]

By Kalib DuArte

You kill to cum

Fuck everyone

So you can feel better

Mess with mind trips

Steal my home and

Send me the $2k bill

Screw with the heads

Of my friends

Just to line your cunt

Did you laugh

When they believed you

And turned on me?

Sick little fucker

Stain my sheets

And call me the lier

Blow your husband’s best friend

And abuse his little daughter

When it’s done call your orgasm

Gather all your troops

Grab sympathy from

Everyone you can

You abusive mother

God knows

You fucked with me

God knows

You fucked with me

Lie to my friends but

God knows you fucked with me

God knows

You fucked with me

God knows

You fucked with me

Lie to my friends but

God knows

You fucked with me

The screams of two bitches

Stains forever…

May you rot in hell

Landed in Hell

By Kalib DuArte

Like a turn on

In a cheap motel

I found that I

Landed in hell

You’re on to me

I’m onto you

I can’t give you

Any sympathy

Mother

By Kalib DuArte

Mother would you say?

I didn’t quite turn out

The way you planned

Everything got out of hand

Mother would you

Would you ever

Could I never do

What you want me to

If every we fall

I can replace it all in time

And take back

What is mine

Could you feel that I

I walked along the garden wall

My fingers trailing along

Hiding ivy

Stealing kisses

You’re eyes flashed out

In the night…

Embracing death within you

Gives life it’s meaning

God knows

My only home

This heart is

This heart is home

Night People

By Kalib DuArte

Night people never sleep

Breathe the night they want to feel

There is no help for you here

Fighting… what is real

Ruby razors kiss powdered flesh

Smashing border towns ablaze

Teasing of delicate delight

They come to feed

Night People will you sacrifice

Cutting lines in painted eyes

Glance sensual sipping wine

Smash open… the blood of time

Do you find when you lie awake

Running hands in hair again

Go you feel the tongue’s embrace

Moving down to heaven…

This is heaven.

Darlin’ can you feel the pain

What is driving me?

Can you touch this heart

This cold dying heart…

Nightporter your machine

Has broken down

I can’t find anything

In this god forsaken town

You want to explain to me

All your dying for sympathy

Breaks down again

Breaks down again…

October

By Kalib DuArte

I Twist and Turn

Mourning the past

You-were-gone-in-a

Message flash

Your silence serves

A bitter lesson

Without warning

Seasons can change

Oh, October

You left me so cold

Why did you go?

Was it only

Nature's call?

Your smile promised

Private treasures

It was such

A simple pleasure

Seeds were planted

But died midway

Your dancing flesh

Just slipped away

Oh, October

You left me so cold

Why did you go?

Was it only

Nature's call?

Was it only

Nature's call?

We want to believe

We're all unique

Our lovers tell a

Different Critique

They Come and go

Remaining as ghosts

In a_Collection

Jar

Oh, October

You left me so cold

Why did you go?

Was it only

Nature's call?

I remain

Here

I remain

Here

I remain…

Overthrown

By Kalib DuArte

Overthrown

We have lost

The threat was

Deep from inside

Blind sighted

Part of us

Plays itself out

With dry leaves

In my mouth

Spreading disease

An itching

To be scratched

Whispering

On our knees

Red eyes that

Burn cold dread

Shedding tears

Of sand

Our best plan

We let loose

Plague upon

This land

This landscape

Is barren

Teachings

We know

Dangling us

In a window

Ignorance

Does show

Overthrown

I fall

Down again

I will survive

I am

You again

I will survive

I fall

Down again

I have arrived

We fall

Down again

We will survive

We are

You again

I have arrived

Tears

Rain down

Tears

Rain down

Tears

Down

Tears

Rain down

Now, Now, Now, Now

Rain now! Wash our

Blood soaked souls

Rain now! Wash these

Blood stained hands

Rain now! Wash our

Blood stained minds

Rain now! Wash our

Blood soaked hearts

Rain down

PEBKAC

By Kalib DuArte

We are

We are reaching out to you

If you want us to

We are

Here to fight for you

We’ll see this through

If you want us to

We are

Here to sing

Battle hymns of glory

(Tell us your story)

PEBKAC

We’re going down…

We know

What you’ve done

Inject

Reject

Moving

Moving down…

Inspect

Reject

Moving

Moving down…

[Ich liebst du]

Inspect

Reject

Moving

Moving down…

[Ich liebst du]

Why should we fight for you?

Why should we care for you?

With the evils that you do?

Why should we fight for you?

Why should we care for you?

With the evils that you do?

Why should we fight for you?

Why should we care for you?

With the evils that you do?

We are reaching out

Hide your sins

We’re going in

We are reaching out

Hide your sins

We’re going in

Why should we fight for you?

Why should we care for you?

With the evils that you do?

We are reaching out

Hide your sins

We’re going in

Why should we fight for you?

Why should we care for you?

With the evils that you do?

We are reaching out

Hide your sins

We’re going in

Pleasure and Pain

By Pixie Bleu

Does it hurt?

When I touch you that way

If I look the other way

Will you be smiling?

Was I right?

To think you’d want to play

Cause something makes you stay

And you’re mine

I just think you

Like it this way

When I bring you

Pleasure and Pain

Some may say

It can’t be okay

But I say

It’s just a game

We play

Is it cruel?

To use you when I like

Do you think I might

Bring you pleasure?

Does it hurt?

In all of the right ways

Is that why you stay

And we’re together?

I think you just

Like it this way

When I bring you

Pleasure and Pain

Some may say

It can’t be okay

But I say

It’s just a game

We play

It’s just a game

We play

Pleasure and pain

Sex Toy

By Pixie Bleu

Feel the music, rhythm’s hot

Driving, pushing, I can’t stop

Let me show you something

I know you’ll enjoy

Come on, baby, come on

I’m your sex toy

I’m your… sex toy

Tight black leather, collar, cuffs

Take me out or tie me up

I won’t be shy, I won’t be coy

Take me when you want me

I’m your sex toy

I’m your… sex toy

Talk of passion, talk of love

Little kisses ain’t enough

So why not do what we enjoy?

Where you’re my master and

I’m your toy (yes, master)

See my lover there in black

Giving, taking, holding back

I know the touch

Only you can employ

So let me feel your power

I’m your sex toy

I’m your… sex toy

I can be your pony when we play

I’ll stamp my hooves & shake my mane

I wanna feel your fire

I wanna see your joy

Let me blow your mind,

I’m your sex toy

Sex Toy

By Pixie Bleu and Kalib DuArte

Feel the music, rhythm’s hot

Driving, pushing, I can’t stop

Let me show you something

I know you’ll enjoy

Come on, baby, come on

Be my Sex Toy

Your my Sex Toy

Tight black leather, collar, cuffs

Take you out or tie you up

Don’t be shy, Don’t be coy

I’ll take you when I want to

Your my Sex Toy

We talk of passion, talk of love

Little kisses ain’t enough

Why not do what I enjoy?

Where I’m your master

And your my toy

See my lover there in black

Taking, giving, holding back

I know the touch

Only you can enjoy

Feel my power baby

Be my Sex Toy

Your my Sex Toy

Play with me, play with me now

Sex Toy, Sex Toy

You Sexy Bitch

Sex Toy, Sex Toy

You Sexy Bitch

Sexy Bitch

By Kalib DuArte

You’ve got me twistin’

In the wind like sycophant/idiot

It’s getting harder

For me now.

You’re so sick and twisted

But I know what to do

We want to catch

This disease from you

You, you Sexy Bitch

You’re so sick and twisted

I give a fuck you’d say

I don’t resist it, anyway

You, you Sexy Bitch

I’ll fuck your brains out

And then you’ll think

I’m a god

And you’ll concoct fantasies

Out of thin air

You, you Sexy Bitch

You want to be venerated

You want to be united

I’ll fuck you, I’ll fuck you

You, you Sexy Bitch

Stupid Bitch

By Kalib DuArte

You’ve got me twistin’

In the wind like idiot

I find

It’s getting harder to try

You’re so sick and twisted

I don’t know what to do

I don’t want to catch

Disease from you

Stupid Bitch

You’re so sick and twisted

I give a fuck you’d say

I can’t resist it, in any way

Stupid Bitch

You fuck with brains

And now you

Think you’re a god

And now you concocted fantasies

I don’t care

You want to be venerated

You want to be united

Fuck you

Ya Stupid Bitch

You Stupid Bitch

She Said, I Am

By Kalib DuArte

To sedate depression

The crying room

Calls to me

A quickening pace

As I approach

Don’t let me break to soon

The walls stare back unblinking

Images of you cascade

And the covering of faces

As the tearing comes

Pleasure of alienation

Loneliness, jouissance

A better memory

The hunger of the need

I am broken by these words

Flesh or machine

Am I guilty of

Something obscene

A face of wax

In the bed

Receiver clicks

Says she said

“I Am”

Slip Away

By Pixie Bleu and Kalib DuArte

See you in the shadows

Can’t touch what you can’t quite see

Can’t hide so you run from me

Do you think I want you?

Do you think I care?

Slip away…

Slip away from me

Run away…

Things you can not see

Are here…

[wispering to me in the night

All our dream are broken

Whispering to me

There things unspoken

Running in the shadows

Can’t say what it is you lost

Can’t know that cha paid the cost

Do you think it matters?

Do you think you’re clear?

Slip away…

Slip away from me

Run away…

Things you can not see

Are here…

Are here…’

Tripping in the shadows

Can’t say where you’re going to

Can’t find what belongs to you

Do you think you won now?

Do you think you’re done?

Slip away…

Slip away from me

Run away…

Things you can not see

Are here…

From me…

Slip away from me…

Run away…

Things you can not see…

Slip away…

Slip away from me

Run away…

Things you can not see

Are here…

Smoke and Mirrors

By Kalib DuArte

Shut up and listen

Don’t spoil good will

There are people

Who’s lives are on the line

Sometimes you witness

That’s a bitter pill

Unfortunately, it’s known

That looks can kill

Smoke and mirrors

What do you see?

Lots of confusion

And only me

They call him

Don the Con

He’s pulled the wool

Over folk’s eyes

Somewhere

By Eric Wenger and Kalib DuArte

The hurting began

Nothing to say

Without any doubt

I was pushed out

For she and me

Were not to be

Only belonging

To nowhere…

The things I can’t touch

Hurting so much

My love that is here

But never was there

Facts I can’t bear

Path’s I can’t take

The road that belongs

Here somewhere…

The burning I took

Holding the book

Without any hope

I had to cope

And dream no more

Screaming out the score

She and me belong

To nowhere…

The lines now in touch

Feeling so much

We seek and explore

Now we play no more

Thinking again

Without any doubts

One day..

I may belong

To somewhere…

She and me belong

To nowhere

Oh friends

Of kind betrayal

You did me

No favors

As my heart

Now lay in hell

Weeping

For somewhere

Spaces

By Annikah Boorse

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Scratching nails where

Skin had been…

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Parting flesh with

Nails through skin…

No entrance

No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

First?

No entrance

No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

Did I bruise, did I bruise

First?

Don’t touch me

I want you to touch me

Blood sisters in pigtails

Which one did I loose first?

How deep did I bruise first?

[Up Key]

Blood sisters in pigtails

Which one did I loose first?

How deep did I bruise

Did I bruise, did I bruise

First?

How deep? How deep?

How deep, how deep, How deep, how deep, How deep, how deep, how deep, how deep…

Did I loose first?

Did a bruise first?

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Scratching nails where

Skin had been…

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Parting flesh with

Nails through skin…

No entrance

No exit

Which one did they use first

How deep did I bruise

First?

Blood sisters in pigtails

Which one did I loose first?

How deep did I bruise?

Did I bruise

Did I bruise?

First?

How deep, how deep, how deep?

Spaces II

By Annikah Boorse (Arr. Kalib DuArte]

[Intro 2x]

[V1]

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Scratching nails where

Skin had been…

[V2]

Little fingers

Wheedle in the

Smallest spaces

Parting flesh with

Nails through skin…

[Chorus]

No entrance

No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

[Vox Rise]

No entrance

No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

Did I bruise first?

[V3/Chorus]

Blood sisters in pigtails

Which one did I loose?

How deep did I bruise?

Blood sisters in pigtails

Which one did I loose?

How deep did I bruise, First?

How deep?

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]

No entrance, No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

[Vox Rise]

No entrance, No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

Did I bruise, First?

[Bridge]

Don’t touch me

I want you to touch me

[Chorus]

No entrance, No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

[Vox Rise]

No entrance, No exit

Which one did they use

Just how deep did I bruise

Did I bruise, First…?

Sunshine

(Can’t Fight the Future)

By Kalib DuArte

They said we’d be safe here

I think they lied

Heaven knows where we are going

Spreading across this broken land

The machines no longer dream

All the answers in your red right hand…

Sunshine, can’t fight the future

High crimes, for the day

Wrong time, hear the bells ringing

Some time, we’ll all pay

They sold us a bill of goods

Turned out to be all lies

Sunshine, can’t fight the future

High crimes, for the day

Wrong time, hear the bells ringing

High time, we all pay

Now we know just where we’re going

Crawling with your tears in our hands

We put it all on the line

Feeding on the dust of salvations

Heaven looks like hell from here

Sunshine, can’t fight the future

High crimes, for the day

Wrong time, hear the bells ringing

This time, we all pay

Sunshine, can’t fight the future

High crimes, for the day

Wrong time, hear the bells ringing

Now’s the time…, we…, all…,

Pay…

Sympathy ‘89

By Kalib DuArte

Whip in her hand

She stares at me

Sensations reach

For critical mass

Any kind of state

But apathy

Give me a bang…

Across this razor’s edge

A blank expression on my face

Satin desire lingers

On the edge of unspoken lips

Please don’t

Take it away

Take it away…

Can’t believe she said to me

“You’re a whore in all you do”

She whispers, “can’t you see”?

“I can’t give you no, sympathy”

I can’t give you no,

Sympathy!

Take a Picture

By Pixie Bleu

Standing on the corner

And on the edge of time

I know the places I’ve been

I feel my past unwind

Looking in the mirror

The troubles in my eyes

Stacking it up neatly

And leaving it behind

Oh, Take a Picture

When I go

Don’t for get the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

I can run and I can fly

Paint a pretty picture

It isn’t hard to do

Look into the future

I see what I can do

Keep myself together

Will all that I’ve been through

Stacking it up neatly

And babe I wake up with you

Oh, Take a Picture

When I go

Don’t for get the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

I can run and I can fly

Take a Picture

[ReVision Version]

By Pixie Bleu and Kalib DuArte

Standing on the corner

And on the edge of time

I know the places I’ve been

I’ve see the past unwind

Looking in the mirror

Trouble in my eyes

Stacking it up neatly

Leaving it behind

Oh, take a picture when I go

Don’t forget the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

You can’t run and you can’t hide

Put me in a movie,

I n a picture show

Take me anywhere you want

You know I’m good to go

High up in the spotlights

In the crowd below

Bring on my world

I’m ready to let go

Oh, take a picture when I go

Don’t forget the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

You can’t run and you can’t hide

Paint a pretty picture

It isn’t hard to do

Look into the future

To see what I can do

Keep myself together

With all I’ve been through

I’ll take the road before me

And babe I run from you

Oh, take a picture when I go

Don’t forget the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

The motor’s/engine’s running

Watch me ride!

Oh, take a picture when I go

Don’t forget the world I’ve known

Gonna leave it all behind

I can run and I can fly!

Tempest

By Eric Wenger and Kalib DuArte

The ties that bind you

Slowing blind you

The aching hours

Slowly confine you

The hollow moment

Slowly defines you

Madness is calling

From the coming storm…

Nothing seems to matter anymore

The memories slowly find you

And the questions burrow in

And Slowly tortures you

Silence spills in

Slowly kills you

Madness is calling

From the coming storm

Nothing seems to matter

Anymore

The Tempest is here

A hand reaches out

Ghosts are dancing

Visions of you

Whirling around this room

I hit the floor

Screaming

I can’t take it

Anymore

The Bitter End

by Kalib DuArte

Wake up!

Will you turn
When you learn
Their coming for you?

Will you lie
Then deny
Saying it's untrue?

Will you sigh

Will you cry

It’s not my time?

Will you run
Get your gun
Let the others burn?

As we fly
To the bitter end
We all die
In the bitter
This is the bitter end

Will you know

What you’ve done

When it’s all through?

Will you feel

Will you kneel

Knowing it’s true?

When they say

It’s time to pay

For all your crimes

Will you plead

“There’s no need

It’s just a sign of the times…”

As we fly
To the bitter end
We all die
In the bitter
This is the bitter end

You sold our souls

For you family to keep

We the people don’t know

How you Fuckin’ sleep

As we fly
To the bitter end
We all die
In the bitter
This is the bitter end

Believe the lie

Til your bitter end

Then ask why?

Until your bitter end

This is our bitter end…

The Child’s Song

By Kalib DuArte

I once had a dream inside

I once a feeling so intense

I once had the desire to try

Now my friend, it’s time again

Time is seems is not my friend

Will you know

Just what I’m coming from?

I once had a living wish

I once had a love so strong

I once had the will to try

Now my friend, it’s time again

Time for my dreams to asend

I live to be with you

One more day

So, I sing The Child’s Song

I sing The Child’s Song

I know, I don’t have long

(So) I sing The Child’s Song

The City (Genderfuck)

By Pixie Bleu and Kalib DuArte

City night, oh my darling

Take me to the heights of passion

Do anything you want with me

Dress me up in fetish fashion

Lights are on the water,

Moon is in the sky

Come across the steel span

And leave the day behind

Forget who you used to be

Become who you are

When you’re in the City, baby,

Everyone’s a star

Cause the City’s like an angel

Opening her wings

In the day she’s sleepy,

But in the night she sings

And the City’s like a demon

Who wants your very soul

She’ll feed you when you’re hungry

If you don’t mind the cold

Are you feeling lonely

do you want to dance

When you’re in the City

she’ll give you the chance

Do you want a pretty boy

Or a well-hung girl?

Baby, it don’t matter

When you come into my world

Cause the City’s like an angel

Opening her wings

In the day she’s sleepy,

But in the night she sings

And the City’s like a demon

Who wants your very soul

She’ll feed you when you’re hungry

If you don’t mind the cold

Underneath the street lights

Or in the neon clubs

Whether you’re in torn-up jeans

Or latex opera gloves

Put on your best leather

Or dress to please the crowd

You’ll come back to your Lover

Cause you like her when she’s loud

Cause the City’s like an angel

Opening her wings

In the day she’s sleepy,

But in the night she sings

And the City’s like a demon

Who wants your very soul

She’ll feed you when you’re hungry

If you don’t mind the cold

Take me (take me), Take me (take me) Take me (take me), Take me (take me) Take me (take me), Take me (take me)

Take me (take me), Take me now!

The Mystic

By Kalib DuArte

Don’t look at me

Little girl…

Don’t look at me

Little boy…

I’ll take away

Your world

Don’t look at me…

The Shore

By Kalib DuArte

[V1]

The lines carve a wicked form

You stop asking you questions

It’s time ~~you~~ one should have learned

Of loves Mephistopheles return

[V2]

A miramax fumes out it course

On the shores of the mistazzi

A night porter bears your prize

Of rumors and lies

[V3]

Oradian whispers pulse in vein

Begging moments from you

Prophetic defenses side to side

Lie shattered, on the floor

[Chorus]

Mother surround me in your earth

The hunger claws at me again

Incubus Child born without blood

A lacerated diary exacting his claim

[Break]

My beloved vampire

[v4]

Bearing teeth of tribute

The bemused virtuoso

?which you will know

[V5]

Oradian whispers pulse in vein

Begging moments from you

Expectations lie

Shattered, ~~for us all~~on the floor.

[Chorus]

Mother surround me in your earth

Hunger claws at me again

Incubus Child born without blood

A lacerated diary exacting his claim

Running through ~~some~~ time’s tributes

Burning skin

The inquisitor stares at me

On trial again

What you know

You’ve got to hide

Bring it back to me

Oh, oh, oh

[Chorus]

Mother surround me in your earth

The hHunger claws at me again

Incubus Child born without blood

A lacerated diary exacting his claim

But it’s my claim

[Chorus]

Mother surround me in your earth

Hunger claws at me again

Incubus Child born without blood

A lacerated diary exacting his claim

On the shore…

Threat

By Kalib DuArte

Darkness rains down

The shadows on the wall

Tears run dry

For the killing in us all

Winds of change blow through

The scent of our fears

Opens up a time

Laying dormant all those years

Sands cross our path

As we crawl to the sea

Praying for release, begging

Down on our knees

I feel it come

Feel it coming

I feel it come

Feel it coming onto me

The time has come

Who calls us?

This threat!

Hey, hey, hey, hey…

Now we make plans

Too blind, too deaf to see

Take a stand, eventually

I feel it come

Feel it coming

I feel it come

Feel it coming into me

The time has come

Rising on our lust

Thermals of dust

Choking on blood

Soaked in our rust

Feeling it come

The fears of satin pain

Time has taken

This darkness in us all

I feel it come

Feel it coming

I feel it come

Feel it coming to us all

Fire and Ice

Fire and Ice…

This threat!

We Are Done

By Kalib DuArte

When evening comes

I widdle away the hours

Hearing your voice sing

“All things are mine”

When evening comes

I sit with you beside me

Holding your hand tight

“All things are mine”

Round and round

In my head

Over and over

In my bed

Chasing a rabbit

Down the hole

Going nowhere

Round and round

All you said

Over and over

Our love is dead

Chasing an answer

Down a hole

Going nowhere

Round and round

In my bed

Over and over

In my head

Chasing a habit

Down the hole

Going nowhere

Round and round

All you said

Over and over

Our love is dead

Chasing an answer

Down a hole

Going nowhere

Spiraling

Spinning

With madness

Spiraling

Spinning

With madness

I hear your voice

I feel your breath

I smell your skin

I taste your love

I see your ghost

I am screaming x3

I feel your hand in mine

I hear your laughter too

I feel your breath on me

I hear your laughter too

I hear your voice

I feel your breath

I smell your skin

I taste your love

I see your ghost

I am screaming (x3)

It meant nothing (x13)

We are done, we are done

We are done…

We Are Failures/Failure

By Kalib DuArte

Gate keepers of the system

Square peg, round hole

We try to fit you

You need control

Your expectations

Were just to high

Your expectations

Just make us cry

Fool us with

Your submission

Fool us with

Your ambition

Fools us with

Your religion

I’m a failure

Heard it before

I’m a failure

Know the score

I’m a failure

Can’t you see

I’m a failure

For you and me

We are failures

Nothing less

We are failures

To the blessed

We are failures

Can’t make the/no money

We are failures

Ain’t us sheep so funny

Time and again

We dance for you

Time and again

We say we’re through

They are failures

Can’t they feel?

They are failures

So unreal

They are failures

Aberrations

They are failures

On a mission

They are failures

Every hour

They are failures

Holding power

They are failures

With a bomb

They are failures

In this song

On a mission, On a mission

On a mission. On a mission

Rise above

Free your mind

Purge your demons

Rise above

Free your mind

Purify your soul

Rise up, Don’t be afraid

Don’t do what you’re told

Rise up, Don’t be afraid

Come on now break the mold

Rise up, Don’t be afraid

Don’t waste your time

Rise up, Don’t be afraid

Take back you power

Time and again we learn

There was no garden of eden

There was no fall…

We Fall from the Sky

By Kalib DuArte

When the light fades

And the shadows retreat

I’ll be here with you

I will make you see

We fall from the sky

(Believe Me)

Between the Sun

And the Moon

(Believe Me)

You hear our hearts cry

(Believe Me)

We will come for you soon

(Believe me)

When the darkness comes

And our souls retreat

I’ll be here with you

I will make you feel

We fall from the sky

(Believe Me)

Between the Sun

And the Moon

(Believe Me)

You hear our hearts cry

(Believe Me)

We will come for you soon

(Believe me)

They will know fear

And I’ll know vengeance

They will find tears

And I’ll find pleasure

I will take you to

I’ll take you to

The edge of nothing…

I will take you to

I’ll take you to

The Edge of nothing…

We fall from the sky

(Believe Me)

Between the Sun

And the Moon

(Believe Me)

[I will take you to]

You hear our_ hearts cry

[I’ll take you to]

[The edge of nothing]

[I will take you to]

We will come for you soon

[I’ll take you to]

[The edge of nothing]

Or..

[Believe me] ?

We’ve Come So Far

By Kalib DuArte

Come weary travelers

Come rest with us tonight

You’ll find a place to dream

(And) sleep the pain away

Your trouble are no more

We’re gonna even scores

Trust us with (all) your hopes

(Just) listen to what we say

We’ve come so far

Now is the time to rise

Taking back our lives

Whispering what is ours

…evolution (for) today.

Say it’s a peaceful crime

Your revolution to..

Turn back the clock on us

Killing time and time again

We’ve come so far

Now our money is burning

You’ve been showered with gold

Swimming in this greed

Time turns your heart cold

We’ve come so far

We’re not turning back

Your Heroin

By Chris Wirsig

Your Heroin

Don’t work no more

The needles are all broken

Too much is left unspoken

Drowned forevermore

Your wounds

Can’t bleed no more

The tears are (have) all flown

All the sorrows that you’ve known

Are now accounted for

And you go

Into the light

Of a new day…

Your heroin

Don’t work no more

The veins are closed too tight

No way to get it right

Gone forevermore

Your heart

Can’t race no more

The pressure was too high

For too long a time

So you open up that door

So you go…

Into the night…

And you pray…

That this is the break

You’ve been waiting for

The time of your life

You need to go

Down the golden road

You’ve been meaning to take

To the land of the living

Where nothing is fake

Anymore…

[break]

And you go

Into the light

Of a new day…

So you go…

Into the night…

And you pray…

That this is the day

You’ve been waiting for

The time of your life

You need to go…

Down the golden road

You’ve been meaning to take

To the land of the living

Where nothing is fake

Anymore…

INTERVIEWS[BW14]

There were many interviews over the years. Most are lost or forgotten. Audio and Video before the 2010s was hard and costly to create let alone store and distribute. Also, you are there for the interviewer not them for you, so the value of the material can be fleeting. Especially a lot of web stuff, one day a URL just vanishes and Wikipedia considers you to have never existed.

In other cases, the person doing the interview never provides the file or doesn’t want it distributed. They are busy and have moved on to the next interview. It’s why I push for a copy whenever possible.

We make our mark where we can, and what the rain doesn’t wash away becomes bones left for the picking. Some can be found below…

KSJS: Unknown (1991)

[Unavailable]

Discussion about “Experimental Behavior” with someone on a dance floor. A DJ who said he loved the albums and played them on air. I had no idea. I’ve forgotten the name.

San Jose Underground (1998)

[Unavailable]

Recorded in someone’s basement with Annikah and I very decked out in fetish fashion. We didn’t know what to expect and over prepared. It was broadcast on a local Television channel but we were never sent a copy. Video media was tough to share in those days.

San Jose Metro/Club F/X (1999)

The ironic thing is rather than publish the interview conducted at the Club F/X reunion party, they instead printed a somewhat insulting and sexist statement with Annikah and I’s photo. Club F/X was created by a gay couple who loved musicals. At 11pm and at Midnight dancing to 80’s, Darkwave, and Industrial music would suddenly stop and a scene from a classic musical would start - two scenes per night. Dyna (from Biohazard) got us access to the club to shoot scenes for “The Last Mechanic” movie and it’s lead actor was spotted during one of those “musical moments” at Club F/X. He was playing Tony from “West Side Story “and singing “Cool”.

KSJS: Orchestrated Noise (2000)

Jean Batt had started playing our stuff and asked us to appear on the show. They were breaking the Genius Book of Records for the longest continuous radio show broadcast.

I think there was another interview but so far have only found the one.

OK, moving on. "Beyond the Damage" actually was kind of the single for you guys here.

You know, got played a lot. I played it a lot and a couple of the other DJs as well.

Can you give me like a little bit of the background behind the track?

It's a long, sordid history.

A bridged version.

A bridged version, very quickly. The current version is a remix done by Deviant Six of "Enrapture".

I encourage everybody to listen to "Enrapture". My plug for them.

Went way back to a time in which I was thinking about the concept of getting beyond healing.

What do you do once you've healed all those wounds that you've been writing songs about?

So it's kind of a song about taking that next step.

OK, and just a little bit of background to you guys.

Kalib, you've been doing this a long time.

Yeah.

You gave me some stuff back from 1984.

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

I've been in a long time. And other people have come and go.

There's been a lot of members in the band over the years and they stay as long as they're getting what they need out of it and move on.

Anika's been with the band about three years now.

Slowly gaining more responsibilities and taking different things over.

I read somewhere that you started off as the manager of the band.

Yes, I did.

Kalib was doing the music and he was also doing art at the same time.

So he had gotten accepted to do a show at Stormy Leather in San Francisco.

And he kind of pulled me in on that project to orchestrate everything and make sure everything got done and put up at the same time.

That's how I started.

And when she knew it, she was sucked in further and further.

It kind of happened.

With art, this is something I wanted to talk to you about.

I come from this long family of artists.

Not just photography, ceramics, audio, everything.

But for you, what specifically are you doing at this point, art-wise?

Absolutely nothing.

I took a hiatus from being an artist for a year to work on the band and just focus on that.

What kind of stuff have you done in the past, be it photography, painting?

Everything.

You're in all of the above.

The biggest works were some digital photography work that was shown at Stormy Leather, got in Skin 2 magazine, which is a fetish fashion magazine out of London.

And then I realized I really wanted to focus on the band and the sound and really branch out what I was doing there.

So, come January.

Back to the art.

Sometimes you need to take a hiatus from it.

I have some of the older stuff queued up that you gave me.

This is sculptured meat.

See, I liked it because it reminded me of a lot of things.

Oh, man. I did not expect this.

Surprise! I told you, you've got to be ready for anything.

Oh, yeah. I hadn't taken you quite that seriously.

Now you learned your lesson.

Yes. Okay, sculptured meat. Vintage Audio Terrorist from when?

When was this one done?

1991.

Okay.

The former bass player, actually, was the engineer on this.

Well, here is sculptured meat by Audio Terrorist on orchestrated noise.

KSJS.

Greetings.

From the Italian Futuristic Cookbook.

Sculptured Meat.

There's nothing I would rather eat than in sculptured meat.

Alaskan salmon in the rays of the sun with marsauce.

Woodcock mountain rose with Viennese sauce.

Edible food sculpture.

Sea of equatorial poached eggs.

Seasoned like oysters and pepper with salt and lemon.

In the center emerges a cone of firmly whipped egg.

Full of orange segments looking like juicy segments of the sun.

Pasta cannot be considered a food which is easily digested because it dilates the stomach and unlike bread does not undergo sufficient preparation through mastication.

I believe that the use of pasta may be harmful to intellectual workers, to people who lead sedentary life and above all to people who allow themselves meat or other dishes as well.

My dear friend, do you remember that I once wrote, "Makarapititi belonged to the extreme right of the Futurist Parliament?"

Live FM KSJS San Jose, this is Orchestrated Noise and in the studio I have Kalib and Anika of Audio Terrorist and you just heard from Sculptured Meat.

Which they would not--

Way back, it's a way back machine.

Which you weren't ready for me to play.

I was not ready for that one.

[Laughter]

Yeah, it was just kind of something that for me when I first heard it was thought was really funny and it was just kind of this random silliness.

Is there something behind that?

No, it was random silliness that I think worked out well enough to put on the CD but wasn't something I spent more than ten minutes doing.

[Laughter]

Sometimes that's the best.

Well, you slave some tracks, you slave beyond the damage, it was six years to finally get that final piece.

So it's always surprising when after you've enslaved six years to the piece that took ten minutes.

It will strike people and you won't think twice about it because it was something you did off hand.

Just something a little random that just works.

Right, right, right.

The two in the morning stuff.

But it's nice to know those children get airplay as well.

Yes.

Another thing, Annika, you just worked on a film, right? A documentary?

Yes, I did vocals for a film called "En Mille" that was produced in France for French television about the year 1000.

Oh, okay. I hadn't heard of it yet. I kind of work with the movie guys and so I can pass that information on to them.

That's good.

And you've also worked on soundtracks to some... I'm just drawing a blank all of a sudden.

Is that some video?

Yeah, that.

That's ongoing.

That's kind of a...

Yeah, that's ongoing. Doing some tribal stuff.

Okay.

Which will be very interesting, working on tribal loops for it.

Okay. And any side projects that you're working on also at the same time?

Right now I'm so focused on the band that I usually have about 20,000 side projects.

And as Annika will say, this is a very rare time in my life.

Where he actually has spare time and he doesn't know what to do with himself sometimes.

I'm not kidding. I did two therapy sessions this last month so I could come to terms with having spare time and not being under stress.

That was the first time for everything.

Yeah, it's very foreign.

It's very foreign.

We're going to move into another track. Have the song "Branded" right now.

This is more recent, isn't it?

Yes.

This is on the album that you originally sent me.

Right.

So, here is "Branded" by Audio Terrorist on 90.5 FM KSJS San Jose. Orchestrated noise.

♪ ♪ [Branded]

Back in the studio here with Audio Terrorist.

You just heard "Branded" by them.

And we were talking about getting gigs

and the difference between art galleries

and actually working with the clubs.

And that you're hoping to get a gig with the Cactus Club,

with Requiem, fairly soon.

Is there anything--

I need to give them a call this week

and see if he's got the package and everything.

But I know that they're just getting started,

so no idea when that would be.

Yeah, so it's kind of let us know when it happens.

That will be in Oakland in October,

but again, he doesn't want to give us a specific date.

It'll be in the month of October.

Okay, so it's kind of like we'll keep people updated as it happens.

Yeah, yeah, so...

Is that the one at the Creamery?

Yes. Oh, it's called Live Culture.

Okay, this is the question that everybody has to deal with.

Hmm, I thought--

This is the one where--

Five more minutes.

It's going to take a little while.

If you could be any animal that you wanted to be,

what would that be?

Annika, you want to start that off?

The first thing that came to my mind was Emu,

just because the name is so cool.

I can't even remember what an Emu looks like.

I think it has long horns.

Long horns? Oh, okay.

Long, fast, that kind of thing.

Oh, God, that would take some time to think about.

I'm going to pass this one on to Kalib while I think.

Oh, boy.

I really thought this question was going to be easy.

You really mean it when you say stuff like this.

Yes, I do.

Come on, it's not that difficult.

Well, I have three animals.

See, that's the thing, I always think of too many things,

and now I'm sorting through a pile.

What are the three animals that you're thinking of?

Cats.

You know, you get to sleep all the time.

You know, you just get pampered.

I think that would be good.

Maybe a deer.

I like deer.

But I would be remiss not to say a squirrel.

Squirrels are fun.

Squirrel is the number one.

Squirrel is number one, that's most likely what you would want to be.

We have been in conversation with Audio Terrorist here,

a local fairly independent act,

and of course KSJS loves independent acts here.

And we're going to close things out with their version of "In My Life,"

a 90.5 FM KSJS San Jose orchestrated noise on Ground Zero Radio.

Thanks for coming in here.

Thank you.

Shaman’s Den I (2000)

[Unavailable]

Frank Moore’s first email said, “” by the end of the interview he said, “wanna play in my band”. The amazing part is he had been confined to a wheelchair crumpled up and unable to speak. He asked about up coming projects, after I was blathering how busy we are, etc. and stared into my soul and asked, “…what is your excuse”?

We mainly discussed the “Fracture” album, and did a live performance.

At some point after this we were invited to open up for Frank at “Burnt Ramen” in Richmond, California. The place was an indoors punk club in a very poor area and had once been a mini pork-packing factory. The sign was still on the outer wall. The backing track for “Beyond the Damage” kept resetting to the beginning and we had to fall back to Plan B. The punk rockers there were not happy that we had backing tracks and yelled “fuckin’ Milli Vanilli” clearly not realizing that was a case of lip-syncing while dancing - which we did neither. At some point someone tossed a cinder block in the dance space, and used lighter fluid to set it on fire. The owner dashed to the back of the club to grab what I presumed was an extinguisher, but no, he was getting more lighter fluid. I guess the flames were not big enough.

Kalib, Annikah, Thomas, and Pyke

Shaman’s Den II (2004)

[Unavailable]

Frank had us back for another performance and interview. I don’t recall the details.

I’d jammed with him on Piano and me on the HandSonic for what became the soundtrack to his movie “Feisto”. Had also performed with his “All Cherodic Band” a few times. The performances quickly devolved into a “wall of noise” affair as no one seemed interested listened to each other, just being louder than anyone else. This all happened while a gal gave Frank a lap dance and he howled like a wookie into his headphone mic.

We mainly discussed the “Hybrid” album, and did a live performance.

Kalib, Pixie, Makana, and Lita

East Bay Express (2006)

Kind of Bleu. There aren’t that many openings left for gothic, fetish-orientated electronica outfits in the East Bay club scene. To make it, you’ve got to be really enterprising and in touch with your fabulous side. Fortunately, Pixie Bleu, lead singer and lyricist for Berkeley-based group Cuir Bleu (Audio Terrorist) is both. Pixie says she could read or write - as a tot, she’d make up songs and dictate the lyrics to her mother (Bay Area’s cosmetics expert Zia Wesley). The singer cut her teeth performing in a production of “Hair” at the age three, and went on to accompany Barbara Streisand in the movie “Up the Sandbox”. Since then, Pixie has moved on to bigger, loftier bills, like the main stage at SF Pride, where Cuir Bleu played with the likes of Lisa Lisa. But you might catch her at Martuni’s Piano Bar in downtown San Francisco, if you’re lucky.

Cuir Bleu, also featuring laptop programmer and keyboardist Kalib DuArte, backup singer and choreographer Lita Fondle, and bassist Makana Morab, performs Wednesday night at Club Anton. They’ll arrive in full leather regalia with a slinky go-go dancer in tow - just to give the stage a little sparkle, Pixie says. This event, which also features Crooked Family and Avalon Rising, kicks off at 9 p.m., and costs $4 before 10 p.m., or $7 there-after. - Rachel Swan

Late Night Sinners (2008)

[Unavailable]

There is a version of “Brass Pole” with an introduction/shoutout/ad for this podcast. I know a whole interview was recorded, I think that is the only evidence. Will have to do some scouring one the web…

Karaoke Creation (2014)

Trailer: I went out and I saw all these fantastic performers and I also saw the crowd that was there, how supportive they were. When you're out at karaoke, you hear stuff from every era, every style, and people are excited by it. It's just like wow. it's only going to become more of a part of our culture [over time].

Video: [ Music ] There is a place where you can sing your heart's desire without judgment or fear, a place where everyone's a star.

I ran out of songs to do, and then I started hitting YouTube and finding instrumental versions of some of my favorite artists that are very obscure, and I started putting lyrics to that first. I said, "Wait a minute. If I'm doing this for Gary Numan, I could be doing this for myself."

[ Music ]

It's karaoke creation. Do it yourself karaoke.

[ Music ]

Starring Tyrone Stanford and Kalib DuArte [of Audio Terrorist].

[ Music ]

I'm Tyrone Stanford. Basically, I started like 20 years ago or so. Way back in San Francisco, the first club that I sung at was called Pier Street Annex. I won a trip to Hawaii, which I gave to my parents. So that was cool, and then that's what got me hooked, and I have been doing it ever since.

My name's Kalib, and in the karaoke scene, I go by Mr. K. I discovered karaoke quite by accident. When I first found karaoke, I had, I have to say, low opinion of it. I was like, "Oh, karaoke, that's where people sing really bad."

[ Music ]

We actually had a place called The Down Low, which is shut down now, but that was where we originally met. We started talking music and talking about songs, and then once we really started talking about music, I found out that he recorded, and, you know, he had his own home studio. Like, I always wanted to create a CD and have karaoke covers on there.

They say that karaoke is the next best thing to live performance, and it is. You may not have the backing band, but you have the music, and then you have this person that's representing the lead. The karaoke crowd is very, very receptive, and it doesn't take much more of a tipping point to simply get my own original stuff together.

[ Music ]

Yeah, let's just take it from the top. This is my studio, and I've been running

for a number of years. So we start off with Acid Pro, build a series of loops, and then once we have the music that we want, check it out.

[ Music ]

So once we got -- I built all the loops and had the fundamental track, and I got, you know, recorded my lyric idea, we bring that together and put it all in Pro Tools, and then Tyrone is able to do the vocal editing, recording, mixing, adding plug-ins.

Once that work is done, we're able to go into this karaoke making application and paste in all the lyrics, paste in the vocal version, and then I'm able to tap and sync up all the vocal pieces so that in the final karaoke, it's going to play the lyrics exactly in time.

So you have the full music production, karaoke production, rehearsal, and performance enabled in just a few pieces of software. And people start tapping their toes and bopping their head. You go, "Great. I didn't have to rent a van all year, put the band together, rehearse to have this moment."

[ Music ] [ Singing ]

[ Music ] [ Laughter ]

[ Music ] [ Singing ]

[ Music ] [ Inaudible ]

[ Music ] [ Singing ] [ Applause ]

Some people, that's all they want to do. They want to at least sing one song. They want to make one song. You have this little gem that you can now go out and perform this fantastic song live. It seems like it's a fundamental location for people to find out about you as an artist.

[ Music ]

Sonic Subversion (2015)

This was to promote “Boys of Summer” as a release for Chris’ band/brand NO:CARRIER. After this we did a live combo show with Audio Terrorist and “Tainted Love” was first played. Both tracks would end up on Audio Terrorist albums in modified forms.

Host: All right, it's the Sonic Subversion Radio Show. Well, first of all, we were just talking, there's an [Audio Terrorist] gig to plug at the Stork Club coming up. Come on, here you go.

Kalib: Yes, tomorrow Audio Terrorist will be playing at 8pm at the Stork Club in Oakland, California. It'll be featuring some additional players that have joined our lineup, including Lee Presson, from Lee Presson and the Nails, on keyboard and percussion, Chris Mahon, I hope I got his last name right, our new guitarist, and Lady Zeitgeist on bass and violin. Lady Zeitgeist performs around the city as Gypsy String Theory.

Host: Okay, we're changing microphones here. I know, and it's so hot in here, we apologize. It's just not the best conditions. It's the Sonic Subversion Radio Program. You're listening to No:Carrier plus guests. Go ahead, yeah, keep talking over there. Yeah, sorry, Jenster, for interrupting you.

Kalib: We’re going to play a song from the EP Ghosts of the West Coast. It's the Don Henley cover.

Host: Nice, I'm excited for this. The Boys of Summer, I guess.

Chris: Some people might remember that song from the 80s.

Host: Of course.

Chris: It's always been a favorite of mine.

Host: Uh-huh, very much so.

Chris: I always wanted to cover that.

Host: Uh-huh.

Chris: And with Kalib as guest vocalist on that song, it's really turned into that dark space that that song somehow has in the original.

Host: Yeah.

Chris: I'm always thinking it's about a stalker stalking his ex-girlfriend.

Host: Very cool, all right.

Chris: All right.

Host: No:Carrier, Boys of Summer with guest vocalist Kalib DuArte.

[Boys of Summer]

Chris: Thank you very much. That sounded great. Great version by the way. Thank you.

Kalib: All right I'm gonna draw Chris back in to talk about some more exciting secret

projects.

Chris: Secret projects that's interesting that they're so secret I don't even know about. No, really. Seriously. That is secret all right. I know you're subconscious. Well, we're working on new No:Carrier songs especially on an album probably due next year that will feature only biographies. Some obscure, some better-known. For instance Martha Beckett who lives in what's the name Death Valley Junction. She's a dancer there. She's already 85 years old. She founded the Opera House there. Not a lot of people living there but she always has performances.

Kalib: I actually heard of her.

Chris: Yeah, see. Some people know about her. And I wrote a song about her because her biography is just interesting and yeah some some more other biographies coming up there. And an instrumental album probably fall, early winter, around November or something if it works out.

Host: Fantastic. Thank you. You've been listening to the Sonic Subversion Show with our special guests here we have No:Carrier Chris Wirsig, Laura Lee Brown, and Kalib DuArte. All right more music here after.

Chris: Thank you.

Host: Okay I was gonna ask you next what the future plans are. Are you touring at all?

Chris: Not really touring. We will have a kind of a big show and our only full show this year in the city here in September on 24th.

Host: Oh excellent. At the Neck of the Woods. Where's that?

Chris: Oh yes that's in the Richmond.

Host: I’ve just been hearing about that. Is it a new venue?

Chris: I think they're already around for at least a year.

Host: Oh wonderful. I look forward to that. We'll be there for sure.

Chris: It’ll be fun. We'll have Cynthia will come over [from Germany].

Host: Sweet.

Chris: For that show we'll have Kalib with his band Audio Terrorist opening for us. We'll also have have Vice Rain, a synth pop duo from San Francisco as a second opener and then about an hour or so No:Carrier with Laura Lee as well and hopefully Melissa Harding from LA also.

Host: Great. Wow great. So what was the date on that again?

Chris: September 24th.

Host: Right very good. I was paying attention. Yeah well wonderful. Yeah well I'm gonna mark my calendar. Good to know. I'm anxious to check out that new venue as well. Alright well, stick around the Sonic Subversion program has about 40 minutes left.

Sonic Subversion (2016)

We were invited back to do a set of Audio Terrorist tracks and talk about the band’s history, and DJ tracks which inspired us. Some of the interview still exists.

[Black Leather]

[Applause]

[Pleasure and Pain]

Host: Would you folks mind real quick if I re-patched the signal a second? I think we can get an even higher quality situation going on.

Kalib: Should I play a backing track? Alright, let's try this on for size.

Host: Audio Terrorists is always rolled with the punches.

Kalib: You know, that's how you gotta do it.

Host: We've had server crashes.

Kalib: We've had everything you could imagine.

Host: But today we're gonna bring you this set, no matter what happens.

Kalib: Now I'd like to talk to you about a few things.

[The City]

Kalib: I'd like to talk to you about a serious subject now. One, two, three, four…

[Sex Toy]

Kalib: I think you can guess the name of that track.

Host: You’re listening to Radio Valencia.

[October]

Host: This is the Sonic Subversion Program with a live set in studio by Audio Terrorist.

Host: You're listening to Audio Terrorist on Radio Valencia.

[Sexy Bitch]

Host: Sonic Distortion.

Kalib: Alright, we have one more instrument change and one more song.

Host: But stick around, we'll be DJing another set right after our live music.

Host: I hope you're enjoying your Friday afternoon.

[We Are Done]

Host: And that's a wrap!

[DJ Set]

Kalib: Songs which inspired or shaped the band…

North Beats Radio [Solo] (2019)

Part One:

Welcome to North Beats from North Beach. I'm your host, Korey Luna, chatting with the people behind Electronic Music. Today I chat with Kalib Dwart. I met this guy at Resident at the show. He and I were sitting next to each other having a glass of wine. We start having a chat and right away we just click. Everything we're talking about, we know what we're talking about and we're having a great time. We talk about and we relate to everything that we talked about in the podcast. It was fantastic. We hit a lot, many subjects and we connected even more today when he and I chatted for over two hours today. It was absolutely phenomenal. A great guy to talk to. We've got 500 other topics to talk about next time we meet. We're going to do a beer tasting sometime. He's on the list. I'm already really excited about this podcast. Our conversation went phenomenally well. It's so wonderful to meet someone like him who's been in the scene for decades. For us to meet like this was just serendipitous. The fact that he listened to my album on the drive over to my place to do this podcast was very fantastic. Right away he asked me on the one track that you did vocals on, were you using an SM58 spot on? He was absolutely right. I am using an SM58.

That shows his expertise and experience in the field. Really amazing. A couple of shout outs. Check out Resident Frequencies hosted by Density and Time. Who is a guest on Peaked which I do with Rich Hogben over here in San Francisco the third Wednesday of every month. However, Resident Frequencies the first Sunday of every month over in Oakland. Check it out. Fantastic live show. Also please check out Resident. Another fantastic live show. You have to sign up for that one particularly because there's only six slots for that show. There's also video slots to get in on as well which are fantastic. We had Steve Pyle last night and my buddy Lenny Hamacher played as well. Fantastic. Carson also played. Great. Dylan909. Fantastic set. There's a fellow by the name of Will who played as well at Resident last night. Again, fantastic set. Very techno set. Really fun stuff. Kalib's website AsylumArt.com. That's his record label based out of here in the Bay Area. Please check it out. Check out his band camp of the same name Asylum Arts. Great content on there. This guy's been performing and putting out content left and right. Excellent stuff. A lot of variety. Please enjoy this conversation with Kalib Duarte. Kalib, thanks so much for coming over and talking to me about your music. Thank you for inviting me. It's pretty impromptu. Kind of surprising as I just met you last night. [Laughter] I think we kind of hit it off really quick within the conversation that we had last night at Resident. Yeah, you understood exactly what I was talking about. I understood what you were talking about and there was just that click and I'm like, "Let's do it." Yeah. You sent me a link to your album and I gave it a listen on the way over. I was really impressed by the sonic clarity of it and how it went together. I was like, "There's two tracks on there I want to sing on." Really? Sometimes I'm like, "Why isn't he singing on this?" I was confusing you with a couple other people I talked to and one of the other people that said they had been in a choir. I said- Was that Carson? Yeah. He performed. He did the vocal during the performance. I realized it was him. Because I said, "Oh yeah, I did choral singing from fourth grade into university." He goes, "Oh, I did chorus too." And I thought, "Wow, he would sound really great right here. I can hear the lyric piece." So I was surprised when no vocals came in. The album started off very- reminded me of David Sylvian who did a number of instrumental albums in the mid-80s. He had been a lead singer for a band called Japan, late 70s, early 80s. And then it took a turn and it went more like early Depeche Mode, 80s modular stuff. Yeah. And I was surprised by that too because when I've gone to resident frequencies and Frank stuff, I hear much more of the late 70s, like Vangelis or Giorgio Moroder and Walter, Wendy Carlos and all that, those influences coming out. And all of a sudden I was hearing on this recording coming in modular, like early 80s modular. And that surprised me. Is that an influence on you? It is. Yeah. I'm very much influenced from the electronic music coming out of the 70s and 80s, very much the 80s. I think that's probably been a huge influence on me very much so. And especially with the industrial music, I really adore, you know, late 70s, early 80s industrial music, Robin Grissle, Nitzer Ab. I could go on.

It's just- I can hear that. That also surprised me. It's something that's always been a staple in my mind of just the sonic grit is something that I really enjoy out of it. And there's a lot of them, and there's a lot of emotion in it. And it's something that probably resonates with me just because I'm not the calmest person. But I know that, you know, there's I've always had issues with a little bit of animosity, not so much anger, because I'm not a violent person, never was, but just frustration, probably. And that's something that's always been with me, although into my getting close to getting close to 40, that's really calmed down a lot. So that's not so much a thing anymore, but definitely still comes out in my music. Got it. By the way, I would not guess that you were getting close to 40. Thank you. I was thinking, oh, there's a big gap between me and him. And how does he know these artists? And maybe he was being more, you know, Lady Tron, the Knife, or, you know, more of that era of the 2000s. So that makes sense. And it definitely shows that you understand that music, and you have the capacity to create that kind of sound. But it didn't sound like you were being them. Like, oh, here's a Depeche Mode song. Like you're imitating. It definitely sounded like you, whether it was the more world music stuff, or the industrial stuff. And when it went from world into what I'd call a kind of electronic pop sound, I thought, okay, I hear this transition. And then when it went edgier into the industrial, I thought, why haven't I crossed paths with this guy? Thanks, man. And it all works. Thank you. Again, one critique I was giving earlier is I'd redo the track that had the vocal, the spoken word on it with a different microphone. Yeah, something I need to invest in eventually. Yeah. The SM58 was something that I acquired a long time ago for like close to nothing. So it's always been convenient. And it sounds better than my gooseneck from my MS2000. Yeah, and it's a workhorse. 58 is definitely a workhorse. The cool thing about microphones is there's so many inexpensive mics and mic modeling combinations where they'll do like a plug in in combination with the mic, maybe for 150 bucks. These days, you don't have to, you don't need a U87 $5,000 microphone to get a decent sound. I have, I've used on a couple projects, I used a, what is the name? It's like MMX something. It was 99 bucks. And the tone was really great for what I was wanting to do it. I found that if you pushed it at all, it would, it would not clip, but it definitely would distort. And you would get a almost like an over compressed at the top. But if that's the effect that you wanted, it was great. But I found with when we were cleaning up the vocals in, in post mix, you could hear that the vocals were being held back. I do have a KSM32, which I think was only like three, $400. And I only used it for some projects because it was too clean. But I could hear that for any acoustic guitar stuff. I could hear it for this too, because there's a lot of space in what you're doing. Yeah, something you might want to consider. Yeah, I definitely need to invest in a new mic eventually. It's definitely on the list of equipment that I need. Right? It never ends. Yeah, I actually got in my modules set. I'm not sure if you had a chance to take a look at it yet, but I got a module from this guy in England. I think it's one, it's like X1, one L, I forget is one three. I forget what it is, but he, he put out a mod, a module that is just an input for a CB microphone with the, with a gain. That's all it does. And then you can feed that audio into any other module you want. So I, that I just got that a couple months ago, so it's not on my album yet, but I've been playing around with it and I've had a lot of fun with it so far. Okay, so you can feed the gain out. Do you get it like a distorted? Yeah, it's not super distorted. It's definitely like a fuzz, but it definitely works better if you turn the gain up on it. Yeah. And you can actually get away with it sounding relatively clean by pushing the gain up still, but it's not, you know, it's a CD microphone. It's not, not amazing, but it works. It's fun. Sometimes it's about character. I was recommended the SM32 for an alternate project. A friend challenged me. I've been doing experimental music, goth industrial and sort of harder rock, dark rock stuff. And someone challenged me to do an album my parents would listen to and they're big country, country rock fans. So I took up the mantle and did the project and that's what I used the KSM for because it was very clean, very clear. But I found when I tried to use that microphone on other projects, you could just hear that it wasn't going to sit in with the mix. So playing with different microphones can have a big effect more than we think. So highly encourage you to explore that. Now we were talking earlier. I'm looking at this little Korg module and you said the beats on the album were done with this guy? Some tracks, not every track. Some tracks there's that, the Korg Volca beats.

I can't remember which track off the top of my head right now, but there's one or two tracks on there with that. And then there's also the TR-606 drum machine I also used. So I'd honestly have to listen back because I can't remember off the top of my head which one was which. I'm not familiar with this Korg. It's like a little small box. It looks retro, looks like it's from the early 80s, but it also looks absolutely contemporary. It's a current piece. Absolutely contemporary. Korg put out the Volcas over the past maybe four or five years and they've been very popular because they're inexpensive. They're less than, you know, over a hundred bucks, but maybe less than $150 for one unit. And they're very portable. I think you can power them off of six AA batteries. But overall it's really versatile, really fun. You can program your drum solos in there and your kits in there. And play around with it and alter the speed and delays on it. It's actually really fun. I had a friend of mine actually over the other day, him and his kid, he said he had his kid with him for the day and he asked if he'd come bring his son over to play around and, you know, play some jam out with us. And I said, "Yeah, come on over." So this is just this past Friday. They came over and my buddy fell in love with that drum machine. I tried to get him to play the 606 and he's like, "I'm not feeling it, man." So I gave him that and he's like, "Ooh, all right." So he started having a good time on that. Are these like little... Yeah, it's basically a touchpad. So kind of like, what am I thinking about? Like a booklet, you know, kind of like that, but a little different. But yeah, you can hit those and, you know, hit off your kicks, snares and drum and/or you can then you can program everything in and it'll play in sequence. So it has the touch sensitivity as well though. It does. Well, um... Because I remember the booklet I played back... I think it does have touch sensitivity. I don't think it does. Okay. The booklet I played back in '87, which took up like half a room, it had no velocity sensitivity. It was just on/off contact, little metal pieces. So it looks like that. Yeah, we'll plug it in later. It's very cool. Yeah. And something you can throw in your backpack or, you know, a side bag. It's really small, but it's well-designed. I think that's definitely something that a lot of companies nowadays that Korg had noticed was the technology is available to compact a lot of your synthesizers now and now you can go play a show by putting all your equipment into a backpack. And I've been doing that in San Francisco.

Like, you know, when I play resident or resident frequencies, I'm doing that. The best I can do, everything I can fit into a backpack, I'm going to do that because I don't have a car right now and I remember back in the aughts when I used to play shows and, you know, throw my bass amp into the trunk of my car and then the bass and everything else. And it was always a hassle. I'm sure you can relate. Yep. And so I've been happy to play shows where I don't need to bring my amp because there's a PA system and all we do is plug into a mixer and I can have all my tabletop stuff right there. Just, you know, very similar as last night resident. A lot of those people have, you know, very compact systems where it's maybe a modular system in a suitcase, which I also have now at that brown one there. And it's absolutely wonderful. Like I played, I took that out that the Korg Volca and Moog Minitaur brought out a sequencer and, you know, played a very minimal set last year and I had a good time doing it. The Pleasure and Pain Symphony that's up on Bandcamp was recorded at resident frequencies and then resident as the follow-up. And the setup, I think took me 45 minutes to unpack and set up and configure and arrange myself because a lot of the table layouts are all really modular focus. Okay, here's where your modular is going to go. Here's where yours is. So suddenly having a microphone on a microphone stand, a theremin on a microphone stand, and then the push on its own stand, and that's going to a laptop. And then I'm figuring out the power strip. That is one reason why I haven't played since February because I was like, well, let's wait till it gets a little warmer. And, you know, so the equipment's not being rained on when I'm pulling out of the car because it's taking me three trips from the car to get stuff and haul it up the stairs. And then it's taken me, you know, at least a half hour to set up microphones and cables and whatnot. So I think I will take a lesson from this conversation and rethink the setup. I mean, it was great that the push controller and using live and the theremin added, certainly adds an element that I can say is sort of unique to my performance. And the fact that I'm using a MIDI theremin and I'm building patches in a Korg module. Actually, for the shows in January and February, I bought the module I sold 10 years ago or over 10 years ago because I thought I wouldn't use modulers anymore. I'm like, oh, I'm all about loops now. But I so love those patches from 1992. And I saw one available from Japan cheap. I'm like, yeah, just get it back again. I had all the patches still in the theremin and I'm like, okay, let's do that for the show. But stringing that together, mic stand, theremin box, antennas, MIDI cables to the MIDI converter, cables to the MIDI box, audio out of the box. It's a lot to set up. So I'd like to put together something smaller than I was thinking, well, if I get down in this modular scene, that's a lot of cash to be putting in to build a module. But knowing that I can whip something like this out of the backpack, two units, maybe one for beats and one for knob tweaking. Yeah, my friend Lenny Hamaker, who gave that Korg Beats to me, he's got the Korg Volca sample. So you can actually put in samples and we actually played resonant frequencies last year in April. And he played a long snip of a movie in there. And a really great one from the network, a really good line out of a network in there. And we threw that into our set and we had a ball playing that set. That was a really good one. And he and I actually do a duo together called Imitation Growth.

So he and I are slowly working on, he was the first guy to play last night actually. So you actually saw him perform solo last night. So he and I are, we're working on our album, got like five tracks, trying to push ourselves to make maybe six or seven before we cut the album. Now you were telling me last night that you were using Theremin for your graduate program. So tell me a little, tell me more about that. So my master's program in multimedia started off with one intention and ended up in a radically different focus. And along the way I wanted to do an interactive piece with bodies. And the original idea was to use this brainwave monitor and I'd be in a big plexiglass box and people would interact with my body and change my brainwaves and then that would trigger MIDI events within a gallery space. So it was very MIDI focus. And that's where I started. And then more and more as I went through the program, I started removing myself from the art. It wasn't a focus on me, it was a focus on the audience. And I thought, well, how can I extract this? I can't put brain readers on all their heads to do this. And there was a, I was trying to remember last night the name of it, it was like a little magazine, maybe like six pages folded and stapled and it went out like four times a year and they had different bender circuit mods. Okay. And you would like get a, the famous was speak and spell. You get an old speak and spell at, you know, at the thrift store and you'd go in and solder. So I started soldering this stuff and circuit bending and there was a little thing, it's a $20 theremin. And being a fan of science fiction, I'm like, I know that sound. That'd be cool. And so I got the schematic and, oh geez, that was, I think Fry's, old Fry's electronics used to still have ICs and whatnot. So I may have to order them online, but I got a breadboard. I'd never done this before. And I started building this thing and built this little theremin unit that ran off a nine volt battery. And I thought this would be great. It's responding to body as being there. Since this is a body music interactivity thing, I could use that. And the final design was where you walked into a gallery space and there were these poles projecting out of the wall that had three, three wraparounds of barbed wire. So you'd go through kind of this barbed wire tunnel into the central space that was filled with this large fleshy weather balloon. So between the balloon in the center, this pulsating textured skin that had replaced me in a box as the sort of organic element. And then the sort of threatening or inorganic element was these layers of barbed wire, which we ran three times around the room. So three different layers. So each one of those had a little theremin attached to it. So as you came near it, all of a sudden, so you had this feeling of you're getting near something that's growling at you. And maybe it was screaming at you as you get really close to it. So people would come in the room and move around and that would impact the theremin. And then we had motion sensor lights that would, originally I was going to do, again, this all was going to be high-end MIDI, synchronized lights and brainwaves. And I just, I guess I got to be in my bonnet to like, whoa, let's back away from that and make this more organic. And I felt like the theremin would do that. And when I presented that to my professors, they're like, theremin? You mean that old 1950s radio frequency? Why would you do that when you could have high-tech MIDI picking the subjective notes in the ninth scale and, you know, very theory-based. And I decided that I wanted to go this more chaotic base where it literally, it just gave up control of the room to people moving around it. Now, it turned out that I needed to loan a power supply from a company that was like $10,000 to maintain exactly nine volts to this $20 theremin with all these people in the room. Because it would throw off the voltage and then theremin would just stop. So that turned out to be the hidden behind the scene, high-end piece of gear.

Wow. So that was the idea. And I've been influenced by a psychologist who had been a student of Sigmund Freud called Wilhelm Reich. And he had talked about the sort of natural flowing state of being versus an agitated state. And he was studying single cells and noticing that they pulled into a sphere when threatened, like an amoeba, or they would flow out when they weren't threatened. So my idea was to create, use the theremin and the lights and everything to create a space where people could go towards the center and this creature that sort of retracted itself away from the barbed wire. And that there would be a sort of more symbolic or abstract experience. So that was the idea. They signed my master's, so I must have accomplished it. That's fantastic. So I was curious about, and thank you for explaining that to me about your use of the theremin. Because I wasn't, from our conversation last night, I wasn't sure what your, if you were using theremin in your albums or if it was just with your, that project from graduate school. Well, it did go into the albums after that. So that was the initial thing. And theremins just weren't a thing at the time. You figure we went from reel to reel tape to samplers. You know, they were very limited. I was talking last night about the, you know, five and three quarter inch sampler that felt like a motorcycle. It's all steel. And then when the DX7 came out, oh, that has MIDI, even though it's implemented a little weird, like you have to offset all the numbers by one and whatnot. By the early nineties, you know, that was where things were at. Like, okay, MIDI is settled down. Everything's standard. We can have everything talking to each other and you can use samplers to have infinite amount of sounds. So the idea of going back to older technology like that, just wasn't on people's minds. But I think much like the modular scene right now, there's a kind of backlash that starts to happen. We're like, oh, this is too easy. There's a little too much control. And it starts feeling like you're working for the machine rather than interacting with the technology in a way that's creative. So Bob Mood could put out a theremin kit. And then I'm trying to remember the company that put out the Theremax (PAIA). They were all like, they were like a mail order magazine where you order in a big bag of resistors and whatnot showed up with a diagram that said, here, solder this kid. So I built one of those. I think it took about two days solid of soldering to solder the little motherboard. And so I started using that and I started putting that in some of the live shows as a kind of like concert intro at the beginning, something to get attention, calm the audience down and focus on, we're now going to start the show. So I'd have like a theremin intro. And then I found that some of the instability was cool and some of it wasn't. It's like, okay, it's just not working. I don't know why. And I got out, I guess, because I had done some theremin stuff and people had started posting some of my stuff, theremin stuff on the web, there was a little theremin community that started bubbling up. And Bob Mood obviously noticed this and put out his theremin kit. I don't remember which one that is. I don't know. He has several now, but got the kit. And then that got me the attention of a guy in England who was selling theremins and he wanted to break in the American market. So I started selling his theremins here. Some of them were like little toy, a lot of toy theremins. They were relatively cheap with just an antenna for pitch and that was about it. And I only found one person who could play one of those actual melody. It's a jazz guy. He's just using his fingers. You had to really have amazing control to do anything with it, but the larger ones were good. And he put out a module that converted the audio to MIDI.

So suddenly I could use all my synthesizers and samplers with the theremin as a controller. So I quite quickly moved away from the theremin sound. A couple tracks on the 90s albums have like an intro that's theremin or a tone, but for the live performances I would use something more atmospheric where I could do like a big wash sound and the theremin responds well to like a cello patch. And then in comes cello playing. The nice thing about the box for me, I have a decent ear. I wouldn't say I have a great ear. So the box would actually show me what pitch I'm playing and is it flat or is it sharp? So I had a visual support for what I was doing. And that's the setup that I played in January and February. Kind of hauled back out of the mothball. But yeah, so that was the theremin adventure. But I think by time... I don't know, I guess going into the last time I played it in a show before this year, probably was 2000, I got into loops. They were reliable. I could expect them to do what I wanted to. So like you said, with the small module, like being able to do a show and just show up and not have to be like, okay, setting up all this gear. It was great to just have a laptop with loops and boom, go do the show. Whether it was Acid Pro where I started or using live with the Push 2 like I do now. That was a little less chaotic. So that's my theremin journey. That's cool. I haven't used Acid since... I started using Acid I think in '99 and I don't think I've used it since 2003. It's kind of one of those forgotten platforms that I use Logic Pro X now. It's like, I don't need that. But that was... I did a lot of fun stuff in Acid. That was a good program. It's good. I enjoy arranging and Acid and the loop libraries allow you to quickly approach music like Legos, right? You don't have to go and handcraft every Lego block and you know, figure out the dye color that's going to make your block blue or red. I feel that's where modulars are. You're going down into the details and you're maybe blending the chemicals that will surprise you by turning the Lego block green. And then you build up these Lego blocks and then from there you compose out. If you're wanting to quickly throw a piece together, because I'm primarily a vocalist, if I want to throw a track together quickly because I have a song idea or I want to be inspired to write a song, Acid is great for that. Then I can just go paint, paint, paint. Here's my beats. Here's some bass lines. And now, okay, that's inspired me to do a vocal or a lyric. So I think it still has its purpose and Acid Pro 7 was the last version 11 years ago and that just got bought out by a company called Magix in Germany. And they put out Acid Pro 8 last year and 9 this year. So the product is back in the landscape and it's built into a full DAW by time 7 came out. But it was a little unstable. You want to perform live with it. Yeah. And live had really taken over the market in the meantime. Yeah. So I see what they're trying to make it into their version of live now. So it still has legs. And I was in there the other day and got a loop library up and quickly whipped together a little EP. And I was like, "Oh, I remember how fun this was. How satisfying that I can just like, over lunch, whip together a couple of tracks and be rolling." And that's its real charm. And they've bolted on some deeper components, but it's not like using live with like the Max plugin where you're really digging down in. And in the end, it's still not tactile. You know, your modulars, I'm looking over at these, I'm like pulling that plug, just hearing the plug going in to the patch and coming up with that patch, you're really... And knowing what each modular, each piece does and how they add together in an unexpected way is more satisfying than spending, say, four hours digging through a loop library of a thousand samples going...

Oh, I kind of like that one. That is, I think, they're fundamentally just two different experiences. Yeah, because with a modular, you really have to work at getting the right combinations of those modules together to get the sound you want out of them. And you can find something phenomenal that you didn't expect, which is one of the wonderful things of why I think a lot of people are going back to hardware over... Well, people are and they're not at the same time, but there's definitely, you've definitely seen that there is that community, especially here in the Bay Area, that there are people who want that hardware and they understand that there's going to be these interesting sounds that they didn't intend to make, but they're actually... It's surreal because when you're playing modular, you're interacting with that machine and you're getting a gratification out of it. And sometimes there's a push and pull with it where you're playing this modular, but sometimes it's playing you because it's creating something and you either want to make it do something else or you allow it to do that and then try to add to it. It's really fun. That makes sense. And you were talking about personalities earlier and the angst factor of industrial and I think I've spent most of my life being pretty control freak and over the recent years I've been learning how to let that go. And I see that as a part of the modular, like you said, the push and pull is you're letting go of that complete control. You're interacting and you're participating together as opposed to I've pre-programmed this, you are my dominion, I hit space bar and now we've got a concert, right? Which is a complete control, which I see like a... I don't mind like the DJ scene from in the late 90s because the technology still wasn't there yet, there wasn't that level of control. You had to listen what the turntable was doing and if your belt drive broke during a show, etc. It got to the point with live and the DJ scene where you could just set up your laptop behind your podium and you are complete control because you have imposed control on this thing from a month before the show. And it's really about the lighting working and the PA working versus the actual composition. You know the composition's gonna work, you dial that in. And if you're there to dance and have a good time and see a light show, cool. But if you're there thinking more from a band aesthetic, like I'm gonna see this virtuoso person play an instrument, then that's just not happening, that's not a part of the experience. And what I'm seeing everybody do at the modular events is they're playing those instruments and they're imposing a certain structure in how they're setting up the patches. But I see people's faces after they're done, it's not "yeah", it's this "hmm, that was interesting". Like something went awry, something either took over or went off in an unexpected direction. Yes. So I posted last night that electro-punk is alive in San Francisco.

Because it made me think about that idea of punk, which fundamentally has the philosophy of the lack of professionalism. In several ways, one, the idea that everybody gets to get in, everybody gets an opportunity to do their thing. And also the idea that this highly crafted, perfectly produced, blah, blah, blah, blah, sort of sanitizes the experience too much. And you just don't know that the guy is going to start playing the bass guitar with his teeth, or... And he didn't even know he was going to do that a moment ago. There's a vitality in that. And I see that both at the modular groups. It's more experimentation, but also less direct control of the result. It's like more of a dance. Definitely. That's a very good perception. It's a really good perspective. I like that. Makes a lot of sense. Now, I'm curious to know a little bit more background on you. I was curious to know if you could elaborate a little bit more on how you started getting into music. So my mother says that I would kick in her womb whenever they would go to a party and there was music playing. So she said, "Oh, I knew from the get-go you're going to be involved in music." I remember first grade, the first time a teacher played me a piece of music and said, "Listen to a classroom." Second grade, I remember I wrote my first lyric. And I think I was aware... Well, I was aware certainly of radio. And my parents definitely played music. It was largely on my mom's side, more of a Hank Williams Jr. old country style. And my father's side was a little more pop rock, the Neil Diamond kind of thing. So those were influencing me. At some point along the way, I recognized I had an affinity for British pop. And some of the stuff was different. Like I appreciated the Motown sound, that American sound, but there was something about the British music that connected with me. And I wanted to sing along with it and wanted to sing. So in fourth grade, I joined choir. And there really wasn't much else. I grew up in South Bay, in San Jose. And there just wasn't much outside of country. And maybe you can get in choir at school. That was it. So I joined choir and that gave me a lot of experience around melody development, obviously all classical composition and whatnot. So that influenced me pretty heavily. But I always liked pop. I always wanted to do like a Beatles song or be Paul McCartney. And I had a high soprano voice, so I could do Paul McCartney until my voice changed. But when my voice changed, it just all went to crap. It's like I struggled to sing in tune. Couldn't tell. My voice was breaking up in the tenor range. If I get down too low, then it's a gravel situation.

So I really struggled vocally, but I kept doing jazz choir and concert choir. And jazz choir got me more amplified microphones closer to what I wanted to do. But from a production standpoint, I didn't have any resources to do production. And I was struggling with the voice. But I did have a cassette tape recorder. And how Audio Terrorist, one of my longest running projects, got started was literally, I'd read this quote from a Kathy Acker book, Blood and Guts in High School. No, no. Yeah, yeah. It was in Blood and Guts in High School, about a terrorist is someone who surprises people. I thought, oh, that's an interesting definition of that word. So why not be an Audio Terrorist? Like, just do stuff that's surprising. So I would take my cassette recorder around. I'd record friends, oh, the batteries are going dead. That sped up the tape. So when you played it back, they're now like Mickey Mouse.

Okay. So I'd allowed all those mistakes or frustrations or my lack of skill to become almost like a pressure cooker, a driver of that frustration. When you mentioned the frustration earlier, I'm like, yeah, that's probably why I got into industrial too. And I just started banging on stuff. We had a piano. I'd bang on the piano and spin a record backwards with my finger and just anything to be doing something creative and sonic. And so Audio Terrorist was born with that. And the first, I'd say three full albums, I'd say the fourth one was more of a compilation with extra stuff. I would produce these albums. And sometimes it was a friend, it's two in the morning, we're in a hotel at a science fiction convention, and he's playing on the piano, and people are coming up drunk saying crazy things to us. And I'd record them talking and then chop up the tape, a razor blade and scotch tape and put it back together.

All that stuff was, again, I really just wanted to do pop music, but it just seemed like pop music didn't want to do me. And I thought, well, I'm going to hack my way into something. And that's how I got into doing that, the more experimental stuff. And then while doing choral work at San Jose State University, it was considered one of the top choral groups in the world. But I knew that my passion fully wasn't in it. And I saw a recording class come up. I took this little recording class, probably a quarter size in this room, had a four track reel to reel, little mixing board, had a Juno keyboard that where you could program maybe like 16 notes in a row. So you hit record on the tape recorder and hit play, and then I'd pause it and then I'd program the next 16 notes. And did this tonal cluster version of "Für Elise." And that was my first working in the studio piece. That got me to know my mentor, Dan Wyman. And Dan goes through four John Carpenter films. So most famously, the Halloween soundtrack is really Dan Wyman. It's not John. John gets the screen credit because that's a different contract than the actual music. And so Dan really influenced me in that he was the recording guy at the university. And there was another guy who was supposed to be the electronic music guy, Alan Strange. And him and I just didn't get along. And I thought he was so focused on the technical that he now never allowed his students to be creative. He was more concerned about their reputation that they knew that that was a diminished nine chord in a microtonal scale by Wendell Carlos in 1972. He was seen as the more avant-garde, but what I found was under Dan, I could be avant-garde. I didn't have to explain what I was doing. And the audio terrorist stuff continued to grow under him. And the studio, and that's the foundation of everything. And then I went into the master's, worked on the theremin, started getting better equipment and wanted to go a little more like a dance style and just couldn't do it. Everything came out like I had three legs or like music for people with three legs. So that went on for a long time until really Acid Pro where I could just paint in, okay, here's the beats, it's already set. And I know this is going to work. So it was a long time of more experimental focus, couple live bands thrown together, but they never lasted very long. And doing the studio experimentation and live shows with that. And somewhere along the line, more fetish fashion came in and stuff started being more focused towards that community and the kink community probably by the late 90s. So I got invited to do shows like at Folsom and different events around San Francisco and whatnot. You've got an album that's music you've played at Folsom, right? There, oh, that, you looked at my band camp. Yes, I did. That was actually the practice for the band, live band that we played Folsom last year. Oh, okay. That was their practice tape or whatever. Cool. So that was a collection of like minus tracks and whatnot for them to practice to for the live show.

But yeah, we did. And then after 9/11, I was really concerned about the band name. And I'd recently had a recording session in San Francisco. The singer wasn't able to make it. A gal I was dating at the time sang. So she sang on the songs and just whipped out her book of poetry and started singing completely different lyrics and vocals to the same music. Well, that was easy. Cool. Let's do that. So the band got rebranded Queer Blue, which means blue leather for at least six years. And that's kind of gone off and done its own thing. And I've rolled some of that material back into Audio-Terrorist by covering it myself. And so that was the focus during the early 2000s. And I still maintain some of those contacts and do some work in that space. Then I really felt like Audio-Terrorist was my passion. So I wanted to focus on that.

And so I kind of rolled that back in starting in 2008 to the present. And that's pretty much it. And through, I would say through loops and then getting to know more musicians, I've gotten to do more pop song like material over the last decade. So I got to that point and then I felt like the creativity had gone out of it a bit. And I can't remember how I ran into Frank Martin, but ran into him and he goes, "Oh dude, you should go to these two events." So I did resonant frequencies and that completely, you know, no vocals, no intended beats, all experimental. And it was a nice kind of, I felt like a homecoming and a full cycle back. So it wasn't like I was doing it out of frustration, not being able to do something else, but I was doing it because I liked doing it. That's the whole tour. Cool. Right back, I'm gonna grab another beer. Cool.

Part Two:

I did miss one part of the story. In the late 90s, I was trying to remember if I was talking to you about this, there was another folding back of the art letting go, in that I was doing Audio Terrace, I was doing more structured songs, more pop, or I don't know if you'd call it pop, but synthesized lyric melody stuff, and a guy named Frank Moore in the East Bay reached out to me and said "Hey, I'm doing my Sunday webcast, would you be on my show? You'll play for maybe 20 minutes, half hour, and then I'll interview you for like a half hour." And I said "Yeah, sure." And the gal who I was dating at the time was also in the band, and I'd become again less confident in my vocals, so we would trade off, songs that worked for me, songs that worked for her. So we came, we did our two vocal sets, we backed each other up, and then he interviewed, and the interesting thing about Frank was Frank had never spoken a word in his life, he's passed now, and he was confined to a wheelchair. And I had been thinking "Oh, okay, I need to work in the tech sector to fund my art, and I gotta find time to do my music," and had all this thinking around production, and "Oh, I need to be promoting this," or whatever. And now you're sitting down with a man in a wheelchair who cannot speak, he's been confined to a wheelchair all of his life, unable to speak and communicate to any other human being. And I'm looking around at a house, his partner, their mix engineer, live in help, their house is painted like this tie-dye color, they've got a van outside, or like SUV outside painted tie-dye, there's a house down the block painted tie-dye, where their students live. Frank has this whole shaman program where he teaches people how to let go and be themselves. And he's all doing this from in this knotted up shell, sitting in a wheelchair. Wow. And you told me last night he had cerebral palsies? He had cerebral palsy, if I remember correctly. And it lets you go, "Wait a minute, how am I limiting myself?" And he would point blank, yet a person came along in his 20s and put a headband on him with a pointer where he'd point out letters, and then someone could read for him, and be his voice. And that unleashed this highly intelligent individual from their cage. Wow. So you're sitting there and you're just blown away, and you're thinking, "Oh, I got to work on that next EP or single, or I'm having problems with my beats, whatnot." And this guy's looking at you like, "Get over yourself. Go do something, just do it. Do it all the time. Have fun with it. Why are you torching yourself over this?" And he's interviewing, and after a while, you would stop, you would see his eyes, and you would stop hearing his wife's voice. It was like his voice was getting in your head. And he's going along asking this question, and I'm maybe blah, blah, blah, and he was kind of like just, "Okay, let's cut the shit. Let's cut right to it. What excites you about life?" Okay, wow, okay. You kind of talk that a while, and then all of a sudden he says, "Oh, by the way, my band's performing this Saturday. You want to be in it?" And you realize the potential of someone sitting there, no technology, just a pointer stick on his head, and how much he can create with that. And what a force of nature that can be to have a tool. That was sort of his modular synth, right? He just had this placard with letters and a pointer, and someone who was willing to read it for him. And he invited me over to jam with him. He would do Sunday jams when he didn't have a guest to interview. And he said, "Come on, let's jam." They show up and he's got his hands all wrapped in bundles, so he can bang on an acoustic piano. And they got a head mic on him, so he can howl like a Wookiee is what the sound engineer called it. And I was improvising on an HP-15. These came out about around 2000, something like that. It's a Roland unit. It had a motion sensor for triggering samples. It had two different faders and a series of pads. So you could improvise different sound samples and kind of roll, set it to do like a drum roll by pressure. And so I'm jamming on this and Frank finishes up and said, "Oh, that was really cool. You know, we should do that again sometime." "Oh, okay. That's cool." I go away and the next week a package shows up in the mail. It's a VHS tape of a movie that he stars in as an alien who's been discovered by a fashion designer in the woods of UC, Cal, and who has the magic powers to make people's clothes fly off. And what we jammed on has been edited to be the soundtrack for this film. Oh, and by the way, here's a CD with the remix. And you're just blown away. So that, I think at that point I had felt the experimental stuff was almost like me being a hack because I couldn't do the pop thing. And that freed me up to actually see it as a thing. Even though I liked experimental music myself, I felt like my own experimental music wasn't as valid until that moment. So Frank gave me that. Wow. I can't imagine how fantastic it was to know him. It sounds like he was someone that was able to touch many people without even having a real voice. Yeah. Quite an amazing skill. And to touch his inner core of people, to provide him the physical support that he needed. I remember he said, "You want to be in this show I'm doing this other weekend in San Francisco?" And I said, "Yeah, sure." He goes, "Bring your theremin. I want a theremin in the show." I said, "Okay." And I got there and there was no elevator. There was a two floor, there was a bar below and the second floor was where we were performing at the stage. And you realize someone had to carry him up that flight of stairs. Wow. And it wasn't a small guy. And I'm like, wow, to have that engagement with people and empowering others so that they empower you, support relationship. The show was interesting. At some point, nobody could hear the theremin because of the cacophony. It was so intense. He would play there and he'd play in a place that used to be in Richmond. I don't know if it's there anymore. Burnt Ramen was the name of the place. Oh my God. It's like a punk club that was off the grid. It was an old pork packing factory. Yes. I think I went there once back in the aughts. And my older brother, who he and I got into music together back in the late 90s, we started a band called Midnightmare and it was a metal band. And I dropped out within maybe a year or two. But the band kept going for many years and it quickly evolved into a punk band. So they played Burnt Ramen all the time. And it might still be there. I honestly have not been there in over 10 years, but it might still be there. It was definitely pretty off the grid. Yeah. I don't think they had any license or anything like that. No, they just did things. And I remember the owner during one of the shows just came out and threw some cinder block in front of the stage. And then someone threw a match in it or a rag that had fire. And so there's this little fire happening in front of the stage and the cinder block. And you see the owner coming in. And I thought, "Oh, this guy's got to grab an extinguisher and put this out." He reached in his back pocket and it was one of these yellow kerosene squeeze cans. And he just starts squeezing kerosene on it to make the fire bigger. And I thought, "Okay, this is the owner doing this. Okay. This is definitely a different kind of spot." Oh, geez. Yeah. I'd be curious if it still exists because I think that's something the Bay Area has been progressively losing. That's true. Yeah. A lot of that anarchy of space has been disappearing. That's true. Especially after Ghost Ship, that was a big loss. That's a good point. When I visit my parents, you know, because the trial's going on, I see the news on that. And when I first moved, I grew up in San Jose and then in '98, I finally listened to all my professor's advice, "Get out of San Jose." Because whatever you're learning here, you're not going to be able to do here. And my mentor in grad school, Barbara DeGeneve, who's a gallery photographic artist, she was like, "You got to be in Oakland." And I moved to Oakland. I moved to a warehouse space. And it wasn't one that you could really doll up too much, but I certainly could hang all my pieces on the wall and do a gallery show there and have the studio there. But all the other ones over by High Street, you could go over there and you could glue plastic beads to the sidewalk to make a mosaic or whatever. And there were definitely parties where it was definitely like an alternate reality space. And you had those opportunities to create communities like that. So I can imagine that Ghost Ship kind of put the nail in the coffin of that. Yeah, before that happened, between 2006 and 2010, my girlfriend was at Mills College and I was going back between San Francisco and Oakland to go visit her. And I spent a lot of time in Oakland within those four years. And in that time, she knew all the cool dudes in the music grad program, these two twins, Chad and Curtis McKinney. They were musicians and they were all doing amazing stuff. They knew how to play guitar, bass, keyboards, everything, programming. They did it all. And they've got their own lives and they're doing great. But through them and some other people, we were going to all those shows in those warehouses in Oakland. And we'd be in these weird spaces where there'd be, I can't even, there'd be like a stack of cakes over there and then there's a piano over there and then there's a couch here in the communal area where everyone's jamming and playing together. And it was fun because there was all this chaos around you and yet everyone would still come together and create fantastic music. It was an interesting time. But I think you're right that that's disappearing from the Bay Area a lot right now. And that it's being cracked down and even myself, since I got back into playing live music, my girlfriend being concerned after GoShip because we lost a dear friend to it, and as everybody did, she's always concerned about me going out to play the shows. And so I encourage her, I say, "Hey, come with me so you can see the space that I'm going to go play in, that you know I'm going to be safe. It's not, nothing bad is going to happen." So resident frequencies, it's a safe space. Resident is a safe space. My friend and I who do Peaked is extremely a safe place. So that's one of the things that as a performer I am more aware of now because of that horrible loss. The last seven years got a little different for me because I was part of all those communities in the East Bay and so I didn't have the same impact in my life in that I moved into a very different life and so I still had twice removed people or, you know, more distant. But certainly from the experience of being in those spaces and performing in them, felt it and felt that loss of a place where you can be creative. And yeah, so I didn't feel it as directly as you did because of that. Because I'd gone seven years ago, I decided to go work corporate job, save up money that I hadn't saved earlier in my life. And so I was somewhat detached. And then a year ago, this month, July 1st, a year ago, I decided to resign from my corporate position and take a year off and get back in touch with my art side. And that's one reason why the residents and resident frequencies and meeting you and whatnot, that's all, meeting Frank, that's all rekindling all of that. And so I'm kind of coming back after being away and saying, "What is here? What is left?" You know, I've listened for six years about the gentrification of San Francisco and Oakland and, you know, are any of those haunts still around? Having said that, your point is, yes, they are, but not the way they were. Yeah, like people have, enough has gone wrong. Now I was saying Oakland, I know during the trial recently, someone said they had seen someone set the fire. And if you look at the last two years in the news, warehouse have been set on fire by arsonists for the last several years. I don't know about you, but I have not heard of who's been caught with this. Several apartment complexes that have been going up have been burnt to the ground. And that might be a different thing, that might be an anti-gentrification attack. But you also have to wonder in cases like the warehouses, with the pressure of housing, whether or not warehouses districts are being torn down, or this is used as an excuse to push artistic communities so we can build more apartments. So, there may be a battle going on there that we don't even know about. I am unaware. To your earlier point, as a performer, is there other places that are safer for me to be? I would say probably. Yeah. I think it's something that you have to think about now, is your safety as a performer. I think it's a scary thing, actually, that we really have to think about, am I going to be getting home today from a gig? Which is kind of weird, because sure, when I was doing gigs back in the early aughts, we were too excited to be going to the gig and playing to care about if we were going to be getting home safe. Getting older, you do think about those things. I'm thinking about survival research laboratories. Do you remember them? No. So, late 80s. I'm thinking about a show, Mark, I think was one of their founders, Soma, used to have a lot of spaces like that. And I think that's all completely long gone. But I remember in the 80s going to a gallery show that was like industrial art. It was like dangerous industrial art. And down in Hunter's Point, there was a big warehouse out there that now there's like more like electronic rave kind of stuff. Yeah. But back then it was very industrial. I remember going to a show, being the bleachers, and they were spraying gasoline everywhere and lighting it. And it was like, there was a car, a guy in a clown head on this car that was this super-heated rocket engine. And anyone could have killed the audience. And we were there watching this extreme industrial performance space, like they would shoot fluorescent tubes that would explode, and there'd be like a fluorescent tube used as like digital watch on the counting numbers. It was very creative stuff. But then I look back and say, "Wow, that was hazardous. It was a hazardous experience." And yeah, as you get older, you start thinking, "Hmm, that probably wasn't too wise." At the same time, since I did survive that, I'm glad I had those experiences because they’re…

Part Three:

They are. Yeah, you're right. So, between last night and this afternoon, I took the time and looked at your website, AsylumArts.com. Mm-hmm. And I'm curious to know more about it because is that your label? Yes. Okay. It's a record label I started for my own stuff and then I found friends who were stuck on this idea of getting a release out. They either didn't know how to or they just didn't want to know. They wanted to focus on being an artist and producing material. And I said, "Yeah, I'll release your stuff." So it used to be a little more complicated. Now pretty much it's, you know, get it mastered and polished up enough to put on CD Baby, pay the 50 bucks. Boom, gets distributed to all these different outlets, iTunes, Amazon, whatever, YouTube, and it's out. And from a technical standpoint, that's become a really easy process. But from a psychological standpoint, a lot of artists still struggle with making that one little jump.

And so Asylum Arts has helped the people on the label and associated with the label do that and do that more regularly. So that's what Asylum Arts is about. And Bandcamp showed up and of course now I'm like every scrap of a little cassette or anything that's around that I want to exist somewhere in case I have more hard drive failures and the work is wiped out forever, it exists at least somewhere. That's become a place where now I stage everybody's stuff and then when it's polished enough or arranged in a final form, then I'll move it to CD Baby, sort of lock in for history. And yeah. - Are you using - so what's the life of Asylum Arts now? Is it - are you using it with Bandcamp or are you using Bandcamp a little bit more now? - No, I have an Asylum Arts Bandcamp page that has all the different artists. And I've been porting stuff there so it exists there as well. I never really got into SoundCloud. I do have an Auditorium SoundCloud where I post like maybe 20 tracks. But I've never really nurtured that. With Bandcamp I can take a demo version, like you mentioned the Vampire's Ball, which I released - I consider Bandcamp a pre-release. Those aren't really full releases. Those are my pre-releases. All the full releases are there. But in addition, something like Vampire's Ball where I'm not ready to put it in CD Baby and lock it down forever. Because I think how the mastering works between track two and four is not - doesn't have the right level and I want to do an arrangement. But I want to listen to it and I want to play it, share it with friends. So they can listen to it and say, "Oh, that's cool. He's got something new out." And then I can pull it and I can update those tracks. On Bandcamp you can say, "Track two, the levels of the intro is off. Let me fix that." So now I'm putting the intro level a different way and I just hit "Replace Track" and upload the new version. So it's a dynamic place where the anxiety of, "Oh my God, is this the final master?" goes away. And I can say, "Hey guys, I'll put it up on Bandcamp as is right now and then you guys can listen to it." And a year from now you say, "Hey, we have a new master." Great. Then we can just replace it.

Where again in CD Baby you're locked in. That's going to be the release forever and you'll have to release a V2.0 as its own thing as opposed to this sort of interactive space where I get to revise things. So I found that to be really useful about Bandcamp. I didn't know that you could actually revise tracks from Bandcamp. Even after publishing. I did not know that. That was definitely something that I was having thoughts about when I put my album out in March that you listen to. That I need to get it done so I can publish it on Bandcamp and I can't publish it on Bandcamp until it's mastered and done and ready to go. But now you're telling me the opposite. I can take those tracks down and reload them. Now that we're living in this streaming universe, it's a whole different game than, "I'm releasing this so it's locked in." You're going to download the files or you're going to get a physical media, whether it's CD or unbelievably cassette. And thank you Guardians of the Galaxy. And whatever way you're going to approach that, I find I'll release something and then go later, "Oh, track two actually should have been track three. The flow would have been a little better." I want time. I don't want to have that anxiety hanging over me. I want time to explore that. So quite often with Bandcamp, I don't try to sell on Bandcamp. I haven't marketed to stuff on Bandcamp because it's been a way for me to post things and me say to a friend, "Hey, listen to the new album. What do you think?" And they say, "Oh, track two is a little low in the mid bit or the song order is a little off." And I go back or I'm listening in the car and I can go, "Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right. I think track four would be a better position there." And then just go up to the computer. Not only can you replace the track that you've uploaded, but you can shift the song order. So you're essentially pre-mastering, maybe not final mastering, but you're pre-mastering by thinking about song order and levels and this song flows into that song better. And I just use it for myself to listen to the albums while I'm finalizing it. And to do that before, I would have to go, "Okay, now I've got to fire up the old Mac." And is that a PowerPC, by the way? No, that's a Mac Pro. Yeah, but you know what year? 2009. 2009. So it's 10 years old. Got it. Yeah. Because I have the quad PowerPC in the similar case. Like, "Oh, I got to fire up that because that's got a CD burner." All right. It's like most of my stuff doesn't have CD burning capability. So I'm going to go burn that and I'm going to do an arrangement in iTunes or in an order and then I'm going to burn the CD and then I'm going to put it in the car. Now when I'm working through something, I go up to Bandcamp, create an album. You can publish it just for yourself. You don't have to publicly publish it. That's true. Yeah. And I can set it up, upload the tracks, rearrange it, say, "I think this is it." And then stream it in my car. So no longer have to have a stack of CDs that I'm burning through for my mock-ups. And I don't have to keep that old machine going. It's just liberated me. So I'm a huge fan of how Bandcamp is designed. And everything you do in Bandcamp, to do it is obvious. Like to replace the track on a track, there's a word that says "replace." And that might sound simple, but I've struggled for a year with Spotify. I have not even gotten into Spotify yet. It's like, am I in my album account? Am I in my artist account? And what I finally realized is internally to Spotify, they're thinking themselves as Facebook. So they're seeing themselves not as a content developer releasing, they see themselves as fans of music who are interacting. Oh, okay.

So I'm like, why is this so difficult? This should be brain easy. CD Baby is dead easy. Bandcamp is dead easy. Are you familiar with Balanced Breakfast? I'll give a shout out there as well. I don't know. So Balanced Breakfast started in San Francisco several years ago. Stefan and a buddy of his were having breakfast and so they called this Music Community Balanced Breakfast. It's exploding both nationally and internationally with communities. So twice a month in San Francisco, now once a month in San Jose. Napa has one now. Oakland has one. I think now Seattle has one and Austin has one. I think there's in Bogota, Columbia now. They are just once a month or twice a month get togethers where people that do anything related music get together for two hours. And the San Francisco one usually has a guest speaker. The San Jose one, it turns out the reboot that I went to, we're doing a book club. So we're reading Ari Hirshan's The New Music Business. And we're going to do a report out on the 22nd, I think. And so it's a great group. There's a lawyer sitting here. There's a standard singer performer there. There's got a punk band there. And we might be listening to someone tell the story of their music career, much like we're doing today. Or it might be, "Hey everybody, we're going to do an exercise. Fold this piece of paper this way. Write on this piece what you hope to achieve this year, whatever." And that community interaction has been fantastic. I can't remember why I went off that tangent direction. We're talking about band camp. We're talking about- Oh, easy to use. Easy to use versus Spotify versus band camp, CD Baby. So what I've figured out with Spotify is Spotify is more like Balanced Breakfast. It's community. It's not more of a record label model like CD Baby or band camp. And the Balanced Breakfast in San Jose had a playlist and they said, "Hey everybody, add your song to the playlist." And as a content developer, I'm thinking I'm going to go into my Spotify for Artists account, look at my library of songs and choose one to add to their playlist because it's been opened to me as a contributor. That all made sense, right? You can't do that. Not on Spotify. Because Spotify is customer interaction focus. So what you have to do is you have to log into your fan profile as a listener and then recommend a track to the playlist. So you have to look yourself up as a fan would look you up and then recommend you to the playlist. And that took me hours to figure out just because it was a different mindset to how the tool was developed. And I'm finding a challenge with some of the newer platforms like that because they have a viewpoint to how the software is designed and they're not communicating that viewpoint up front. And it's not obvious to me as a content provider. YouTube is something similar. I have my YouTube for Audio Terrorist, like the Audio Terrorist official artist page. That's a whole another journey to get an official page. And how I log in to get to my videos, but then how to edit them, but then how to sit. It's like these different, it's almost like having three different software applications on your desktop and you have to log into different ones to do different things. And somehow they sit together, but how they sit together isn't obvious.

So YouTube and Spotify even more so, that's the case. And us as the customers have, from what I'm hearing people say is, "Well, you just got to learn the tool." So it's not on the software manufacturer to make the tool work. - It's on the person to make it work. - Yes, and to figure out what they're thinking. And I... - And their mindset of who the programmer, get in the mindset of that programmer basically. - Yes, and the company and the company's mission. And I have another shout out here. I have a blog on Facebook off of my main page, off the Kalib Duart page called Software Sucks. And it literally is just there so that I can rant somewhere and I'm not ranting on my main page because I want my timeline to be focused on the music, like you, this podcast, Balanced Breakfast, what's kind of going on immediately in my life. But I hit this sort of software stuff all the time. So I've created Software Sucks and just post the frustrations over there instead. - That's a good structure, I like that. That makes a lot of sense. - Maybe I'll promote that at some point, but for now it's just a parking space. But I find talking to people through Balanced Breakfast that there's a real need there. I'm a member of Rick Barker's, I'm not sure when my membership runs out, but an annual membership Rick Barker's a guy who does like how to do social media for artists. You pay him several hundred bucks and then every week you get to log in for a couple hours and listen in and ask questions. And his focus is on the music business. Like if you want to be a pop star, this is how you do that. And he feels you should go figure out how to do things. Like that's not his job. So he'll quite often say to the artists, look, Spotify just changed what they're doing last month. I can let you know things have changed, but I'm not going to teach you how to do that. What I'm going to teach you is that you need to write your story and your story is what you sell these days, not your music. So that's the level he's operating at. The level in between, the how to use these tools, there seems to be a real gap there. Some people just intuitively get it, I guess, because maybe they use Spotify as a customer so they know how it works. But doing Google searches, looking at the help files on the platforms, I find there's a real gap there. And I, iOS, same thing. It went from this very simple intuitive and to now I have the double finger flick up here to go there and then when I should just be able to click and it happens. So I find UI design right now for us working on music and interacting with all this technology is personally I believe is going through some challenges. Little off topic maybe, but... That's okay, man. This is, you know, this podcast is very informal and I'm open to going off on different things to understand what's going on in the music industry and what's going on online. I'm open to all these ideas. Cool. That's great, because I think that the... Tying back to the modular synth and the scene that we were at last night, it's the same story. We're wanting to interact in ways that are fulfilling.

And UI software design for artists, some of it works extremely well, like Bandcamp and Spotify and YouTube are like these really powerful Swiss Army Knives with no manual or maybe there's different teams that all own different parts of it and they don't have a good relationship internal at the company and the customer is then feeling that second hand. It's probably set up in different teams and those teams are not, you know, interacting with each other to make sure that things are working together for the customers and the musicians themselves. I think it shows. In my corporate life, I was getting flown out to the East Coast a couple years ago for a software team because there was a software company that bought out another software company and they were merging their training documentation database systems and it just wasn't working. And I went into the room and this was when I got exposed to the Agile method of project management but software design and development. And I could just see the dysfunction and I could see that the model, I could see the pros in the model and why Agile has been sold, but I could also see that it wasn't working on the ground. It was like a good theoretical model, I guess like a communist farming or something, but you know, it just didn't really work for the peasant. And so I think there is movements within software development and design that is helping to drive this disconnect. And again, tying that back to modular sense, what I see is I ended up with this box that is a sampler, synthesizer, da da da, it's so deep with so many of this, that, and the other thing, and a complex UI, the motif. It can do everything, kind of, if you can figure it out, hold shift, press down. That with a modular you get this direct, here's an oscillator, is it a sine wave, is it a sawtooth, you know. You now have access to that, you know what that is. You can wrap your head around that. So I'm not sure who's going to come along in the software space and turn this around, but there's an opportunity, much like moving to modulars, from all-in-one mega keyboards to sort something out. And anybody who does that, that would be like the new platform, boom. Because it would be so easy for everybody to work with. And I'm hoping Apple is starting to figure that out. Because the new iOS to me is more like my motif, it's so complicated to use, there's no entry point. You want to give an iPhone to your parent, it used to be, oh, there's your phone, there's that, there's that, yeah it was limited, but it did a lot more than a regular phone. So now telling your parent, you got a double flick here, a three finger pinch here, and then side-swipe here, it gets too complicated, or too powerful, it gets super powerful, but detached from the creative interaction. So I see these sort of trends and whatnot, and I think about that stuff as well, as the band. >> That's a very valid point, because just by example, my father, he got his first iPhone, he had a flip phone, he had a flip phone for decades, and he never wanted a smartphone. And he would call it his Scotty Beam Me Up phone, because he was a big fan of Star Trek. And finally he had to upgrade because the company was saying, we don't make flip phones anymore, you have to get a smartphone. So he got one, he got the iPhone 8, he got it this year, my dad's 71. And I'm always, out of his children, I'm the tech one. Whenever he has a tech question, he calls me. So far with his iPhone, he's actually not calling me. He's actually learning it. And I'm really surprised about that, and impressed, that instead of him saying, hey, show me how to do this, he's figuring it out. >> That's good. That's good to know. >> It's really good.

My dad's a very smart man, but he's never been a technology guy. My dad, he was a general contractor, he did construction his entire life here in San Francisco. And for him to be able to take an iPhone and just start to learn and understand how it works and be able to go through the apps without having to call me every other day is very impressive. >> That's it. You know, as you described that, my cheek of iOS, the current iOS, very good point. My father had me look at his flip phone just the other day. And he said, it's not powering on, what do I do? I'm like, well, let's hold the red dash button here that I think is also second as a power button, and it powered up. And I said, oh, 23 messages. How do you get to, you know, scroll down, left, right? And I was like, okay, yeah, on an iPhone, you're going to tap phone, messages, done. >> Easier. >> And I'd say that those are the core functionalities that were there from the beginning with iOS. And you're right, as long as you stick to that, those spaces, they have retained that simplicity. >> That's true. Like, he's not using a lot of the apps that probably you and I and other people are using where, you know, I'm using something like Core Gadget to create music for fun. You know, he's not doing anything like that. He's using email and, you know, and actually calling people and maybe texting finally, which is simple stuff and it's easy to figure out. So that's a good point. >> Now, with me, the most recent one is I could swear the weather app, you could swipe the cities at the top. Sometimes they swipe, sometimes they don't. >> Yep. >> But I go down to the bottom where there's little dots, one dot per city, and it swipes back and forth fine. So that's the kind of stuff that I'm talking about. If I show my parent and, oh, you swipe this way and it works once, but it doesn't work the second time, then they're like, okay, game over. >> Yeah, it's those added details into those apps that create dilemmas, which is, again, relating back to all what we've just talked about with Spotify versus Bandcamp. And modular versus Acid Pro, sometimes you just want to go through a list of beats and go, I like that beat, paint. You don't want to go down and figure out the dyes that are going to create green in your Legos. And you're okay with, okay, 50 other bands might use that same beat, as opposed to in a modular situation where you're creating something completely unique to you because you built it from the ground up. The good news is we have all these toys and tools to play with. Whether some are frustrating or what level you're playing with them, we certainly are swimming in a cornucopia of opportunity. >> And I think as we, I think we both mentioned last night in our conversation is there's, the technology is vast and now it's up to the artist to decide on what amount of it do they really want to use. How much of it do they need to be that creative? >> And what is my goal?

Which tool, I'm going to use a hammer for one thing, I'm going to use a saw for another thing. Not only do you have this range of tools, a whole toolbox to play with, and then you can say, well, all those tools are available to me at a low cost. That's the biggest thing I've seen. We were talking about, I think I mentioned hard drives and storage space. I see someone setting up the gear, whether it's a modular that's simply, you're not worrying about storage space and playback latency and whatnot. You put up your box, you get it power, and you go. And I see artists maybe like the 90s, oh my God, okay, is the reel-to-reel tape deck going to snap during the middle of this show? Like the early 90s nails, they used a Tascam four-track cassette player for the backing tape. And he goes, yep. He goes, they had a stack of cassettes, like, queued up to different songs. Like, okay, this one's queued up to the first song, this one's queued up to the second, this one's queued up to the third. So if it snaps in the middle of the second song, we can scrap the song, pop in cassettes starting at number three, and get going with the show. Continue the show. Say, oh, sorry, technical problem, next song. >> Yeah. >> So this example-- >> But I don't feel that worry anymore. >> It's totally different now. >> Yeah. >> Like, I'm reading a book, I'm reading Thomas Dalby's book, The Speed of Sound, and in one of the first two chapters, he's talking about playing a show where he's using a sampler. I forget which model it was at the time, but he's basically saying that using the sampler, it takes like 56 seconds to load the sample.

So he got really good at creating interludes, talking to the audience while loaded to play the next song. >> Yeah. >> And now that's not a problem anymore. >> Is that a recent book? >> 2016. >> 2016, okay, yeah, that's pretty recent. I should pick that up. He's always a brilliant and insightful person who has his finger in the pulse of things. >> It was really a real treat that I got to sit in on his panel at SynthFlex back a couple months ago. That was really neat. >> Just last week I watched that interview with him from SynthFlex. >> Oh. >> Yeah, there was--on YouTube, I was just scanning around and I'm like, "Oh, Thomas Dalby at SynthFlex." And he was just talking about where he thinks the technology is going and whatnot. >> I think I was in the room. This was like outside in a garden, from a hedge kind of, you know, one of these sort of-- >> Oh, totally different, okay. >> Yeah, it wasn't at SynthFlex, it was probably, you know, some video journalist cornered him or something. I said, "Cool, you got to be on that panel." >> It was very nice. It was actually very--it was an early morning, Saturday morning panel, so I think it was at like maybe 9 AM. So there's maybe like 10 people in there. >> Musicians. >> Yeah. It was good though. I want to talk about that a bit more and then I wanted to mention or open up a new topic around introversion, being an introvert. I became a fan a few years ago of Ross. >> You got those at Ross? >> Yup. >> Wow. >> You just have to watch the trends. >> It's pretty impressive. It's like seasonal and like in--near Sausalito, that's where you get all your corporate stuff. San Rafael, San Francisco over by the mall has a big selection of stuff. So stuff comes in. So yeah, well this was at Guess. This shirt, Ross, these pants, Ross, it's like people try or a fad comes through and it doesn't work out or whatever, they dump it at Ross. So I just kind of watched when the Appalachian thing became a thing and I'd go to--every Ross in the Bay Area that I'd pass by, I would stop in and it's obvious they kind of dump them in different demographics. And once you kind of get the pattern, you can find all sorts of cool stuff. >> That's cool. >> And go through and be like, nope, not this one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> So you're talking about introversion. >> Well, I wanted to do a brief shout out about SynthPlex because I got contacted. I'm helping a buddy of mine in Paris run his software company and it's famous for sound design, a software called Metasynth.

That came out originally in the '90s and won some electronic music magazine awards. It has grown into being a sampler, synthesizer, DAW, all in one. And it's claimed to fame in the early 2000s with the Apex Twin used an image of his face as one of the image samplers because one of the modules in this unit is it synthesizes from sound from image. And the rumor was that if you played that song in Winamp and it did a sound frequency analysis, it would paint his face. >> Wow. >> I don't know if that was actually true, but I'm now helping run the company and I got a customer who's like, "Hey, I'm down at SynthPlex. I got a booth. You want me to promote you guys?" I said, "Well, we're not modular." I said, "Oh, yeah, but you're kind of like modular on a laptop." Okay. So we did get represented at SynthPlex and now I'm aware of SynthPlex and I was curious to find out from you as a panelist and as a customer, is SynthPlex focused on modular synths or was it more broad than that? >> It was more broad than that. There were definitely companies there that were purely modular like Make Noise was there and a few others, but there was more than that. You know, Moog was there, Roland was there, Korg was there. All the big companies that do synthesizers were there, but all the independent companies that are now that we know as modular were there too. A lot of the mainstream ones were there. Booklet was there. So there was a lot of variety out there. I ran into companies, modular companies I had never heard of. I saw samples of software I had never heard of. It was really fantastic. I was talking with Rick Havoc and he's a guy down in LA and he's jumped from doing Waldorf to many other companies now and he's a really fantastic guy that has been in the music industry for so long and worked for many different companies so he knows the inner workings of all these different companies. I actually skyped with him a couple months ago. He helped me out with a troubleshooting issue I had with some of my modular stuff, which is really great. Beyond that, every day there were panels, panel after panel of people in the industry doing fantastic things that I had no idea was going on until I was there. So for example, Alan Howarth, I'm sure you know his name. It's familiar, but I don't know. John Carpenter. Oh, that's right. He's a composer for John Carpenter. He's been working with him for decades now and he's redone a lot of music and re-released things. He had his own little booth, but also on Saturday morning he had his own panel where he talked about the frequency of the body and where the frequencies are and it's really fantastic. He did a hissing. Yes. He talked about the brain, the neck, the shoulders, down to the groin, the hips, and he described every single one in this chart. He even did a study with a writer who he had studied and they got together and they did a study where the, it was really fantastic.

He talked about and showed photos at his panel about renting a pyramid so that they could go into the King's Chamber and measure it to see if it was measured to the right frequencies of the universe and it was. It was really fascinating stuff. He's actually been working on an app so that musicians can use this app, one, to make their music to the right, to the frequency of the body, which is more tonally adapted to the human ear. I am a big believer in creating technologies that allow artists not to have to stumble around and take X number of years to achieve a goal. Some people are very anti that, "Oh, to play a violin you need to spend your life to learn how to play a violin. To play this synthesizer you need to invest a year of your life to learn the synthesizer. If you make it easier, you're just spoiling the whole thing." I firmly disagree. If you want to learn to spend your whole life learning how to play a violin, do that. It's available to you. If I quickly want to bash out for this month's West Coast Songwriters event a new track, a new bed track for me to do a vocal and a lyric, I don't want to spend six months just for that three minute presentation. West Coast Songwriters is like a song contest monthly. There's a bunch of them around the Bay Area. You show up, you do your song. Some semi-famous people, some famous people sit down as a jury and say, "Oh, you have really good lyrics. I like that vocal melody there." You get feedback. You go back and revise your song. I want to, every month, crank out something new for that. It makes perfect sense for me to go into Acid Pro and go, "Okay, here's, it's in, I have a bunch of categories. Here's country, here's industrial, whatever. I'm going to do a Franco-Latin beat song this month. Boom, boom. Get my Lego box out and build this Lego song." Maybe that song won't be as good as a song that if I had learned how to play Spanish guitar as a five year old would be. But it gives me another option, another tool. So it's great here that SynthPlex wasn't like, "Oh, we're the cult of modular. Only modular is real." It sounded like it was more broad to say, "Hey, rather than figuring that tone to get the hips moving, I'm going to give you a tool and it's going to lay out all the tones." And the argument could be, "Oh, now everybody knows exactly how to make hips move. And so the world's going to be flooded with all these crappy songs that make hips move." Yeah, and? People like that. And if people like that, that's fine.

And just why, if you, if there's a sea of that, figure out how to be the guy that does it even better. This is a new tool so you don't have to stumble around if you don't want to. There is value in stumbling around because you might discover something otherwise you wouldn't. But someone comes along, does the research, creates a new tool, my wallet's going to open and I'm going to go give me that tool. Yeah. That's great. You're right. That's a great point. But yeah, Synth Lake was, it was the first one ever and I really enjoyed it. I got in as a volunteer photographer for the event. So I ran around and just made myself as available as I could. Like last night, as you saw me run around doing photography for everybody, just I'm there to photograph. So I did. And I got in, any panel I got into, I made sure I get in there. If it was a famous person that I knew was going to be popular, I made sure to get there ahead of time so I was going to get a front seat so I'd be right there so I could be as close as you and I are sitting together so I can photograph that person because I'm using a 50mm prime lens. So I don't have any zoom. You know, it's like, it's a portrait lens. So I have to be kind of close to get that nice crisp 1.4 aperture shot. But I did and it was a lot of fun. So you came in, you made yourself valuable to everybody and you ended up on the panel with Thomas Dolby. How did you end up on the panel? I wasn't on the panel. I just showed up for it. Oh, I thought you were sitting on the panel. No, no, no. Okay. I didn't sit, I wasn't on any panels. I just showed up for his panel as a photographer. Got it. So for example, like for him, I went in, I sat up really close so I could get photographs while he was talking and then when his panel was done, I came up and presented myself. I'm a photographer for the event, may I take your photograph? And he said, yeah, sure. So got his photograph, got Tom Hulkenberg, of course, and his panel was massive. Tom Hulkenberg, he composes soundtracks and his panel was huge. They made the... He had to expand a room for his panel. It was so popular. And I had actually been in the... I was in that room for the previous panel because it was a good panel and I also knew it was Tom Hulkenberg afterwards so I figured, okay, I'll get my seat now in the front seat so I'm only six feet away from the stage where he's sitting so that I can make sure that I get this seat because every seat in here is gonna be taken and it was. If people were standing in, you know, lining the room, it was so popular. And that was all the fun. But I've been doing photography for 20 years so I've gotten accustomed to not being shy anymore because I was a shy person for a long time but as a photographer and getting to know people and it's something where you end up being a director is being a photographer. If you're working with people, you're telling them... If you're working with models, you're telling them how to pose. So basically you're directing them and you're doing that if you're taking a portrait of a family, you're telling them how to stand so that they get the best results and are happy with the product. So I'm out there and I'm not shy anymore. I'm really not. So as you saw last night, I'm running around going, "Hey, here's my podcast.

Here's my sticker to everybody in the room." And then I'm also passing out stickers to Peaked for everybody in the room saying, "We're doing this next week Wednesday. Come on out. We're doing this next week." So that's what I do. Describe Peaked a little bit more. I'm going to be in San Jose next week but is it monthly? So Peaked is monthly. My friend Rich Hogben and I started it. I was holding a beer tasting actually here maybe in, I think it was December last year. So he and I, we've known each other for a few years because my girlfriend used to work at the same company, Supply Frame with him. And he and I always were into music and photography together. So we always had that connection and then I ran into him again last year at Resident. And so we reconnected over music and he came over. He and I had a good jam session last year where he brought his modular set and we played together and had a good time. And then I had a beer tasting here where we opened up a lot of aged beers and it was maybe 10 people and he said, "Hey man, I have a question. How long can a beer age and still be drank?" You'd be surprised. I have three I've not opened and I've been scared to open. Some are, one has got to be 10 years. Depends on the variety. Is it a stout or a porter? I think they're all towards a stout porter. Then they're going to age pretty good. If they're lighter beers. I think we need to plan a future event. If they're lighter beers, they're not going to age as well. But contrary to belief, a lot of beers actually age very well. If they have more hops in them, they won't age as well. Hops doesn't age well, but if malts does. Got it. Cool. I've been holding onto these. You should just throw them in the trash. They're not going to be good. Like something in me says hold onto them. One is called cuir, which is leather in French. And one is the Abyss. What year? It's got to be 10 years ago. It's over seven years ago. It's good. And I know that they didn't make it for a few years and then they made another one and I had opened that more recent one, but I think this is pretty sure this is the older one. And the other one. I've been a connoisseur of the Abyss from Deschutes Brewing Company since 2008. I think this is a 2008. It's good. It's got to be, I bought it in Oakland and when I lived in Emeryville, which was six and a half years ago. So it's at least seven years. You know, if you come over to my place, we could do a flight of that. That's what I'm thinking. I'm like, I think I found the guy. We can have the bottle, have some people over, do tasting. And then the third one is a Cezanne. I can't remember the company. But all right, we got to follow up on, it's called Peaked. P-I-Q-U-E-D. Okay. And it's the second Wednesday of every month. It's the third Wednesday. Third Wednesday of every month. So I need to check my calendar for that. You guys all check your calendar as well. Yeah. It's the third Wednesday of every month and this is only our third one. So we've only been doing it for three months now. And so Rich and I put it together. He said, "Hey, since he works at Supply Frame, it's a company that is very much into electronic music because that company is Serbia. So they're already into electronic music."

So he's actually played shows for his company in Serbia before doing his Mondro set. And he's got his stuff up on SoundCloud. And Rich is a phenomenal musician. He creates excellent music. And he just recently got his wife, Anna, into playing music. And she started the band Camp 2 and she's only playing in OPZ. And she's making great music. Playing in what? OPZ. You'll have to look it up. OPZ. Okay. It's a tiny little piece. It's a tiny little equipment that you can do almost anything with. The predecessor to the OPZ was the OP1. And either of these pieces, you can create an entire album worth of music. It's an all digital piece that can fit in your breast pocket. Yeah. Wow. You know, the OP1, it goes for $1,000. The OPZ goes for about 600. And they're phenomenally fantastic pieces. For example, the company that makes it is Teenage Engineering. And this is the pocket operator, the KO sampler. It's like an old pocket calculator. It does. But if you turn it on... Oh, the battery's died. Never mind. But basically... The bane of our technical existence. But this one here, this is really fun because it's got beats in it and samples. So basically the KO sampler is designed so that you can actually speak into that microphone, sample your voice or any other piece of audio and tweak it. And this thing is like 50 bucks. As you've probably figured out, I'm really good with side stories. I like the side stories. So my mother now has my iPhone... Is it a 5S? I've got the 7 Max here. And I wanted to extend its life. I'm really big on recycling and making sure technology continues to get used and not dumped in a trash bin. So Christmas a few years ago, I decided the battery is not charging very well in this thing. It's not getting the best. So it obviously needs a new lithium battery. I'm the son of an auto mechanic. I can do this. So I got the kit online, sat down, opened up the case and said, "I'm replacing this lithium battery." How hard could this be? Hard. And the reason it was hard is because things are so small. Peeling of the battery, no problem. The screws took 20 minutes per screw to find the thread because it was so subtle. So the technology, what you can pack into a small space, I became painfully aware of how much we can pack in a small space. And inside that phone was 50% battery. Everything was incredibly small in there. Was using Torx? Yes. Not surprised. And the cable for the battery to snap into the motherboard, you could not visually see any connector. That is frustrating.

And us at middle age, we were getting on the reading glasses. I had like three layers of reading glasses and a magnifying glass to see this texture of two pieces of felt like mylar. And all of a sudden, you push just right and all of a sudden you felt click. But I could not visually tell you what had clicked. But the components had clicked together. You could feel a little snap. So I look at this thing that looks like just the motherboard of an old pocket calculator and realize, "My God, that's a big IC right there." It's a visual display. It's a sampler. What you can pack on a single chip is incredible. It really is. So the pocket operators, there's a series of these. This is the sampler. There's a Beats and there's a variety of them. And they range from like 50 to 100 bucks. So they're very affordable. And these came out a couple of years ago and they're really fun. And a buddy of mine that I work with, he's got a seven-year-old son now. And so last year, I bought one for him for his kid. I said, "Hey, man, give this to your kid for Christmas or his birthday." So when he came over on Friday last week, he brought the Beats. I got him the Beats one. And this kid had programmed like four phenomenal Beats by himself, seven years old, and he's into it.

Part Four:

And he can release that album internationally tomorrow in 24 hours. That kid is amazing because, you know, who knows what we could have done with that technology when we were children. But he's doing it now and I'm, you know, I don't have kids but I'm happy to do it. I'm my friend's kid and it just warms my heart the fact that he's into it and he likes it and he's happy and he's making cool beats. That's cool. And he cut his teeth on technology. I've been thinking about the Bay Area a lot, having lived south, east, north, in the city and how we swim in technology here. Yes we do. And I took a, my girlfriend and I just took a brief vacation up into Canada and we went to Banff. Never heard of the place. It's in the middle of the, it's in the Rockies, the Canadian Rockies. And man, I didn't feel any technology. I felt like, yeah, okay, this is a vacation. And I come back to the Bay Area and it's like, you know, a cookie crumb falls out of someone's mouth and there's a chip in it. And you know, it's really embedded there. And now also taking over UNI software and it was originally founded in San Francisco, but the creator is French and he moved back to Paris. So I've taken on the mantle of being the San Francisco face of the company. And I am just fascinated by working with a company that started in the 90s is giving me this mirror to where we are now. And I'm looking at the company going, well, hmm, we don't have any plugins. We don't have any iOS apps. What could we do with that? What could we do on that chip? So seeing this device for all you guys, it literally looks like just a little thin, imagine like two credit cards stitched together with a couple of knobs and a screen. Yeah. And you're saying he's, you know, building drum tracks. Oh yeah, absolutely. For 50 bucks. Yeah. It's really impressive. Speaking of San Francisco, I'd love to keep this podcast going. Cause I think we're just connecting on so many different levels and we have a future beer tasting already planned. I don't know if that'll be in the podcast because you guys won't get to taste it, but you know what? We could sip it and tell you how good or how bad it is. But in San Francisco, finding a parking space is so difficult. I think it's like only one in five cars in San Francisco can stop. There's no space for it to stop. So in the 90s, I remember the statistics said that there were, what was it? Basically it was saying that there was maybe for every car, there was maybe, there's one space for every third car. Something like that. So the other two out of three have to be in motion. It was already a problem over 20 years ago. You know, the parking situation and still getting worse as you know. The fact that you have a two car garage, which I will have to figure out how to back into oncoming traffic and construction reroute, which means they're right on the curb will be interesting. But I literally had to wrap up today cause I got to get back to my girlfriend's place because after four o'clock, forget it, everybody comes home, every parking space is filled and I would have to like maybe park at Bart and take an Uber and leave the car in a Bart garage overnight. It's probably not a good thing. No. Well Kalib, if you got to go man, that's okay. We can always do a part two. I think that's in order and I would love to dig into some of those toys next time. Sure. You can do that. I've enjoyed the push and live and whatnot, but I am finding that I just feel like I'm on my laptop enough that now the gear is starting to pull you away from the laptop. Yes, you can run the nuclear arsenal and produce an album on your laptop, but there is this tactile thing and I'm looking around this room with a bunch of knobs and toys. There's a phenomenal musician by the name of Musical Fungus that I had play, I had booked him to play at Peak for our first show. He lives in like Santa Cruz and he came up and he does all modular stuff. He's got a booklet easel and he's got all these great modules. A lot of this stuff I think is, he uses a lot of musical, mutable instruments as the modules. Some of the stuff, and then make noise of course because math is a big piece of his projects. But Musical Fungus really creates modular music in a way that sounds organic. And he sounds familiar. I don't know, has he played at Resonant? No. I've never seen him play at Resonant. He's played at Resonant Frequency. Oh, Resonant Frequency. He's played there a couple of times. Yeah. He may have played that night that I was there. He may have. Because the name sounds familiar and I remember a guy getting up there a little later on that was playing this very organic thing. Yeah, you may have seen his performance. He's really good. Isn't that incredible that you can get this device, you can explore it, and you think, "Oh, this is what can do it. I got an oscillator, a high pass filter, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And this is what it can do and you'll create something with it. And you'll see someone take the same technology and what comes out is completely different. And you go, "How much is what I'm perceiving of this technology, the tech, and how much is me?" It's a big question and it's ongoing. We'll leave it there for part two. Sounds good. Thank you, Kalib. Sorry, I was finishing the beer. Thank you, Korey. Thank you.

KJCC: Ochoa Show (2019)

Jeff was in the second “Rock Lotto” group I was selected for, and we performed “Your Heroin” and the new track “It’s the End”. Everyone else on that team dropped out. After he invited Tim and I to appear on his radio show, talk about the songs, and give them air play.

104.1 KJCC real campus radio streaming to you live on KJCC live.com and I'm streaming I see myself.

Oh, yeah Facebook live or we Awesome, so I'm here with the group artist Known as Audio Terrorist. Hello, sir. Hello been a while since I seen you. Yeah, so Kalib and I We we threw our names in a hat with a bunch of other musicians from the Bay Area and People were put into groups Based on cities, right? Yeah, okay and He and I were put in together with some other people and they all dropped out on us so we decided to forge on and We played a show August no July I think it was it was a July. We played San Francisco bar called neck of the woods had a blast I had a really good time it was just it was just so neat to see just be around a bunch of really talented musicians and such and and I made a new friend. So how's it going? It's going good, man. We could be sir polished off the album that we did Two of the three songs that we did that night, right? Right album one's a new single that will do release next year. So I have your heroine I'd like to play cool and but and so let me play this and the video of this It's doing well in Siberia and Germany According to Facebook cool. I don't I'm not sure about those Siberian fans. Yeah, they're real Well for the most part we hope they are yeah, so let's play this song then I want to get into the Makings and how it was all put in together. So cool. Here we go. Mom's and dad's the Saint you're rock and roll I Have A Boy I Have A Boy I Have a boy I Have a boy I

[Your Heroin Plays]

You're a heroine, don't work no more The needle's all broken Too much is left unspoken Drown forevermore Your wounds can't bleed no more The tears all are blown All the sorrows that you've known Are now accounted for So you go Into the light Of a new day You're a heroine, don't work no more All veins are closed too tight No way to get it right Gone forevermore Your heart can't race no more The pressure was too high For too long a time So you open up that door And you go From the night And you pray That this is the break you've been waiting for The time of your life you need to go Down the golden road you've been meant to take To the land of the living When nothing is fake anymore Drown forevermore So you go Into the light Of a new day And you go From the night And you pray That this is the break you've been waiting for The time of your life you need to go Down the golden road you've been meant to take To the land of the living When nothing is fake anymore And this is the break you've been waiting for The time of your life you need to go Down the golden road you've been meant to take To the land of the living When nothing is fake anymore.

Cool additions of the strings in it. Well no, they were always there, right? The strings, sorry, they were always there. Yeah, we brought that out in the final mix, the strings. I did a little edit on and there's this metal pipe hit that I sat with my producer Tim, who's also in the band, and we brought that out. I'm like, "Damn, that sound!" He goes, "What sound?" "Oh, that pipe!" He dug in there and got the pipe out. Nice, nice. So what got you into music? Creating music and then ultimately performing music. My mother said that any time her and my dad would go to a house party, I'd start kicking to the beat. She said it started immediately. I knew you were going to be into music from the get-go. And then growing up here in San Jose at the time that I did, there was nothing. Yes. Yeah. So I did the one thing you could do, which joined choir, fourth grade. So I started performing fourth grade and into university and choir. Oh, okay. And jazz. Was the training real rigorous? Because you could actually take a course in college and major in choir. Sure. What kind of homework do you get to that? Do you have to write essays? What's all that about? Well, I didn't major in it. It was aside. It wasn't my major. My major was clinical psychology for bachelors. And then a very wise man, Dan Wyman, spoke to me one day and said, "I don't want to throw you off your career, but you might be an artist." And then I went to -- What was that like hearing that? It was like someone suddenly seeing me for the first time. Yeah. And me seeing myself and saying, "Oh, this creative thing." How old were you? Oof. 24? Really? 23, 24? Do you think that was kind of -- because a lot of people, they realize that maybe at a somewhat earlier age. Yeah, no, I thought music as a hobby doesn't make money. I thought I wasn't very good at it. True that. But I loved it. And so I would just keep doing it as a hobby. And at university, it started taking up more and more of my time. So by the time I graduated, I actually had a second bachelor's, all the courses for a second bachelor's in music as well. Okay. But Dan is the one who got me to get my first computer, to start doing computer music, working in the recording studio, learning how to do that. So you mentioned computer music. Yeah. What are you using? What do you use now to create? I love to use Acid Pro to start things. I start with the beats. Okay. I start with the arrangement, get a song down. Do you create the beats, or is there a bank of stuff that you just kind of go through, and I like this, I'll use this? I used to. I used to have two different samplers, a Mirage and an ESI3 or something like that. So I used to bang on pipes and do all that stuff from scratch. The early years of AudioTerrace was a lot more experimental. Okay. And I'd be roaming around San Jose, banging on railroad tracks and telling my friends, "Come on, let's go record something. Let's do something interesting." Right. And that's how AudioTerrace started in '84. I'd read a book, "Blood and Cuts in High School" by Kathy Acker, and she'd mentioned this idea of terrorists as people who surprise others. I thought that was an interesting interpretation. Yeah. Well, how about surprise with music? Now it means a whole different thing. Yeah, it's a whole, just, oh my God. Yeah, so after 9/11, we stopped using the name for a couple years. Okay. And went under the name Cui Bleu, which is French for blue leather. Okay. And then that band got more synth-pop-y and more often in a different direction that I didn't feel represented AudioTerrace. So then I rebooted AudioTerrace. Just came out and owned it, owned the name and stuff. Yeah, owned it, and people said, "Everybody knows this sounds like a band." Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now the Google searches are hard sometimes to find us because you just get all these crazy guys on there, you know, on the list. But yeah, went back, owned it, never was a problem. And then I started hearing the term used, like popularly, because we were like one of the first bands to have a website. Really? Because I went into the arts program for my master's, which was multimedia computer arts, and there was a thing called Mozilla, which was the first browser. So we're sitting there like writing the first web pages. I'm like, "Yeah, AudioTerrace, man." When was this? Got to put my band. When about was this? '92, '93? Internet was just fresh. Yeah, and people were like, "Oh, still in the cyberpunk thing?" We'd go to Club FX, which I think is the usual now, on the corner downtown. Oh, that's the Ritz. The Ritz. And it was like the underground, people with black leather trench coats, and literally were swapping floppy disks into each other's pockets with HTML code. "Oh, I wrote this killer-ass code last night. Yeah, let me put that on my band site. Yeah, man." It was like that. Wow. It was a really cool time. And so that was, I think, the second phase of AudioTerrace. The first phase was more experimental in the studio doing tape loops, cutting tape with razor blades and splicing tape. So when you spliced it together, were you using like a-- it's not cellophane tape, but it was some kind of tape, or were you just using like kind of a glue? Because I know sometimes you could put like fingernail polish and that would stick. No, no, this was actually tape. It was a physical splicer. So when the band first started, there were a couple of different technologies I had available to me. One was a four-track reel-to-reel and a two-track reel-to-reel at the university, and I could slice with the razor blade. They had a little--I don't know, it's a little metal sheath that you put the two pieces in, and you actually put physical tape. To create the beat loops, you would then take like--see these microphone stands? Right. You take some microphone stands, put the boom out, and then put the tape around either side of the recording unit, and then you tighten it so it's running around the head. [beatboxing] I mean, that's how it started. But by the late--I said by 2000, I was like, "I'm tired of the samplery locking up or this thing crashing or trying to hold microphone stands and all that," and loops came out. I freely admit--because some people really shame me on this, but I just--I loved it. I'm like, "I can just go find something I'm looking for. How is it any different than a preset on a keyboard?" So a preset on a keyboard, that's okay, but you throw loops in a track, oh, that's bad. And now that's what--that's the standard. That's what it is. Everybody in the top 40 is basically using that stuff. I got called Millie Vanillie at shows. You're freaking Millie Vanillie! Oh, my God. And just because we did loops. That's different now. Yeah, now, like, we went on stage, laptop, using live, the application live with the push. That's the one thing that I--we had some technical difficulties towards the end of our set, but, you know, we kept it going. The one thing I got to say, and a testament to the music that you created, is the bartender. Hey, what happened? Huh. And he was--and, oh, we had this. And, yeah, you kept it going. I like the songs. Now, the thing is, this guy works at the bar. They have live music almost every night. He hears everything all the time, but he liked us. That's cool. That was like, wow, that is really cool, because he didn't have to say anything, but he--it was in him to kind of, like, give that compliment. And that's the kind of compliments that you take to heart, because, you know, they hear it all the time, and they see probably a bunch of techno bands. They've seen all kinds of rock bands so many times, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's very seldom that something special stands out.

So props to you. Thank you, man. Thank you for that. And, you know, sometimes one thing about the electronic gear is harder to set up. I, you know, envy the bands that just go up, plug in a guitar, let's go, and I'm up there still tweaking and setting up. So I'm doing that breakdown at the end, so quite often at the end of the set, I'm so focused on packing and making sure I get all my cables, I don't have that moment to engage with them. So thanks for sharing that. Yeah, that was--I was, like, driving home, and, like, yeah, I didn't have to say anything to me. And then he goes, yeah, you know, that was pretty cool. I liked it. And I was like, all right. I thanked him, and I just didn't think--driving home, I was like, yeah. And I'd forgotten that the city cut out right at the end, and you just kept playing. And then I started clapping. And you started clapping and engaging them, and they're like, oh, it's a breakdown. And I'm like, okay, I'll just keep singing. And we got them going. Yeah, so that was really good.

So the song we just played, "You're Heroin," you told me what it's about, but why don't you just let the listeners know and people that are listening, your fans? I think people should interpret it how they want. Okay, so briefly, you know, encapsulate what it-- For me? For you. So-- That's the best music. It should be somebody else. They listen to something, and it's whatever it is to them. So that's the magic. In complete fairness, I should give a shout-out. The song--and remember, the song is the words and the vocal melody. All the rest is the music or the arrangement, right? A lot of people mix that up. The lyrics to that track and the vocal melody--well, part of the vocal melody was written by a friend of mine, Chris Wurzig. And-- Sorry. So he wrote it for whatever reason he originally wrote it. And I had been on one of his previous albums before that track and did a cover of Don Henley's "Boys of Summer." Which I'm going to play in a little bit. Cool. Okay. And then he moved down to L.A., and he met this other guy, and they did a version. And I was like, "Oh, my God, this guy's an amazing singer." It was great that he got him on the next album, but a part of me was like, "Damn, I wish that was me." So I said, "Hey, man, can I do a completely different version?" And so I got the track, started practicing it, and then came up with a completely different arrangement-- actually about five different directions we went with. We did a metal version, we did an acoustic piano version, all this stuff. And then I finally started working with this remixer, and we came up with this electronic track that you just heard. And every time I was hearing this track, to me, it was about what I was going through. And I was bringing my interpretation, like everybody does, to a song. My interpretation was, "I'm dying in corporate America." And you're offering me a salary, but it's like a poison to me. Right, right, right. And it's just like my soul is dying, and it doesn't work anymore. Yeah, yeah. So it wasn't like you were an actual junkie, but in a way you were. It was to that money, that big check that came in. And you were willing to put up with the boss being an ass to you. What can I say on the radio? Yeah, that's cool. For it, and you feel that addiction and that abuse situation. So I started doing the song at Karaoke, the version we did. And every time I sang, I just thought about where I am, and I heard that line, "Going down the golden road you've been meaning to take." And I heard Dan in my head going, "You might be an artist." And I'm like, "Right, I'm an artist trying to wear the suit, and this isn't working anymore, and I need to get out." And I did a year ago. Good for you.

So this next song I want to play is called "Pleasure and Pain." And this is the single before the first song we played, right? "Pleasure and Pain." Yes. This is the one that's been streamed a lot. Yeah, this is streaming, the top streaming. Okay, so we'll play this one, and let's talk about this. Okay. All right, this is Audio Terrorist here. "Pleasure and Pain."

You're listening to KJCC Real Campus Radio.

Does it hurt when I touch you that way? If I look the other way, will you smile? Was I right to think you want to play? Something makes you stay, and you're wild. I feel you just like this way. When I've made you pleasure and pain, some may say it can't be okay. But I say it's just a game we play. Pleasure and pain. Pleasure. Pain. Is it cool to use you when I like? Do you think that I might bring you pleasure? Does it hurt in all of the right ways? Is that why you stay and we're together? I feel you just like this way. When I've made you pleasure and pain, some may say, "Well, that's not okay." But I say it's just a game we play. Pleasure and pain. Pleasure. Pain. ♪ Pleasure and pain. Pleasure. Leisure of pain Leisure of pain Leisure of pain Leisure of pain Leisure of pain Leisure of pain Leisure of pain

Pirate Radio SF (2019)

Tim and I met up with Stefan, the man who had created the “Balanced Breakfast” music industry mixer, conference, and Rock Lotto where I meet Tim.

We got a flat tire on the way back to San Jose…

Kalib & Tim from Audio Terrorist on Finding & Giving Inspiration on BB’s MISSION:MUSIC Podcast

https://balanced-breakfast.com/podcast/audio-terrorist-mission-music-podcast/

Hey everybody, my name is Kalib.

My name is Tim. And together you represent multiple bands.

We represent a band called Kalib and a band called Audiotarist, and we will be doing

some acoustic versions of both Kalib songs and Audio Terrorist songs. Before then,

though, I want to be asked about my panel. Oh, yeah. Well, obviously, that's kind

of what we were getting. And I'm sitting here like, what about my panel? Yeah. Mike

is off. What's going on? Yeah, hit us up with it. Nobody likes the music production

panel. That's what I'm getting that vibe, you know? Yeah. They're hating on us, man.

Or we're just playing off of our egos that we want to hear ourselves first, and

then we're like, okay, now we'll play into your ego. You can talk now. Second

fiddle. Yeah, I think we might be bad people Really underdog ever that's why we

should be able to yourself next year come to our panel Well, I don't because we're

the underdog panel. You technically have the biggest panel though I think there are

six people on your panel.

What last year I think we had six as well. Yeah, so visually you were quite

strong. Oh awesome Yeah, should we coordinate the outfits more? I mean,

if you're one of those bands, or one of those panels that believes in branding.

Yeah. - Yeah. - Good work.

I did a survey and I asked how many introverts were at our panel and it was

about 80 to 90%. So I don't think they thought about the branding at all. - Yours

was on audio production? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hey, you're in it. - Jason's in the

perfect field. He likes to do some producing. - Yeah, yeah. I don't know a lot of

producers who are, you know, like, high flying extroverts. - They like to get out a

lot. - Yeah, not so much. We're cave dwellers. - Yeah, yeah. The cave dog plant.

And the panel had one, two people.

Don't know if, well, three from last year. So we had like a

continuation of that conversation from last year with some fresh meat. fresh meat.

That's good. Can you give us a little synopsis of how it evolved from last year? I

think it evolved just because it had new perspectives on the panel. I challenged the

panel with the same challenge I had last year, which is I want you to inspire

people. Everybody in this room should walk out of here going, "Wow,

I've got a great idea. I had this barrier in my music production that now has just

opened and I'm gonna go out there and conquer the world and So for the panelists,

I said, I you know, I love hearing about what you guys do and what you can offer

To the audience But I want you to tell a story about one moment in your life that

changed everything in your music production And I guarantee you last year not as

much this year people look at me like What?

Okay, so I actually did do phone calls before hand you mentioned that before the

panel Yeah, so I said to everybody. Hey, here's a framework to work with your

presentation nice and I'm available for consulting So I did about hour for a couple

of different people on the panel, one of them had already done the panel before so

he knew how to approach it and then the new folks kind of get introduced to a new

way of speaking about things, not just talking about, "Oh, here's my story, here's

the service I provide," but to actually challenge them to feel a little uncomfortable

to say, "Oh, shit, I got to think about this," right? And by doing that,

you Model the behavior you want for the audience. Yeah for them to stop and say

whoa. Wait a minute. Yeah, how does this apply to me? That is so thoughtful and

well It's making me feel my panel and I'm like we showed up and started talking

Guys, I mean…

Treated me second class about the panel discussion here and now I'm not your first

push back man yeah I mean it got it got it got real fast with aria kind of

getting everybody breathing and thinking about their past their present their future

that was cool yeah. He came in hot and I was just like I can get down with

this I thought we were expecting all that at 10 o 'clock or whatever that we were

gonna stretch Yeah, I so last year we did a little warmup and we just kind of

like worked our backs out and it's some bending yeah, I'm raising and When I saw

him he came in he goes I'll be up on stage and I started talking and I look over

and he's just like meditating before he talks So he he was on my panel and the

funny thing is I saw his warm -up thing in the morning.

And I was like this is some really deep spiritual shit It's like he's logging on and then he was on the panel and he had one kind of like speech that he seemed to have prepared that was

very meta again yeah got real like philosophical deep like spiritual and then he

kind of gave that and it took him like five minutes and then he was done and then

the rest of the time he just talked like intermittently a little bit and all of

that was gone and he was just like a guy again it was like it was like he had

descended off the mountain like it become and become human again you know he brought

them You know he brought them commandments. Yeah, like like you know and all I'll

praise the Buddha and then he came down and he was like what's up everybody? It

was really odd. It was like a little switch. It's amazing Yeah, and so we'd

wore off. Yeah, I don't know I feel like maybe what he did is like the night

before or something He just like had his like his like I'm gonna get my thing out,

you know my spiritual thing is gonna Yeah, I'm gonna get that out and then when

I'm done I'm just gonna like fall back and relax I think it seemed like it worked

well for him I do my best not to do too much prep in advance for fear that I

get a little too scripted and a little too agenda oriented so I whenever I do like

my panel I had a casual idea of where I was gonna try to go I kind of knew that

I wanted to touch on like where these guys came from and and just like little hot

spots of like if you catch them after the panel you can continue this conversation.

Well the thing is your two guys were kind of like the most famous people and so I

think just everybody was fine to just listen to them tell their story like like who

they are and what the things they've been through like they're crazy things from the

70s and 80s in San Francisco in the early days and stuff. If any of us had sat

there and started waxing about that stuff, it would have bored the pants off of our

audiences, but it kind of worked for you two guys. - So Aaron Axelton and Stuart

Shuffman from Broke Asteroid. Yeah, so what's interesting about that, though, is,

okay, so we get an all -star crew throughout the day, and then I have to figure

out how to impress that all -star crew. So it's like, if you guys are all gonna be

on panels and you're like representing a very specific caliber and that people wanna

come see you and then how do I figure out who you guys wanna see? So like, that's

what I'm always trying to figure out is at the end, what's gonna make you guys go,

all right, yeah. - Interesting. - So I have no idea what's speaking next year.

(laughing) - You got some wine. - Do you have a little time? - They were great and

you guys, I I like the freestyling that you're doing yeah, you guys all could roll

with that and I know with Aaron, right? Yeah, I was like dude. I didn't know you

existed. We don't went all the same clubs We listened to the same albums. We hung

out in same places. How did I not meet you? Yeah, so it was great opportunity to

shake his hand That's kind of part of the magic of the whole thing though Sometimes

you do run into people that you're like I should have met you years ago Yeah, like

and this This shouldn't be the first time. - I feel like, so when I arrived in

2004, his name was the name that everybody was saying, like Aaron, Aaron, Aaron,

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. And then Stuart was like the, I met him like six years

later and he was like the, Stuart, Stuart, Stuart, Stuart, Stuart, Stuart, man. - And

now you, more or less. - You say, I wasn't gonna say it. I hope someone's saying,

Stefan's cool. - I said it before. - I don't think Yeah, I don't think anyone's

talking about it. I think no, I don't think anybody knows who you are. It's like

asking. Sorry. I know. But like, yeah, well, yeah, it's going to be fun to figure

out, it's going to be fun to figure out how to impress you guys next year. And

again, the week before Thursday, you guys are going to have to give me hugs, and

I'm going to be like, I don't know about this, I don't think we're going to do it

in Yeah, we should have a hug fast. I mean I can remind you how well it went the

previous year But I don't think that's gonna calm your nerves. So it doesn't happen.

It doesn't really work that way I called mom and told mom I was stressed out. Oh,

what'd she say? Okay, so so My parent here's here's I'm describing it my parents

support me in my efforts to Kind of do this balanced breakfast thing and support

the industry, though they don't fully, fully understand it. No, they don't, they

don't fully, they mean, I mean, my mom wants a hoodie and she wants a shirt and

she wants to be like, my son does balanced breakfast. Does she wear them? Yeah.

That is so cool. My mom would never wear anything I've ever put in. Yeah, so they

don't fully, fully grasp what I do. They kind of do. My dad's came, actually my

dad's come to a balanced breakfast meeting and he's so, he gets it.

but my mom wants to protect me. So when I call her and tell her like, "Mom, I'm

freaking out." She goes, "Well, maybe next year you shouldn't do it." Like, like,

it's a lot of stress. - Oh my God, I thought she was gonna give you good advice.

- I mean, but like-- - Silly me. - Well, I mean, in some ways it's good mom advice.

She goes, "You're stressed out, you're like, it's giving you a lot of anxiety."

- That's good, now that's good anxiety. –

So do you guys have families and are they proud of you or think you're really weird and wish you'd been lawyers?

I've never been told to be a lawyer. I come up with a more working -class family

so it'd be more like could you go you know be a mechanic. You know something very

practical, concrete, tangible, we understand the value it provides society,

which is funny because I grew up in that environment So all this stuff I've done

in my life. They're kind of like, oh Yeah, you do that creative thing And they

won't really say anything much about to me. But when someone comes to visit, this

is my son He does music and stuff interesting and I'm like, where's this come from?

Yeah, father showing you off a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think he was into

any of this stuff He's a huge voice.

Fanatic I only learned last year. Weird. He's like, oh yeah, his vocal style. He's

doing all this vocal critique. I'm like, well dad, what about my vocals? You ever

said anything about my vocals? But maybe that's a good thing. Yeah, he probably

knows.

The Audio Terrorist stuff, I listen to that and I'm like, that would be hard

on my parents. I don't think they would, I don't think they'd understand. They

stopped at the Beatles, so you're about, you're about 10 degrees edgier than they've

never gone. The funny story on that is the Kalib band that's exactly why I started

it. It's about 11 years ago friends said you should write a song your parents can

listen to. I wrote a little like pop country song and then I thought okay I'll do

some more of this and the album was all about giving them an album they could

actually listen to and not be terrified. If you're listening. Family of Kalib.

That sort of reminds me of my mom like when when I was painting more so now it's

been like a lot of photography and music and but I was painting a lot more like

10 years ago and my mom like let's say for example I was having an art show

instead of a summit and her her dialogue with me would be like so stuff and did

you make that art that sells or that weird stuff that like you like to make

normally and I was like mom it doesn't it doesn't work like that it's like I make

art some of itself some of the categories of art yeah is it weird and unsalable or

is it normal and people want to look at it exactly so I was like mom it doesn't

work like that just make art and some of it sells but one other story now that

you mentioned that I don't think my which is between weird art, commercial art,

if you do whatever you do and it makes money, it's instantly valid. Like, oh, are

you making money with it? Okay, that's fine. - Nice. - And shout out to my mom,

grad school. I'm doing all this gender studies, art, performance, crazy stuff,

and some of the early Audio Terrorist has that as an element. And I wanted to shoot

this cover with my back. I had long hair at the time. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna

put on this corset and then you shoot me from the back. I say, hey mom, I'm over

here. Could you do the camera? I'll set it up, you just click it. So the whole

photo shoot was actually done in my parents' garage by my mother. And then, okay.

- Was it her corset or is it like, oh man, that's love. - Okay, I love it.

- Personal experience, definitely. - So, yeah. - Amazing. - Yeah,

my dad always has two questions. Are you making money and are you getting married?

Somehow, somehow he always-- - Does he want to make his-- - No, I mean, he probably

does, but he always jumps-- - Great kids. - He always jumps like too far ahead. So

it's not like, he's not like asking like-- - Like, are you dead yet or? - Are you

dead yet? (laughing) - No, like, I've been-- - I've been talking about your eternal

soul. - I've been trying to teach him, he's getting better. So I start saying like,

just ask me if I'm hanging out with anybody interesting. Like don't jump all the

way to marriage 'cause obviously he's gonna get an invitation when I'm getting

married, so he'll know. - When are you ever not hanging out with someone interesting?

- Well, I mean, that would just be a better start. We'd have a better conversation

as opposed to me telling my dad to be quiet. - So like, who is in your life

that's interesting these days, Steph? And that's what you want. - You're the most

interesting person in my life. Oh yay, you hear that dad? Yeah. I'm interesting.

Oh but the problem is, how am I not? What am I? Cheese and crackers? Okay, wait.

Jason, take off your headphones. Sounds good. Cory, ask me the question. No, I

feel... Cory, you're the most, you're the most interesting person in my life right

now. Okay, it means nothing to me now. I can't hear you guys. Can I put my

headphones on yet? Are you done? Are you sure? Okay, of course. Oh, there you go

there now. I can hear you again I'm curious about I'm curious about this music that

That that that your parent would look away. Are we gonna listen to the weird music

that doesn't sell are we listening to your parents? We're gonna listen to my parents

music Plus some of the weird music made to sound like my My parents would like it

that I can't wait because I because I listen to I listen to audio terrorist on the

way over here And I was wondering if you were gonna come in hot with like a bunch

of you know Electronic gear and like black boxes and stuff to make synth music or

are you gonna show up and like? Let’s Acoustify that crap and I'm kind of glad

you're acoustifying it because I have no idea how that's gonna work I am so

curious. I'm like, I can't wait. Well, you know, it wouldn't be Audio terrorist if

it didn't surprise you. Yeah, right? Yeah came in here. You had expectations I have

all the keyboards and the gear and you're like, okay, man. The songs are just so

interesting I'm a really really interesting stuff, and I didn't know you were

producer But now I'm like do you produce that stuff yourself? Yeah, oh all producing

Tim's been producing yeah with me the last year. That makes so much. Thank you rock

lotto show Yeah, nice. That's a lot - I changed my life. - Oh really? - Oh yeah.

- We met in Rock Lotto Band. - Went for a year. - No, you're kidding. - Yeah. - Two

years ago. - Nice. - Wow. - That's great. - Did you guys know you were going to do

a project like then and there or was it like later on you guys got back in touch?

- Oh, I think it kind of afterwards like, hey, we did good on that. Let's try

something else. - Could you play your Rock Lotto song? - We are going to play it.

- We are going to play it. - Oh, nice. - Nice. - I love this. - There's so many

treats. - Yeah. - Cross branding man. - There's so many treats going on there. I wish

you guys could have been in on my lunch conversation earlier today.

I was trying to explain rock Lotto and someone was like So wait do these people

hang out again after this four -week Intensive process and I was like some Yeah,

so and some living proof before Yeah, I hang out with Stefan. I'm not sure.

I didn't really meet you and rock nice shoes nice pants. All right, so we're gonna

So we're gonna start with the Kalib stuff Yeah, and what's this is kind of like

you said sort of like country folksy sort of Feel to it. I say that and then

people tell me I'm wrong you guys decide. All right, we're gonna decide I'll let

you know. I don't know the genres of the kids today. Hip to that. Oh those kids.

Wait genres still exist. No man the barriers have all been broken down I think

there's either no genres or like 10 ,000 genres depending on who you talk to. I

mean your music's like at least four or five genres I don't have a genre. Yeah, no

People ask me what it is, and I'm like, I don't know. It's music made for you

Music made for your parents. It's still music. It's music saxophone for your parents.

Yeah, it's saxophone for your parents That's essentially light sacks for mom and dad

Sometimes that's TMI. That's the original name of my band Funny fact that we called

ourselves light sacks for mom and dad before we changed it's a great having mom and

dad It's hit. Do we have their mics on is everybody's on cool All right,

you want to introduce this song? So this is a song called wizard on the stairs and

I want to just tell a little story. Well, I don't you know, I'll tell the story

after okay. I don't want to set the context Yeah, to be whatever you wanted to be

excellent, and then I'll tell you how it came about very good at this Can you I

want to be in your panel next year? I need to know production though, so

Give me a call and give me my card. All right, Mr. Tim, let’s do “Wizard on the Stairs”

[Music Playing]

- Woo! - Nice. - Thank you. (audience applauding) - Yeah, that does not sound like

Audio Terrorist. That's for sure. definitely not what would you say the biggest

differences oh this like everything yeah there's yeah it's not hard my parents will

listen to it rock yeah parents with us and yeah my parents absolutely yeah my dad

would be like hey yeah I kind of like that that should be on the radio kind of

swing it he would bop along to that for sure yeah you want to make a saxophone

version Oh, do I ever yeah, I would love to play sax in that song. You kidding me

like a sweet love song. Yes, please Call me up Has that has this stuff is this

brand new or has this been recorded or like what the acoustic is brand new? But

this was a single on my Kalib album So this with the full drums bass guitar all

that stuff is available Kalib K a L I be Dot lib .~~bandcamp~~Bandcamp .com and all the other

platforms too, but I tend to update Bandcamp more frequently. And when did you

record that album as Kalib?

The singles started like 2010, something like that. I think “My Girl” was 2009, 2010, and then I did a single every year. And then we did the album four years ago, something like that.

We did the final album compilation with a couple

bonus tracks. And both of you guys are in both, have been in both projects, the

Kalib and the Audio Terrorist or? No, Tim wasn't on the Kalib album. So we, we

first met Rock Lotto. Rock Lotto? Yeah. Oh, Balanced Breakfast. Um, we did a song

that we will be doing a third suspense and, um,

then after we did the Rock Lotto, I said, Hey, I think that song would be a good

single. So let's do that as a Kalib single for the second album. Right.

And, uh, that's what kind of got the ball rolling. And then I said, Hey, by the

way, I have this Audio Terrorist album that I'm putting out. I know you were studying

some mastering techniques. Could you help me with that? Oh, and by the way, I've

got wrote this new Audio Terrorist song, and I could use some mixing help. And what do

you think of these lyrics? And he just kept saying yes.

- Tim is 100%. - Yeah. - He's in. - It was a fun project. And I'm not into that

kind of music normally, so I kind of took it on to challenge myself. Same thing

with Rock Lotto. I thought it was all about trying new things, meeting new people.

- Definitely. - Yeah, super did. - So agreeing to do stuff like the Audio Terrorist

tracks and mixing those is like pushing me so outside my comfort zone and like, can

I make this sound good? Like, okay, now I'm growing as a producer and I'm trying

new genres and making it happen. - Are you playing audio terrace out live these

days? - Yeah, we have a show March 11th in 11th in Seattle.

Okay. And by complete coincidence. Okay. But this cosmically. Wait for it.

First venue we're playing is called Tim's Tavern. Oh wow. Amazing.

I wish I could be there. “Branded”. And Tim's not coming. He'll be there. And in

name. Yeah. Sorry that's all backwards. So wrong. Another - Another, Audio Terrorist are

both a kind of rock. I did you hear some of the rock stuff with the guitar?

- Yeah. - And then you hear some of the electronic stuff, and then I do some like

totally abstract electronica. There's a shout out to Frank Martin.

At Resonant Frequencies in Oakland, it’s an open mic for electronic arts, and I

called up Tim and I said, "I'm gonna do an Electronic audio terrorist collage piece

for about you know, oh, maybe a half hour Would you play with me?

Wow? Just one like tomorrow night, and you have no time to practice. Is that cool?

Yeah, yeah, what key is it dude? I did say it's abstract

Again, put outside comfort zone. Oh, yeah, you know, what do you growth? What were

you - Were you playing guitar or what were you doing? - I was playing keyboard, like

since. - Oh, keyboard, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it, when did that happen? - A

year ago? - I think it was a year. - Was it, did you like it? Was it good?

- Yeah, I thought so. - Were people into it? - Yeah, I mean, as much as people are

an electronic open mic, everybody sort of sitting down and chilling out,

listening to the music and smoking weed. So they weren't and like raging or anything

but yeah they were tuned in nice it's available on YouTube oh cool the big like

the whole the whole concert yeah that's a performance and they had a video guy

doing like these two huge screens of abstract video and I'm cool I'm using live and

able to push to do triggering and play stuff and then I have a theremin so I'm

like…

So what do you do you have a preference at all for what you you know all these

different things you've played like is there something that Today you enjoy the most

playing live or in the studio or is it or do you just love doing all of it? I've

always loved doing all of it, but I will say I'm I'm enjoying playing live more Mm

-hmm, and so that's focus. I'm doing is to sort of build a fan base and draw and

drawing more people so that I can play live more. - And you like playing live,

like, electronic stuff the most? - No, I like it all. So, you mentioned the Beatles.

- Yeah. - I didn't know until two years ago that the biggest selling Beatles album

is the White Album now. Because growing up, I thought that was the Weird Album,

and I loved it. 'Cause Every track was something new and surprising. So to me,

that's normal.

Yeah, right one reason Audio Terrorist got the name is the terrorist bit was from

a book in 1984 They read by Kathy Acker called “Blood and Guts in High School”and

she said she defied she had this paragraph that said Defined terrorists as someone who can surprise people. And when people rode in my 1976 Pinto

around listening to my mixtapes, damn they were surprised to rock after track.

So I've never felt those sort of genre barriers. So to me, like, where's it on the stairs? Yeah, I can put an electronic behind this and do

it as a hip -hop track. It's all about, to me, that's just an arrangement. That's

not the song if you guys met in rock lotto that explains why you dressed in these

wild outfits that you're wearing tonight with the wigs and the makeup and like I

was thinking when you guys walked in you looked quite strange yesterday I thought it

was two women at first yeah The White Album and yeah it's quite wild what you guys are

wearing try to prove it's not well I have changed my style because before I

- It was my thing for long long long. - The furry thing for long long. - So I like

about radio. Try to prove that you're not dressed like that now. - It's possible.

- I had to change things, you know. - You're going kind of the modest mouse or like

the dead mouse Daft Punk thing. You didn't want people to see who you were. - Well,

you know, I still showed my face. - Oh, okay. - You're all the squirrel -like face,

naturally. - I just figured, so anybody who doesn't know what Rock Lotto is, we put

a bunch of names in a hat.

We usually get about 40 submissions and we make bands of five and you get no

control over who's in your band. It's very random. And then you have one month to

create 10 minutes of original music to perform in front of a live audience. So

that's how these two met each other and then-- - How random is it because we were

in the same band and that seems, it's still very random actually. - I was just

gonna say, if I had the choice, I would not have put you in my band. So that's

what random is, definition. - So you're feeding this into a computer program and then

telling it to spit out random.

A little shout out on this and I want to ask you guys what did you think the song

was about man I didn't think it was intricate I listen for me it's mostly about

listening not to the lyrics it's to like everything else lyrics come through time a

lot more listens so what he's saying is he likes Tim's playing that's what I focus

on he's more of a Tim guy than a - Yeah, he's waiting for the Tim Solo Man 5 ,000

project.

So what is it about a kidney tilt? - So I had a friend some years ago who I

found out had cancer and she was like calling me over Skype 'cause she's in

Germany. And I said, I was going and she's like wow this chemo was really horrible

and I said well if you're brave enough and you get through the chemo I'll write

you a song oh wow nice so we we talked over Skype and she was always like so

how's the song coming I was like oh yeah it's coming along I didn't write a stitch

right yeah it's like I can't think of what to write yeah that's yeah that's more

of an Yeah, and and then she got through the chemo and everything was cool.

Oh, where's my song? Oh, I'm still working on it…

And then one day out of the blue it just kind of came to me this idea that like

how technology has made us all wizards Whoa, because I have my crystal ball and I

can talk to her in Germany, right? Yeah, you Skype is like this crystal ball. Oh,

oh, I can see the distant far out lands and this person going through all this

stuff and we're communicating and isn't that magical? So that's the idea.

For the for the next two songs you should do them in a row with just our cheering

in the middle Do you think so? Yeah, I think it would go well. I agree. Well, I'm

gonna Cap on that idea. No, it's got the right Now capitalize on that idea and say

not this next song, but the song after it Okay, you guys could all come in at the

end. Oh, and share with the song Okay done, and you're gonna know what I mean.

You're gonna hear the first course. We're gonna go on the second course. Yeah, and

there'll be… Yeah, that'll be like a little break bridge and you'll come in you'll feel the

energy change at the end or you could just point you i want to be a part of this

Tim, how are they gonna see you while i'm in the squirrel coffin? why don't you

take five? i think we've fed enough to him yeah i loved you tim and now i just

practical man he was a silent one hanging out there being supported producer and me

jumped out and took over he's like a single genre i love it always trying to make

things too simple this is an intricate project Damn it Tim. You know you should see the conflicts we have. Yeah So shout out to Germany to Nina Langer.

For the next song I co -wrote with my wife Alex. It’s called “Find My Way”

[Music Plays]

Alex, love you. Hope the skiing trip went well

Yeah, so is there any water in this place? I Wouldn't drink the water in this place.

You want some club soda? You can finish this off. I don't have cold there.

There's a there's a a bathroom sink It's a little rusty,

it's good for the vocal cords. The bathroom works as well as the soundboard.

I can hear it working from here. It's also clipping. Yeah,

the toilet's clipping. The toilet's clipping again. Yeah, somebody turn the toilet

meter down. Yeah, jiggle that handle. Which channel is the bathroom? I think it's S6

or 7

It's on the sub mix it might be on the sub mix. I think it's channel 2 number 2

Number 2. I know I'm on channel. I'm number 1

Okay, yeah hit us with another jam and if anybody's worried about the lyrics of

that song Yeah, we had a little spot of trouble a couple years ago and I'm not

talking about me and you Of course. This is coded. This song is really about you,

Ted. Stop fighting. All about everything. Everything's about Ted. Are you guys getting

divorced? What? What? It's always about Ted.

But yeah, everything worked out. We were having a little spot of trouble when we

had some discussions in the song. She wrote the lyrics and did the music and then

said, "Hey, you know, this is kind of where I'm at," and we worked through it and

we are happily married and all that good stuff so don't worry the lyrics were about

a difficult time but we all have difficult times but we don't have any difficult

times now except for one thing I didn't use her vocal melody and she's never let

that down that's why it's a code why didn't she use it because I heard the song

and I just started singing it okay oh my god this sounds great I love this melody

and then she goes oh yeah that's interesting but you're singing it all wrong so

that one might that was started the original fight you're doing it all wrong to say

yes yeah I think we should write a song about setting up each of our shows because

I feel like we have troubles but we get over them we start our show find your

- Yeah, exactly. ♪ I will find the cable that has fallen out ♪ - Yeah,

there you go. - Yeah. - That would be a dark out. - And I'll chime into it. It's

one of those 10 that's buried under there with dust. I'm more greedy with my

vocals, you know. - Yeah, well, I think that's the Auditarius version. - Yeah. - You

want to do a guest vocal and Auditarius subtract? - I did warn you never to let me

join your band, right? As long as I did warn you, yes, I'd love love to join your

band does need to put that in there legally well played all right without further

ado this is the rock lotto song, “Rise Up!”

[Music Plays]

So wait were you pointing at us are dancing cuz I couldn't tell what's

happening there. - I was waiting for it. - I was so, I don't know. - I was so in

the moment. - Okay, cool. 'Cause you did have a two -finger dance and I was like,

is that us? - It's us, it's us. - I felt that was being conducted, but I didn't

know what part I was feeling. - You'll know what to do, you'll know what to do. I

didn't know what to do. –

- I'm glad you guys didn't come in, sorry. (laughing) - No, I think your vocals were

fantastic on their own, honestly. - So it was a two -finger dance move, right?

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, 'cause three was B -excessive. - Yeah. - That's what I saw. I

saw a two -finger dance moves. It was interesting to watch you shift your your vocal

tone got into like a you kind of left Tom Petty and went Tom York a little bit

there especially at the end it got got a lot more like gravelly and intense.

Went from free falling to I don't know Tom York a while I'm sorry. Joke fail.

Insert radio head song yeah. There's a there's a full rock version out there and

then We'd now start recording this one and Today was our first time actually

practicing this since September an acoustic version. Yeah, and he starts drumming and

I started singing and I by the way my voice completely went different place In this

room then the sound of whatnot then at his place, but we're just doing and I just

had this low voice and he goes Yeah, we're in a Doomsday Bunker all around the

fire. And then he's like, and now, yeah, he's sharpening your knife.

- Whoa. - This is 10 deep. - You just made that up like I was gone. - It was a

picture in the music video in my head, basically. Dark, like post -apocalyptic

Terminator. Garbage cans with flames coming out of them. - If I'm gonna afford to

die. - If that hasn't been made yet, I think The three of us are in like so just

let us know where to go. Oh, yeah, I'll be done. I'll put on the black face paint

I want to be the first of that just little eyeliner. Fuck who's coming in naked

like with a lightning bolt They came with a lightning bolt. Is that terminators one

of the terminators? I don't want to get shocked there. It's one of the terminators

Yeah, the first film. Yeah, Arnold makes his entrance

Yeah, naked, you know, yeah, was he Yeah, they they both for some reason they time

travel naked. I don't know why because your clothes can't time travel They're

apparently just your body. Yeah, obviously. Yeah

To the future they worked in back the field. Well, he went back inside of a car

You're going forward to them your clothes or whatever. That was a comedy Depends on

how many times around the universe you're gonna go. You don't have a car back or a

car forward Exploration of time travel right for example, but the next Bill and

Ted's movie. Oh, yeah, isn't that cut? Yeah, it's coming very shortly The subtitle

Bill and Ted If you rolls naked some sort of hero to make it sure. Yeah

My god, it'll be okay people really want to watch that Keanu,

I bet Keanu's in good shape. I don't know is the other guy. Yeah, I Yeah, I

wonder what he looks like. Yeah, be old looking. Yeah, it's the two of them again.

Yeah It's they're filming in San Francisco. They've been here like the last few

months doing isn't the matrix being filled here too Maybe that's what's going on.

Yeah, I feel it Alameda. Oh, yeah Oh, wait, we feel a matrix stuff out on Alameda.

I can't really I can't wait for a new matrix because two and three were just so

good You know, yeah, can we not a ruler and then they just stopped Yeah, can we

be in a I want to be in a tribe dancing with before explains two and three I

hope it's just like a what do they call it retconning where they just pretend two

and three didn't happen Oh, yeah, that's what I'm that's what I'm hoping for.

Just do the matrix to so. So anybody who died can just be brought back because it's like you're like this is another dimension We brought them from this other dimension, they're not dead. So we'll do the four, it should be all in ones, right? So it's matrix two. Ah,

I see. Oh, matrix two, two, that's really clever. And he should be in a dash or

two, and dash, yeah. Clever artists will figure out how to do the graphics. Is

there any chance that all that banter let us into your next song, like we've like,

is it about the future? In fact, it did. Oh, sweet. It perfectly segways and

you're gonna hear the song and you're gonna be shitting yourself because

you're gonna be How did we do that? Into the collected research, we less than

search the role of the rest of here and this one is the Audio Terrorist track This

is the audio track This is so my mom and dad can listen to audio terrorist.

I'd last actually not really. I don't think they'd like these lyrics. Here is “It’s the End”.

[Music Plays]

Oh, man. Was that like intentional? I feel existential dread. Yeah It's my everyday.

I feel like it was intentional like he must have like looked at the clock and

known that the podcast was like almost oh yeah just like oh my gosh is this the

last podcast after that no I mean today today like that there were minutes left in

our podcast yeah I mean this is the only podcast that people listen to so I agree

I wasn't pretty sure there are no other ones yeah yeah there were and we crushed

them. Yeah, we crushed them. The robot's crushed them. Yeah, right. Is that Tom

York? What, the robot's crushed? Yeah.

There's a paranoid android that's sort of like a robot. Sort of a computer. Yeah,

okay computer. Yeah. Well, that was awesome. And I think we should probably start

wrapping up. I was feeling it. Yeah. I was feeling this whole hour.

track your heroine oh great yeah yeah so that's a bouncy yeah it's all sunshine and

yeah rainbows yeah what is what is your I know what I was gonna say now I know I

now know how it ends yeah what I mean the end is drawing near and then you do

heroin oh that's the end Oh, you gotta listen to the lyrics and the lyrics you

gotta listen to the lyrics. Yeah, there's are you advocating that? It's not as bad

as we might have thought it was I don't I'm not gonna spoil your kids

This is not your brain on drugs. I'm not getting my hopes up for rainbows

But I bet it's really good song is not for his parents. Actually, I know it's

really good because I And so, do you want to introduce the song and then we'll say

our goodbyes and we'll play it? - Sure.

Yeah, I hate to say what a song's about to anybody. Everybody should listen to a

song and it be about themselves and their own experience and inspire them. For me,

I sang this song out at karaoke bars for six months As I decided to quit my

career and just focus on music and every damn I did it I said this is what this

is about nice Cool story. That is a good intro. Yeah, you know what I hate.

I hate saying goodbye. Oh It's so sad. I'm sad. Although probably be sad because

we're listening to dark music Okay, fine.

by Stefan. Who have you been? This is Stefan from Bound's Breakfast. It's been great

to be here with you today. And I'm Jason from Great Highway. Thank you for

listening and I'm with... I'm Corey from Silent Dogood. And here is Audio Terrorist with “Your Heroin”.

[Music Plays]

Sunday Live (2021)

[Unavailable]

After coving a bunch of other bands, Joe Price and I covered Audio Terrorist. Can’t find the file of my own show! Managing Terabytes of data and media over 40 years, even in the era of Terabytes of storage can be still challenging without a consistent content management system. Perhaps it will be found for version 2.0 of this book.

Piqued (2022)

[Unavailable]

You and Korey ramble about synths and connections. The Bitter Suite session, right? Another book version 2.0 addition to find, transcribe and include.

KJCC: Ochoa Show (2023)

[Unavailable]

Jeff invited us back to discuss new tracks such as “The Bitter End”… Even more book version 2.0 material to find, transcribe and include. Getting shows booked, getting there, setup, doing the show, getting home is sometime such a journey, asking for the recordings slips through. The event seems so important until the day after when it isn’t, and the recording is everyone’s low priority.

If I recall correctly some KJCC material was lost, I forget why. I know some KSJS material was lost in a house fire! So, sometimes the circumstances are very understandable. In other cases, early material was just so hard to record and distribute. Today that is no longer the case, but getting someone to record the broadcast still has it’s place.

North Beats I [Solo] (2024)

Audio Terrorist turns 40 with a journey through resistance and sound evolution

Summary by Korey Luna

In an in-depth conversation with Korey Luna for the North Beats podcast, Kalib DuArte, the mind behind Audio Terrorist, opens up about the ongoing challenges he has faced with his vocal training and the impact it has had on his music production. Over the years, Kalib has had to navigate through speech therapy and vocal training sessions to manage recurring laryngitis, a journey that has shaped his recent works.

Kalib reflects on the arduous process of creating the 40th anniversary album of Audio Terrorist, revealing how his struggles with vocals, combined with technical setbacks, turned a straightforward project into a two-year ordeal. Despite these challenges, Kalib speaks passionately about the evolution of his sound, his use of both traditional and digital tools, and the personal resistance he’s had to overcome to continue producing music. He also discusses his innovative approach to remastering old tracks, blending new technology with the raw, experimental spirit that has always defined Audio Terrorist.

The conversation highlights Kalib's perseverance and dedication to his craft, providing a unique insight into the creative process behind one of the most influential projects in the industrial music scene. As he prepares to release a new album and a comprehensive book chronicling the history of Audio Terrorist, Kalib's reflections offer a powerful narrative of artistic evolution and the relentless pursuit of originality.

The Interview

Part One:

Welcome to North Beats Podcast. I'm Cory Luna. The month is August of 2024 and Peaked has a new monologues video dropping this month featuring EuroRack company New Systems Instruments. This was a lot of fun Rich and I had working with Evan Boswell who created this company. He's got a wonderful line of analog synthesizers for everyone to play with. Find them at your local synth shops. They're really fun and you're going to really enjoy this one. This is the first time we've had a chance to do a monologues with a developer of EuroRack modules. One of the first of its kind. Hopefully there will be others after this. This will be our fourth monologues that we have released. Look forward to that on our YouTube channel Peaked.fm. Peaked 5th year anniversary show is August 31st at Mission Synths in San Francisco's Mission District on 24th and Harrison. The lineup is Amy Lee with a performance using her music app Anilog. Then we have a performance by Shipwreck Detective and our third act will be Sirnai with Steve Bryson. Video projections for the performance created by Fetz. There will be a Q&A for all artists after their sets and we'll take questions from the audience. Richard has made some limited edition Peaked shirts for the event. If you're in the San Francisco Bay Area, please come to our show. Admission is free. On this episode of North Beats Podcast, I spoke with Caleb Duarte about his upcoming 40th anniversary album of Audio Terrorist. From the day we met in 2019, Caleb has been a friend. So our conversations are long and in depth. Caleb will be on North Beats Podcast again soon to talk about MetaSynth as there's been a recent uptick in interest. Please enjoy this interview with Audio Terrorist.

Part Two:

The velvety smooth voice of the evening. [LAUGHTER] How has your vocal training been going? I know over the years, it's been you've had to retrain your voice, and I was curious to check in and how have you been on that? It's ongoing. I'm now down to just once a month of speech therapy, and an hour a week of singing training, about five hours a month that I'm working on the voice. The laryngitis is happening less often and for shorter extent, and a lot of it turned out to have the root cause being the tongue. Really? Yeah. It'll sound like I can't speak, I can't hit notes, and it's all the tongue, man. Wow. Tongue is getting too involved. There's other resonance issues. With the medical speech therapist, we're doing a lot of, I don't have an example in here, breathing through a straw. They called it a partially occluded larynx, but which basically means I have a habit of controlling airflow with the vocal folds. There's a lot of conventions, user interface conventions I noticed are falling by the wayside. Recently, I hired a marketing person to help with Audio Terrorist and get the word out for the 40th anniversary. She said, "Hey, just do a bunch of these little social media clips." Well, if you do it on your phone and hold it up, you're going to get 16 by 9 aspect ratio, it's all ready to go. If you're going to get a video clip to edit to that format, it's not obvious how to do that. You're like, "This is the number one most common video format. Why is this a challenge?" You look in QuickTime recent, I guess maybe the last decade, QuickTime no longer has the options they had before doing video and trimming and editing. Okay, fine. I'm going to go into iMovie. I don't see a way to do this here. I'm going to get Final Cut Pro. I'm just going to drop the money for it. Get Final Cut Pro. Can't even figure out how to... I've edited a movie in Final Cut Pro. I don't know if it was four. I edited a video in Final Cut Pro one. The current Final Cut Pro, I can't even tell you what I'm looking at, let alone how to use it. After several hours and several videos later, I gave up. I said, "Okay, this isn't for me." Went back to a Windows application that I find extremely easy. It works kind of how Adobe Premiere work, but even more intuitive. And figured out how to output the video in the right format ratio. Great. Started hacking through things. I could whip out 20 clips in like 20 minutes in this app, but the audio masters I was putting behind stuff was getting clicks and clipping. So I'm like, "Okay, can't use that." So go back over to the Mac. Look up more YouTube videos on how to do this. Find a YouTube video that there's a feature called... It's like something like Make App Preview in iMovie. And you click it, and then you drag and drop a 16 by 9 into the timeline. It will rejigger the aspect ratio. Then you can add other video clips and audio, and then trim it down to 20 seconds, and then delete what you brought in in the first place, and then hit the share button or the publish button on the top right, and then you'll be able to export the video. This makes no sense. It is so overly complicated to achieve the simplest thing. And so I don't know if it's like a generation that's just forgotten how to design software, or I've gotten old and all the kids get it. You know, I'm willing to accept that, but come on, something that takes you down the rabbit hole every time you try to do something versus an app that 20 years ago just did it and was intuitive. Yeah, that's a poor app design. Sounds like it. And even... So when I started using Final Cut Pro, which I still use, because I have a license for it, and I don't have to renew it. I started using it, I think, in like 2011 was when I first started using it. And so that was what I learned on, and that's why I still use it today, because I understand it. The industry has changed over that timeframe, you know, and drastically, because Adobe Premiere became very popular, and it still is very popular. And they even have implemented AI engines, or AI in general, into Adobe Premiere to create content when you need it. And I haven't done it myself. I just know of it just through friends talking to me about it, which is interesting. And I've seen the results. It's actually pretty good. Like, you can't tell that it is AI, which is scary, but it works for what you need it to do. Now, the other video editing software that you and I were talking about is DaVinci Resolve. And I know about that, again, through friends, at least two of my friends that I know from Resident Frequencies, Mark Letzner and Dorian Gunnels, both use DaVinci Resolve for various projects. And I know Mark Letzner was using DaVinci Resolve for editing some of the video that he was taking at the live shows. And he was using Blackmagic as well, as part of, at least the hardware, he was using Blackmagic. I don't know if it was the software as well, and then maybe went to DaVinci Resolve. But because of me knowing about it, and they were telling me how much better color was for balancing and getting more color to pop, that was something that I mentioned to Rich so that we could use it for Pete, 'cause he's been using Adobe Premiere for monologues. And so the first three that we've produced, all done in Adobe Premiere editing. And I think he's gonna be using DaVinci Resolve for the next two. I don't know, maybe a mix between Adobe Premiere and DaVinci Resolve. I'm not entirely sure. I'll have to talk to him about that later on, but I'm pretty sure he's also has found out through other videographer friends that DaVinci Resolve has been much better for color balance. So that's something that he's been looking into, and I'll find out more about that later. And I myself eventually should probably start learning DaVinci Resolve, 'cause that seems like a lot of artistic people are using that as a better standard compared to Final Cut Pro and Adobe Premiere. - Yeah, I'm really shocked by Final Cut Pro. The earlier versions, I guess that was pre-2011, were more like Premiere. The really early version had a problem where you could edit video in it, but editing video to audio, it...

Part Three:

Audio to video. Again, Premiere, straightforward A, B, like tape roll, edit, chop chop, up, clips of audio, chop chop, put to your video, done. And what I've used over the years is Vegas Pro, which is a Windows app. And you know, you grab the end, you pull it in, it's a fade, you right mouse click it, you choose the fade curve, it's right there. And you're going to find a cut program like how do I do a fade? Oh, it's this little dot. And how do I shape the fade? You know, after our YouTube videos, I still couldn't figure that one out. So yeah, any app that streamlines things, so I could quickly achieve something. That's where it's at. You know, this whole going down rabbit hole and finding yourself at 2 a.m. on a Reddit forum trying to figure out the simplest of things about an app, that's just horrible app design. And again, I find it more and more, that's how I'm interacting with apps. The problem with on the Windows side, other than my big beast laptop dying, is crashes. I've lost several videos in the last year, keep losing audio takes when I'm doing vocals, trying to track. So eventually, because of taking on UNI software and MetaSynth, I had more and more Macs around me again. And so it made sense for me to just go, fine, let's go back to the Mac, get Logic, put Melodyne on Logic and just have that as a baseline for building tracks. Logic has a great comping tool. Rather than taking a bunch of takes and chopping, you can just take a bunch of takes and then you literally just kind of highlight and paint which piece of which take you want, and it ends up in the comp and it does all the cross fading. And I can't hear the cross fading. And that is a great user interface. That is a great resource that quickly makes things quick to do. The chopping method, while it works, again, classic Premiere, Vegas, it does mean you're chunking this out, you're chunking this out, you're chunking this out. And what Tim showed me a few years ago was if you had two iPhones and you shot the video and you brought it into Final Cut Pro, it would intelligently know the audio, since the audio is the same in the two clips, and you could just click on the screen and A, B, roll it. Rather than going chop, chop, chop, you could just, you have your music, drop in your backing track and sync it up with the backing track you played while you shot the video, and you could quickly just go doot, doot, doot, and click which clip you wanted. So that's very smart. So there are aspects of Final Cut Pro that still have value, but again, Adobe has certainly jumped ahead with Photoshop and Premiere having the AI features. Because I don't know how many of the older videos where the camera went slightly off, where now that's fine. Camera goes slightly off, it'll just composite in something. If you don't go too far off, you get this kind of auto-fill. Things that I used to have to sit there in Photoshop and use the brush to extend, because a little, like, I took the frame, a photo of someone, and there's a slight, there's a vertical wall that, because of the angle, created a slight diagonal that's cutting in, and I want to extend that space, and that's now child's play, right? It is. I've seen examples where you can take that a little too far. I worked with, oh, I just remembered I need to end a subscription. Kia, what's it called? Kai, K-A-I. It's like a virtual reality video generator. You know, you pay so much credit, you get so many minutes and whatnot. I did a little video clip where I took the cover of the latest single and said, "Okay, take this cover as a starting place and generate eight seconds of video." Put in some prompts and whatnot, and it starts out first by being slightly racist in that it straightened the person's hair. You're like, obvious things of how they've modeled. You're like, "Oh, okay, straight hair is better than curly. Okay, that's what the model says." Then it did some panning of her in the mirror, blah, blah, blah, and then it kind of went off into this different narrative about some other bride at a wedding. I go, "Okay, it drifted off topic. Let's cut that." That was about a year ago when I was playing around with, maybe nine months ago, playing around with that. I was going to do a video, and then I saw someone use the platform and did a video far better than what I think I would have done. I'm like, "Okay, I need to get off the platform." But subscription service, right? They're still billing me five bucks or six bucks or whatever a month, and I've forgotten about it. >> Yeah. Annoying. >> Yeah. So tools, that's kind of the general theme right now is I'm trying to find the tools and approaches which generate the most content with the least effort, and I'm totally failing at it. >> Oh. >> A year and a half ago, I said, "Okay, for Auditoria's 40th anniversary, I'm going to do a new album." Then as I worked through a bunch of material, I realized there were some remixes that never got released properly. Okay, I'll put a little remix EP, and then that extended to being a remix album, and then that extended to where now the ripping has gotten so good, I was able to go back to something from the album in 1988 and fix something that had bugged me ever since, which was a live recording where we were playing a train. We're using metal and sticks to play like the wheels of the train, which act like bells. Right in the middle of this recording, a guy started talking. I'm like, "Oh, man, that was such a cool piece of real industrial music, right?" >> Yeah. >> Sticks and metal and iron, and boom, AI ripping. Rip it into stems, isolate the vocal, done. >> Amazing. >> You live long enough, the tool will come along so you can do the thing that you originally envisioned. >> That's amazing. So Audio Tterrorist 40th anniversary album, tell me more about the production. What's your tentative release date? >> So a year ago, it was looking good. I had three producers on it, maybe four. I wanted to do a few more covers. Typically, I do originals, maybe I'll throw one cover in on an album. And I thought, "This time I'm going to do like half covers. I'm going to do the single of... Well, actually take me a little further back." When I looked at the catalog from the last performance, there were songs that I added to live shows that were covers that never got on an album. And I wanted to finish those, like make a true Audio Tterrorist version. So we started working a year ago on a cover of Lucretia, My Reflection by Sisters of Mercy, which I put at the end of several shows. >> My girlfriend loves that track, by the way, that you sang on, that cover song. >> That's right. You said you had played it. Thank you for that. It was one of those situations where I'm going to do this album, I've sketched it all out on Bandcamp, and just need to finish and polish them. So I created like the general set with demos. And then I wanted to work with different producers to actually make the final version. So that one started off as just like a karaoke backing track that I'd used live that I wanted to make into a full Audio Tterrorist final production. And met a guy here in Seattle, and we started talking about it. And he had never done electronic music before. Everything he's done has been rock. And I said, "Well, I want to do this rock thing, but this electronic thing." And we started working on it. And he, yeah, he really moved it into a space and stretched himself and got this backing track going. And then I'm like, "I want it to end with acoustic guitar." And he was like, "You want it?"

Part Four:

Wanna what? So we went back and forth and it was something I picked up from actually Madonna's “Ray of Light” album that William Orbit produced. Yeah. It was a track where it crossfaded into acoustic guitar at the end so seamlessly like you, you, it didn't stand out at all. And I thought that is brilliant. I want, I want this in Lucretia. I had this vision of the driving train and the lyric and the, and the, and the music. And like this train pulls away from some old train station and there's just some guy busking with an acoustic guitar on, on the platform. That's cool. As the train pulls away. So ~~typically~~typically, with me, an album is kind of like a movie for me that I'm making. And a lot of Audio Terrorist’s~~itorius~~ albums are instrumental. T ~~and t~~hey're just soundtrack albums for movies unmade. They might have one track with vocals or a couple tracks. Partially because of all the vocal troubles I've had, but also because they're typically conceptual and I'll have a whole package. So Resistance, which is the album that I hoped would come out on the 40th anniversary in October. I don't think it's going to happen. We'll, we'll, we'll see what I'm able to pull off, but I had stopped making music. I had started doing music business and that eventually, I know for one ~~reason~~reason, or another got me to not be producing. And you think COVID lockdown would have been a huge time to make music, but I was busy interviewing other people about their music, promoting other people, helping them market themselves. And I sort of forgot about myself. And when I came back at it, I was having this chronic laryngitis or what I thought was laryngitis, or is it acid reflex? I'm going to doctors, I'm doing throat scans, all these things. And so I thought I was pretty much done. And then I said, well, how can I lower the bar of Resistance to getting back to doing more tracks and doing an album for the 40th anniversary? And so that's the title Resistance came from that. It was my own personal resistance. Like every time I'd go to create, it was just this wall. And everything else had been, I was still getting releases out, but it was all backlogged. It was nothing new. And I thought, well, I've got some covers like Lucretia that I want to do. And I had built some backing tracks for a soundtrack album called Vampire's Ball that I had meant to put vocals to. And I thought, well, rather than writing new lyrics, one of them is very much like the Smiths' How Soon Is Now. It's got that jangly guitar in the beginning. So why don't I just cover How Soon Is Now on top of that backing track? I'd written a lyric called "Die Before You Get Old" for it. But I'm like, you know, rather than finishing that and whatnot, what I just do, maybe an album of covers for the 40th anniversary. It's counterintuitive. And that one popped out. So there's this jangly guitar. And then things didn't fit. So I started chopping up the lyrics for How Soon Is Now to make it fit the music. Again, the goal was to try to make the path the least amount of work to get through the resistance. And then somewhere along the line, I hired Ed Clare to work on it. And he said, "Ah, let's just throw all the music out. And let's start over again." And he did a completely new arrangement based on several hours of conversation of what I wanted from it and what he thought was authentic audio terrorist and authentic me. I would ask for things and he would say, "No, no, no. That's not really you." So we had this conversation for a good year. And that started drifting things from this pure cover tunes into truly audio terrorist versions of things. And so we got that done a couple months ago, after a year of talking about it. Lucretia, I went to do the vocals and lost my voice. So I show up to the recording session with the producer first time working with him, and I can barely speak, let alone sing. Wow. So we positioned me hunched over the microphone below me, about chest level, and me hunched over, because hunched over, I could get the vocal folds to close. Wow. And it actually became a good vocal. In the end, he did amazing work in editing through that. And it made this really gruff kind of, "I hear the roar of a big machine." Because that's all I could say. I can only like, kind of hush, whisper, growl out the vocal. And with, you know, again, editing, it turned out, I think, to be the right vocal for that track, but wasn't intended. Unfortunately, there was a problem with the vocal recording that created a harshness that I could hear, and about a third of my friends could hear, but nobody else could hear. And that led to a six-month journey of trying to figure out what it was and fix it. So the track was started around this time last year, should have been done by the fall, and didn't get released until like, April this year. Because that one issue. And then that one issue carried over into a couple remixes. And then I had to work with those producers to fix the same issue in their remixes. So this thing was supposed to be a fast, like, "Hey, I'm going to get past my resistance of writing new songs. I'm going to do a couple cover tunes. I'm going to hire external producers, rather than doing it myself and just focus on my vocal performance and my vocal issue. That's going to be easier, right? It's going to be faster, right?" And it didn't pan out that way. And it became a whole other journey that I didn't expect. And one of the things that came out of that is, I now have a level of confidence I didn't have a year ago. Because I knew I was right. I knew this problem existed. I could hear it. I could feel it. It was bugging me. And I was like, "Oh, I'm going to do it." And I did it. I did it.

Part Five:

A bunch of people were saying things like, "Ah, it's just you. It's not a problem." But boy, when the track got fixed, it was literally like someone stopped clawing on the chalkboard. And I'm like, "You just relax." And you could hear it. All of a sudden, the song just kind of snapped to another level. But it turned out to be a much longer journey. And then another, the third track, which was complete original, the producer finished the backing track. I struggled to get the final lyrics. Months and months kept going by where I was rewriting the lyrics, redoing the vocals, had them comp it. And then I'd say, "It's not good enough," throw it out, go back and do it again. When the 40th anniversary was coming up, I wanted to do a couple things. One, I wanted to get a book out. Two, I wanted to get a new album. And three, I wanted to get a retrospective album. So with the book, the framework is done. It's going to have lyrics over the years. It's going to have history of the band. It's going to have the discography with stories about each track. And nowadays, dictation is built right into the Mac. So I can just tell stories and it will type it. So producing a book about the band is not the Herculean task it used to be, because the tech has arrived. Having a friend of mine, Joe Price, who I believe you've chatted with before, do the introduction and talk about the origins of the band and his connection to the San Francisco Bay Area and the history of how it came about. Because it has this cross-link with fandom, science fiction fantasy fandom, and specifically science fiction fandom, that nowadays is big. It's big money, right? When I was growing up, that was a real niche thing. If you were into football, you were the mainstream. If you were into science fiction, you were pretty darn niche. And I grew up in a suburban area where there wasn't a lot of culture. It was just, again, very generic space. And all the interesting people were interesting, but they were fan-interesting. Nothing was original, because it's hard to get someone into your original thing. It's easier to get someone into your parody of Star Trek than it is doing something fresh. And I mean truly fresh, not like, "I'm in a punk band that's a little different, it's not mainstream." Well, it still is. When you bang a piece of metal against a train wheel to make it sound like a bell, that's different, right? You're experimenting. And I really wanted to push that space. I didn't have the skill, technology, or talent, or finances, to do that in a sophisticated way. So Audioterra came from two things. One, just a struggle to do something purely creative and original with limited resources. And part of that had to do with cassette cut-ups and mash-ups. Because I would find bits of tape in gutters, and I'd get a pencil out and I'd wind them onto wheels, and I'd get scotch tape and I would cut them and splice them together and find out what were on these cassettes. And it would be like these different 70s rock bands, and they would cut in the middle of a song to another band or another song. So that was a way of me discovering what was out there in the world. As far as speakers, I didn't have any money for speakers, so I would take the speakers out of old busted radios. There was a box of busted radios that my dad had for some reason, and I would glue it to a tissue box or a cardboard box, and then I'd paint the cardboard box and use thumb tacks and push it into the wall in my room and go over to Radio Shack. And I didn't have a soldering iron, so I would just twist the wires and then splice them together into a little head and plug it into this cassette player I got. And suddenly I could play this stuff with multiple speakers in my room. And so it was very crude, and the first decade of Audio Terrorist was very much that crude space. I had this little pocket cassette recorder that was smaller, and I'd show up at a science fiction convention. It might be two in the morning, a friend of mine's playing piano, and I would just record him. And it'd be a moment where some drunk person at the hotel came by and said, "Oh, that's a great composition by, um, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." And my friend would totally bullshit the guy and be like, "Oh yeah, yeah, this is that, you know, that one track by So Blahvonoff," or whatever. Like, "Oh yeah, I love him," and whatever. Little moments like that. Or we went into the restroom and we're peeing, and he starts this routine about some gal, and I just start flushing all the toilets and urinals in the room. And you know, recording this stuff where I'm recording a friend talking and the battery is dying, and so the tape is slowing down, therefore everything's faster. So then I, later on when I have access to other gear, I bounce those recordings up. So it was this really kind of chaotic, random sampling of things. And the name had a couple different origins, and one of them was Kathy Acker's Blood and Guts in High School, which is a cut-up style book a la William S. Burroughs. Kathy Acker kind of followed in Burroughs' tradition of creating these very visceral, what many people would say offensive, stuff. And she had a bit about terrorists as people who surprise you or something like that. And I thought, well that reminded me of these cassettes and also these cassette tapes when I got my first car. I'd compile tracks that I thought were interesting. And again, it was stuff I would find at used record shops no one had heard of, at least no one I knew had heard of. It might be something like by Nash the Slash from Canada, and then the next thing would be a Klaus Nomi track, and the next thing would be some New Wave track. And people would be trapped in my car with these mixtapes that I had that were just looking back, like incoherent style. You know, "Alson Pavarotti is singing," and next moment it's a Neil Diamond song, or whatever. And so that idea of surprising with music, and you never know what the next track's going to be, was definitely a key part of it, and a big influence on that was the Beatles' White Album. When I first heard the Beatles' White Album, I was like, "Oh my God, there's the Beatles, this big band that created this very cohesive body of work, and they did an album like this?" Where one moment it's like a Tin Pan Alley, and then it's a rock song, then it's experimental collage, and that's okay, and that kind of gave me permission to explore that. So there's like two aspects. One is this exploration, and kind of more conceptual art piece, and the other one is this chaos that comes from having multiple interests, but also having restricted skill. And when I say restricted skill, I mean either not a great singing voice, not a great musician, or just resources, funds, right? So you use what you have around you in this chaotic way just to get the creative spirit out. And the net result that came out the other end was kind of secondary. It was, "No, I have these, here's a cassette of this stuff that I've generated, and I've edited it down into some form." And I really thought in those first six years that what I was doing, no one else would be interested in it. I made my little handmade labels on my cassettes and handed them to people, and I got some in university radio stations and whatnot. And I was shocked when I was out dancing at a club, and a guy came up to me and said, "Oh, you're that guy! I play your stuff on my show! I love it! It's weird, and you never know what to expect!" And I was like, "Oh, okay. Well, there's one person in the universe that's listening to this stuff." But it really, again, was like a friend had a little keyboard, and I played a little melody on it, and I'd have access to another keyboard. So that was a piece. Or a couple gals that he knew came over to visit, because he had this garage. He was a little more upscale suburban than I was. And so he had this garage that people would hang out at. And these two gals walked in, and I just gave one of them a clock of orange and said, "Read this," and put a microphone in front of her. And so she's reading from a clock of orange, and a friend came over, or at some point, someone came in, and I said, "Read the Jabberwocky." So he's reading the Jabberwocky, and she's reading a clock of orange. And then I put this little reggae beat behind it on the keyboard, and suddenly it was a piece. And that to me was Audioterrorist in the purest form.

Part Six:

Because suddenly something had happened that wasn't conventional and was original, truly original. And I... It's still though, like a piece like that though, still is fandom, right? It's still Clockwork Orange, it's still Jabberwocky, it has that. I'm taking fandom and chopping up things in a kind of crude, haphazard way. But science fiction fandom came in there and AudioTerris has always had a little bit of sci-fi flavor in it because of that. And I would attend these science fiction conventions and suddenly I get to perform. You know, I'm on PBS taking phone calls in a costume, right? And why are we doing this? We volunteered, okay? Because enough of us volunteered and Doctor Who was getting viewership or whatever. The Doctor Who fan club starts in San Jose and we take over the TV station once a month. And once a month we're doing pledge drives. And it's 80 kids all hanging out between, I don't know, 15 and 25, getting to be on TV and being in character. But I recognized that it was still, it wasn't purely original. So, I ended up having these two aspects to life. One place where I could go be creative, but it had a reflection of mass media. And the other place was completely more the art world. And that's kind of AudioTerris, the initial stuff was all churned from that. I mean, if you asked me what I wanted to do, I probably wanted to do pop music and new wave or synths pop or something like that. But I didn't have access to that. So, the creative side came out in these other ways. And then by the early 90s, there was enough there for me to do some stuff with some students at San Jose State University that I had met, became friends with. We did some experimental stuff, but they actually were, well, Kedar Roy, he was an actual musician. He actually played great bass, but he played upright bass. He played electric bass, but he also played fretless. So, he was experimental as well as jazz and classical and whatnot. And I don't know how he met the drummer, Chechi, but he got involved. And then my friend who had recorded piano at the science fiction conventions, he developed as a piano player more. So, he was playing these arpeggios. And that was the first time Auditoreus really shifted into being a band band versus something more experimental. I was still doing stuff like cut up lyrics, like stream of consciousness lyrics, a track called "The Shore" that I want to someday redo. And then that led into stuff like "Beyond the Damage," which was the first track that got pop attention. We were number 11 for six weeks on the goth industrial mp3.com chart, where it's very, it's like a lyric collage. It's very asymmetrical. It's not first song at all. And then with some of these other pieces, with Chris, it would just be this arpeggio that I would sing long, what I'd call long form on top. Again, no verse chorus. You just start a phrase and you go. And there's a peak to the song and an end. It's more the structure like a novel. Got the beginning, it's saying something, it's saying something else. There's a lift and then there's some sort of ending. And that's mother. "Night People" had a little more structure. So we did that for about a year. But I got tired of, I was like, yeah, finally have a, you know, regular band band. But the, okay, we're getting rehearsals together. We meet every Sunday at 10am. Okay, the drummer was hanging out with his buddies last night, so he's drunk, so he can't keep a beat. Yeah, the keyboardist's wife is wondering where he is at, and she wants him to be home. And, you know, all that stuff that is kind of classic rock band thing. Literally what's happening, you're like, guys, this is like, it's not this big major thing. And yet, all that started creeping in. And I was like, okay, this isn't going anywhere. I can't remember if it was at that time, or maybe a little... No. And so I decided, I got a sampling keyboard at a used shop. And I'd used that with the live band, but I started just tracking, I got access to a four track recorder, I just started tracking pieces. And that's where early versions of "Genderfuck" came from, and early versions of "Beyond the Damage," which were these, just this drum, I got a Dr. Boss DR-660, I think was the drum machine. And I just started programming the drum machine. And then I'd play samples on top of the drum machine, and kind of do the spoken word poetry thing. And that became the next chunk of pieces on an album called "Damage." And then I got brought into a band briefly, because some stuff on "Damage" sounded a little bit like Joy Division, and the bass player guy loved Joy Division, and heard it, and they asked me to join the band. the past.

Part Seven:

Band. But it was very clear that the guitarist didn't want me to be there. Previous singer was more of a, I don't know, Pearl Jam kind of singer. Grunge? Yeah, and very, "Raaah!" You know, and I'm not. Eddie Vedder? Yeah, so I just, I was never gonna make his cut. So he would just turn up his guitar and drown me out. And apparently they got in a fight over me and broke up. Oh my god. I broke up a band! Wow. That's annoying. But I ended up getting... I had the backing tracks, at least at one point had the backing tracks for the three singles that they put out. And I went ahead and on the next album, covered using their backing track, one of the tracks I sang with them. Because they broke up, they're never gonna use these tracks, right? So the gal who joined the Audioterrorist around that time had her sing it. And yeah, that's on the Asylum album called "Oh, Old Man." But literally, I had nothing to do with that song. It was written by a different band. The backing track that's on the album was actually that band, just with a female vocalist who had joined Audioterrorist. So Audioterrorist has always been this sort of cutting up and collaging and using the spare parts that are in the garage. It's always had that aspect to it. And it's always, no matter how perfect something Audioterrorist seems at first, it will fall apart. So I became obsessed with trying to get a perfect track, just over and over and over. But it was always about getting at least something. At least something, okay, I have at least something here, and I got another something, and I stick all those somethings together. So with the 40th anniversary, I'd always wanted that perfect track, that polished track. Okay, now I'm gonna do a cover song, I'm gonna work with other producers, what could go wrong? You can lose your voice on the recording day. The recording could have a tone that makes it sound like you're chewing on aluminum, that you spend six months trying to hone and figure out and cut out, because there's this frequency that's bugging you. And so, I've... Yeah. So yeah, I haven't made my way through. Now that I tell that story, I realize how consistent. Like, everything I've done with the band, like I've gotten great technology now, I could have whatever I want. And yet, when an Audioterrorist video happens, or a song happens, it's always flawed and crude in some way. It's like, there's no breaking out of orbit with that. Wow. So anyhow, so the album is going the same direction, and is as chaotic as ever. The draft version of the album was more coherent than when we're out right now. But at the same time, you get out the other side of Lucretia, and it's a track I think, very proud of. And the remix, which you've not heard, the first remix is very cool. And then a guy with the Silicon Valley meetup, producers meetup group, wanted to do a remix. So there's a second remix now that I need to get on top of getting released. And then the "How Soon Is Now" version three of version two, of style two, got mixed, that needs to get released. The producer on that is thinking about, he wanted to do a new version. But his house got flooded, and he had a hot water heater break. And then he tried to do it, he decided he wanted to do it all on analog gear and get away from the laptop. And then the files got lost. And then... So this little album where I'm like, I'm just gonna do like 10 cover tunes and slap it together and, you know, out the door, it's gonna go. Didn't work out that way. But I think the final product, the final creative thing will capture elements of all that journey. Like there are things, there are tracks on it that originally there were other tracks on it that now are dropped. I originally was going to finish the single version of "Afterburner" and put on it. I dropped that. I was going to do a cover, a friend of mine's track called "Supermarket Love". And I've dropped that because I wanted to extend a track from that original live band in '91 lineup. And my buddy Tim heard the 20 second clip. And that was actually the track that got me hired by that other band in the '90s. And he did a complete music arrangement, like an extended three minute structured piece based off of it. And I'm like, I love it. So I spent some time writing like more lyrics for it, but trying to keep it simple because the original one is just very much like an intro of something. So now we actually have a track, a full track of what that could have been in '91. And that's going to go on the album instead of one of the other tracks. So it's like continuing to fold in on itself and evolve. And then I find five tracks of remixes that had gotten missed by the various EPs and whatnot. I think, oh, why don't I do a kind of like 1984 to 2024 40 year anniversary compilation. I'll take the very first Audioterrorist recording, which is my friend George calling me on a broken phone and saying, what's the recall code for the bomber? It's all like distorted and whatnot. I'm like, great. So that's like the first moment of Audio Terrorist on this remix album. And then I've got this industrial banging on a train. And great, now I can rip all that and remove the guy making commentary and spoiling the performance.

Part Eight:

He's out. All of a sudden I have a polished version of what that should have been in 1988. Okay, so here's a clip from '84, here's a clip from '88. Oh, well maybe I should find some more stuff, and I start digging. And then I was like, "Oh, this one track." I always wanted it to be more structured, and I started playing around with Between Lucretia and Tainted Love. That's another adventure from this last year. I started playing around with Logic, and Logic has this thing called Drummer. And I started going, "Oh, I love these drums." I have Ableton Live and the Pushback here, and I've yet to produce a single track. But no, I'm trying to rework Tainted Love, and I'm now in Logic Drummer, painting all these drums. And I paint like ten drum tracks that have nothing to do with each other, but I love them mashed up together. That sounds cool. I quickly took this track called Branded, that was always this long intro. It was like, I don't know, four or five different versions in the band history. Why not have another? Why not? And I structured it a little more singer/songwriter and added this guitar. Because there was a guitar version I found when I was digging through the old recordings that had happened in 2000, that just had this epic guitar intro. I thought, "Great, if I chop this up and restructure it and then use Drummer to put some extra drum parts in there, it could be cool." And I'm like, "Okay, well that goes on that remix album." It's called Revision R. Big R, Big V. Revision 1984 to 2024. So that's a whole piece. So in the end, it'll be a double album of remixes, a new album, and a book for the 40th. That's the goal. And I hope to have all that done by this fall. It is now July. I've been working at this now for two years. I'm now recontextualizing as, well, I can release these things in the 40th year. If it started October 1984, technically I can release these things in 2025 for the 40th anniversary. So that's now the plan. Excellent. Cale, I'm really looking forward to this. I know it's been an ordeal, and we've talked about it in the last conversation we had. It's something that I'm really looking forward to. And what's the format that you want to release it on? In terms of the music, are you planning to do all digital release or CD, cassette tape, vinyl? What's your idea? I held onto the cassette thing for a long time. The CD, I have a whole drawer. Now that I'm downsizing, I've got a drawer of blank CDs. I've got a printer. I've spent the last six months trying to fix so it will print CD labels. And the ink head, I bought a new ink head, and that spills ink. It's like there's all these technical device complexities that for me at this point is not worth it. I know the retro thing is cool and happening, and I was there when other people had left it, and I kept working those mediums, and now I know they've come back. But I've gotten rid of all that gear. The cassettes are in the trash bin, and they've been digitized, and blah, blah, blah. So for me, how I've been working through this whole process is Bandcamp. I've got Bandcamp up there. When I draft the album, I put the draft up. So I'm sketching out what the new album is. So if you actually were watching my Bandcamp, what you would see is that Resistance has been up there for a year and a half, and it's constantly changing on what tracks, what track order, what the flow is, new mixes. And that is fun. It's not fun to try to fix a printer and spend $100 on a new print head and just have it bleed, and then I've got print head purge kit that's over in the bathroom. I am so done with that way of working in the world at this point, and it has been so much of the history. Bandcamp is like, "Aww." Cloud Bounce was great because I could do quick masters. They're not good final masters for that. I've got a guy in Seattle. His masters are exactly what I always wanted my masters to be, so I send everything to him when it's final. But for quickly drafting, I get the mix, get something, run it through Cloud Bounce. It'll do a little AI stuff, make it a bit better. Probably a lot of volume stuff, but it seems to shift the EQ a lot, and I post it in Bandcamp, and then as the next mix happens, I just replace the file. Or if there's instrumental versions or alternate mixes, I just compile them to these EPs, and eventually you have all these EPs, and then once you've got what the key version from the EP is, I put that on the album version. So the album actually, in my mind, I was just creating drafts of the work that will be final someday, and I was out of town visiting with a friend, and he goes, "Why do you have 10 tracks of the exact same track?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" He goes, "On your Bandcamp, you just updated the album with 10 of the same thing," and I got notified. I'm like, "I didn't know anybody was watching." You know, I just--he had joined the mailing list, and he had signed up, and so he's getting pinged when I'm doing all this iteration and all this drafting and redrafting. He's getting pinged all the time. That's funny. So that's how I've been behaving as far as releases, and then I realized at that moment, oh, someone, if they wanted to follow the process of the album, I'm not doing little videos. "Hey, welcome to this week. This is what's happening with the album." News updates. Essentially, if you're observing me, you'll see all this activity kind of chaotically happening, and this music happens, and eventually something kind of finalized, and maybe you like the old version. Maybe you like the version pre-Ed's flood, and I will say for the producers I'm working with, for a couple of them, they're not really into my whole iteration thing, but I'm like, "Every time you get a mix, you give it to me." "Oh, but that's not the finished mix. That's not the finished--" "No, no, you give it to me," and then I master it, and I put it on one of these EPs that just compiles all the history of how the track developed. To me, that's interesting to me. So again, I don't think this is what's cool right now, but if you really wanted to follow what I'm doing musically, check in on that. You can sign up to my band camp, and you'll get pinged when I suddenly find out that I can take this song, "Oh, I launched it in the wrong bit rate, and it created this weird dirge version, and I've added it to the album." I think it sounds fascinating to me. It's really cool to hear the same song from different producers, because they're going to have different ways of mixing that song. It's going to sound slightly different from everybody you're going to hand it off to. These little disasters keep happening, and you come back to a track. I think nowadays, things are so slick, they're so easy to produce, that some of that maybe is lost. One of my guilty pleasures are watching these retro album documentary bits on YouTube. What was the one on the other day?

Part Nine:

There was...I can't remember which band it was. Literally the producer, someone walked in and the producer was about to hit record and erase the master of the song that became famous. Because he was like, they were just chewing on the song, it was going nowhere, and he was like, fine, I'm just going to erase the mother. And the guy came in with lunch and said, what are you about to do? And physically pulled him away from the tape recorder. So history's full of that. And this sort of like... I was watching an interview with the B-52s last night, and they were talking about how on the first album, they were cutting little sections out of tape. People really did razor blades. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got this right phrase right. Or they would record onto tapes and then they would bounce and compile. You think prog rock bands like Genesis got up there and just played the pieces all the way through and they're like, no, we got that one bit right, we got that one bit right, and we compiled them. And obviously, Strawberry Fields Forever is compiled from two takes, is a single version of it. Two takes, and they turned out they were in two different keys. So they slowed down one take and they sped up the other take so that they would be in the same key, and then they edited them together. And that's the single of Strawberry Fields. Impressive. And bands have done that where they've edited entire albums that way. Pink Floyd, yeah, they're like, we could only play 10 bars, and we could never play more than that many minutes on the album. So they just edited chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, right? They're doing this in real tape. Wow. I go, oh, I guess Auditoris isn't so different. You think, oh, these rock heroes, they just got up there and played a whole hour of music, end to end perfect, and recorded the album. No. No. It was this churning and iterative of, I found one chunk, I found one chunk, oh, I discovered this other chunk. So that's kind of where those projects are. I will say the other side project, it was jamming with some guys here local in Seattle who do not believe in any editing. Okay. Yeah. Jeez. That's naked, man. And the first, I'd never met them before. It was a drummer, bass player, and me. Never met before. We jammed, what came out of it was four tracks, and that got released as Audio Terrorist “Raw Jam”, I think, last year. And a friend of mine contacted me and said, hey, it was a cool EP you put out, reminded me of Patti Smith. Oh, wow. And I was like, okay, I always heard of Patti Smith, famous, okay, I went and watched some of her stuff. I'm like, okay, I could hear it. I thought it was terrible because I'm singing out of key or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, technical, right? Yeah. And I said, hey, could we do some pitch correction on this one? The guy's like, no, no, you spoil the cringe. I'm like, what? I'm always trying to tweak to make things better. And you're like, no, this is perfect as is. And as I listened to it more and more, because it was recorded in 2020, I was like, I get it. I get it. I was driving in the car. And again, band camp, put up in band camp. I listened to it in my car when I'm commuting and kind of like, get into the thing and discover it from a listener standpoint versus the performer standpoint. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Now we did some stuff last year, about a year ago. It's not audio terrorist. The first thing had an audio terrorist nature to it. But yeah, I was asked to show up. They're like, hey, the guy, I don't know if you know TITAL? No. Streaming Service, T-I-T-A-L. I don't know it. They're like a band camp. They're one of the streaming services. The guy who invented the streaming service was visiting the mastering engineer guy now who's friends with the guy that has the warehouse that has the live performance space. So they said, hey, we need a vocalist. And I jammed with Kai, the keyboardist, before. And we all just, you just start. Someone starts doing something, and someone starts doing something else. I mean, there's no plan. And I channeled a little bit of Fred Schneider of B-52s and was going off about aliens getting parking tickets. That sounds cool. And they released that as an album called High Freak, F-R-E-Q. So MetaSynth two months ago? You know, I don't know if you saw what happened or... I saw someone on YouTube mention it, and I thought, hey, I know you, and you've been working on it for years now. And this is a new YouTube channel. Some YouTube guys talked about it and talked about Apex Twin. And I thought, this is a great conversation that's happening, and I should contact you and say, hey, let's talk about MetaSynth and what's going on and get more in-depth on it. Yeah, and I'll try to be a little more structured since that's not my passion art, but that's a business thing. I think I can frame that more in detail. I will say that I will tell the Hans Zimmer story. I will tell the Ben Jordan story, which is related to the Apex Twin thing recently. And I'd love to hear what Herbie Hancock is doing with it. I don't want to dog Blizzard Entertainment, but they are a big company. Tim says they got bought out by Microsoft, and they're not willing to buy a second license. Come on. Come on. Come on, Blizzard Entertainment. You're using the app. You can buy more than one copy that you're then pirating and sharing internally. Interesting. That's a story for another day. Until next time. Caleb, thank you for talking to me about the 40th anniversary album of AudioTerrorist coming out later this year. And I'm really excited about it. I'm glad you gave me some really great in-depth on it. And we're going to have this up on North Beats Podcast real soon, have a chat about medicine. There'll be another podcast for North Beats Podcast with you and I on a different topic.

Part Ten:

Korey Luna [Outro Music] https://piqued.fm/audio-terrorist-turns-40-with-a-journey-through-resistance-and-sound-evolution/

North Beats II [Team 1] (2024)

Rain and resonance unite the voices of Audio Terrorist's creative circle // DEC 3, 2024 - Interview

Summary by Korey Luna

In late November, while walking through the rain-soaked streets of North Beach, I reflected on a monumental milestone for Audio Terrorist—their 40th anniversary album. After an intimate conversation with founder Kalib Duarte, we hosted a group interview with some of the most pivotal figures in his creative journey. Mastering engineer Steve Turnidge, recording engineer Chris Wirsig, musician Tim Leeann, and producer Ed Clare all joined the discussion, with an unexpected detour into botany courtesy of Dr. Forrest Freund, making for a vibrant and eclectic exchange.

We delved into the origins of Audio Terrorist, uncovering how the project evolved from a chaotic, collage-like experiment into a collaborative force driven by diverse talents. Kalib shared memories of cutting tape with scissors in 1984, reflecting on the raw and improvised nature of his early work. Steve Turnidge described Kalib’s unique ability to curate and unite talent, crafting a sonic tapestry that bridges decades. Key moments, like their reinterpretation of “Tainted Love,” stood out as milestones in Audio Terrorist’s journey of self-discovery.

The conversation kept circling back to the alchemy of collaboration—how raw ideas were transformed into something extraordinary through collective effort. Steve likened the process to "turning lead into gold," while Tim Leeann, often seen as the group's grounding force, shared how their weekly creative sessions stretched boundaries and created magic. For 40 years, this blend of unique voices has shaped Audio Terrorist into a living expression of unity and innovation.

As we wrapped up, Kalib offered a beautiful metaphor, calling Audio Terrorist a “curated museum of sound.” Each track on the 40th-anniversary album is more than music; it’s a story of connection and creativity woven through decades of collaboration. Audio Terrorist isn’t just a band—it’s a testament to what happens when artists come together, embrace imperfection, and let the magic unfold. Korey interviews Kalib, Tim, Chris, Ed, Steve…

The Interview:

Welcome to North Beats Podcast, speaking with the people behind the electronic music. I'm your host, Korey Luna.

North Beats Podcast is part of Peaked.fm, a platform for electronic musicians and enthusiasts with Richard Huggbin. Follow our other streams, Seismic Audio for exclusive underground music, and Patch Dispatch for industry news.

While trotting in the rain of North Beach in late November following the interview with Kalib DuArte in anticipation of the 40th anniversary album of Audio Terrorist, we conducted a group interview with creative musicians, mixers, masters, and producers

Kalib has collaborated with us over the years. This is one of two group interviews. This episode features guests Kalib DuArte, Steve Turnidge, Ed Clare, Chris Wirsig, and Tim Leehane.

Listen for the time warp in the episode where we have a brief botany lesson from Dr. Forrest Freund…

It's probably time I turn off the foot massager that's underneath the mixing board.

Oh, Chris Wirsig is here.

I don't hear anything.

All these creaky noises.

I didn't even think to set up the good mic.

You know, we roll with it.

Chris!

Mr. Chris in the house.

Hello, Chris. Nice to see you.

Hi, Steve.

I think it's our first time in flesh.

Face to face, yes.

This is our flesh meeting.

Fantastic.

So this is what -- these are all the -- this is the pig face of audio terrorist, huh?

Half of it.

Love it.

Hopefully you guys don't think I called you all pig faces.

I think you guys all get the reference.

You all look like a spooky bunch.

I didn't, but I'm okay being called a pig face.

There's this industrial band called pig face and they have kind of a rotating roster.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was listening -- I constantly listen to K-MVFDM's cymbals album, which has -- I think has the front man of pig face in it.

I love it.

Which is -- I can't remember his name.

Darn it.

What's the front man from pig face's name?

I only became aware of pig face the brief time they were collabing with ministry and nine inch.

So --

Was that the '90s?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, revco, that's a good one, too.

Yeah.

Oh, was that revco?

That was revco, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Tim!

'90s.

But, yeah, they were all getting high and playing together and doing projects.

We're having a lot of flesh here.

Oh, Alan Watts.

Oh, yes.

That's it.

Took me a minute.

Hi, Tim, I'm Cory.

What's up, everybody?

How's it going?

Wow.

You're like in the left channel.

You've got some stereo action.

Yeah, I'll turn that off.

There we go.

Hey.

Hi, Tim.

Good to see you.

Likewise.

How's everybody doing?

Good.

Nice to meet you.

I mean, this is a frickin' historic moment right here.

I mean, I live my life sending you guys text chats all the time, and I commonly will be

bouncing from one of you to the other of you to, you know, something's getting mixed and

I'll ping it off to Steve, to Master, and then Tim to review and tell me, "Is that okay?

Am I hearing weird things?"

So I must admit, like, 15 minutes ago I was that kid in sixth grade going, "Is anybody

going to show up to my party?"

We are the cats that you stack.

Well, this is the part where you regret it because then I'm not going to talk shit about

you.

That's fine.

The other part of this was, you know, Korey had interviewed me over the summer and I was

telling my story and I was like, "Well, what is this thing?"

It's a label and then stuff happens and it happens for a bunch of different people and

it means different things to them.

And, like, Steve, and I realize you in a way, even though you're somewhat the most aloof,

he's just the guy putting polish at the end, you actually hear everything from a neutral

viewer, which none of the rest of us do.

So you actually hear Ed's work and Chris's work and Tim's work come through to you with

this label, Audio Terrorist.

So you have some context, like, as an observer of what the hell we're all doing, where I'm

like, "I'm worried about my voice.

Did I get that take?"

You know, I'm all down in the weeds.

I'm also very much a listener.

So lately I've become a vinyl zealot, but I've been listening for my whole life.

And so, I'm a mastering engineer because it is my passion and I get to do that.

And you get your avocation and vocation aligned and you never work and you have an empty calendar

and a full life and the universe makes a set list and you're the universe.

And so I get to listen for a living and I enjoy it.

And your stuff is fantastic to hear and it aligns with me yet again.

So that's an avocation, vocation, and fandom are all put into one.

So I get a chance to have a wonderful life.

Thank you, Kevin.

Kalib, see you guys.

Hey, we can edit that out, right, Korey?

[Laughter]

No, that is the biggest compliment.

You throwing the fan piece in there is the biggest compliment.

Because all the stuff I'm listening to now, I'm now getting in the car lately

and I'll be like, "Oh, do I want to listen to this? Do I want to listen to this?

I want to listen to that Audio Terrorist."

I'm enjoying the album and how it's coming along and it's no longer a project I'm working on.

So wait, after 40 years, you're actually being proud of your music?

It took that long?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't know.

I wonder how that's all, man.

The first decades are full of cringe.

[Laughter]

You've heard a grunge music that's cringe music at the beginning

and then it starts sounding good.

So Kalib comes over and plays at the Players Lounge with us

where we've played for over 12 years there with like 5,000 tracks and 400 videos

and Kalib comes in and near the beginning of that, it's pure improv all the way back.

Watching the early ones, man, that's challenging.

But we're working on the process so that we can get instances of value.

So it's process over instance and the songs become a casual byproduct of our process.

And that's what I--we're presententious.

We aren't pretentious.

As we make it, we design post-tentious as far as all of our post-production

because we're all engineers and the like.

So that worked out nice.

It's so good to have Kalib in.

And he sort of like beams down from the Enterprise

and tells us about the universe that he is exploring for the last five years

and brave new worlds and amazing things happen.

So that's probably--I think the first night we met or we made a date

and you came over with your brand new in-the-box theremin

and you spent most of the time setting that up.

So we were playing around you, you know.

It worked later and later.

Yeah, it's one of those impractical things that I--

And the way to meet people is to play music with them, right?

The way you know who they are.

The verbal is who they say they are, but the music is who they actually are.

And I thank you for that because AudioTerror started as chaotic improv

and just recording stuff that was going on around me.

Friend playing the piano, someone banging on a pipe.

It was what I had the gear and talent to do, and that's how I said,

"Well, I always really wanted to do song, but I didn't have the resources

or the talent or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

So it started off as this collage band of kind of captured things.

And Players' Lounge has a lot of those qualities.

You guys are more musical. It's more of a band sound.

But it is this total improv where I don't know what the heck is going to come out of my mouth.

It connects to that and that cringe.

And Greg, who is the guru at Players' Lounge, I--

I remember him 100%.

Yeah, I'm always saying to him, "Ah, yay, can we do something with the vocal?"

And he's like, "It's perfect, man. It's perfect as it is. It's the moment."

And I'm like, "Okay."

And the first jam we did has now been released as Audio Terrace Raw Jam EP.

And it's a little six-track EP.

And at the time I thought, "This is not releasable."

And then years later I listened to it and I said, "This is brilliant. This is lovely."

And that's what cringe turns into.

It's pretty interesting because you get to the end point where the nice--

And your collage band sounds cool, especially contrasted with the college band, which are different.

But when Greg was working on that, we didn't know if we had anything.

We often don't. He mixes and I master.

Typically he's learned to master now, so I'm redundant and just play bass.

But he didn't know if he had anything.

And then he was saying, "Man, have you listened to this Kalib stuff? That's really--"

It got under his skin, which is just the appropriate thing.

And then it seems to have gotten under your skin too.

And after I put it up there, a guy that I know who did some of the first Audio Terrace recordings--

Hopefully he'll join us on Sunday.

He said, "This sounds like a Patti Smith record."

So wait a second. It sounds like, Steve, you've worked with Kalib forever.

And then Chris, I know you've worked with him for quite a bit.

Then he came to Seattle.

Just five years.

Oh, five years.

So literally, how I met Steve was we were at a music business kind of event.

I don't know why we started talking, but I mentioned MetaSynth and he said,

"Hey, I'm heading over to the AES monthly event. You want to follow me?"

That's right.

So we got in the car and I went over and sat with a bunch of engineers talking about speaker porting.

I'm just wondering if I'm the only FNG here.

No, no.

Just to cut in for a sec, guys.

I'm curious about if we could start with maybe a bit of a timeline to say when Audio Terrace started

and how all of you got involved and in what period of time,

so that maybe we can have a little bit more cohesion with this conversation.

The adult is in the room. Thank you, Korey.

Love it.

I'll start because it's at the beginning.

1984, using cassette recorder, taping and making sound collages,

cutting tape with scissors and scotch tape and all that fun stuff.

And then Kalib, from cutting tape with scissors and starting in 1984,

who else have you met in this soiree of Zoom?

The folks all on this call, I think the next person to come into my orbit would be 10 years ago.

That'd be Chris.

What was that event?

That was in San Francisco, or rather in San Rafael, north of San Francisco,

through West Coast Songwriters.

West Coast Songwriters, that's right.

Can you bring your volume up, Chris?

Roomful of engineers, can we handle that? I don't know.

We should call it gain, fellas. Come on.

Should I say, we met in San Francisco and in San Rafael at West Coast Songwriters

at the monthly kind of open mic thing that they have.

And the funny thing is these open mics are a typical singer-songwriter thing quite often,

guys with an acoustic guitar standing on stage.

And somehow I guess I played with someone a No Carrier song, which is more electropop,

and Kalib immediately clicked to that because that's very unusual at these nights.

Oh, God. I used to judge some of those nights, and I would have just been tickled pink

if I heard some from Dark Wave show up at one of those things.

That's awesome. I love it.

Look at the guy. He has a shaved head. He wears all black, and he has cool music.

I must know this guy.

These are my people.

So that's how that started.

And Chris, how have you been involved since you've met Kalib?

I think the first thing we did was a cover version of Don Henley's "Boys of Summer"

for No Carrier, right?

And I asked Kalib if he wants to sing on that.

And you wouldn't think how tough that song is to sing because it sounds very easy.

But what Don Henley in his vocals does is he doesn't really hit all the notes.

It's like very weird tunings in his voice, but it fits with the song.

Right.

And that's probably the reason why it won best rock vocal at the Grammys that year

when it came out originally.

And Kalib, you better tell that story.

Like you had an ear infection a few days before we recorded, and you weren't sure,

and I just probably with a whip pushed him.

So here's the story.

I've been practicing these lyrics and I realize this song that just sounds like it flows

is batshit.

Like its structure and the phrasing and the word play is crazy and it's very hard to memorize.

I'm like, "Okay, we're going to have to do this in chunks."

Then, so I'm stressed about that, then my ears are totally plugged stuffed,

so I can't hear.

I have the ear canal of a seven-year-old, so I have to flush my ears every month to open them.

So I'm like, "Okay, flush my ears."

Right before I'm coming over, I'm like, "Okay, just flush it."

I had this squeeze bulb and I got it too close to the ear and it created suction

and it ruptured the ear drum.

So now I have congestion in the astation tube and a ruptured ear drum,

and I'm going to do a vocal on a song, "I Do Not Feel Confident,"

at all that in front of Chris for the first time.

No pressure.

So I showed up and we did a bunch of takes and I--

all that stuff.

And he goes, "Yeah, we're done."

And I'm like, "Okay."

And I go, "You have what you need?"

He goes, "Yeah, I think so."

"Okay, well, you know, this has been an experience.

I'm sorry I wasted this guy's time.

Go home and cry in my milk."

And then I get this phone call.

"Kalib, do you mind if the song's the single?"

And he had, like, four amazing women singers on this EP.

And I'm like, "Why mine?

The one I'm on, right?"

Because I love the song and it sounds great.

And then he calls me, I don't know, a little bit later.

"Do you mind if you shoot a music video?

Do you mind acting?"

And we did this in, I think, the best music video

that I've ever been in.

And it went out and it was getting all these views

and what, Universal Music Group or someone?

Yep.

Blocked it on YouTube.

And then we got it unblocked again.

I think at the moment it's blocked again,

but that's more due to YouTube's weird algorithm

that sometimes detects something it shouldn't detect

because it's all good.

It's a cover version.

You have all the rights to the cover version.

But, yeah, well, that's another story.

I just want to say Chris did more.

After that, he did a show and he wanted me to have a second song,

so he did this version of "Tainted Love."

And that's when I got the cold.

And I showed up with a sore throat with laryngitis

to do the live show.

And that "Tainted Love," your final version came out last year,

and then mine, Amit, plus maybe a bit of Tim's version

comes out on the 24th.

So you never know when something's going to happen.

Is that the version that's on the Resistance release for November?

Yes.

It sounds awesome.

I was just listening to that album on my bike ride home from work tonight.

Great job.

I was happy to see it when it came across my desk.

The whole thing sounds awesome.

It's fantastic.

And there's an EP where Chris did an orchestral--

no, that's different.

He did orchestral "Lacretia."

I'm going to shut up now and let everybody else speak.

Chris, do you have any other tidbits to add to that production?

To which one?

I mean, the "Tainted Love" kind of was a work in progress over the years.

When did we do the live show?

Probably in '15 or so?

Maybe.

Yeah, I think so.

And I kind of had it on my hard drive for a while.

And probably two years ago or two and a half years ago,

Kalib asked again about it.

And I listened to it after years again.

I was like, it doesn't sound too bad.

It's this harsh, lightly industrial version of it.

And so I was like, can we finish this one?

And maybe you do your audio terrorist version as well,

because that's, again, different.

So why not have different versions?

And so that's the first one that's out of a year or two now.

And then the audio terrorist one coming out now.

Yeah, that was it.

Tyrone was producing my vocals for that version, the original version.

And he thought it'd be cool for me to actually not sing the melody,

but sing the harmony and leave off the melody.

And then you listened to it and said, what the heck?

And it kind of got shelved from there.

And then it was like some years went by,

and this is where Ed and I talk a lot about this,

is all of a sudden we pull it back off the shelf and we said, oh,

this sounds very contemporary.

It's like that's what everybody's doing now,

this like sitting on the second or whatever.

Yeah.

That's basically a cool idea.

Yeah.

And do you have any comments about this?

Yeah, no, I remember hearing it.

I don't want to comment too much on other people's work.

I don't want to step on their toes or anything like that.

But I mean, it was fun.

And I was like, we're all getting older.

And like at some point you just got to do what's fun as an artist to

yourself.

You stop caring about whether, I mean, okay.

We've all had to deal with Kalib's major overthinking.

I'm sure.

But still like, you know, and, and, and,

but sometimes it's just fun to go like, dude, it's, it's fine.

Just do this.

You know? And, and it's because you're an artist first and foremost.

It's don't think about how people are going to perceive it or this or

anything like that.

So, you know,

I'm raising my hand.

He's saying this.

He's the one that called the version. I approved the Glee version.

That doesn't mean it was bad.

I like Glee.

90% of my time is spent on, on, on K-pop.

And I just got off the phone with Snoop dog's son.

So like, you know, like, like.

So I have no problem with pop at all whatsoever.

So, so Glee is Glee is not an insult, but maybe it was to you.

I don't know.

I don't even know if I answered the question, but like, yeah, no,

I love hearing that story about.

It going through these iterations. I'm like, oh no,

we got to shove it because of this and then come back to it.

And it's like, nah, it sounds like me to go. Yeah. No, no, it's fine.

You know, it does sound like.

Chris, I should mention before we move on with, with our discussion.

I think we've got a lot of time.

We've got a lot of time.

So I'm going to go ahead and ask you to share a little bit about your

journey with the band.

And then we'll get to the questions.